The Mystical Realms of Europe: Escape from LA – Mewtwo Strikes Back: The Official Book of the Game of the Movie – Etrian Odyzzey X Shut up and Localise: Gaiden: EXE: LATE [duodecim]/2 Days: 4G Chapter 1 of the PAL-kun saga (featuring Dante from the Devil May Cry series™) & Knuckles
Warning:
The book you are about to read is canon.
The year is 2053. Localisation is dead.
"My name is PAL-kun. I am one of the last localisation stars alive.
In 2041, localisation was made illegal and almost all localisers were massacred in what was known as "The Great EU Purge". I lived, but I lost my reason for living. Europe was gone.
I live in the post-cyberpolcayptical ruins of Neo New London with my 12 year old son PEGI. I've given him all I can but sometimes I wonder if it's enough."
"Dad! Dad! Watch this!", PEGI said as he started writing down words in German, French, Italian, French and English. He took a potato crisp, and ATE IT. He tossed the pen up into the air and did a 1080 kickflip on his skateboard and caught the pen and wrote another word, 'crumpet'.
"Impressive, PEGI. Your language has gotten much better in the past few weeks".
"That's Dante, the demon killer (has a nice ring don't you think?). He doesn't like to talk about himself, but he's a good guy."
"Right dad? I've gotten better, huh dad? Dad?"
"Huh? Oh, uh. Yeah. Yeah, you've gotten a lot better, son."
"What's the matter dad?"
"Nothing, PEGI. I was just... Just thinking."
"Thinking about localisation, huh?"
"Yeah, that's it... I was thinking about localisation... PEGI why don't you go draw some mapcons? I want to speak with Mr. Demon Killer for a moment."
"Sure dad. Thanks for the localisation tips and dictionary scrolls, Mr Demon Killer"
"No swear, kid. Keep on practising though."
"Sure will!"
PEGI walks into the next room and Dante turns to PAL-kun.
"You were thinking about her again, weren't you PAL-kun?"
"Hmm?", PAL-kun murmured under his breath, as waking from a distant dream.
"50Hz. You were thinking about 50Hz, weren't you?"
"He reminds me so much of her. The way he moves, his 1/5th of a slowness of 60 refreshes per second, his colour..." he stops and looks down at the ground, clenching his fist.
Dante puts his arm on his shoulder, "you still blame yourself for what happened."
PAL-kun looks up and looks Dante right in the eyes.
"Yeah, Dante. Yeah I do. And it won't happen ever again. I... I just can't stand knowing that all of this... everythng... could be different."
"PAL-kun... you don't need to..."
"Yeah, Dante... I know, but I swear on her grave that nobody will ever suffer a Chaos Localisation again..."
"Neo New London is a base and disgusting city. Where the strong bully the weak for what few neo-shillings they've got. Crime is everywhere, weariness and desbear behind every corner."
Suddenly the television in PAL-kun's house lights up.
"Breaking news just in! A killing spree has been reported..."
PEGI runs back in from the other room and they all stare at the TV wide eyed and curious.
"The cloaked demon slayer, known only as "FUCK YOU" has struck again, this time killing two games in the NNL Shopping Centre. Police reported signs of language use and FUCK YOU is believed to have connections with the terrorist organisation A.T.L.U.S"
PAL-kun clenches is fist even harder still.
"Crime everywhere... This city is going to hell. PEGI, I don't want you going outside tonight."
PEGI signs loudly and grunts. But Dante starts to walk away, he turns his head around.
"I... I have to leave now..."
"Okay, bye Mr Demon Killer!"
"Goodbye PEGI"
But as Dante is about to walk out the door, a mysterious figure in a long trench coat and fedora walks in. Dante turns towards him, "Mr Hardin..."
Hardin looks back, "Mr Demon Killer"
Hardin continues walking into the room and walks straight up to PAL-kun and moves his head into his face. PAL-kun moves backwards in shock, looking agitated. "Hardin... What are you doing here..."
Hardin lightly chuckles to himself.
"That's a nice way to greet a friend, PAL-kun. Heh, I was just in the neighbourhood and I thought I heard some... localising."
