Title: Watashi no Kokoro
Part 1 of 2
Pairings: Kanda x Allen, briefly mention (and one-sided) O.C. x Allen
Warnings: language, maybe some o.o.c, some sexual references. The lemon will be in the second part.
Numer of words: 3546
Number of pages: 7
Dedicated to: Watashi-wa-inori-tsuzukeru. For being the most awesome friend a girl could wish for. We may know each other only from the internet but that doesn't mean she wasn't my rock when I needed someone to lean on. So thank you girl ^^
A.N.: This was supposed to be a Christmas one-shot but since I've been pretty busy lately I couldn't type it out and it got postponed and postponed until now. It was also original meant to be an one-shot but the story turned out to be quite a bit longer than I intended it to be. I suppose that's good for you guys right? xD
Please enjoy reading!
'Why am I here again?' Kanda pondered upon that question as he sat in the train headed towards London. He did not mean that in some theological kind of way bit more like: why-am-I-sitting-in-a-train-with-a-former-scientist-of-the-order? Oh right... They were searching for the Moyashi.
If they find him, the Japanese teen would give him the beating of a lifetime... If they find him. The only reason he teamed up with Johnny in the first place was because he thought that the ex-scientist knew where the host for the 14th Noah was. Apparently the curly haired male just liked jumping into things without thinking first. Just like somebody else he knew...
"So why London?" He asked, not really interested in the answer. He just needed confirmation that they weren't off on a wild goose chase.
"Well before I left the Order I searched Allen's room looking for something that might serve as a clue to his current whereabouts. And then I found these lying in one of bedside cabinets." He responded before passing a bundle of notes to the Japanese exorcist.
"What are these? Bills?"
"Yes, they were left for Allen to pay by General Cross. I figured that someone on that list must have seem him. After all he has some very distinguished features..."
"How do we know that he won't change his appearance. Or simply hide his white hair." The Moyashi wouldn't do that but Kanda liked to see the ex-scientist squirm in his seat as he tried to respond without angering the exorcist.
"Well I doubt that he would be able to do it. Besides he doesn't seem like the type to really try and hide who he really is. Besides his scar is pretty hard to hide."
'You might be surprised by that. That guy specializes in only showing the people what he wants them to see.' The Japanese teen thought but instead he just said: "A well placed strand of hair should do the trick."
Both fell silent after that and remained that way until the reached their destination: King Cross's Station. Still silent they stepped off the train and made their way towards the Red-Light District. Each armed with a picture of the white-haired exorcist, they entered a different bar and began questioning the people there. Four hours later they still had no information what so ever.
XOXOX
"Fuck! How fucking hard can it be to fucking find one fucking albino!" Kanda raged as he repeatedly punched the wall of the room he and Johnny rented for the night. After a whole evening of searching and coming up with nothing, his mood had plummeted down the drain.
"Please Kanda calm down!" The curly-haired male was sweating profusely at the thought of getting kicked out of the inn they were staying in just because they exorcists could not contain his anger.
"Fuck this! I'm going out!" Grabbing his jacket he stormed out and entered the first bar that he encountered. Normally he wasn't a person who liked to drink but right now he needed something strong to calm him down. Why was he looking for the Moyashi again? To think him properly? The teen snorted... Yeah right! To be honest he had no idea why he wanted to see the younger exorcist. He just did!
He stomped inside a bar called "The Green Fairy" and ordered the strongest liquor they had to offer. Kanda drank a lot, real fast. In less that a quarter of an hour he was experiencing an unfamiliar buzz inside his head.
The Japanese exorcist was ready to leave the bar and head towards another one when he was approached by a girl in a bunny suit. At first he tried to get her away from him since he wasn't interested in anything that she might have to offer. He stopped trying when she called him by his full name.
"Mister Yu Kanda?"
"Che how do you know my name?"
"A little white clown whispered it into my ear... He also guided asked me to guide you to him. He wants to talk to you before everyone knows where he is because of your questioning around." Suddenly irritation seeped into her voice and she didn't sound nearly as friendly as she had before.
"Then by all means bring me to him..."
The girl/woman nodded and walked out of the bar with Kanda following her. They walked for about 5 minutes before the woman entered a run down brothel at the outskirts of the Red-Light District. They walked up a set of stairs and stopped before a door with the number '14' on it. 'How ironic.' The exorcist thought.
