"Nessa, I love you," I heard a voice say.
No one ever called me Nessa, only my boyfriend, Troy.
"I don't think she will remember you after she hit her head…" some other voice said.
"When did I hit my head?" I thought to myself.
Me and Troy had met in Los Angeles, California when I was at a CD signing for my sophomore album. He had been there to get his CD signed and a picture of me in an old photo shoot signed. He told me that he had been a fan with me ever since I started acting, when I was seven years old. After that, he won one of those "win-a-date-with-a-celebrity" thing. He treated me like I was an actual person, and not a famous person, I just felt normal around him. When I saw how much he loved me and we talked for a while I thought that maybe he deserved a chance with me… Then, the next day I called him and I asked him out. It's kind of really been going on since then.
"Is she waking up?" some man asked.
"Yeah," I felt some rough hand touch my head.
When my eyes finally opened, I had no idea where I was, or what was going on. All I know is that there were tons of beeps. There were a lot of people in the room, so people were in white coat type things, others were in scrubs, and like three people were in casual clothes. These people did not look familiar at all.
"Oh my gosh thank the Lord, she's alive!" some woman rushed over to my bed and grabbed.
"Who are you and why are you holding my hand?" I asked, I was very confused. She looked like a model who hadn't slept in days. I think she was just either bad at putting make-up on or just extremely tired.
The woman looked hurt, " I'm your mom."
"Oh, who is the person that put there hand on my head?"
"That was your father."
"Which person is that?"
"Him," my mom pointed over to a tall lanky man who was really pale and didn't really dress that well. He had on a navy blue shirt, with navy blue pants, and his pants were pulled up way to high.
"Oh, I see," I didn't really remember him or my mom.
Then, Troy walked in…
"Nessa," Troy shouted, he rushed over to me and gave me a kiss on my forehead. Every time he gives me just the tiniest kiss, I feel like the most special person in the world. He has the softest lips.
"Troy, I love you," I kissed him back.
"How do you remember him but not us," my dad asked me. He looked like he wanted to kill Troy.
"I don't know, I just do," I replied. "I mean it's not like I can help what I remember and what I don't remember."
"How are you?" Troy asked me.
"I'm fine, what happened?"
"I love you more. The paramedic told me that they found you under your car and you had your head through the driver's side window," Troy grabbed my hand that wasn't attached to the IV, "they said that you were lucky to have at least have a steady pulse when they got you here, and now they are saying that you are lucky to even be alive and responsive."
I was really tired and I didn't want to stay awake any longer, but I had to. As every second went by, I struggled to keep my eyes open but if I just looked over at Troy, I knew that I was fine.
"Hey, can me and Vanessa have a little bit of alone time, I need to ask her something in private?" Troy asked me parents.
"Sure," my parents walked out of the room, actually my mom shoved my dad out of the room, he didn't really want to leave me and Troy alone. I think that he thought he was going to try to pull some kind of "move".
I looked at Troy for a little while, his lips were moving, but either he wasn't saying anything, or I couldn't hear him. The doctor walked in.
"Hi Vanessa, we have some bad news to tell you," the doctor paused, and she pulled out a long cat scan looking type thing. She started pointing out things to Troy and whispering, he looked worried as she pulled the scan results away from his eyes. " We are afraid that your red cell, and white cell counts are way off…"
"So what does that mean?" I asked as Troy grabbed my hand.
"It means we think you may have cancer…in your stomach somewhere, we think it is more towards your epiglottis."
I started to get teary eyed. I never wanted to hear the word cancer again…not after the way my grandmother died. She had had cancer for six months, and then they finally decided that after the fifth month that the chemo wasn't working anymore, they took her off of it. Then, she lasted a month without the chemo, then my grandma died. That day, when she died, my grandpa came out of her hospital saying, seventy-two years they had known each other, and he had never, never looked at another woman… I didn't want that to be Troy.
"Are you okay Vanessa?" the nurse looked at me with deep concern.
"no, of course I'm not okay, I just figured out that I have cancer! Oh my gosh, how stupid of a question can that be," that's what I wanted to say, but I didn't, "Yeah, I'm perfectly fine, just a little shocked…"
"Oh, well I'll give you two a little alone time to discuss things, of course I will tell you now, if it is cancer, you will be getting chemo regularly every week," the nurse walked out of the room with that last note.
"Baby, I'm so, so, so, so, so, sorry… I knew that what she was saying was bad, just not this bad…" Troy started to get teary eyed.
"It's okay, it's not your fault, it's in mine genes. I mean it has been in my genes for many generations, it just skipped my mom's generation." I grabbed his hand, "I'll be fine."
