It has happened countless times before, but this time Regina can tell it's different. There's something in the way she feels after that dream with him. She still can feel the taste of his lips on hers, can sense his scent vividly, and continues enjoying his warmth, even when she knows she is alone in a cold cell.
However, what surprises her the most, is the object she's holding in her hand: a feather. And it isn't about the feather itself because somewhere after Robin's death, and since she realized Zelena had zero interest in finding the feather Roland left for her, the one that was Robin's, she began collecting them.
Up to now, she can't identify exactly the reason behind this habit, but it has always relieved her in moments in which loneliness, longing or sadness invaded her heart, mind, and soul. For years, she doesn't want to know for certain how many, this has been the way she found to cope with the anger and profound sadness Robin's death left in her.
Regina began collecting feathers in Storybrooke. She arranged them in sketchbooks, and -as if she were an entomologist collecting bugs- each feather that came to be part of her collection had the indication of the place, date and a brief outline of the circumstances in which she obtained it.
This habit remained with her when she decided to join Henry in that new realm, it stuck with her during the time she and Dr. Facilier had been together; and, even though in Hyperion Heights, in her cursed persona, she continued her collection, albeit she didn't know exactly why she was doing it. Still, she can tell that this habit made her feel better, more relaxed and it always brought her a sense of being accompanied by someone.
She enjoys going over her collection from time to time, reading the summary of each feather, and trying to recall the exact moment and circumstances when it appeared. On some occasions, she spotted those feathers, sometimes at plain sight; but other times, it seemed they appeared by magic because she discovered them in places accessible only to her: inside a drawer in her nightstand, by her toothbrush in her bathroom, inside a pocket in a coat, inside Henry's book (and then, in Lucy's), inside her purse…
Therefore, it isn't that when she opens her eyes, the first thing she sees is she has a feather in her hand, the one Robin gave her in that dream; neither, that it appeared as by art of magic and she doesn't remember having it before. All those things have happened before to her.
This time, it's that the feather is different. It has a special glow and a very particular shade of bright red, or is it a dark orange? and each time she touches it she feels him through the feather: she feels his presence, he can smell him and sense his warmth as if he were by her side.
Regina knows that she's in no position to be emotional. She is in a complicated situation, locked in a cell by a version of her own son that wants her dead but, still, she can't get Robin and that dream out of her head.
And, she even isn't sure if it was a dream? Over the years, she has dreamt with Robin more times than she would consider healthy and have had dreams of all types. From those terrifying nightmares that relive his death, one time after another, and that make her wake up sweating, crying and afraid; to more pleasant dreams, those where she goes through the brief, yet intense, happy moments she shared with him. And, her favorite ones in which she remembers what making love to him was like, even though she wakes up agitated and sexually frustrated.
But this time it feels different, and she is aware of it. It doesn't feel like a dream, it's more like a memory. It's complicated, and she can't figure out why she is experiencing this in a moment where she needs to be focused, with her five senses and magic on alert.
And that's precisely why she misses, at first, all the signals that those two guards are no other than David and Mary Margaret coming to her rescue. Her mind is elsewhere, well actually in a tavern, and she realizes that dream opened some doors she closed some time ago.
Regina still has the feather inside a pocket of her pants, and from time to time she touches it gently. She feels its softness, senses in her fingers each filament that composes it, and begins feeling him again, his presence, she can smell him, and if she closes her eyes she's sure he's there…. But, he isn't. She thinks she has lost her mind and that the curse that took them to Hyperion Heights, affected her sanity because never before since his death, she has felt him so alive.
She overcomes this uneasiness, and on her way to help her friends, she gets into a fight with the wish version of her son. It's exhausting, not only physically but emotionally. She finds the boy is so much like her younger self, and that scares her.
When she arrives where her friends and adult son are, she finds what has happened, minutes before she arrived, she's devastated. She finds her mentor dead. And, it's just too much having to deal with a troubled heart after that dream, just to find another man that has been important in her life, dead.