He was left alone but before he could knock on the door it was already being opened by the person on the other side. The one person Johnny and him had been looking for... "Moyashi."
"It's Allen! BaKanda!"
"Che." A small smirk made it's way onto his lips while an answering smile crept onto Allen's. "Are you going to let me in. Or are we going to have a conversation here in the hallway?"
A look of uncertainty crossed the boy's face before he sighed and opened the door. Stepping in the Japanese teen took a look at his surroundings. The walls were decorated bordeaux-red wallpaper while the two chairs and bed were made up in a dark marine color. There were two large sitting chairs facing each other placed before the – lit – fireplace with a small round table in between them. Except for a small bed and a chest in front of it, the room was otherwise bare.
Seating himself in one of the chairs Kanda noticed that the Moyashi looked uncomfortable in his presence. His pale, silvery eyes kept glancing back towards the door and he was absent-mindedly rubbing his left arm. His Innocence.
Even though he was more than a bit curious to find out why the boy's Innocence seemed to be bothering him, Kanda refrained from asking about it. At least that had been the plan until he caught sight of the white things covering his arm. Quick as lightning his own hand shot forward and grabbed the younger boy's wrist. Before the Moyashi had even time to comprehend what was going on, the Japanese teen pulled the long sleeve up his arm.
Dark narrow eyes widened as they took in the white feathers covering Allen's Innocence. The eyes tried to make contact with silver one, only to find that the owner of them was already looking away in shame.
"Moyashi... What?"
"Take a seat and I'll explain." And explain the boy did. He told Kanda everything that had happened since he had sent the other one through the Arc's gate to Mater. "...I got away but what am I going to do now? I can't keep running but I can't fight either. And I can't go out in the daylight because then everyone will think that I'm some kind of freak!" The boy's voice was getting shriller and shriller towards the end of his explanation and liquid gathered in the corners of his eyes.
"You're not a freak." Kanda heard himself say. He was surprised to say something like that but he was even more surprised to find out that he really meant those words. Allen's white hair, deformed left arm and large scar may make him stand out in the crowd but he did not look like a freak to Kanda. Just a boy marked by life...
"You've changed BaKanda..." A soft look appeared on the boy's features.
"Changed how?"
"More soft... No more human, maybe a bit more compassionate."
"Che I'll show you soft!"
Hahahahaha!" The laughter sounded like bells clinking together and the older teen decided that he liked the sound. Seriously what was wrong with him these dasy?
"Say Kanda... What happened to Link? He was in a pretty bad shape when he broke Timcanpy's seal to let us escape."
"He's dead." Silver eyes widened and this time silent tears did slide down Allen's cheeks. And Kanda knew why... He knew that the blonde had been the only one to treat the boy like a human, the only one to be completely honest with him. And he had also been the one to hold the boy throughout the frequent nightmares visiting the exorcist in his sleep. Link had been the only one there while all the other walked away from Allen... In the end even Lenalee herself had begun doubting Allen, she might not have been aware of it but her reasons as to why he would never betray them had started to sound less and less convincing each day.
Standing up the Japanese teen walked out of the room, leaving the boy to grieve in silence. They could continue their conversation tomorrow. But tonight much had been revealed that neither had known and both needed to have some time alone to take every single thing in.
When he arrived back at the inn, Kanda went straight to bed, not bothering to acknowledge Johnny or his questions of where he had been. For some reason he wanted to keep the fact that he had met up with Allen a secret for now. Or at least until the morning.
XOXOX
Even though Kanda had wanted nothing more than a good night's rest his brain had other plans. For the most part of the night he kept wondering what to do with the Moyashi. Knowing the truth – the thought that Allen might have lied to him never even crossed his mind – made him hate the Black Order more than he already did. So going back there was defiantly out of the question. Nor was he planning on joining the Noah's side any time soon...
It was then that he remembered a conversation he had overheard between Bookman and Lavi in the cafeteria right after the exorcists had been notified about the Moyashi being the 14's host. At the time he had simply thought that the two had been careless but now he wondered if maybe they had wanted someone to overhear. Why they would want that was beyond Kanda but he wouldn't put it past them either...
