I wrote this a long time ago as a birthday gift for one of my real life friends. I'm not very good in humor, so this might not come out right.

WARNING: Very, very OOC.

WHEN PUPPIES RULE THE WORLD

I don't understand women at all. They're mad, then they're happy—then they're mad again! I mean, I haven't even done anything yet! But no, Mikan has to release her stress on the guy who has always been there for her, helping her up when she trips over something invisible, buying her howalon whenever she feels like eating them, and taking care of her when she gets sick—ME!

Women live in their dreams. They dream of diamonds, cute little puppies and stuffed toys. Then when they wake up, they expect us guys to make their dreams into reality. How could a student in his fifteenth year of living could save up enough money to afford diamonds? And I doubt they have them here in this wretched academy. And do you think I'd go inside a shop and say "Can you get me that cute stuffed toy up there?" And I wouldn't even dare say it's for my girlfriend.

But when you don't do what they want, they say something like "I'm breaking up with you!" We, the manly and strong guys, took the liberty of asking them out and they have the nerve to say this! Honestly, they are just too fond of themselves.

And what is up with the "cute little" eyes those darn things have [a.k.a puppies]? Girls swoon over them. What about us? What about the human beings? We even have THUMBS! Oh, okay, fine, maybe I shouldn't classify things by their thumbs. But honestly, I think that someday, puppies are going to rule the world. With women as their slaves.

And I am not crazy, so don't give me that look in your eyes. I mean, why can't they rule the world? We humans are the same as them—animals. Maybe you don't know it, but we are animals; scientists simply classified us as the highest kind. But, hell, those Canis lupus familiaris could change the world as we know it.

They'd parade on the streets, with diamonds and stuffed toys and women— completely oblivious to what they are doing because they are possessed by the "cute little" eyes-will be by their side, feeding them grapes. If they eat grapes. And when that time comes, we humans, will only have two things superior than them: We can walk on two feet and can talk. And them? They have diamonds and stuffed toys and slave women and sharpeners and grapes.

I now proclaim that I have a grudge on them. I don't even care if my best friend has the Animal Pheromone Alice. I hate them. I loathe them.

"Natsume, look! It's a cute little harmless puppy!" Mikan squealed, picking up the disgusting thing.

I unconsciously responded with "Harmless my foot! That darn thing is going to RULE THE WORLD AND MAKE WOMEN HIS SLAVES one day!"

Mikan stared at me, hugging the puppy. "Natsume, are you still mad about earlier?"

She walked away, holding the puppy close to her chest. Pervert, little dog.

"Because you shouldn't really your anger on a harmless little puppy."

And I swear that horrible things smirked at me.

A/n: Was it weird? Was it too OOC? Tell me-Review! :)