AUTHOR'S NOTES:
First off, I was hoping to huminize just my favorite episodes, but because of "TaRO"s popularity, I'm gonna do the whole show. I don't plan on really giving any physical descriptions due to my preference of allowing imagination to run free; however, I'll probably put in one or two tidbits. But if you want to see what I think they would look like, just visit my DeviantArt page at .com/ . I don't know whether I want Cybertron to be a country or an artificial planet. I personally think artificial planet is a lot cooler. But I'll just try to avoid that little problem until I can decide. Anywho, enjoy "Home Is Where The Spark Is".
The crickets chirped. The dogs barked. The owls hooted. The bell in the church tower tolled. And standing on top of a court, the Angry Archer eyed his trophy: several bag-loads of fresh, crisp Benjamins being loaded onto an armored truck from below. The guards gave one last look around. The Archer ducked behind a piece of roof architecture. When he heard the sound of the wheels grinding against pavement, in rapid motion he fired an arrow at a building ahead of the truck and swung on the attached rope to the truck.
"Tally ho!" he cheered. He released the rope and rolled onto the roof of the truck to prevent any noise. In one movement, he swept another arrow from his quiver, and shot it at the roof. The magnet in the blunt head held it straight up. A small laser arm from the head burned a hole through and gave the Archer a pleasant view of the prize below.
"Stand and deliver forthwith!" he ordered. The guards appeared shocked at the figure above them for two seconds then raised their guns and fired. The Archer leapt away, and in a manner similar to his arrival, swung from building to building, firing an arrow, swinging on the rope, and repeating. He managed to keep up with the truck but had to slow down to dodge some bullets being fired at him. One of the guards had climbed onto the roof and was now firing at the Archer.
"Doest thou wish to challenge me?!" he questioned the guards sanity. Between two swings, he pulled two arrows out and fired them at the guard. The arrows, which were bonded by a steel cable, went on either side of the guard and forcefully yanked him off the roof and slammed him against a nearby wall. The Archer fired one more dual-cable arrow at him to ensure his immobility. The Archer then continued swinging.
When he realized he wouldn't be able to catch up at this rate, he fired a zip-line arrow. He zoomed forward and released the cable then landed a hundred feet in front of the truck. The Archer fired three dual-cable arrows at the truck's front window. He then fired one end of an arrow at the ground, another at a building wall, and the third end at the wall adjacent. After finishing his plan, he fired a zip-line arrow and moved to a rooftop to watch the chaos to come.
Just as he'd planned, the truck drove past the trap. The arrow cables proved stronger than the truck and yanked the front of it upward. The momentum pulled the truck's back end under the front, but didn't stop there. The cables instantaneously released, allowing the truck to screech down the street on its roof.
When the anarchy ended, the Archer leapt down and admired his handiwork. He fired an arrow at the armored door. Upon impact it exploded leaving a smoking hole in the backside. He couldn't resist chuckling upon seeing the guard's ridiculous position: lying on his upper back and neck with his crotch hanging over his head. The Archer's quick laugh was made quicker when he heard sirens in the distance. He would have to move quickly. He grabbed as many sacks of money as the hooks on his belt could hold and zip-lined away.
"Ha ha ha!" he laughed, "Victory is mine!" Once again, his amusement was interrupted by a rocket-powered axe slicing through the cable. He fell to the ground with a loud thud but immediately recovered and picked himself up.
He looked to see who had caused his fall. A man, Optimus Prime as he'd heard on the news, caught the axe when it returned to him.
"You know, I've got a pretty good feeling that those bags don't belong to you," Optimus said seriously.
"Doest thou dare to challenge the Angry Archer, and attempt a victory of which yon constables could not attain?" The Archer fired an explosive arrow at the Autobot. He dodged it and caught it with his grappling hook then launched it back at Archer who caught it with his robotic left hand.
"I believe the saying is, 'Right back at you,'" Optimus replied.
"I see thou doest possess skills of which few have, opponent," Archer complimented. He fired two dual-cable arrows which Optimus easily sliced through with his axe. Archer then tried two grenadier arrows. Optimus ducked then used his grapplers to force the arrows to hit each other and explode. Archer smirked. He pulled out an arrow and aimed it at a wall. It shot through the air, bounced off the wall, bounced off another wall, and continued to bounce around the alley, smacking Optimus several times and completely missing the Archer who stood perfectly still.
Eventually Optimus managed to keep his eye on the ricocheting arrow, predict when it would attack, then dodged and cut it in half. He rubbed an apple sized bruise on his cheek.
"That all ya got Archer?" Optimus challenged.
"I shan't deny dear nemesis, thou doest have skills equivalent to mine. Hence I shall retreat and return again someday to defeat you," Archer pulled out an arrow, "Ah yes. This shall prove enough a distraction for my getaway." He pointed the arrow into the air and fired. The arrow burst into many pellets which exploded when they hit the ground. Optimus managed to duck into an alley to avoid injury.
Several pellets hit a car sending it into flames. Optimus used the fire foam function of his gauntlets to put out the fire then searched for the Archer. He had already run halfway down the street. Optimus activated his axe's telescoping handle to pole vault into the air. When he was high enough, he shot out a cable net which wrapped itself tightly around the Archer who hit the ground with a thud. Just then the police arrived.
"Oh vexing fate, thou'rt a harsh mistress," the Archer groaned, "I was to be rich! I was to be famous!"
"Well then, I guess you'll just have to settle for famous," Optimus smiled. Some copter-bots arrived then to take some pictures for the news.