She thinks it's an irony that the man that had taught her magic, with the sole purpose of hurting others, and that had manipulated her over the years to make her think that to cast a curse was about her, when all the time it had been about him, gets to teach her the last lesson. This time, that lesson is about sacrifice, about making the right choices, not because of a reward, but because it's just the right thing to do.
It seems Rumple, Gold, Weaver, whatever the name she chooses to call him, has saved the day, and as he lies dead on the cold floor and she kisses his forehead, she hopes he is now with his Belle, enjoying their eternal bliss.
It appears that there's calm after the storm, and now that the curse that would have doomed all of them to separated and isolated lives is broken, Regina, finally, gets to have some time for herself to think about the last events. She knows that her visit to the Wish Realm will be over soon, and the time to say goodbye will come. And as she thinks about farewells, she takes the feather from her pocket, caresses it, looks at it, and notices that it's different from the last time she saw it, some hours ago. It has another shade of red, or was it orange?
She doesn't think of this twice and instead decides that as soon as she gets home (wherever it is this time) she'll make this feather part of her collection and begins to write a draft of the circumstances in which that feather appeared. She senses him again. She stops writing and even turns around because she has that odd feeling that someone is observing her, but there's no one.
She tries to focus again on the fact that she will be leaving soon, and doesn't know if she will see the wish version of her son again. Even though she isn't the one who raised him, she can't help the feeling that she is about to say goodbye to her son forever.
She struggles to concentrate, but her mind doesn't allow her and begins thinking again in the dream she had …yes, the one that didn't feel like a dream, at all.
And as her mind wanders from the dream to reality, from one realm to another one, from one version of her son or even of herself to different versions of them, she has an idea, an extraordinarily ambitious one. One that if works will make traveling to another realm no problem anymore. No need to use portals or cast any curse.
####
Regina starts working right away in the colossal task of uniting all the realms and, to be honest, it's not the first time she has thought about something like this. She has conceived this theory since she realized Roland was in another realm with no chance to come back, but she didn't know how to cast a curse like that then, and now she might have an idea. She owes this to Robin and, although the many years that have passed, she hasn't forgotten about it.
It seems she discovered the missing piece. Well, in fact, there are several ones, a little something from all the people she loves, and that love her back.
It takes more time than what she thought …and a lot of space to keep the things she collects.
It surprises her, it really does, when she begins to look at all the enormous number of objects that belong to people she cares about, and that willingly offered something of substantial value for each of them. Entirely the opposite way in which she collected the items she needed from those villains to enact the Dark Curse, she doesn't know how many years ago.
She looks amazed at Tiana's beignet recipe, David's sheriff badge, Emma's baby blanket, Wish Hook's and Alice's chess pieces, Ella's crystal shoe, young Henry's lunchbox, Lucy's ballet slippers…
It's almost time to cast this curse, and she needs to add the objects all at once to enact it, just as she did with the Dark Curse. However, this curse, never cast before, is somehow the antithesis of the original one, and these objects replace the heart of the thing you love most by becoming those who love you.
It's only one thing left for Regina to figure out: the object that belongs to her. After hours of thinking and changing her mind about which item is the one that defines best who she is, Regina decides it's her feather collection, with its latest addition: the feather Robin gave her in that dream (that she is certain has continued to change its colors).
Those hundreds of feathers, of contrasting colors, sizes and textures, represent the amalgam of emotions that makes Regina Mills who she is. And, she figured out, not so long ago, that she needed to include something of hers, as well, because, after years of struggle, she reached a point where she loves herself.
She goes over her collection one last time, reading each summary with the utmost concentration, and emotion gets over her each time she relives the circumstances in which a particular feather came to be part of her collection.
She turns the pages eagerly until she gets to the last one where the most recent feather of her collection lies still. It seems it is now a little darker than the last time she saw it. It's a dark red, maybe burgundy, even. She knows this is the last time she'll enjoy the feelings her collection brings her and begins touching the feather gently. She senses Robin again, realizing that it's the last time and that she is not ready to let the little she has from him go. She closes her eyes and practically can hear his voice I'm here … I always had …and with it she enjoys the warmth of his hand on her chest, just as she did in that dream.
