A/N- So, we have yet another story told via omegle. The stars are me and the dashes are the stranger. This will slowly become more and more OOC. Currently a oneshot, but I'll add more if there are enough reviews *Hint Hint*.Enjoy! -Stixer
Why me?
* Baker street, come at once if convenient-SH
- What is it now? What happened? -JW
* We need Milk-SH
* And a new Microwave-SH
- Bloody hell. What did you do? -JW
* Experiment. Did you know that Brain matter is a combustible substance?-SH
- I think anything would explode after being nuked in the bloody microwave, Sherlock. -JW
* Will Mrs. Hudson raise the rent if there are some stains in the carpet?-SH
* And the wallpaper? -SH
- Aw hell. It's that bad? That's it. No microwave for you anymore. -JW
* But John! I need a suitable source of radiation. It is vital to some of my experiments!-SH
- Don't care. Only I can use it when I get a new one. Go blow someone else's microwave up. NOT Mrs. Hudson's! -JW
* Fine then... Maybe I can Borrow Lestrade's. -SH
- He might not give you cases if you do that. -JW
* I might have something I can blackmail Mycroft with-SH
- Which would be...? -JW
* Pictures. I believe mummy sent me some when I first moved to London.-SH
* Aha! I found something. -SH
- Dare I ask what are in those pictures? -JW
- Wait...what did you find? -JW
* Oh, nothing on Mycroft I'm afraid... he probably destroyed them all.
You on the other hand... -SH
- What is it? -JW
- Wait what? What are you planning? -JW
- Bloody hell I'm not kidding! -JW
* How exactly did you get the nickname "three continents Watson"?-SH
- W-What? Oh God. Get out of my stuff, Sherlock! -JW
* Is it my fault you leave it lying around? -SH
- Get OUT of my things before I hurt you -JW
* John, when you leave them in such obvious places you can't really complain. -SH
- My room is supposed to contain my things in it! I don't go snooping through your room! -JW
- Now please get out before you find something worse. -JW
* John. You're wearing a dress. Purple is not your color. -SH
- GET OUT, DAMMIT!-JW
- Plus I was drunk that day. -JW
* Hmm... Lestrade may like this one.-SH
- Like...what...?-JW
- What is it? -JW
* The one with the fruit. -SH
- Fucking hell. Don't show anyone that! Sherlock stop and get out off my room! -JW
- When I get home I plan on throwing you out a window for this. -JW
* Lestrade won't see any of them if I get my microwave.-SH
- You'll just blow it up again! -JW
* John. It's for the case!-SH
- What case requires you to blow up brains! -JW
* A man's alibi relies on it.-SH
* Legwork from my dear brother. -SH
- For God's sake. Fine! Just...get out of my things before you find anymore. When I get home I'm burning them. -JW
* Alright. -SH
- Thank you! -JW
- Uh...just to be sure...that's all you found, right? -JW
* Oh. Of Course. -SH
- Good. Now leave my room, now. -JW
* JOHN WHAT THE HELL! - Greg
- What? -JW
- What happened? -JW
* What are you doing with the fruit? -Greg
- The hell- oh no. SHERLOCK I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!-JW
* John?-SH
- Greg, burn that picture! -JW
- DON'T FUCKING "JOHN?" ME! You showed Greg that picture! -JW
* Okay. Can I keep the one with the dress though? -Greg
* John, It wasn't me. -SH
- NO YOU CAN'T! Greg what is wrong with you? Burn them, now! -JW
- What the hell do you mean it wasn't you! I'm not stupid. You were the only one in my stuff! -JW
* He's right... purple is not your color. -Greg
* I swear it wasn't me! -SH
- Shut up! I was drunk! -JW
- Yes it was! Greg even said "He's right... purple is not your color," Something you informed me of earlier, no? -JW
* Just wondering... why is the picture so fuzzy. -Greg
- I don't know Greg. Rubbish drunken photographer? -JW
* That would explain it. -Greg
* It wasn't me John. But who else? I was the only one in the house, and the only one watching. How... Oh -SH
- What? If not you, then who? -JW
* Cameras John! -SH
- ...Please don't tell me Mycroft. -JW
* Oh, very good. I'm rubbing off on you. -SH
- Never mind you. I'm going to punch your brother instead. I mean-why would he send those! -JW
* *Number Blocked* Hello John
- Mycroft! Why did you send those pictures! -JW
* *Number Blocked* I thought they may amuse a few friends.
- Dammit, why can't you stay out of my life? -JW
* *Number Blocked* You practically invited me into your life when you decided to move in with my brother.
- No, I bloody well didn't! Last thing I need is for you to be stalking me and exploiting my embarrassing moments! -JW
* John. Who's the girl in this picture? -Greg
- ...No one, Greg! I thought I asked you to burn those! -JW
* You told me to burn the one with the fruit and the dress. -Greg
- ...How many pictures do you have? -JW
* I don't know, I keep getting more. -Greg
- DON'T LOOK AT THEM! Don't look, just burn! -JW
- Mycroft, why are you doing this to me? I will kill you for this! –JW
* *Number Blocked* That would be terribly ambitious of you.
