"Ambivalence is a state of having simultaneous conflicting reactions, beliefs, or feelings towards some object. Stated another way,ambivalence is the experience of having an attitude towards someone or something that contains both positively and negatively valenced components."

Firstfall 9:29 Dragon

Brienne knew that her promotion was on the horizon, it was so close she could practically taste it on the tip of her tongue. She was a good Templar, no, she was a great Templar and she knew it. The young woman prided herself in her professionalism and the respect she had worked so hard to gain from both the Mages and her fellow Templars. While some Templars didn't focus on being polite and respectful to their charges, she found it of utmost importance, if the mages respected her, the mages would be more likely to listen to her and do as she asked. Though she was polite, she was never overly friendly, there were boundaries that couldn't be crossed, while she was there to listen and acknowledge problems that mages had she never went further than that. Professionalism was essential if one didn't want to end up like Cullen, one of her underlings who was clearly infatuated which Apprentice Amell. While Brienne didn't think it was her duty to interfere with Cullen's personal life (feelings for a mage had never done any harm, it was only if it progressed to a mutual relationship that it became a problem), that didn't mean she approved, she found it very unprofessional but was happy to see that he was respectful towards the mages at all. It was a good sign.

That morning at breakfast, she had been asked to attend a meeting with the Knight-Commander and she couldn't help the satisfied smirk that made its way onto her lips. Knight-Captain Brienne, she could sense it, today was the day. One of the other Templars, Ser Katherine was sitting beside her and chewing thoughtfully on a cube of cheese.

"You think you're getting promoted, Brienne?" She asked. Katherine was a well natured woman with blonde hair and blue eyes, most people were surprised to discover she was a Templar, saying that she didn't seem the type. Brienne disagreed completely, Katherine was strong willed and a skilled fighter, a perfect candidate.

The Templar sitting across from them scoffed, "Brienne has been saying that for months and here she is, still sitting with us."

Brienne scowled, she didn't like Ser Eddard very much. He was much too brash towards both his fellows and the mages which set Brienne in a state of unease. Unfortunately most of the Templars leaned more towards his temperament and less towards that of her, Katherine and sometimes Cullen. On all accounts the young woman would have preferred the company of lovesick ninnies to that of a pompous arse like Eddard, respect the mages and the mages respect you, simple as that.

"I have a good track record, Ser Eddard, my promotion will come soon. Yours will not, all in all, it's more likely that Ser Cullen will become Knight-Commander before you even reach Knight-Lieutenant."

Eddard spluttered, "Ser Cullen?! Are you insane Brienne? He's far too sympathetic, can you trust him to do his duty when the time comes? If Apprentice Amell becomes an abomination do you think he could kill her?"

Brienne crosses her arms, "yes."

Katherine nodded, "I agree. While Cullen is very protective of Amell I don't doubt that he would do what is necessary. He's a good Templar."

Eddard snorted, "Fine. But I still don't think Brienne is getting promoted today. Ser Hadley is Knight-Captain, we don't need another one."

Brienne stood from the table, "you shall have an answer within the hour. We will speak later, Ser Katherine, farewell."

Katherine nodded and Brienne turned on her heel. She began walking towards the Knight-Commander's office, her armour clanking loudly, she remembered when she found her armour cumbersome and heavy, but now it was familiar and when she was without it she felt she could drift off into the sky, she felt uncomfortably weightless. Many of the mages she walked past shot her a friendly smile or a polite wave, all of which she returned with a curt nod, nothing more, nothing less. It was all about moderation. One of the main reasons she was so hopeful about being promoted was because one day, one glorious day, she would become Knight-Commander, she knew it and on that day the Circle Tower at Kinloch Hold would be run the way she wanted it to. Templars like Ser Eddard would be disciplined, perhaps even refused a position. Templars like Ser Katherine or Cullen would be promoted, Hadley would probably be allowed to keep his position, he was a decent man, respectable. Oh Maker, that day couldn't come soon enough. With a soft smile on her lips, Ser Brienne pushed open the doors to Knight-Commander Greagoir's office and found him sitting as his desk, First-Enchanter Irving was facing the far wall, arms crossed and mumbling to himself.

Greagoir grinned, "Ah, Knight-Lieutenant Brienne, punctual as always."

She thumped her fist against her chest, "Knight-Commander."

"I suppose you're wondering why you have been summoned here today." Greagoir said while shuffling through some papers on his desk, "I have a very important retrieval mission, one I'm sure can only be completed by a Templar such as yourself."

Brienne's heart fluttered. Today was the day, she would be Knight-Captain Brienne, "I am always willing to serve the Order, Knight-Commander."

"Good." Greagoir said with a smile, "We have an escaped mage on our hands, as far as we know he's been missing three days at the most and we sent for his phylactery last night."

Brienne's good mood plummeted, she knew what was coming, "If this mage is who I think it is…"

"It's Anders."

The Templar muttered several obscenities under her breath, this was the fourth time she had been sent to retrieve that damned mage, fourth! While she always tried to maintain her professionalism around the mages and was always polite as possible. Anders had a habit of bringing out the worst in her, he was…frustrating and much too talkative for her tastes. For some odd reason, he had taken a liking to her.

"Couldn't you send someone else, Knight-Commander?" Brienne asked, trying her best to keep a level tone.

Greagoir shook his head, "The mages respect you, Brienne. You are our best choice."

