NOTHING'S THE SAME ANYMORE: PART 3
The call came at 11:30 that night. Ianto had been expecting it of course. He had made a point of being at home to receive it, though it was later than anticipated. He lifted the handset from the cradle and spoke immediately.
"Hi Tosh."
He'd sacrificed a date with Jack for this, it was the least he could do. Ianto listened to her blubbery tears, she had been unable to speak.
"I'll be there shortly and don't worry I'll let myself in, you just stay there." He said gently. He hung up and grabbing his coat and keys he left his flat and walked the twenty minutes to Tosh's house. He was too tired to drive safely.
Jack leant back in his chair and stretched. It was 2am and he had only just finished writing up the report on the Tommy affair. It had been a long couple of days and memories that he wanted buried refused to stay that way. The 'Great War' had probably been the darkest time of his life, even now almost 90 years later and it was etched behind his vision with such clarity that he felt sick. He had never witnessed Death on a scale like it. It hadn't been sanitised and clinical either as he recalled wading up to his knees in filth and diseased trenches, not to mention the fallen. It still horrified him to think that men were capable of such terrible acts. Tommy had died for the sake of the future and Jack knew it was a better one. Humans had changed even though the young soldier had said he couldn't see much evidence of it, war was still being fought. War was war no matter when and where you were, some things didn't change after all. His thoughts strayed back to Ianto, how would he have coped back then, with his mild nature and willingness to believe that all people were inherently good deep down. Would Ianto have killed to stay alive? Jack doubted it very much. He was grateful that Ianto had not had to live through such times, grateful for all of his team really. Fighting the things that came through the Rift was one thing, a battlefield was an entirely different matter altogether. Closing the folder in front of him Jack got to his feet and went in search of a cup of coffee. Ianto had left him a pot on the go when he had left at 10pm. Jack was wondering about that. Ianto had cancelled their planned date saying he had to be ready for Tosh's call, at first Jack hadn't understood, but at mid night he'd received a text from Ianto.
AT TOSH'S PLACE, CALL ME ON MY CELL IF YOU NEED ME. I x
Ianto was doing what he always did, looking after the team. Jack was well aware of Tosh's place in Ianto's heart, he wouldn't begrudge her that, the two of them were very close friends and Ianto had known she would need him, so Ianto had flagged his own needs to be there for her. It was one of the things that Jack had come to love about the young man, his deep compassion and innate ability to know when someone needed help, a cuddle, coffee, a pizza and even a telling off. Ianto was just perfect really, well Jack thought so anyway. Jack wasn't certain why it had taken him so long to figure it all out. Both he and Ianto were still edging around one another cautiously, after all Jack had only been back for four months now. Ianto was still weary and was yet to let Jack into his bed. That was getting a bit frustrating, but Jack knew he had to go along with what Ianto wanted for now at least. They'd made some progress though, talked about their feelings, even snogged (Jack hated that word) a few times. But Ianto maintained a polite distance, still not confident enough to let Jack get too close. The coffee was as wonderful as ever and Jack retreated back to his office and a back log of emailed reports from UNIT that he needed to look over.
Ianto awoke with a sore neck. Tosh's couch was just not long enough for a good stretch and Ianto had settled his head on the arm at 5am in the hopes of a couple of hours napping. He'd overslept with painful results and three text messages from Jack, all asking him if everything was OK. He was vaguely aware of Tosh padding around the lounge in her fluffy dressing gown as he sat up and rubbed at the painful spot.
"Morning Ianto. I've put the coffee on." She came and sat beside him wrapping her arms around one of his.
"Thank you." She kissed his cheek. "I rang Jack told him we'd be in for 11."
"Was he alright?"
Tosh nodded. "He was fine. Things are quiet and Gwen and Owen are in so they can cope with out us for another hour or two."
Ianto smiled at the thought of Owen coping with out his early morning coffee fix. He leant back and closed his eyes.
"I should go home and get a shower."
"Well give me a minute and I'll drive you there, then we can go into the Hub together from yours."
Ianto nodded. "Sounds like a plan."