"You have absolutely no grounds to come into this house, John. You know that."
"Really now? You WERE an all-star localisationer and I heard some localising. I have every right to come in thanks to the 5in1 Confiscation Act. Or are you saying I don't have that right?"
"I'm SAYING you're a son of a bitch Hardin!"
"PUPUPUPUPUPUPU! I'll play your game then PAL-kun. This time... Oh but PEGI..."
"Yeah?"
"Keep practising"
Hardin flicks his coat backwards in a stylish manner as he turns around and leaves through the front door again. PAL-kun breaks the awkward silence that Hardin had created. "PEGI, I'm going out for a bit."
"You okay dad?"
"Yeah I'm okay"
PEGI walks out the door. He looks at his hand drawn map and draws some more notes. "Ah, my collection of maps. At least map drawing wasn't outlawed" PEGI thought to himself. It reminded him of the days when he could play Etrian Odyssey, the good old days. Though most are useless now after The Great EU Purge of 41.
"Hey PAL-kun!", the police officer said to PAL-kun as he walked out the door. "I heard you yelling at Inspector Hardin."
"That son of a bitch... He was the first PR guy to join the Localisation Removal Department."
"Yeah... I remember when you EUers used to look up to him. But then... then he became a monster"
"Maybe... maybe I became the monster..."
"Huh what was that PAL-kun?"
"Oh it is nothing... Nothing"
PAL-kun continued walking down the street as he shunned his face in shame from the officer. But as he arrived in the market place area in Neo New London, he heard a preacher talking to passersby.
"You ever hear about the Chaos Localisation? They say it is as powerful as all the langauges spoken in Europe and has the same impact as a nuclear blast and the only man ever capable of performing one was PAL-kun. It was the reason locaisation of games was banned which ultimately led to the death of Europe. We should not be worried about this threat of 'FUCK YOU', we should be worried about PAL-kun! He is the real threat. Why did he not die in The Great Local Purge?!"
PAL-kun shrugged it off. He wasn't really feeling it.
As he walked passed the old TV store, he saw a TV with people gathered around it. A news report glaring.
"Oh... Oh my GOD. Neo New Berlin... has just been completely destroyed. 5 million people are expected to be dead. Holy fuck this is the most awful thing I've seen in my entie life...
...we have reports that it was ANOTHER CHAOS LOCALISATION!"
The people around the TV audibly gasp.
"If this is a Chaos Localisation... this means the only person alive who could have done it is PAL-kun. HE IS THE ONLY HUMAN ALIVE CAPABLE OF PERFORMING A CHAOS LOCALISATION!"
PAL-kun starts running, if people saw him now he'd be lynched on the streets. But, he knew he didn't do the Chaos Localisation, he was just out and about minding his own business.
He got back to his place, there was armed officiers surrounding it.
"COME OUT PAL-KUN"
It was Officer Hardin shouting. PAL-kun would recognise his voice anywhere. Before PAL-kun had a chance to hide, an armed officer got up behind him, quickly alerting the others to follow suit and surround PAL-kun. Hardin begins walking over.
"PAL-kun, you are under arrest for performing a Chaos Localisation, and kiiling 5 million people and associating yourself with the deadly terrorist group A.T.L.U.S. Give yourself up or we will be forced to elminate you".
PAL-kun, stumbles backwards, arms in the air.
"Wh-what? What's going on? You know it was not me. Do you know how long it would take to get to Neo New Berlin?" PAL-kun takes a second to think, realising he does not know where his son is. "Where's PEGI?!"
"I just said you are under arrested for performing a Chaos Localisation"
"But I swear it wasn't me! I swore never to perform another, I even forgot the 5in1 languages!"
"Bullshit PAL-kun. I gave you time. I gave you time to get over the Chaos Localisation. I let you moan over the death of 50Hz. I even threw you a bone and gave you SMT4!"
"BUT SMT4 WAS JUST THE BASTARDISED AMERICAN ENGLISH VERSION"
"But I guess it wasn't enough for you, was it? I thought you'd stop, you got a kid PAL-kun. Think of PEGI? Men, executre this man!"
"You son of a bitch, Hardin!"
