World of Warcraft is owned by Blizzard. I only own the original characters.

Title: Heroes of Warcraft

Season 1: Quest for the Holy Grail and that Stupid Dan Brown Novel

Author: GenerationX7

Summary: A rag tag group of would be heroes must find the truth, that could change Christianity forever. As well as defend Azeroth from the Demon Horde.

Author's Note: I haven't played WoW yet. Mostly because I don't like paying a monthly fee to play a online game. Though that may change because I'm thinking of turning this story into a machinima series. But that will be a while from now. So enjoy the fanfic version till then.

A gnome is riding a horse while singing "Ghost Riders is the Sky" through a open field. Three blood elves, two male and a female, are watching this human and laughing at him.

"What is this guy doing anyway?" one of the male blood elves asked.

"This guy thinks that just because he sold his soul to the devil, he's the new Ghost Rider." the other male blood elf said.

"You mean he really sold his soul to the devil? What did he sell it for?"

"A bag of Cheetos." the second blood elf turned to his companions. "Hey watch this."

The blood elf walked over to the human and cast a fire spell. Setting the poor delusional midget on fire, along with his horse.

"I'M ON FIRE! I'M ON FIRE! I'M ON FIRE!" the human cried.

The three blood elves burst into laughter.

"STOP LAUGHING AT ME! I'M ON FREAKING FIRE!"

As all three laughs, a Orc runs up to them.

"FOR THE HORDE!"

Then the Orc proceeds to beat the crap out of the three.

Episode 1: Introductions are in order

The City of Stormwind

Human Paladin class Jerry Bagwell walks into the head Inquisitors office, Crazy Charlie, where he stands in front of the purple haired elf High Inquisitor.

"You wanted to see me boss?" Jerry asked.

"Yes." Charlie said. "I'll get straight to the point Jerry. You're fired."

"I'm what?"

"You're fired Jerry. I'm sorry I have to do this to you, but I need a open spot for my cousin Strongman Larry on the team. Come on in Larry."

A Orc hunter comes in and says "I like circles. They're round and stuff."

"You've got to be kidding me." Jerry said to himself.

Jerry Bagwell is the main character of this story.

XXXXX

In a city in the Outlands, everyone is talking at the city square. When a blood elf warlock made his appearance. He wears black and red clothing and carries a staff.

"My name is Lucifer!" said the blood elf. "Prince of Darkness! I'm here to increase my ranks..."

"LUCIFER DIABLO SATAN!" said a female blood elf. She runs up to the devil and grabs him by the ear. Using his ear to drag him of the stone stage that is set up in the city square. "Now come on! Dinner is ready!"

"What are we having tonight?"

"Meatloaf, your favorite."

"Yippee!"

Lucifer is the main antagonist of this story, as well as the devil himself and leader of the Demon Horde. He's also a total douche bag for living with his mom at the age of 33 in human years.

XXXXX

Benny, a Gnome mage with a knack for mechanical stuff.

"I heard you got fired." Benny said in a Korean accent.

"Yeah..." Jerry takes another sip of his beer. "I don't know what I'll do now."

Just then a paladin enters the bar and clears his throat. "Lowly heathens hear me! His Holiness, Pope Constantine XXIII will now be drinking with you losers."

Pope Constantine and Cardinal Joe enter the bar and sit down next to Jerry.

Cardinal Joe is a grumpy old man and the drummer of the Christian heavy metal band, Heavenly Saints of Heavy Metal.

Pope Constantine XXIII is the lead singer of the Heavenly Saints of Heavy Metal. He is also a man that tries to unite all denominations of Christianity. He has succeeded somewhat. There is turmoil though. Because of the different beliefs and doctrines.

"I talked to Charlie today." Constantine said. "While we couldn't agree on bringing you back into his squad. He did suggest that I start a whole new elite squad with you as the captain."

"You mean I'm re-hired and I'm being promoted?"

Constantine nodded.

"Whoo-hoo!" Jerry jumps off his bar stool and starts dancing.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you..."

Constantine sighs. "Inquisitors..."

XXXXX

A human warrior nears the bar where Joe, Constantine, Jerry and Benny is at. He is wearing green armor and carries a broadsword.

Ban Drown, a human warrior and amateur author. His main goal in life is to prove his idol's, Dan Brown, works to be fact. Which is why he's going to this bar.

"This looks like a good place to find some party members." Ban said.

He walks into the bar.

XXXXX

"Who is that round eye tough guy and what does he want?" Benny asked looking over at Ban try to recruit members for his party. Jerry and Constantine look over as well.

"I'll go talk to the young man." Constantine takes his pint mug of beer and goes over to Ban's table.

"What do you think they're talking about?" Jerry asked.

"I don't know." Benny replied.

XXXXX

It has been several minutes, at least a hour, since Constantine had started talking with Ban. Now they are done talking and both walk over to Jerry, Joe and Benny.

"It seems Mr. Drown here has a adventure he wants to go on." Constantine said. "However what he seeks is most disturbing to me and the denominations of Azeroth Christianity. We must talk about this business somewhere else. As to not to cause a panic."