But Tosh didn't move, she just snuggled against him. "I didn't ruin any plans for you last night, did I?"
Ianto slid his arm over her shoulder and hugged her close. "No, it was just me and an Indian take out, why?"
"I just thought, you and Jack. I mean are you two?"
She felt Ianto tense up beside her. "I don't know Tosh. I mean we've talked, since he got back. I just...I don't know."
"He loves you Ianto."
"He loves all of us Tosh, Jack doesn't do being in love and with what he has to face I don't blame him."
Tosh squirmed round to look into her friend's face.
"I don't understand."
"He won't die. He will see everyone he ever cares about pass away. I can't imagine how hard that must be. If he fell in love with me and then I died, how would that make him feel? You know how much it hurts, I can't put him through that."
"I don't think that's your choice Ianto. You love him don't you?"
Ianto couldn't meet her gaze. "With all my heart Tosh."
"Then don't waste it, be there for him because it's better to have that and keep the memories than to have nothing at all. It's why I had that night with Tommy. I'm sad right now, but I wouldn't change what I did."
Ianto kissed the top of her head. "Do you really think we stand a chance of being happy together?"
"Yes, Ianto I do, so long as Gwen keeps out of the way."
Ianto rolled his eyes. "It's Rhys I feel for, she must be such a handful. It must be hard for them, him not knowing what she does, I don't think I could live like that."
"Bloody Torchwood."
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Ianto stared at the stack of folders on his desk deciding straight away that he didn't like them. However he needed to look at them, old cases that had not been resolved, some of them dating back twenty years. He had finally gone through all of the paper records in the archive and these were now the only outstanding ones that would take time to finalise. Ianto didn't really mind that much, it meant he had to do a little investigating of his own from the safety of the Hub. His job really, archivist/researcher extraordinaire. However the coffee would have to be made first if he wanted his life to be worth living. Owen was in a particularly nasty mood after putting down that whale a few days before. Ianto understood why, the whole event had affected them all deeply for entirely separate reasons. Owen had not wanted to commit euthanasia, Jack had been determined to save the creature as well but had also had to deal with Gwen's ridiculous behaviour. Ianto had stared down the barrel of yet another gun expecting the end, he'd quite literally dodged the bullet. After the lengthy clean-up operation Jack had sent the others home and dragged Ianto down to his bunker. Jack had just taken him without asking, needing the reassurance that Ianto was in fact alive and unharmed, and Ianto hadn't protested because he needed to know that he was still alive himself. It had been their first time in bed together since Jack's return. Ianto was still aching from it and he was sure Jack was too but he had to admit it had been the most amazing sex they had shared together.
Ianto found Jack at the coffee machine, gazing at it with a peculiar expression on his face. Guilt. Ianto frowned at him.
"Please tell me that you haven't tried to make coffee?"
Jack shrugged helplessly then stepped forward gathering Ianto into a tight embrace and planting a very distracting kiss to his lips. He edged Ianto back against the wall giving him no room to move away. Ianto was smiling at him but gave up trying to speak when Jack stuck his tongue into his mouth. His hands found their way under Ianto's shirt and he found himself doing the same to Jack without even thinking, really Ianto could you at least wait until after office hours!
Did someone just say that?
"Oi, you two. Not over the counter I have to get my lunch ready in there!" Owen actually shrieked. Ianto and Jack both turned to face the medic with startled open mouthed expressions on their faces.
"You two are gross, take it to the archives or your office where sweet innocent souls such as mine can't be corrupted."
Jack offered him a wicked grin and grabbed Ianto's hand and dragged him out of the kitchenette.
"Your wish...."
Owen was gob smacked he had been joking after all.
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Ianto pulled on his shirt and trousers and climbed up the ladder to Jack's office. Jack was there talking to a blonde guy that he had never seen before. A hand was reached out toward him and Ianto grasped it.
"Hey Ianto. You owe me a beer remember?"
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Ianto lurched up out of his bed and ran to the bathroom. Rather startled by the young man's hasty exit Jack got up and followed him, only discover that Ianto was throwing up again. Jack sat on the tiled floor beside him and rubbed his back.
"Another night mare?"
