This is written for the 'One Character Competition- Round Four' by the Cheeky Slytherin Lass on the HPFF.
Prompts Used: I had to use all of the following prompts in 100 words or more for whatever my heart desired: parchment, pillow, pale, pick, private, playful, and panic.
Word Count of the drabble itself: 376
Author's Note: I was so inspired by these prompts. Remus's life is so etched with heartbreak. It's such a shame, but so perfect to write.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series or the characters in it. All prompts were provided by the Cheeky Slytherin Lass.
Enjoy, and God Bless!
His pillow was stained with tears and his parchment was blotted with ink. He had started many sentences but none felt right. Nothing was flowing naturally. Nothing was coming to his mind that he could use as an appropriate apology. He stared grimly at himself in his mirror when he stood. He was pale; paler than usual. His eyes were sunken in with dark circles under them and his lips were pulled tight in a thin line. He was never too outgoing or playful, but this look wasn't suiting him in the slightest. Even though he wasn't much of a 'people person', he was at least warm and kind. He was a constant companion to his friends and he was always helpful. Within the private walls of his own home, he fell apart. He bursts open at the seams often, wishing he could change everything that had happened, but being unable.
Why hadn't he taken one look at her mousy brown hair and given in? Why had he walked out and left her in torture once more? He knew he shouldn't have attended a meeting one day after the full moon…He knew he would be irritable and tired.
He had yelled at her.
For the first time in his life he had truly raised his voice. When she had stopped him in the hallway, spilling her heart out to him, he had panicked. He wasn't enough for her. He could never be enough for her. He knew only old tricks; he knew a simple, beggar's life. He could never be everything that an intelligent, beautiful woman like her needed.
Beautiful.
She really was. She was gorgeous and he wasn't. She was the beauty and he was the beast. Why couldn't she realize that he knew no ways of being romantic? He knew no ways of caring for another human. Remus could hardly care for himself and his small flat. He was a friend- a good friend- to Sirius and the children. He was good at mentoring and good at caring. But Remus couldn't be good at loving. He couldn't be a boyfriend. It seemed preposterous to him; unheard of.
He couldn't learn new tricks. She knew that.
Why couldn't she just let a sleeping dog lie?
