The Bramble and the Rose


We're been so close together,

Each a candle, each a flame.

All the dangers were outside us,

And we knew them all by name.

Sparring with Dimitri was always exciting. And it would continue to be exciting. If for no another reason then we got to be so physically close with an actual excuse. At no other time could I be held down by his strong arms, his face so close to mine, a slight sheen of sweat covering our bodies.

I had learnt to cherish these training sessions. I knew I had feelings for Dimitri, and I knew he returned them - well I was pretty damn sure anyway. But we couldn't be together. He was my mentor, 7 years older, yadda yadda yadda … The usual old excuses.

I knew deep down that he was right to resist though. We could never work. Two dhampir, sworn to protect, doomed to a life without love. Sigh. I might as well enjoy the present situation which was being pinned under my sexy Russian god.

I hadn't known him for long, but I felt like I knew him. Really KNEW him, you know? Like I understood parts of him he didn't understand himself. And I knew for a fact he understood me perfectly. We just go together, like we are meant to be a part of each others lives. Sigh. I guess we would. We were going to guarding partners.

I realized I was still under Dimitri. He hadn't moved an inch. He was just looking at my face, kind of like I was looking at his. He seemed lost in his own thoughts. I wondered if they mirrored my own. Then I realized my teenage thoughts on how life is so unfair would hardly be what a mature guy like Dimitri would be thinking … I started giggling involuntarily and groaned when I realized I had snapped Dimitri out of his daze and he was pulling away from me, getting back onto his feet.

"So what is it that made you giggle so violently?" he asked to cover the almost awkward silence that always lay between us when we found ourselves in similar situations to this one.

"What were you thinking about when you had me pinned?" I shot back.

"I asked first, and you can't answer a question with another question, especially when that question is related in no way to the first." He gave me one of his rare true smiles and I lit up inside.

I couldn't help it; my smart ass side came out, as it always did. "Why not? Or would you prefer, can't I?" Wow, I just asked two questions in one. That's got to deserve some kind of prize, right?"

Dimitri groaned, "Roza, please." He had called me Roza; I think I almost melted into the floor.

Instead I sighed and said, "I was thinking about …things and then I wondered if your thoughts were similar...to my thoughts. It made me laugh, because I don't think they would have been anything alike. You are mature, responsible, and have accepted life for what it is."

He seemed to think for a moment and then he surprised me. "I was thinking, how unfair the life of a dhampir is." He looked at me with worry in his eyes. Maybe he was worried I'd know what he was talking about. Maybe he was worried I'd think he was being childish.

I was shocked. He must have been talking about us. Right? "You mean, because we can't choose …who we want to be?" I questioned him.

"Roza," he sighed. "No. Because we can't choose who we want to be WITH." He looked down at the floor with his forehead creased.

We HAD been thinking the same thing. We were more alike then I really knew.

We've been so close together, each a candle, each a flame.

We couldn't be with each other; and we couldn't stay away from each other. We always seemed to be there for the other - okay, so maybe Dimitri was there a little more for me than I was for him …but he's a Russian God! How much help does he need?

I guessed it was my turn to say something sounding like my own Zen lesson. I walked up to Dimitri and lifted his chin. He looked at me surprised, giving me that cool one eyebrow thing I could never learn. He must have been thinking again.

"You were thinking the exact same thing I was thinking." I smiled sadly. He pulled me into his strong arms for a brief hug before releasing me.

"Well, I guess we never know what will happen in the future, right?" he asked me, with a small frown on his face, and a small spark of hope in his eyes.

"You never know, Comrade." I smiled and kissed his cheek gently. He closed his eyes briefly and when he opened them he gave me one more smile.

Life isn't fair.

Now see how the bramble and the rose,

Intertwines.

Now love grows like the bramble and the rose,

Often cruel, often kind.


Now I've hurt you and it hurts me,

Just to see what we can do.

To ourselves and to each other,

Without really meaning to.

NO. That had been the sweetest word I have ever heard coming from my Russian God's mouth. That was what he told Tasha. That's what he WOULDN'T be telling me. He was staying.

"Tasha. I told her no." When I heard those words I froze. He couldn't really mean what I thought he meant …could he?

I took a breath to steady myself and turned around slowly. I looked into his beautiful brown eyes. They held nothing but concern for me.

I couldn't help but be relieved. I had meant what I said, about him taking the offer and being happy. But at the same time, I had ached for him, pleaded silently for him to say no.

Then again, him just considering it had hurt me. I know he hadn't meant to, but it was enough to make me hesitate.

I didn't want to show him my hesitation, so instead I pulled out my Rose Hathaway bravado. "Good. We can start up our training sessions again. I'm sure you have lots left to teach me."

"Yes, lots of things." He looked at me with such intensity that I thought I might fall over. Instead, I leaned back against the wall, slid down into a sitting position with my knees to my chest and looked at the floor.

"What made you do it?" I asked fearfully. I needed to know, but I wasn't quite sure if I wanted to know. It seemed to take forever before he spoke. He sat cross-legged across from me with his hands on his knees.

"You. Roza, how could I be with someone, pretending to love them …when my heart's already taken? I could not give her what she wanted, and I am just selfish enough to stay. I am so sorry to make you think I would take her offer at all." His forehead creased and his eyes dropped down to the door in self-loathing.

"Do you love me?" I asked in a small voice. I normally wasn't this forward, but I needed to know. He had implied as much, but never said the words.

He looked up at me quickly, a look a shock on his face. He seemed to hesitate. Ouch. That hurt.

