Summary: Ranma is pissed. His new fanfic got low hits and zero review and on top of that, a friend and fellow author just drop a big secret that the whole fanfiction dot net community has bent hiding from him. My tribute to fanfiction dot net.
'Ranma: A working title. ' by Krimzonrayne, akai kou hana.
Prologue: A death (or serious maiming) of a friend.
Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ nor Fanfiction dot net, any of the fanfics or their author mentioned here.
Author's note: This is my tribute to fanfiction dot net, a website that has a huge impact on my life and probably what prompt me to become a writer in the first place. A fellow author is being used here with his consent, though; I think he'll learn to regret it… Muah ha ha.
Although, I haven't asked Tri-Matter yet… oh well
Anyway here it is.
--- TT ---
In the dark and forgotten space that was the Tendo's old broom closet, Ranma sat uncomfortably starring at the bright LCD he was cradling in his lap. He was tapping his fingers impatiently as if he was waiting for something.
"Come on, come on." He urged the laptop computer on. "This has always works before, don't fail me now!"
His prayers must've been heard because a second later a single beep indicated that whatever he was waiting for had occurred.
Connected to a Wireless network; speed: 54.0 Mbps, connection: Excellent
"Yes!" He screamed silently, wondering how the heck he did it as he did it. After all such statement is illogical and doesn't make any sense. Then he remembered. "Ah… oxymoron… I remember now."
Ranma shook his head, he got to stay focus. The darn ASUS he bought has only 3 hours battery life when fully charged and at the moment it was only at 11 percent! That's only like…
The pig tailed boy brought up the calculator.
"Let see, hundred and eighty minutes times zero point one one… nineteen point eight minutes left?!?!"
"This sucks, I better hurry up." Ranma grumbled to himself, clicking on the Firefox short cut on his desktop. He gave a small giggle… no that's not right, chuckle, yeah chuckle…
Anyway, he gave himself a small chuckle once again. It always makes him felt evil when he uses the unsuspecting neighbor wireless net. He could hardly blame them for not putting any sort of protection on it, after all this IS the Tendo dojo you're talking about. It's not like anyone would know how to piggy back a wireless net connection… well Nabiki could but she doesn't have a wireless net setup.
His computer beeped once again, popping up a box that said there's only 15 minutes of battery left.
"Crap!" The martial artist uttered a curse, snapping out of his egomaniacal reverie. His finger danced across the laptop's built-in keyboard, typing at an insane rate. Aside from the fact that it was always a good attack, for Ranma, the chest nut fist was much more useful for things like typing or button mashing in game arcades.
A pop up appeared and was promptly obliterate by the boy's combination attack of Alt – Tab and Alt – F4. It gave a silent cry of "Congratulation you're the 9,999 vis…" before it died.
Ranma paid it no mind and called up the window he was typing in before. He gave it another glance. It read:
username: lordwildhors
password:
The pig tailed boy quickly filled in the rest of his e-mail address and password before tapping the enter key impatiently. It took a small while to load the page with such slow connection but he couldn't complain; he was using it for free.
"Finally…" He grumbled, clicking on the word stat on the left side of the window. He looked at the numbers and frown. "What! Only 600 hits? And no review?!?!"
"Damn it! This sucks, this is… intolerable!" The boy paused as if he was considering his words carefully. Although, it was a moot point because no one was listening to him anyway.
Right?
The laptop beeped again, interrupting his mental questioning once again. It was probably for the better, he shouldn't be doing that anyway. Some says it makes him crazy… Blah, those fools, as if Saotome Ranma could get even more insane than he already is!
Hm… he's referring to himself in third person again, this is a troubling sign.
The screen shook, bringing the boy's attention back to the matter at hand… or rather, in hands since he was holding the portable computer. He moved the curser to click on the beeping taskbar.
"Oi! Horsey! Are you awake over there?" The MSN message read.
Ranma blinked and glanced at the name. It was Materia's Blade, his pen-friend and a fellow author. His stuff about Wheel of Time was nothing short of amazing and he's a great friend to boot.
He smiled, remembering all the time he'd bitched about his life at the guy and he'd just listen and talk him through it.
"What's up man? How's it hanging?" The boy typed in his reply and tapped 'enter' to send it. He hated using foreign lingo but… Okay so he got no excuse, so what? Sue him! But you can't can you? Cause he's a good writer who always put up disclaimers!
"N… Not w…well at all man…" Materia's blade croaked out his reply… wait a sec! They're typing, how the heck does he 'croak out' his reply?!?! And beside that was more like stutter anyway. On other note, how do you even do a 'croak' sound effect using words anyway?
"Hey! Are you even listening?!" Ranma's friend's words came again. The boy quickly responded with a simple yes, he sounded mad for some reason.
"A… As I've said b… before I'm not well at all…." He send the words over again, his tone was back to croaking as well.
"………"
"………"
"………"
Ranma sweat dropped as he watched the third lines of dots appeared on the chat window. Stupid, annoying Ctrl – V.
"…Em… So anything I can do for you?" The raven haired boy typed back, realizing that this was what his friend was inking toward.
"MO! There's nothing you can do for me now! I've make my decision and I must suffer my consequences, I'm in God's hands now." Came the dramatic reply almost immediately. The sneaky bastard probably had it typed up and just pressed 'enter' a second after he sent his. Wait a sec… mo?
Silence.
"NO! p.s. MO! was a typo."
Silence.
Ranma sighed. Seeing that his friend was going to be forth coming with his answers, he decided to bite the bait and typed.
"So what DID you do this time?"
"I don't want to say... Save that it didn't warrant the consequences I've received. The consequences which were truly horrifying, so much so that your so-called adventures don't even come close."
