White. There is no colour as pure as white. Or so I thought. I don't see the white you would call pure. I see the hue of many colours combined, swirling rapidly until they meet at one point. That point, oh, that immaculate point, is the brightest the intense shade could possible get. Or maybe that's just me...
I watch as the spiralling colours abruptly stop, causing my heart to do the same. My hands, my hands, they start to fade. They start to fade until there is nothing left of them. I look around I fear, hoping that there will be someone in this abyss that I have found myself in, but there is no one. I am alone.
I was always alone. With my own family, I was still alone. Nobody noticed. Nobody helped. Nobody cared.
I look away because I know the fading is spreading. It will not stop at my hands. I can feel the tingling sensation pulse through my arms as they disappear into the nothingness around me.
I shouldn't have thrown that party. I shouldn't have gone on the pier. I shouldn't have been born.
No.
I must not think of that. My life was good. My life was great if you could call it that. I graduated university recently. I graduated today. I was valedictorian.
My younger brother, Michael, convinced me to through a beach party. He wanted to hang around university graduates. I let him plan the party, and it was amazing. People actually showed up. People noticed me for the first time in years.
A group of students actually paid attention to me long enough to convince me to walk along the pier with them. It was fun, until...
I was leaning against the railing of the pier with my ex-classmates, and it broke. I didn't fall. I didn't fall, I was so lucky that I didn't fall. But Louisa did.
Louisa was the one girl in the group. She apparently 'learned to put up with the guys'. She was pretty. She was beautiful. I will never say that to her face. I will never see her face again.
I dove after her. I couldn't just let her fall. I wanted to be a hero for once.
I was so stupid. I could have let her fall, or let one of the guys save her, but I went after her anyways. I was never the strongest swimmer, I knew that. But I was able to save a dolphin trapped in garbage. I was in the news for that. Correction - the dolphin was in the news, I was not. The only mention of me was in fine print under the photo: 'Boy, Matthew, saves dolphin.'
I know I got Louisa to shore. I know I did. The last thing I heard was my brother shouting, asking if she was OK. She replied with a cough and a groan. He didn't notice me.
He didn't notice me! My own brother didn't even know I was in the water! And if he did, he didn't seem to care.
I try to stop that wretched memory from replaying in my head as a single tear falls down from my closed eyes onto my cheek.
There was no one there for me in life. There is no one here now.
A/N: Hey guys... -v- I'm writing my first Hetalia fanfic! I hope you like it! It's a birthday present from me to you, because it's my birthday. (I like giving things to people instead of receiving them on my b-day, even though my friends are too sweet and got me stuff anyways! Donc, bonne fete a moi et vous!)
WARNING:
I don't do accents, and I don't use Google Translate for French.
