Kiss My Irish Ass

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Seriously. I am borrowing the song titles from Great Big Sea with a huge amount of Canadian pride and the characters from Criminal Minds because they need to have fun, too but no profit is being made in any way.

A/N: This story is born from a desire for a St. Paddy's story but also from a nagging desire to deal with Derek's obvious mixed heritage. Fran looks Irish to me. No offense meant and I pray none taken.

Kiss Me I'm Irish – chapter 1

If there was one day on the calendar that tickled Derek's fancy it was St. Patrick's Day. It was the one day of the year he had a standing date with his best friend and unless he was called away on a case there was only one place they would be tonight, McGregor's Pub, his cousin's establishment.

With that in mind he dressed with care that morning. Pressed black trousers and a jade green button down shirt with a Kiss Me I'm Irish pendent pinned over his heart. At first he buttoned all but the top button of his shirt but as he made his way out the door to his driveway, whistling Sea of No Cares© under his breath he flicked the second last button free in deference to the incredible temperature, shrugged his shoulders, rolled his neck and was singing by the time he was behind the wheel.

Arriving at the BAU offices he made the briefest of stops at his office before heading for Penelope's. She was there already bedecked in forest green from the tips of her toes to the shamrock adorning her still red dyed hair. "You the keeper of every leprechauns heart today, goddess?"

"Hmmm…yes, I believe so. And many a young Irish lad, too."

Derek grinned at her comment. "So, is Lynch joining us this evening or is he bowing out this year?"

"Bowing. Tamara?"

"Same."

"We'll have to keep one another accountable then," Penelope said as she crossed her longest fingers over her index ones on both hands as well as her legs and gave him as very saucy smile. "You'll do that for me, won't you, Hot Stuff?" she asked with a flirty wink.

"Woman! Behave or I'll need to go and call it quits with Tamara long before this evening begins."

"Do as you see fit, my love," she called after him as he left the office.

"More like as you wish, baby girl." He turned to see her face as he closed her office door. He'd stunned her into silence: good. Tamara was history but Penelope didn't need to know that as long as she remained with Kevin. Humming When I'm Up (I Can't Get Down)© he went back to his desk to await the end of the day.

TBC…