Ranma blinked again, wow three lines, that was long. He killed the thought and began twitching. Of course he wanted to say, but he's just wanted me to ask him to.
"Are you sure I can't help you? I've killed a god, you know." The boy typed expecting his friend to take it as a joke like always. They were writers after all; they knew how wild each other's imaginations are.
"I know my friend, but there's only so much a man can do against a PMSing girlfriend." Materia's blade replied soberly.
'Whoa' Ranma thought. 'He actually sounded like he was on his dead bed.'
"My time has come, my dearest of friends; grieve not for my but for my cats, for while I'll die a swift horrible death, they die a slow lingering death by starvation…"
The pig tailed boy began sweat stopping anew. Wow, that was certainly an… interesting… way to look at it.
"…but before I depart for the after life, I have but one small secret to share with you, …Ranma, I'm your father…"
"LOL Ha ha ha, that was a great one, dude. For a moment there I thought you were serious…" Ranma paused, realizing what exactly his friend just wrote. "WTF, How the hell did you know my name?!?!"
"Yeah I know, that was a great one wasn't it? About your name… I can't explain it now, we don't have enough time."
"Why not!" Two words, six letters, eight keys; Ranma didn't even have to look away from the screen for that one.
"Because you're about to run out of battery, baka. Just accept this file I'm sending over to you, it'll explain things a bit."
The pig tailed boy paused, how the heck did he know that? This is just like the Matrix!
Ranma smacked himself in the head.
"The Matrix isn't real, the Matrix isn't real, the Matrix isn't real; there's no one out there watching you, thinking about it will only fuel your obsession." The boy chanted the words to himself. Finished with what, he turned to his laptop once more.
And just as he was about to click accept and let the file be transfer; another line popped up. Reading it caused the martial artist eyes to twitch. It said:
"At least I think so anyway. Oh well…"
The irritated boy started to type an angry respond but just as he was about to click send the window stated that the file has been completely downloaded. In that very same moment, as if it wasn't ironic enough, Ranma's laptop beeped once more before it died.
"You got to be kidding." The boy dead panned, starring unerringly at the black screen.
"This sucks" He repeated for what must've bent the hundredth time that day, getting the feeling it won't be the last. He stood up and, without the light from the screen, managed to bang his head against something.
"Owie… this sucks."
Hm… I should start using better words, this isn't improving my English or writing skill any and Saotome Ranma doesn't suck at writing,
Hm… third person thing again… he really should stop before he become another Kuno.
--- TT ---
In the blurred line between reality and fiction, caused by the limitless imaginary of its dweller (though, his mother always says it's because of the amount of garbage he left lying around) an actually plot was hatching.
Yes, an actually plot.
"MATERIA'S BLADE!!!" A loud yelled thundered out, it sounded as if three people were speaking as one. The young author spun around on his tri-wheeled chair and found himself starring at three medieval-looking armored knights.
"This is impossible!" He exclaimed; his eyes widened and then narrowed as a glint of recognition came into his eyes. "You're the knights of the true fiancées?!?!"
"NO!" The shouted as one, again! All this shouting was starting to get on his nerve. "Stop getting us confused with those guys, we're the servant of Tri-Matter, the famed author of Aftermath and a loyal supporter of Fanfic Dot Net!"
"And YOU!"
"Don't point! It's rude!" The young adult yelled right back. Punctuate! Take that! …Oh did I actually say that out loud?
Silence.
"Right… where were we? Ah yes… and YOU! You have violated the fifty second protocol; alerting an Anime character of his/her fictionality."
"How could you accuse me of such horrible crime?" Materia gasped. He had a sudden brain flash, spun around to face his computer and quickly typed in a word. It was underlined red after he pressed 'space'. "And fictionality isn't even a word!"
"Oh right, pardon us. We meant to say fictionous nature."
"Nope, doesn't work either." The author said without turning around.
"How about… Hey! Shut up, we're not here to banter with you about our command of English! You coming with us or we'll destroy you!"
"WHAT! Destroy me? You guys are such a friendly bunch, aren't you?" Materia's blade suddenly started smirking. The trio saw this and realized he was mocking them.
"If you want me, come get me!" The young author taunted, still looking at his computer.
Just as the three knights lunged at him, Materia's blade's index finger came down on the 'enter' key with a note of finality.
--- TT ---
Ranma was pissed. Not that way of course, he's a martial artist after all, and martial artist don't drink.
At least not until they could do it legally anyway.
No, the reason of Ranma's piss-siness didn't come from alcohol. It came from the fact that he was being chased by his three fiancées once again. Now, normally he wouldn't have minded it so much, having three hot babes vying for your attention is, after all, every teenage boy's fantasy. But today he got something else on his mind. Something he couldn't take a look at if these three were with him.
He thought about his laptop which was securely hidden in his room and then how long it would take him to shake these girls off.
"This sucks." He muttered with a sigh.
--- TT ---
Author's note:
A silly idea, it's will probably encompass every writer on Fanfiction dot Net that I knew, hopefully none of them would mine.
If any of the said author read this and DO mine, contact me, I'll remove your name.
Oh and Review if you wish, I'd feel better about myself.
Preview:
Think Ranma, what do people do in Anime? What is it that can help me defeat him?
"Of course!" The boy suddenly shouted, smacking his fist against his palm. He craned his neck to look up at the monster and shouted. "Hey Pansuto, do you know what my middle name is?"
He ran up to it just as it shook its head. "That's…. a secret!" He cried out, causing the towering monster to
…face fault?
The pig tailed boy quickly took the advantage of his downed enemy and beat it to pulp while his rivals and fiancées stared in confusion.