Now I've hurt you and it hurts me, just to see what we can do.

"Roza, I love you more than I should have ever allowed myself." He almost seemed to shrink with his works. I realized he was feeling ashamed for putting his career, my education and Lissa's life in jeopardy. He was too hung up on rules and morals. WAY too hung up.

I needed to say something, and fast.

"Dimitri …I love you more than I ever thought was possible." He looked up slowly, with some of that fire back in his eyes. "I think you made the right decision …for everyone."

He bit his lip and nodded slowly. "I think I did too." He sighed.

I didn't know if we would ever be able to act on our feelings, if we'd ever get to go on a date.

I did know that we seemed to always hurt each other …without meaning to of course.

Maybe we'd be doomed to be like this forever.

All I knew was that we'd find a way to be together; even if it was as friends, guarding partners or still as student and mentor.

"Well, its past curfew," I said quietly. I wanted to stay, talk more and find out all about him. But I knew we couldn't. Dimitri sighed heavily and stood up, pulling me to my feet with him. I walked out of the gym full of mixed emotions.

He was going to stay. He had contemplated Tasha, but chose me. Then again, he actually contemplated Tasha's offer. He hesitated. But he told me he loved me. I wasn't sure how I should feel.

All this time Dimitri was silent, seemingly lost within his own thoughts.

Once we reached my dorm he walked me to my room, gave me a gently kiss on the lips and left me alone in my room with my thoughts.

I breathed out a long heavy breath and climbed into bed.

Now see how the bramble and the rose,

Intertwines.

Now loves grows like the bramble and the rose,

Round each other they will wind.


So put your arms around me,

Yes and sing a true love song.

One that we can sing together,

That will last the whole night long.

As we wandered aimlessly through the forest, I caught myself smiling. Don't get me wrong, I mean I was worried sick about Eddie and all the other captives. But at the same time can't a girl have a single happy moment?

I had just made love to the one person I cared most about in the world - well, except for Liss but I don't really want to make love to her, ugh!

And then I wasn't completely sure I should be feeling so happy. Since when do dhampir get to experience such joy in their lives? I felt that fleeting sense of bitterness towards Lissa before I pushed it back down inside of me. It didn't do any good to be bitter. This was the way things were.

Lissa had had NO idea what she was talking about …I wondered if she regrets her first time with Aaron, maybe she wished she had waited for Christian …I know I am glad I waited for Dimitri … I didn't let myself even think about all the girls he's probably been with before me. It didn't even matter. All that mattered was that I had him now, and he had me and we got each other, in every way possible.

I couldn't have been happier.

I knew it was a passing happiness. I mean, we were both doomed to protect the same Moroi, never having time off together and never BEING together. Wow, that brought me down pretty quickly.

I looked over at my personal savior and my breath caught in my throat. He was walking along, like me lost completely in his thoughts. I remembered after a second my previous depressing thoughts and as I did he let out a deep sigh and turned to me, pulling me to a stop with the hand that was wrapped around my own.

"Roza, I love you." He looked at me with pain in his eyes. He looked like he wanted to say more. I really hoped he wasn't going to tell me how much he regretted our time in the cabin - but how could he? In very un-rose like fashion, I chose to remain silent, instead communicating my love through my eyes - I hoped.

"I want to try to make this work - if you want to." He looked like he was scared of something.

Then it hit me, he thought I might not want to be with him.

"Comrade, I love you with all my heart and I would do anything to be with you." I thought hard for a moment. "I would probably consider thinking about leaving Lissa for you," I said in almost complete honesty. I mean I WOULD consider thinking about it, and I would never had ever THOUGHT about considering it before.

He laughed at my roundabout way of saying things. "I would never force you to make that decision. I was thinking about asking to be re-assigned to the Royal Court. So I could be near you …to be with you, if you'll have me?" He finished in a sort of question.

"I thought I made this perfectly clear. I. Love. You. I want to be with you always, for as long as we can be together. And I will love you beyond that." He gave me one of his thousand watt smiles and putting his arms around my waist; he lifted me up and spun me around.

It felt like I was in some kind of cheesy romantic movie …but I kind of liked it. I could get used to seeing his handsome Russian looking so happy.

"I had hoped you would say something like that." He grinned after he kissed me deeply while I was still up in the air.

I felt full of life, full of love for Dimitri, full of hope for the future and full of faith that maybe; just maybe, this was my time to be truly happy.

As he placed me gently on the ground and gave me an equally chaste kiss on my sensitive lips, he took up my hand again and we started walking again, more slowly this time.

I realized that we were near the cabin. Our cabin.

That must have what set him off.

Not that I'm complaining mind you. If it wasn't for the approaching threat and challenge of rescuing Eddie and the rest of them from those evil Strigoi, I could have fainted with happiness; I mean I could almost, ALMOST forget everything else. But once it was over, once we had rescued everyone and everything is good again - I will be the happiest girl on the face of the planet. Dhampir, Moroi, Human or even Strigoi.

I loved this man, as he loved me and we would continue to do so.

FOREVER.

So see how the bramble and the rose,

Intertwines.

Love grows like the bramble and the rose,

Round each other we will wind.

Now love grows like the bramble and the rose.

Hello again everybody. First of all I would like to thank the creator… dum dum dumdum!

Cathleen. Belikov! It was this particular fanfictioner who requested I write these mini conversations and who coincidently inspired me to finish chapter 20 on my Spirit Bound:Entwined story!(and continue on)

I hope everyone enjoys this song fic one shot as much as you seem to be enjoying my Spirit Bound story

Thankyou for reading!

Keira