* It's like a train wreck. I can't look away. -Greg
- Just try, okay! Oh God. My life is going down the drain...-JW
* *Number Blocked* You have no idea how easy it is to find some interesting photographs once you know where to look. And if you have my resources...
- Why me? You uncaring bastard! What have I ever done to deserve this! -JW
* *Number Blocked* It get's quite boring, running the British government.
- Great. Now I'm harassed by two bored Holmes. One that blew up the microwave and one that gets a sadistic kick out of my embarrassment! Fan-fucking-tastic! How did I get so lucky? -JW
* John... -Greg
- Oh God. What, Greg? I don't think I even want to know...-JW
* Anderson wants to know where you found the cat. -Greg
- Greg, just kill me now. Please.-JW
* Not my division. -Greg
* Where did you get the cat. -Greg
- Look at the time it was my girlfriend's cat, okay? She had brought it with her and after she never talked to me again, happy? -JW
* Extremely... where did Sherlock get the pictures anyway?-Greg
- He was going through my things in my room when I told him he couldn't use the microwave anymore. Besides...he didn't send them. His annoying ass of an older brother did. -JW
* He has a brother... God help us all. -Greg
- No, God help me. He's stalks me because I live with Sherlock. Thought showing these pictures would be funny! -JW
* Well, he wasn't wrong. -Greg
- Thank you, Greg. That makes me feel better! -JW
* *Number Blocked* my PA would like to know if she can borrow the feather boa sometime.
- Are you trying to drive me away? Or trying to make me kill myself? I mean, really, I want to know! -JW
- And no, she can't! -JW
* Does Sally have your number? -Greg
- No, why? -JW
* Never mind. -Greg
- Why, Greg! Don't tell me she got them too! -JW
* Okay. She didn't get them. -Greg
* I don't think it was big brother Holmes though. -Greg
- Oh God. -JW
- What do you mean? He told me himself that he did it. -JW
* By the looks she was giving Anderson... -Greg
- Sally? But how did she even get a hold of those! -JW
* Anderson would be my guess. OH. MY. GOD. -Greg
- Anderson, that bas-Whoa-What? What did you see now? Please don't be that Christmas party picture...-JW
* EVERYONE can see the Christmas Party picture. Anderson found a projector. -Greg
- Right. I'm going to kill Anderson. -JW
* Umm... You better avoid the Yard for a couple of days. -Greg
- Sherlock? I'm not coming back for a while. I'm going to get smashed at the pub and be arrested for the murder of Anderson. -JW
* Don't be obvious. -SH
- Thank for the tip, Greg. -JW
- Obvious? Maybe, but damn well worth it. -JW
* Remember to get the powder burns off your hands. -SH
- Of course. Can't be sloppy. -JW
* Mycroft can, of course, dispose of all arrest records. -SH
- I doubt it. He helped in this whole ordeal. -JW
* *Number Blocked* I hear you may need your records wiped
- I might. Why would help me after what you did? There's no gain in it for you. -JW
* *Number Blocked* Oh there will be a gain... later
- What gain, Mycroft? -JW
* *Number Blocked* Legwork
- I thought Sherlock is already helping you out on a case. Well...until he blew up the microwave. -JW
* *Number Blocked* At a later date then. You are the only person who can convince him to take one of my "boring" cases
- Your resources might be getting rusty. He hardly listens to me. I barely manage to get him to eat on a daily base.-JW
* *Number Blocked* Your opinion matters more than you think. Enjoy your night Dr. Watson
- Smashed? Of course. -JW
* John, you may want to avoid the Yard for a few weeks. -Greg
- I moved up to weeks? Hooray for me. Guess Sherlock's on his own for the time being, then. -JW
* Make that at least a month. -Greg
- Dammit! -JW
- Sherlock you're on your own. I can't go to Scotland Yard for at least a month now. -JW
* John. They won't work with me. -SH
- They will not be kind on the jokes and remarks if I show. I'm sorry, but I just...can't. -JW
- You'll do fine. How did you fair before I came along? Someone had to work with you, right? -JW
* Not exactly -SH
- Oh...who was it? -JW
* He quit. -SH
* Was smarter than Anderson though.-SH
* Still an Idiot-SH
- Of course he was. No one can live up to your standards, can they? Though that was a bit much. You're not that bad. He didn't have to quit because of you. -JW
- But I can't go back. Not until this dies out. -JW
- I don't think killing Anderson will help anymore. -JW
* Of course it will, you'll be ridding the world of stupidity-SH
- Not the point. How can I ever return there? My life has been ruined, by stupid pictures -JW
* It will blow over, I suppose. -SH
- Until then, I'm sorry. Tell me how the cases go so I can write them up on my blog. -JW
* John, you focus too much on the unnecessary details... I will be happy to proofread, of course. -SH
- I will let you proofread, but you can't change anything. -JW
* That defeats the purpose of the proofreading. -SH
- I know. -JW
- That's the point. -JW
* Good night John. -SH
- Night, Sherlock. -JW
