And now for something completely different:

Who *Should* Benson Be Sleeping With? That's The Real Question...

Before the SVU episode of 3/20 aired, TV Guide did an article about the 7 most likely candidates that Olivia Benson was sleeping with. I'm not sure why we really care that much but it's all the official twitters of SVU could even talk about. So, well, if TPTB were going to insist on hyping it, I was going to put in my two cents. So this is my answer to the TV Guide article. TV Guide might have hit on the most *likely*, but these are the 7 people that really *should* have been in the running... (yes, this is a little snarky but all in good fun)


Alex Cabot
As soon as Benson first reached for that mysterious hand in the Jan. 2 episode, we were like "What the what?!", but then as soon as we heard they went to the Bahamas (or Caribbean, or Cuba, or whatever) we thought "bikini" and then, of course, we thought Alex Cabot. And then we thought "glasses" and then we thought "Alex Cabot in a bikini with glasses of power and justice" and then we thought, "I need a moment." In short, it's probably Alex. And if it isn't, it should be.

Ed Greene
Back in the good ol' days of early SVU and some of the glory years of Mothership, Benson and Greene worked together a few times. And since Greene is no longer with the force, there's no possibility of a conflict of interest. Also, if Olivia is going to make someone smile, who better than Ed Greene because, come on, Jesse L. Martin has the best smile in the Law and Orderverse and beyond!

Rick Castle and Kate Becket, Castle
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Duh, obvious!" Okay, that's probably not what you're thinking. You're probably thinking, "Um, he's not on the same show. He's not even on the same channel." But boys and girls, loves knows no bounds, not even the bounds of network channels. Because in the world of fictional TV characters, Rick Castle and Kate Becket do live in New York. And I bet Becket had a thing with Benson back in their days as rookie NYPD beat cops (come on, you know they did), and once Becket introduced her 'old friend' Olivia to her 'new friend' Castle, Castle was all, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" and Becket and Olivia were all "if you're thinking threesome, then yes."

John Munch
Some people find this pairing squicky. But I'm all for it. Why? Because the one liners from Munch of him bragging about it would be too, too awesome. And more Munch is always a good thing.

Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock
I know Jack is all about power and money and Olivia is all about helping victims, but that's why they're perfect for each other, because opposites attract. Olivia would look good on Jack's arm and play nice with the Kabletown people and Jack would be a wonderful distraction for Olivia and would allow material for Munch to make fun of (see, more Munch!). But how did they even meet, you ask? Easy, Gretchen Thomas (aka Stephanie March aka Alex Cabot) wanted a second try with Liz so they agreed to bring a friend. Gretchen brought Olivia, Liz brought Jack. And it was like When Harry Met Sally only not at all.

Abbie Charmichael
It's been nearly 10 years since we've heard from Abbie Charmichael and the actress doesn't even remember she ever was on SVU. But no matter, together Benson and Charmichael were a force to be reckoned with on screen and in the interrogation room. Also, Benson has a track record for loving the lawyers, and having a friend in the feds (like Abbie was last we heard from her) can't hurt.

Harold Finch, Person of Interest
While we're crossing TV shows but remaining in NYC, let's talk about Harold Finch. See, The Machine spit out Benson's name one day months ago. She was in trouble. Terrible trouble: she was scripted to get involved with Barba (or Cassiday or Stabler or Ellis or Amaro or you get the idea). Finch and Reece needed to save her from this terrible, horrible, no-going-back character assassination. And that's how they met. Benson and Finch. Finch and Benson. And it's been a sweet sweet love affair since. Secret, of course, but sweet.

There you have it.

:D