I'm in a stream of consciousness mood. Actually, I'm always in a stream of consciousness mood. Anyway, this is my first attempt at Harley-Joker so be nice. PLEASE REVIEW!!! Much love, Cat

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Listened to One Sweet Love by Sara Bareilles while writing this.

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We have no place being together. Why do I continue to do this to myself, to subject myself to this torment? This is insane. I'm better than this. He's never going to love me. How many times will take it take for that to finally make it through this red and black shield I've erected against reality? No matter how many times I keep applying it, this makeup only hides the real me. It's not in me as it is in him. Without the accoutrements we aren't compatible. Without me trying, putting in the effort, putting in all the effort, we wouldn't have any connection at all. He doesn't need me. He'd be just fine without me. Hasn't he said as much countless times before? But oh…when he smiles. When he smiles at me I forget it all, not that devilish clown grin, but that placating smile, the one he reserves just for me, when he's been bad. How could I stay mad at him when he's so adorable? He doesn't mean to hurt me…he probably doesn't know that he does it half the time that he does. I'm just too sensitive. I've built up all of these illusions in my head so it's no wonder when he doesn't live up to them I'm disappointed. That isn't his fault. He's only a man. My man. Lord, how I love him.

"Puddin'?" she whispered tentatively, feeling his arm wrap around her waist. He was still asleep, unconsciously cuddling up to her. She suppressed a shiver at the feel of his smooth, cool skin of his face pressed against her shoulder. He would probably hit her in the morning, accuse her of trying to insinuate herself where she didn't belong, trick him somehow. She'd learned to stop arguing with him about it. It didn't matter, though. She'd never willingly distance herself from him. It was worth the pain to have him hold her now, to know despite whatever he might tell her that he truly did want her near to him.

Very gently, so as not to wake him, she placed her hand over his where it was draped over her stomach.