For You


A shallow knock sounded at Uhura's door and she looked up from the PADD she was currently browsing through. Her eyes shined with confusion; she had not been expecting anyone.

"Computer, unlock door," she ordered in a soft, tired voice. It was late at night and, in minutes, she was going to head to bed. Now she had to wait because someone had decided 2300 hours was a good time for visiting.

When the door swished opened, Spock stood on the other side. Right then, all annoyance melted away and a tiny smile curved her lips upwards.

"Spock," she said, "Come in. What're you doing here so late? Where's Jim? Aren't you two...?"

But Spock cut her off as he stepped inside, the door swishing shut behind.

"That is why I came here," Spock explained.

Uhura gave him a look of confusion. "What is it, Spock? Has something happened?"

"Yes."

"Yes?" Uhura repeated. "Spock, what is it? Where's Jim?"

Spock shook his head, closed his eyes, and reopened them. There was something odd that tinted his usually dark, emotionless eyes. "I do not know. That is why I came here, Nyota."

"Jim's missing?" Uhura's voice rose slightly with the growing panic that swelled in her chest, and caused her heart to beat faster. If something had happened...

She clenched her fists.

"Spock, when was the last time you saw him."

Spock closed his eyes as the memory played back.

It was before his shift started, and he was in the medbay. Jim was getting his hand bandaged up, because he had injured it when they were down on the planet K'tyu. Something warm washed over him when he remembered the delicate moment they shared before being separated.

There had been soft words spoken, and Jim's warm body pressed safely against Spock's chest. There had been kisses, and caresses and just the thought that moment made Spock long for Jim - his presence, his touch, his everything.

"Spock?"

"The last I saw him was the medbay," Spock explained.

"The medbay?" Uhura repeated, and Spock gave her a curt nod. "Then, let's go."


They had not found Jim at the medbay, but when Spock returned to his quarters, Jim was present.

A warm feeling washed through him then, as he stepped into the dimmed room with the door closing behind him.

"Jim," Spock said. "You are here. Where have you been?"

But Jim did not respond. He merely looked up at Spock with widen blue eyes.

That's when Spock took a closer look at him, and actually saw his appearance.

He sat at the edge of the bed, with legs pulled close to his chest and arms wrapped tightly around them. Even in the dim light, Spock saw how pale Jim's usually toned skin was, and how messed his blonde hair looked. Besides that, his shirt was right-side-in and stains were visible; stains that smelled purely of another.

"Jim? What has happened?"

Spock took a step forward, to go and comfort his obviously distressed mate, but Jim shook his head.

"No," he ordered in a rough, scratchy voice. "Please, I don't -"

He shook his head and buried his head into his legs.

"Jim, what is the matter?" Anger burned hot as coals inside Spock as realization hit.

Someone had dared harmed his mate. Some filthy being had set their scent upon Jim's. This was not supposed to happen. It was not...

A growl, low and deep, vibrated inside Spock's throat.

"Jim," Spock said, "Tell me who it was."

"You'll hate me." Jim sounded on the verge of tears. It nearly killed Spock that he could do nothing for comfort. He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth.

"Illogical. I will not, could not, hate you," Spock reassured. "Jim, you are my t'hy'la, I could never hate you. Jim, for me to help you, you need to tell me whom it was that harmed you."

A sob shook Jim's fragile body, yet he did not move to look up.

He took a deep breath, though it did nothing to help calm his nerves. Finally, he whispered in a voice so quiet, that only Spock would be able to hear, "Me..."

There was silence; before Spock squared his shoulders and tightened his fists.

"Illogical. You cannot -"

"No, Spock," Jim whispered as he fought another cry of pain and suffering. "It was me. I did this to myself. It was my entire fault, Spock. I should never have kissed back. Maybe if I never had, this would never have happened."

"You -?"

"Yes, Spock; it was me. There is no one to punish but me. I was the one who kissed back, who made the first move. Punish me, not him."

"Him?" Spock questioned. His anger was quickly transforming into rage, pure and unsteadying.

How dare he! How dare his t'hy'la do something so... unacceptable! Spock had trusted Jim with his love. Yet, now, he dirtied it. Jim dirtied that love meant for him and only him and tainted it with another man.

Jim took in a gulping breath before he said in his broken, hoarse voice, "B- Bones..."

Another growl escaped Spock's throat as he stared at Jim.

Why had t'hy'la disobeyed? Why had he fallen for another? This wasn't supposed to happen. When a couple were t'hy'la, they were meant to be forever. Now that forever was broken and Jim was taken, what would Spock do now?

"Jim," Spock growled out, "I... can no longer call you t'hy'la. Once my mate has been touched by another, we cannot stay together. You knew this before, Jim. Why did you do what you did?"

Jim looked up with a face of absolute devastation. Tears shined in his eyes just for an instant before they slid fast down his paled face. "Please, Spock, no!" he begged with his rough, hoarse voice. "Please, I still love you. I've only made a mistake; a fucking stupid mistake. Please, don't do this... Please..."

"I apologize, Jim, but I cannot. the Vulcan way and I must follow it. I am sure Doctor McCoy would trust you with his love, but I can say that I no longer can."

And, with that, Spock turned to leave with the door sliding shut behind him.

The only sound which remained was the sound of Jim's soft cries, and his hushed please for Spock's return.


-hides-

Please, don't kill me!

I fear that I've made Spock way too harsh. What do you think?

And, yes, this is going to get angsty and suspenseful. For those of you who want warnings, here -

Warnings - Language, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, and, of course, some good 'ol sex scenes (by good 'ol, I mean, my terrible sex-scene writing :3)

Well, that's it for now. I hope you enjoy it, and please review!

Peace,

XiongYi