The First Time [Jovin]

Authors Note: So here's my first ever Jonas fic it's slash to back away if you don't approve other than that i hope you enjoy it!

The first time you told him you loved him your heart almost stopped. You like to wax lyrical sometimes and imagine that your blood literally came to a stand-still under your skin.

You were watching one of those top one hundred lists on E! that you regularly TIVO and would cry real tears if anyone dared delete, your legs stretched out onto the coffee table in front of you. Joe was sitting in the same position to your right but with your arm wrapped around his shoulders, banging his Vans covered feet against your bare toes in any rhythm that popped into his head. You'd been contemplating it for about a month - telling him how you feel. You didn't plan on actually uttering the words 'you're my entire world', but it happened regardless.

You'd been having some serious disagreements with yourself over whether or not it was in your best interest to tell your little brother exactly how you felt about him, you'd been caught by familty members scowling at yourself and shaking your head at thin air on more than one occasion. It didn't make sense to tell him, you were very aware of how anybody outside of you and Joe would react upon seeing how close your relationship really was and you didn't see the point of bringing all the drama into it. For six months it had been just sex; there had been no arguments, no dates, nothing at all that would suggest that you were anything more than fuck buddies who shared a blood line.

You'd walked in on him in as he was leaving the shower one day and decided with suprising calm that you're little brother was definately turning into a very good looking man, you didn't even try to stop yourself when you brought yourself to a sweaty orgasm later that night thinking about his ass. You've always considered yourself to be the most open minded person you know, there is literally nothing that you're not okay with as long as nobody is getting hurt, the way you figure it people need to chill the fuck out and just go with their feelings more. It was just fantasising at first, you didn't want to hold him, you didn't want to make him feel safe, you simply wanted him riding your cock in the filthiest ways possible and that was it. You weren't exactly subtle about it though, it took you about a week to start flirting with him, you decided to rest your hand over his ass in the most obvious way you could. He didn't do anything at first, he just batted your hands away and called you a pervert, not realising that it wasn't just a friendly gesture so you started full on squeezing and groping him whenever your parents weren't looking.\par

Nick stopped hanging around with you because he was so afraid that you'd start copping a feel of his junk, those were his exact words to you. You always had the feeling that nick was also a little gay and that the real reason he avoided you was because he wanted you and wouldn't be able to stop himself from molesting you given half the chance. Those were you're exact words to him.

One day you grabbed the front of Joe's pants instead of your usual open palmed ass-groping, he was standing over by the dishwasher, loading up the dinner plates with his back turned to you. He had no idea that you were even standing behind him let alone that you had one hand rubbing over your cock and the other hand gripping at your mouth trying not to moan out loud for a full five minutes before you'd slid an arm around his waist and attached your mouth to his neck. You had no idea why you were suddenly touching Joe exactly how you'd been imagining but it felt so good to grind yourself into him that you didn't notice at first that his cock was even harder than yours. He later told you that he knew full well that you were jacking off behind him before you'd touched him, he'd seen you doing the same thing a week earlier, catching your reflection in the window and choosing to wait and see if you'd go further.

For those first few weeks, after you first touched him, you'd had an almost permanent erection caused entirely by Joe's choice of scandalous and revealing clothes that he'd wear whenever your parents were 'd smashed a glass when he'd sashayed into the lounge topless with only a tiny pair of gold hot pants on, hot pants which almost certainly were bought from the girls section of watever store he got them from. Whilst they wouldn't have fit you when you were 12 they were a second skin on Joe . He kept sneaking up behind you and sighing dramatically to get your attention, you'd turned around at one point to find him on his knees with his ass in the air and his torso shoved halfway under the couch muttering about a pen that he needed, it took everything you had to run from the room and not just stay there and fuck him.

You'd already threatened Frankie into keeping quiet about anything he saw when you were babysitting him, he was now convinced that there was a grey man sitting in his closet waiting to do whatever you told him and Nick was threatened with the exposure of his extensive porno collection that you knew was under his bed. He'd actually been lot smarter about hiding his magazines then you, he'd gone as far as cutting into his mattress, making a little pocket and using tiny bull clips to keep his handiwork hidden. You'd had the bright idea of just putting your smut staright under your mattress because you thought it would be such an obvious place that it was like a double bluff but you didn't count on your mom having the creativity of a pea. When she'd suspected after several early nights and more laundry from your room than usual that you were on the path to sin she'd gone straight for your bed as if she already knew, she'd even made sure you were in the room with her so you'd get the full amount of shame from the situation. Watching your mom waving around pictures of hardcore lesbianism while screeching about sinners and hell was something you've tried desperately to forget in the following years.

You had sex about three months after your first kiss, which was about a week after your first hand-job. Neither of you had any idea how to actually go about getting your respective appendages inside each other , you being older by a couple of years and having an extensive selection of gay porn videos on your laptop hard-drive had decided that you would be the one to initiate the first go . You had done nothing more that gotten Joe to get on his hands and knees like you'd seen in the movies, lined yourself up with his ass, held your breathe and pushed in. The first two seconds of penetration were silent on both yours and Joe end, by the third second you were furiously rubbing your cock and trying not cry at the current state of your bright red and extremely sore penis, Joe was going through the same process only with his ass instead. in two seconds you'd got off three thrusts, three extremely dry and painful thrusts. You tried again a week later and this time Joe was practically dripping with lubricant.

