Tobi stood in
front of the mirror, making sure his orange mask was nice and shiny.
He looked at his hair. Hmmmm.... He found a bottle of hair gel,
probably Hidan's, or Deidara's, or... Itachi's... He hesitated, then
decided this was worth the risk and started putting globs of the gel
on his hair, he tried to smooth his hair back, but it sproinged right
back up. Oh well, it doesn't matter if my hair spikes up... He
smiled proudly. Today, he was going to practice his great skills of
reporting on his fellow Akatsuki members. He walked out of his room,
trying his best to look like a news reporter. He saw Deidara walking
near. he ran up, trying to act his best.
"What's going on,
hmmm?" Asked Deidara, he stared at the microphone.
"Why
do you like to blow things up so much, sir?" Tobi asked, shoving
the microphone in Deidara's face.
"Ow! What do you think
you're doing, hmm?!" Deidara yelled as Tobi hit him in the nose
with the mic.
"I am news reporting." Tobi said
casually.
Deidara rolled his eyes. "Well, you have a great
skill of talking..."
Tobi had a gleam of pride in his
eye.
"Nonstop annoyingly, hmmm..." Deidara said,
finishing his sentence.
"...You never answered my
question..."
"I'LL BLOW YOU UP IF YOU WON'T LEAVE
HERE IN 5, 4, 3, 2-"
"AAGGHHHH!!!!" Tobi ran out of
the room, leaving Deidara smirking.
Tobi decided to visit Hidan
next, randomly. Boy did he regret that afterwards. He walked into the
room.
"Sir, why do you happen to have greyish silver hair?
Are you old?" Tobi asked.
Hidan stared at Tobi, as if he
asked him why he had skin. His staring, turned to extreme anger.
"OF
COURSE I'M NOT OLD YOU GOD DAMN IDIOTIC FUCKING LOWLIFE!!! I AM THE
MOST FUCKING HANDSOMEST GUY AROUND, AND AM NOT FUCKING OLD!!!"
Hidan yelled angrily. This was actually his most politest way of
saying "I am not elderly".
"Okay...." Tobi
walked out of the room, disturbed.
Hmmmm... Zetsu next...
He
walked in to find the room being entirely green, and plants growing
everywhere.
"Why do you enjoy eating people, sir?" Tobi
asked, in a proffesional way.
"Oh, hi Tobi, and what...?"
"Why are you canni.. cannib... canni-something."
"You
mean cannibal?"
"Yeahhhh."
"Why
ask?"
"Cause I wanna be a news reporter, and I have to
start my career, by reporting on you guys first!" Tobi
explained.
"Well, you can't be in the Akatsuki if you'll be
telling the whole world about it you idiot!" Zetsu's dark side
spoke up all of a sudden.
"B-but..."
"No buts
you brat!" Zetsu's dark side yelled at Tobi.
"I don't
see anything wrong with it though..." Said the light side of
Zetsu.
"Wrong with-what?!! You idiot! Are you blind?!"
Dark Zetsu yelled at his other personality.
Tobi sighed. Zetsu is
so indecisive sometimes.
Tobi walked out of the room, clutching
his microphone tightly, leaving Zetsu to argue with himself.
He
opened Itachi's door, and saw Itachi brushing his hair in front of
the mirror, and saw him applying hair gloss to his black, shiny
hair.
"What is the secret behind your shiny hair do?"
Tobi asked all of a sudden, making Itachi jump and turn
around.
"OUT!"
"But wh-"
"OUT!"
"But
I-"
"OUT!"
"But-"
"OUT!"
Tobi
walked out, head down.
He snuck into Sasori's room.
Puppets
everywhere, and he saw Sasori sitting on a chair in the
corner.
Sasori glared at him, annoyed.
"Why do you dare to
trespass?" Sasori asked in a dark voice.
"Hey, I should
be the one asking questions, not y-"
"OUT!"
"Hey,
this is funny, Itachi said the same thi-"
"OR I WILL GUT
YOU AND TURN YOU INTO A PUPPET."
"He didn't say
that..."
Sasori glared at Tobi menacingly.
Tobi walked out
slowly, as if a single sound would bring himself death.
He went
into the next room, which happened to be Kakuzu's room.
"Why
are you a bounty hunter... Sir?" Tobi dared, to add that at the
end.