"You can say it here."Jerry said. "I'm sure everyone in this place is drunk out of their minds to understand what you're saying anyway."

"Very well." Constantine clears his throat. "Ban here wants to prove that the story The Da Vinci Code is a work of non fiction."

"Isn't the Da Vinci Code that story about Jesus and Mary being married and having kids?"

"Jesus and Marry were married and they had kids!?" said one drunken patron. Who then caused a panic inside the bar and made the drunk customers to run out of the bar screaming. However one dwarf hunter pointed his boom stick at his head and pulled the trigger. Causing his head to explode and decorate the walls.

"You're right." Jerry said to Constantine. "We should've left the bar before talking about this."

XXXXX

"So you're going to have my squad escort Ban here to find the truth?" Jerry said in the main chambers of the Cathedral of Light, the main headquarters of Azeroth's churches and denominations.

"Yes and I've already selected Benny to be a member of your squad."

"Wait a second round eye!" Benny said in anger. "I never signed up to be a Inquisitor!"

"But captains or the higher ups of the church can deputize others to be Inquisitors." Jerry said. "So you just got deputized by His Holiness."

"This had better be worth it!"

"Now we need a priest and a couple of other classes." Joe said.

"Well..." Jerry was about to make a suggestion when Larry came running in, crying like a baby."

Strongman Larry, a Orc hunter who is all brawn and no brain. While you can't do much to him physically, you can bring him to tears mentally and emotionally without too much effort.

"Cousin said I was useless!" Larry cried. "Then he kicked me out of his squad!"

"Oh Larry my son." Constantine comforted the Orc. "You're not useless. If you're looking for a new squad to join. Why don't you join Jerry's. He need some more members."

"Okay!" That cheered Larry quickly.

"Well we need two more to join our ranks." Jerry said. "Wait here. I'll be right back."

"I hope he isn't going to recruit who I think he's going to recruit?" Constantine said. Joe merely nodded in confirmation.

XXXXX

Jerry stops at a building called Peaches Brothel. He walks inside and as he does, the sign falls off to reveal a sign underneath. This sign says Inquisitors' House of Pancakes. Basically a Inquisitor hangout, as well as a place to torture those who sin against God. Plus it is a place to lure those wayward souls by tempting them to come have sexual relations with women. Particularly Sisters of the Church. Mother Peaches, a beautiful but a tough love mentor for the nuns, runs the brothel trap. Who said nuns weren't allowed to help out the Inquisitors? In fact there are a few nuns that fight along side the Inquisiors. Those women are called the Warrior Nuns. Man, Azeroth Christianity is way different than Earth's Christianity.

"I see you're still running this brothel Mother Peaches." Jerry said to a female Night Elf in revealing armor and has long red hair.

"Jerry is that you?" the Night Elf said with a smile. "It's been a while. I take it you want to see my daughter Ginger and her friend Angel. Well you're in luck because Ginger ended her restraining order against you last week."

"Well yeah." Jerry said. "I want to know if they'll join my new squad."

"You're a squad captain now?" Peaches hugged him. "Well congratulations. Wait here. I'll go tell them you're here and what business you have." Peaches goes upstairs while Jerry waits.

Sister Ginger Orchard, a female Night Elf rogue and daughter of Mother Peaches Orchard. She's hot blooded and hates Jerry for a incident that took place not too long ago. Of course she was forced to end her restraining order against the paladin. She's still a total bitch and she is also Jerry's girlfriend. Though the restraining order kept them out of contact until now. Her temper is as fiery as her fiery red hair.

Sister Angel Seraphim, a female Draenei shaman and life long friend of Ginger Orchard. She was born in Azeroth but her parents came to Azeroth from the Outland. The Outland is a Muslim occupied world. Her parents left Outland because of the civil wars between the tribes there.

"But mom!" Ginger shouted. "I don't want to help Jerry with his squad! I want to continue to act like a slut to lure perverted men to be tortured."

Ginger is wearing nothing but her underwear and her medium fiery red hair.

"I'm only forcing you because it can get you out of this place and see Azeroth." Peaches said. "Besides, the reward for such a journey with the new squad will be great."

Once Ginger heard the word reward and her mind has been changed. Though Ginger may be a Christian, she is a bit greedy.

"Alright I'll join Jerry's squad." the Night Elf said. Then Angel walked up to the two after changing back into her shaman robes.

"If Ginger is in, then so am I."

XXXXX

Jerry returned with Angel and Ginger. Where they were briefed by Constantine on the mission.

"I'll be telling the news immediately." he said. "So you seven can get ready for the press conference.

Author's Comment: Well I nothing else to say that I loved the movie version of The Da Vinci Code. However you can't expect me to believe the part about Jesus and Mary being married and having kids, can you? Dan Brown has no absolute proof either. He just took biblical scriptures and misinterpreted them. That's all. Well this first season is a parody of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Da Vinci Code and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Basically any movie that has the Holy Grail in it. Someday this will be done as a machinima series. I just know it.