Because, as I said before, if I must suffer, Dragon will too.

LeAngst

Pairing: One-sided Monica/Dragon (My OFC for everything) Chandler/Monica

Universe: Friends (No Relation to Teardrops on my Guitar)

Rating: T

Warnings: Femslash, unrequited love, angst

LeAngst

She knows now. They told her. She knows. I don't know which one of them told her, and right now I don't really care. The fact is, she knows and there is nothing that I can do to change that.

"You know... You know that nothing will ever happen between us, right?" The dark haired told me softly." I simply nodded not making eye contact.

"We can still be friends. But, romantically, nothing will ever happen." She restated, practically grinding salt into the wound.

"Because you're engaged to Chandler. Yes, I know." I muttered bitterly, wrapping my arms a little tighter around myself, hoping she would leave soon.

"Yeah. I guess... I guess I'll just go." She turned to leave my apartment and suddenly I realised something.

"Monica." She stopped and turned back. I had to know.

"Back when we first met all those years ago... I've felt this way for a while, and I just have to know. If I had said something years ago, way before you ever started to date Chandler... Do you think that I would have had a chance? Would you have given me a chance?" She considered for a moment, staring blankly out the window, weighing her options. I wasn't sure which would hurt more: A yes or a no.

"Back when I first met you... I felt something. I felt something for quite a while, but I was sure that you would never return it. Then I started dating Chandler and it faded quickly and completely. So, if you had said something back then, if you had actually asked me out... I probably would have said yes." She turned and left my apartment just as I fell onto my couch as the blow hit me.

Later that night, probably hours later, when Phoebe came back to our shared apartment, I was still sitting there, tears trickling steadily down my face and I lay curled in a pain that transcended any physical or emotional agony I had ever felt.

"Oh honey." She sat down next to me and just hugged me, a faithful friend, as the tears continued to flow. Honestly, now that I have my answer, I really wish Monica had told me that there was never any way it would have worked, that I would have never had a chance, because now that I have my answer, now that I know for sure that I blew my chance with her and it's all my fault that this is how it is... I honestly wish that I could just go back to not knowing.

LeAngst

Like I said, if I must suffer, so shall Dragon. The guy I like doesn't know, and the only thing that would come from telling him is that things might be tense, if he stays my friend (I feel like he would though, because he's not the kind of guy to freak out over something like that) but if he ever found out, and I ever asked him when there is definitely no chance of anything ever happening between us, I really hope that he says that I never had a chance at all, it would be better than knowing that I could have changed something.