Kakuzu turned his head to Tobi. "Because it makes me a
big loada money." He said matter-a-factly.
Tobi stood there,
his mouth wide open in shock. (but Kakuzu couldn't really tell he had
his mouth wide open, cause Tobi's wearing a mask)
"Someone
actually answered..."
"Whuh?"
"Nothing..."
"Well,
don't talk to yourself like that, it creeps me out when I see others
doing that, thats why I keep a distance from Zetsu."
"Uhhhh,
why, do you cover your face with that mask?"
"Why do
you?"
"I dunno." Tobi shrugged.
"Would you
want to see my face?"
Tobi thought for a moment and
answered,"Ummm, no thanks."
"Exactly."
Tobi
was wondering why Kakuzu actually seemed to be in a good mood for
once. Maybe it was because Zetsu was faraway and busy?
"Why
do you seem to be in a rare, good mood?" Tobi dared to
ask.
"Heck, I won a freak'n lottery ticket. LOOK!"
Kakuzu shoved it in Tobi's face (or mask).
"I won 10 DOLLARS!
10! This is the first time I ever won this much with a lottery
ticket!" Kakuzu said, babbling on about how great the lottery
ticket was.
Tobi sneaked out of the room.
He faced Kisame's
room. Was that fish he smelled? Nah, just in his mind. He opened the
door, revealing piles of fish, everywhere, in Kisame's BLUE
room.
Kisame was sitting on his blue couch, feasting on a
salmon.
"Why are you colored blue?"Tobi said, holding up
the mic. to Kisame.
"Mrphmphmmmg." Kisame said with a
mouth full of meaty fish.
".......Whaaaaat..?"
Kisame
swallowed his mouthful of fish. "Really? Do I really look that
depressed?"
"No, I mean your skin."
"What's
wrong with my skin? Can't I walk around with blue colored skin? And
why do people always think that this happened because of that one
stupid T-shirt Tie-dye contest?! Yes, getting blue dye dumped on me
didn't help my blueness of color, but thats not why I'm blue! I was
BORN blue! You read me?"
Tobi cocked his head. "I don't
see any words on you, so how can I read you?"
Kisame
grunted, continuing to eat his supply of delicious raw fish.
He
wandered down the hallway. His career as a news reporter looked
pretty down by now. There were only two rooms left. Konan's and
Pein's.
He walked up to Konan's room first, and knocked on the
door. He decided to knock first, thinking it was rude to barge in. He
should be polite to women. Besides, Tobi is a good boy. Konan opened
the door a bit, and when she saw it was Tobi, she slammed the door
shut. Tobi stood there for a few seconds, stunned. What did I do
wrong? I was polite, no? He thought.
He walked around the
corner, until there was the leader, Pein's room. he barged in. He saw
Pein, sitting at his desk, with his hands folded.
"What is it
now, Tobi?" Pein said with an annoyed tone.
"I'm gonna
be a news reporter!" Tobi told Pein happily.
"And... Why
did you come here...?"
"How did you become
leader?"
"What?"
"How did you beco-"
"I
can't tell you that!" Pein said, anger rising in his voice.
"How
did you beco-"
"OUT!"
"Wow! So far, three
people have said that to me toda-"
Pein looked angry, and
slowly spoke to Tobi. "Out. Or else, you shall suffer
greatly."
Tobi stood there for a few seconds, until he saw
Pein stand up. Tobi ran out of the room, arms in the air, yelling.
He
walked across the hallway.
"I guess this news reporter stuff
was never meant to be..." He said to himself.
He threw the
microphone in the trash and found Itachi walking toward him.
"Oh,
hi Itachi!"
Itachi glared at him. Not just a regular Itachi
glare, the kind of 'I hate your stink'n guts you retarded idiot
glare'.
"What wrong Itachi?"
"I found my bottle
of hair gel empty..."
"Oh, yeah, that? Uhh, sorry about
that... I kinda needed to use it..." Tobi stuttered.
-The
Next Week-
"Why is Tobi just lying there on the ground,
unconscious, hmmm?" Asked Deidara.
"Beats me, maybe
Itachi got mad at him, and used his Mangekyo?" Replied
Sasori.
"Doesn't surprise me, hmmm."
"I wonder
what he did that would make Itachi lose his cool...?"