It's difficult for her to get rid of something of such value to her, and she comes back and forth with her decision, even thinks of adding another object of hers …she's just a human being after all.
But then she thinks that if Emma can give away her baby blanket and Ruby, her red cloak, she can offer her precious feather collection for a noble cause.
#######
The curse proves to be a success. This time everyone keeps their memories, which sometimes is not that good, at least for Regina who constantly remembers her last dream with Robin and realizes it was nothing but it.
At that thought, as by mere instinct, she thinks about looking at her collection of feathers, but she remembers she has it no more.
Anxiety inundates her. She knew this would happen, and needs to calm down. So, she closes her eyes, breathes slowly, deeply, rhythmically, and when she's ready, she opens her eyes only to find Robin standing in front of her in the same attire as in that odd dream.
Regina looks at the figure standing across from her in absolute disbelief. She thinks her mind is playing tricks with her again or that this is just another dream, and as her eyes are clouded with tears, she asks "Robin? Is this another dream?"
Robin comes closer to her and when he is only inches apart, he caresses her cheek and gazing directly into her eyes, he answers "This is not a dream, neither the one at the tavern. I know you have wondered about it all these weeks."
And, before Regina can say something, Robin takes her hand in his and gives something to her. "I think you were missing this."
She opens her hand and there it is, the feather he gave her. She merely touches it whispering "How is this possible? How are you here? You're dead. You have been for years. And, now it appears it wasn't even a dream? This feather …I gave it away with the other ones to cast this curse. How do you have it?"
Regina turns back and walks away from Robin, takes her head in her hands and says "I'm losing my mind. You're not real! Just …please, go….I learned to live without you."
Robin follows her, takes her in his arms as he whispers "Regina calm down, please. Let me explain. But, this is true."
"I had decades to figure this out. I said I was gone, not present anymore, away, lost and that is the truth. But I was never dead," begins Robin.
Robin explains that Hades didn't kill him, but instead cursed him, dooming him to a life alone. It seems he was transported to that tavern where he stayed all those years, waiting for someone to break the curse.
Regina listens with attention to Robin's story. He tells her their connection as soulmates was the clue all the time, and Hades hadn't counted on it. He shares with her that after his life in that tavern began, he managed to perceive her. He knew when she was sad, happy, nostalgic, angry …and he began using those feathers as a tool to be closer to her. A tree outside the tavern, where birds came to rest, had been the perfect source of feathers, and at some point, Robin also began collecting them.
Both laugh when Robin says those feather prevented him from losing his mind.
They are cuddled on a coach, where none of them want to be the first one to break the contact, so they continue talking in an uncomfortable position, but in each other's arms.
"And the dreams? This last one was the most vivid one, but I have had others that seemed real", asks Regina biting her lower lip and blushing slightly at the thought of some of the dreams that had been her sole companion on many lonely nights.
"I haven't figured that part yet, Regina, but somehow this last dream was like a door for you to visit me. The last dream was a real experience, not a dream. I hope you enjoyed the other ones, though" he looks at her with a mischevious smile and adds "I gave you a special feather this time. One that changes colors when we are close. If not it would have been a long time before I could come back to you, even though there's no problem to cross realms."
"So, it seems someone broke the curse and freed you," adds Regina.
"You did it, Regina, when you used the feather I gave you to enact this last curse. That feather was my offer to you, from someone that loves you, and it seems that was the clue."
"Now, that makes sense. If I haven't used your feather the curse to unite the realms would still have worked, but your curse wouldn't have broken," says Regina and almost in a whisper adds "Shit! And I was thinking not to use it!"
They kiss as if there were no tomorrow, they make love countless times that night, and when they wake up together, holding tightly to each other, she says "Let's go and find Roland. He's in the Enchanted Forest!"
And, when weeks later Snow White crowns her as the Good Queen, Robin is by her side, and as he kisses her, she knows that her happy beginning, happy ending, second chance or whatever is now complete.