You were too frightened to buy actual lube, both because having to actually hand over a bottle of astroglide and pretend that you weren't using it for anal sex was too much to handle and also because your mom might get a little suspicious of her sons bed being covered in sticky clear fluid with the occasional white streak. You ended up at the counter with a squirty bottle of Vaseline and an elaborate story of the dry\par skin on your legs flaking off and causing much aggravation. The pink haired forty year old who served you listened to you awkwardly ramble on for about three minutes before shoving your purchase in your hand and almost yelling at you that she didn't care what you were using it for, just get out. She managed to shout at you with the same air of complete boredom and yet irrational anger at the same time. You'd pouted the entire way home and through most of the afternoon, Joe managed to cheer you up before dinner though, cornering you in the bathroom and making quick work of sucking you off. Your second attempt at getting laid, despite the stickiness that took a good four showers for each of you to finally scrape away, was amazing. You came harder than you ever had before and it was also the first night that you thought about maybe upgrading Joe from your secret fuck buddy to your secret boyfriend, the thought of anyone else making him cum like you did was a thought that almost made you want to commit murder. You never told him that you wanted him to be your boyfriend you bypassed it and went straight for,'I love you, I need you, take me.

Alex was the catalyst behind you finally spilling your feelings to Joe whilst he was loudly trying to figure out who'd be higher on the list of celebrity meltdowns between Britney or Lindsay. Alex was a pretty little flamer who had lived three doors downs from you for about five years at this point, him and Joe were the same age and if Joe wasn't getting hot and sweaty with you then he was to be found with Alex painting their nails like school girls and gossiping about who the latest broken heart belongs to or who's been throwing up after lunch everyday. There was not a single piece of embarrassing or private information that the pair of them didn't know about, at least sixty percent of the rumours going around your school could be traced back to either of them. You'd always been suspicious of Alex and his intentions towards your brother, he had been openly gay since you'd first met him yet he'd never tried anything on, Joe could bend over right in front of him and Alex would just stare at his shoes. This lack of attraction towards Joe from anybody confused you, you were his older brother and you couldn't help yourself from trying your hardest to make him cum, but Alex had several hundred opportunities to get Joe naked and had never took the bait.

Joe came stumbling into your room in the early hours one morning, drunk and giggling he laid himself spread eagled on top of you and proceeded to tell you how he and Alex had drank a small bottle of vodka and played truth or dare. He was hiccupping into your ear, too drunk to notice how tense you'd got at the words truth or dare. You'd played truth or dare a few times yourself and since you were eleven years old it has always escalated to sexual favours, you're fairly notorious to your friends for how quick you can get other people to strip off, you're probably a nudist really. Joe and Alex playing truth or dare with just the two of them is not something you want to hear about because you're positive that this would be the moment that Alex let his true feelings show. You weren't disappointed. Joe explained in great detail how Alex had given him a hand job and professed his love to your little brother. It was obvious to you that Joe didn't want to be single anymore, you'd tried your hardest to avoid the big emotional questions that hung over the two of you but this was something that you needed to deal with immediately, Alex was the first but he wouldn't be the last guy to try to get your little brother for themselves.

So that's why you did it, the constant arguments with yourself over your relationship was slowly driving you insane and knowing that Alex was trying to be the new you in Joes life was making your mind resemble a fight club but with only you and alex in attendace. so you sat on the couch with the remote in one hand and Joe wrapped around the other side of you and you uttered the words you were terrified would change your life forever. You weren't sure at first wether or not heard you the first time, you just lowered your head a little so your mouth was as close to his ear lobe as possible and after ten seconds let out the breathe you'd been holding in, as the warm air crossed his cheek so did the barely audible words

' I love you.'

You immediately regretted saying it, your eyes squeezed shut as soon as you opened your mouth but you couldn't bring yourself to even pull back from his face.

He didn't say anything for about a minute, he told you about a year later that for minute he could no longer even see the TV in front of him, he'd gone into complete sensory overload and almost dribbled on your hand apparently. You were convinced he was going to tell you that Alex was more his type and were trying to blink away the burning feeling in the bridge of your nose that's always a sure sign you're about boo it like a small child, all the while he was pulling every muscle in his face with the grin that was threatening to tear his entire face open with how intense it was. You were wondering what to do next , wether or not to laugh it off or start searching the local papers for a new home, when he said it back. The tears sitting on your lower lids waiting to run the course of your cheeks and neck made their escape whilst you stuffed a fist into your mouth to stop from cackling, neither of you looked at each other for the next hour and you didn't have sex until later that night, you just sat with equal sized grins pasted across your faces that neither could see and tried to act half normal whilst your heart almost burst out your chest with happiness.