"The mages respect other Templars as well, I'm not the only one. Why not send Knight-Captain Hadley? Or Ser Katherine, maybe even Ser Cullen?"

"You know that Anders only complies when we send you. No one else will do, Knight- Lieutenant."

Brienne couldn't help crossing her arms, "You managed to retrieve him without my help the first two times."

"But not without great difficulty." First Enchanter Irving contributed, "Anders won't fight you, Ser Brienne, we're not sure why, but it isn't an advantage we're just going to let slip by."

Greagoir nodded, "We need him back as soon as possible, and you will leave as soon as we acquire his phylactery. Gather your things. Good day, Knight-Lieutenant."

Brienne nodded firmly, trying her best not to express the anger bubbling inside her, "Until then, Knight-Commander"

She was furious. She knew that she shouldn't have been, by all rights this should have been an honour, but it wasn't. What drove Brienne up the wall about this whole situation wasn't just that Anders was insufferable but also that she knew the only reason she had been assigned to retrieve him was because he fancied her. This mission was not a merit of her talents or of her outstanding work ethic, no, it was because the mage in question fancied her. The Templar was absolutely livid as she stormed her way to her quarters, quietly grumbling to herself, one or two of her colleagues asked if she was alright and she tossed a quick, "I'm fine." In their directions and continued walking.

Katherine was waiting outside Brienne's room, leaning against the wood frame of the door, arms crossed, eyebrows raised.

"Didn't go as well as you'd hoped?"

"No. it didn't." Brienne said with a sigh, "I need to get a pack ready, I'll be leaving any day now."

"Oh no, not Anders again?" Katherine said, a sympathetic look on her face.

"Yes, Anders again. It's always Anders again." The Templar massaged her temples, "Tell me, Ser Katherine. Do you think that I'm a good Templar?"

Katherine blinked, "You're my superior, Knight-Lieutenant. You must be a good Templar to obtain such a position."

"That's not what I mean, Katherine. I know that I'm only sent to chase after that Mage because he finds me… intriguing I think is the word he used last time. Do you think the Knight-Commander would have any use for me if Anders changed his mind?"

The blonde scoffed, "You are respectful, professional, punctual, determined and a skilled fighter. The penultimate Templar." She smiled, "You're good at your job. Now go get ready to chase your admirer."

Brienne cringed.


Anders' phylactery arrived the next morning and Brienne was provided with a horse to make her journey easier, and more to the point, faster. The mage was heading in the direction of Denerim which he hadn't done before, usually he made his way towards the Storm Coast or the Korcari Wilds. Whatever plan the mage had didn't bother Brienne in the least, it was her job to find him and bring him back as efficiently as possible, regardless of where he was headed. Luckily it only took a week of brisk riding to reach the capital city, for a moment the Templar feared that Anders had somehow managed to barter passage out of Ferelden in the time it took her to reach him, but the phylactery said otherwise. Relief filled Brienne immediately, this would be a relatively easy journey, as annoying as a seven day horse-ride with Anders would be, the Imperial highway would lead them directly back to the tower from Denerim, no faffing about and getting lost in forests like that one time when Anders made his way into the wilds, not only did she have to deal with his irksome comments, but wolves and bears as well, it was delightful. This time it would be much less painful and she thanked the Maker for that.

After guiding the horse to a nearby stable and tying him up for the night, Brienne began following the phylactery around the city, sighing irritably when she found herself standing in front of the Pearl.

"A brothel." She muttered to herself, "Of course it's a brothel, how charming."

With a disgruntled expression she made her way over to the building and pushed the door open, unfazed by the shocked looks the other patrons were giving her full Templar armour. Her blue eyes immediately locked on the figure attempting to blend in on the far side of the room, his circle robes and feathered pauldrons causing him to fail miserably. He was sitting across from a dark skinned woman who was smiling up at him, her chin rested in the palm of her hand. Brienne grumbled to herself and stepped towards him, unable to resist the urge to cross her arms.

"Anders."

The woman scurried away quickly and the mage looked up at her with a scowl, but much to her displeasure his lips slowly turned up into a smirk, "Brienne! I was hoping it would be you, it's always you isn't? One might think you have a fondness for me."

"The order dictates-" She began while massaging her temples, but didn't have to finish because Anders' hands were already flung out in front of her, she cocked a brow.

"What?" He said, "You've already caught me. And who am I to deny a beautiful woman's urge to slap me in chains?"

Brienne groaned and pulled out a set of manacles, quickly fastening them around his wrists, "Very funny. Almost as funny as when you said it last time."

"Oh come on, it's not exactly what I said last time." Anders said with a pout that reminded Brienne of a kicked puppy. She didn't like it.

"Same basic principle." She pulled Anders to his feet, "We're going to the Gnawed Noble and I'm booking a room for the night, I need rest before we head back to the tower come morning."

Anders leered, "only one room? I'm sorry, Ser Brienne, but couldn't you at least take me to dinner first?"

She frowned, "I will be sleeping on the floor. The bed is yours."

As she began ushering him back out the front door, the woman who had been sitting with him earlier shot him a wink.

"I hope to see you again someday, sparky."

Anders smirked at her, "Don't miss me too much."

Brienne almost didn't want to ask, but curiosity got the better of her, "sparky?"

"I can do this thing with lightning, drives the ladies mad." He wiggled his eyebrows, "Would you like a demonstration?"

Brienne visibly reddened, "Definitely not."