Bookman and Lavi had been discussing the conversation between Allen and his master. Or to be more precise they had been discussing the possibility of a third side to the war like General Cross had claimed that existed. The Japanese exorcist did not know what to think about this 'third side' but the idea did sound awfully appealing to him. It was the only option left for Allen and he knew that Johnny would join simply because the Moyashi was there. Given the choice the teen was sure that other exorcists and scientists would also join. And then there was General Marian Cross – who had once again dissappeared – but when he was found, the man could 'guide' them.
Yes, Kanda thought, a 'third side' would be the answer to all of their problems. He would visit the Moyashi again in the morning and suggest the idea to him. But for now the Japanese exorcist would try to sleep. If his goddamn brain would only be kind enough to stop working!
XOXOX
At the crack of dawn Kanda rose up and tried to come up with a plan for that day. Last night he had 'forgotten' about the fact that some fucked-up Innocence-like-creature was still after Allen. And let's not forget the fact that the Order was still looking for Johnny. It would also be only a matter of time before the Vatican realised that the Mugen-wielder had flown the coup once again.
"Hey Squirt listen here!" He said to the ex-scientist as soon as the man walked out of the bathroom. "I want you to check-out of here and then check-in at two different hotels on opposite ends of London. Use your real name when you book them. Then go back to the station and hire a room in the hotel across the street from there but be sure to use a false name this time. Once you've done that you are to stay inside that room until I come get you. If all goes well today I might have the Moyashi with me."
Johnny who had looked offended at being called 'squirt' let the name slide as soon as he heard what Kanda said. "You know where Allen is?" The geek asked in wonder.
"Just do what I said and then I promise that I will explain everything tonight alright?"
The ex-scientist nodded and that was Kanda's cue to slip out of the window and walked down the path he had taken last night. He might have been drunk but he could still remember the way to get to the brothel where the Moyashi was staying.
Without experiencing any difficulties – and without getting lost – the Japanese teen quickly found himself back before the door leading to Allen's room. He was debating whether to knock or just barge in when he heard raised voices inside. Gently and without making any sound he opened the door and took a peek inside without alarming the two inside of his presence.
"What do you want from me!" The Moyashi sounded a little desperate as he shouted his question to the man in front of him.
Said man was almost two heads taller that the white-haired exorcist. The man was also very good looking. He had shoulder-length blond hair pulled back into a low ponytail with a few escaped strands framing his face. His face was full with sharp angles but the porcelain skin color gave it this aristocratic look. His clothes made of the finest fabric out there also suggested that the man was quite rich. To top everything off his cold ice-blue eyes were staring straight into silver ones as if to force their owner into submission by willpower alone (1).
"I don't want much, just a little compensation for everything I've done for you so far my little albino (2)." The man's voice and velvety but at the same time he sounded like a hunter seizing up his prey. "Don't forget that it is because of me that you have a roof over your head, food in your mouth, fresh water to wash yourself with and a clean bed to sleep in."
"If it is money you want than I can give...3
"Give me what? You still have to pay for your master's debts. You can't have a job looking like that. Tell me how is is exactly that you plan on making money?"
"I can perform as a clown on the streets. I've done it before and I'm quite good at it. No-one will see my … euhm … fault under a thick layer of white make-up."
"Allen, Allen, Allen. You and I both know that there aren't many people who will give you a penny. Besides I'm not talking about money. There are other ways for you to pay me back..." The man was practically leering at the Moyashi now and Kanda felt his blood boil at what the man was suggesting.
"Then what do you mean?" For a moment the older exorcist's heart seemed to stop. There was no way that the kid was that naïve right? He grew up under the 'care' of Marian Cross, he must know about these things... But it seemed that the Moyashi was indeed clueless.
"You've got a pretty mouth my little albino. I've been having these dreams lately where that mouth is wrapped around my dick. Won't you do that for me? Pleasure me, give me completion and I will give you all that you desire in this world."
The Moyashi paled as the man reached out to cup the exorcist's cheeks. Silver eyes began to water and in that instant Kanda just knew that the other would agree to it. But he would not let it happen... So he gently slipped the door close without making any sound before knocking on it as hard as he could. "Moyashi! Open this door, I want to talk to you!"