"What do you mean it is in your genes? I never knew that… I mean I know about your great-great-grandma, but no one else."
"Uhhh, okay I knew I was going to have to relive this story sometime, I guess I can tell you."
"Well you don't have to if you don't want to…"
"I am, I need to get off my shoulders by telling somebody. Anyway this Is how it happened, I was really close the my great-grandma, and she got lung cancer. She had it for about six months and on the fifth they decided that the chemo wasn't helping her at all. She lasted about one month without chemo, but everybody knew she was going to die, except me of course. When she did finally die, my great-grandpa came out of her room and said seventy-two years, seventy-two years I never fell in love, or looked at another woman, only her." I had already been in tears, practically since I started the story, I hate having that story in my past, but everyone has there own set of burdens that they have to live through.
"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry," Troy was in tears and he looked like he was about to let them all pour out. I liked the fact that Troy was sensitive, not hesitant about showing his tears, and didn't mind expressing his emotions, that's what I've always looked for in a guy.
"It's fine Troy, that was over two years ago, I'm almost over it, I'm fine. I don't want you to have to feel bad for me baby, really I don't. I have suffered alone for a while now that I have gotten it out I just feel better, but I also feel a lot worse because now other people might feel bad for me."
"Okay I promise I won't make a big deal about feeling bad for you, I just don't want you to have to go through this alone."
After that my so called mom walked in with some big muscular dude.
"Who is that?" I asked I started backing up, because if he was that big, I knew he could take wimpy little me out.
"This is your twin brother, Mark. He is three minutes older then you."
"Oh." I was starting to get back my strength. "Mom, I think there is something you should know… Umm, the nurse came in and she said that they think that they know what is wrong with me."
"What is it?" my mom rushed over towards me.
"They said that they think that I have cancer, but they said that it is more around my epiglottis."
"Are you serious? What, why may daughter, why her? Why now?" my mom started crying. She had mascara running down her face. She started to look really pale.
"Mom? Mom, are you okay?"
"Baby, I don't think that your mom is okay… Hang on," Troy went out to go get a nurse. A nurse rushed in with my dad.
"Has she been having any medical problems with her?" the nurse asked my dad.
"Umm, yeah she had her appendix taken out and recently had surgery to do all that stuff for her ovaries…you know, why is that important?"
"Yeah, really important, they could've used not very clean utensils or something like that. Sir, it could be causing her to die right now!"
"You've got to be kidding me! I'm the one who told her to get her stupid tubes ties…if she dies, this is my fault," my dad walked over to my dying mother and grabbed her hand.
I was to shocked to move. I knew that this was probably the end for my mom and most likely my dad. I knew how this story ends, it happens basically every time; my dad will feel bad about this whole thing and go off and kill himself. I know that I didn't really remember him and didn't really know him that well, but I started crying.
"Baby, it's going to be okay…will do something," Troy tried to comfort me, he wrapped his muscular arms around me. I honestly felt safe with him, like nothing could hurt me or ever make me sad. It was like he was a really big electric fence hat was surrounding me twenty-four-seven.
"I love you," I whispered.
"I love you more," he whispered back.
"Okay we are taking her into surgery... Now! Come on sir!" the nurse shouted.
My dad followed the nurse into the other room. He looked like a drunk idiot, he was walking in a freakishly curvy line. I glanced over at Troy, he looked extremely tired, and worried. I didn't think that I had ever seen him so pale. "Baby are you okay? You look really pale, please sit down."
Troy just nodded and sat down. "I'm fine, are you," he finally got his color back and looked at me, it was like he was in some type of trance.
"Okay," I grabbed his hand, "I really hope nothing is seriously wrong..."
"Everything is going to be okay baby, I promise."
A couple of hours passed and the nurse hadn't come back in with any news. Another two hours passed, then a doctor walked in.
"Ummm, Vanessa, they're both gone... Your dad was taking a nap and he died in his sleep he said that he would die if she didn't make it through, well he died before her. Before he went to sleep, he wrote a note for you, but it is hard to understand. Your mom now, well she woke up and when we told her that he was dead, well the news was too much for her heart to handle, and she passed too. She told us to tell you that she loved you and hoped you had a wonderful life with Troy..." the doctor handed me the note.
"Thanks," I started crying. I started to read the note, and couldn't make out anything it said, besides six words, the words were, "I love you so much sweetie."
"What does it say baby?" Troy asked me.
"It says, 'I love you so much sweetie.'"
"Oh," Troy grabbed my arm and started rubbing it.