The Japanese teen waited for a few moments until the door finally opened. On the other side of it was the unknown man who glared at him before speaking with poison laced in his voice. "May I require as to what business you have with sir Walker?"
"As a fellow exorcist I need to discuss something with him about the Order. In private!" Kanda gave the man a glare of his own which caused the other to back away.
"Very well I shall leave the two of you alone then. Allen we shall continue our conversation at a later time if that is alright with you?" Without really waiting for an answer the man left.
"Kanda... what?" That boyish face was both set in confusion and gratefullness. Shock also seemed like it would take a prominent role in his features. Not that the Mugen-wielder could blame him.
"I want you to come with me. If you want I can take you from both the Order and the Noah's. We can find General Cross again and join him and this 'third side' he mentioned."
"How do you …? Besides it is no use because my master is dead. He died right after he explained everything about the 14th to me." Grief took over and for the first time the older exorcist realized that the two might have been really close. Even if they didn't show it.
"How?" General Cross did not strike him as someone who would die all that easily. The man was like a weed. Unpleasant and hard to exterminate.
"Apocryphos, that weird Innocence-like-creature I told you about killed him."
Kanda could not help but snort. "As if that would kill him. I believe he's still alive and hiding somewhere." Hope lightened in silver eyes at those words and before they both knew what was happening they smaller one tackled the other in a bone-crushing hug.
Without really thinking about what he was doing the Japanese teen wrapped his arms around the teens back and returned the hug. The Mugen-wielder quickly discovered that the Moyashi fit against him perfectly and all of a sudden he did not want to release the smaller boy.
"Hey Kanda how about we leave this place and go somewhere were Edward can't come in any second?"
"Edward?"
"The man who prepositioned me. And don't lie, I know that you overheard our conversation. Besides your knocks were timed a little bit to precise to be an coincidence..." There was this sparkle in those silver eyes that let the older exorcist know that the boy might not be as innocent as he had first thought.
"Good but before we leave I want to have a little chat with goldilocks."
"As for him downstairs while I pack some of my stuff."
Kanda nodded and leant down to give the other a small kiss. He had no idea why he did it, just that it felt good. When he left the room, Allen had a delicate blush covering his cheeks.
XOXOX
"How much?"
"Excuse me?" Cold ice-blue eyes look at the exorcist in something akin to disgust.
"If I want to take the Moyashi with me, how much would you charge me for him?"
"Who? Mushi?" The blonde did a terrible good job of slaughtering Kanda's precious language and the latter felt a tick appear next to his eye.
"Moyashi." He said again slowly and pronouncing every syllable separately like one would with a small child. "Allen Walker, 'your little albino'. The boy you wanted a blowjob from. You know... I should just kill you for even suggesting such a thing to a member of the Black Order." The exorcist unsheathed Mugen just a little bit which caused Edward to pale. Apparently he took the threat seriously. Like he should.
"Fine take him. I'd love to have him in my bed but I would love it even more if my head kept attached to my neck."
"Smart man." Turning on his heels he met up with Allen before walking out of the brothel.
"Hey Kanda where are we going to go to now?"
Mugen's wielder snorted again: "It was you who wanted to leave and now you expect me to know where we are going?"
"Then why don't we go there for now?" The look on Allen's face may have been innocent, the twinkle in his eyes told a different story as he pointed towards a building with a big neon-pink sing that read: 'Sammy's Love Hotel'.
Kanda was hesitant at first but he decided to go with the other anyway. Who knew what could happen there? Somehow he had the feeling that whatever was going to happen in the hotel was something good...
I realize that the man may sound like Edward Elric from FullMetal Alchemist and given the fact that I named him Edward you might think I based him on that character but in all honestly I didn't ^^" I was just describing what my mind come up with and it wasn't until later that I realized that they look similar. Please forgive me? XD
I know that Allen is not really an albino and before anyone gives me hell for it, I can explain why I call him that here. You see Edward doesn't know that Allen's hair turned white after he exorcised Mana's akuma form and therefore he thinks that Allen was an albino from birth. Hence the nickname :D
Anyway please leave a review and I promise to upload part 2 in less than Three weeks (yes I am that busy -.-")
Hugs and Kisses
Chibi Mathilda