Ianto nodded.
"Same dream?"
He nodded again before emptying the rest of the contents of his stomach into the toilet.
"I'm ordering you to see Owen about this in the morning."
Ianto didn't see the point in arguing. A cold damp flannel was placed against the back of his neck. "Thank you Jack."
"No problem. Better now?"
Ianto leant back against the wall. "Yep." He was breathing heavily, his body aching from the exertion of being sick. He looked worried and Jack gently fussed with his damp hair.
"Can I ask you something Jack?"
"Anything. You know that."
Ianto shifted his position slightly so he could look straight into Jack's face. "Am I a bad person?"
Jack's jaw dropped. "No. Whatever makes you ask such a thing?"
"These dreams Jack. They are horrible. It's like I am some sicko when I am asleep, living out some perverted fantasy or something."
"We've been over this. You would NEVER harm anyone like that, don't even think it Ianto. I know you. I wouldn't love you if I thought you were that kind of person." Jack grasped his arms and pulled him into a tight if awkward embrace being where they were on the bathroom floor."
"I just wish I knew what had happened."
Jack ran his fingers through Ianto's hair. "You are a good person Ianto and I love you so much. I need you to believe better of yourself."
"I'll try to Jack. I just don't understand why these things are suddenly happening to me. I've never had dreams like this before. What if I really did do something bad?"
Jack pulled away from him to enable eye contact, he was shocked by the apparent dark circles under Ianto's chaotic blue eyes. He gently traced his fingertips over the young man's pale face.
"Trust me. You did nothing wrong. Like Owen said, it's the effects of the Retcon, we've all been a bit weirded out by what happened. If you can't believe yourself, then believe me, please."
Ianto managed to pull a smile out from somewhere. "I don't know what I'd do without you Jack."
"I don't know what I'd do without you either. Come on, let's get you cleaned up."
Wtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwt
Jack looked up from his paperwork at the sound of someone tapping on the door. Martha entered, a bright smile gracing her beautiful face and a mug of coffee in her hand.
"Ianto thought you might like this."
Jack reached out and took the drink.
"My saviour."
"Him or me?"
Jack grinned. "Both of you."
Martha closed the door and settled herself down in the chair opposite him. "I've just been talking to Ianto." Her smile widened mischeviously.
"Oh yes?"
She leant forward in her seat. "Are you serious about him?"
Jack froze the mug half way to his lips. "Why do you ask?"
Martha sighed a distant look on her face as the smile dropped away. "I remember him, from 'that year'."
Jack's eyes widened slightly. "Go on."
"I met him in Russia. He drove me right across into Eastern Europe through Germany and to the French border. Four months he looked after me, watched my back, got me food, allowed me to sleep, took my orders and finally a bullet to protect me."
Jack's face paled visibly. "What happened?"
"Someone sold us out to the Master. He hid me in a secret compartment in his truck and of course I had the perception filter as well. The Toclofane shot him, for no good reason really, other than the fact that they could. He was wearing this."
She removed from her neck a leather string to which was attached a battered brass button with an eagle emblem of the RAF embossed on it. She handed to Jack.
"He said it was a missing button from a coat that belonged to someone he loved, some one called Jack. I just didn't connect Jack, until I saw him. I was still wearing this when the paradox was corrected and somehow it's still here." Martha glanced over her shoulder where she could see Ianto and Gwen leaning over a computer terminal.
"He's a good man Jack." Tears rolled down her cheeks. "So many faces that I remember from that year. Tom, Emma, Ianto and Jake. People that gave their lives for me..." Martha wiped at her face. "So are you serious about him?"
Their eyes met.
"I love him Martha, he is the reason why I came back."
"The Welsh Tea Boy?"
Jack nodded. "While I was on the Valiant, well I had time to figure a few things out, and Ianto Jones was one of them. So yes I'm serious about him. He is the reason why I come back from the dead, though I do my best not to get killed these days, because it really upsets him." He said with a smile.
"I'm glad Jack, for both of you, just don't lose sight of it because he loves you so much...."
"I know he does." Jack got up from his seat. "I'll be back in a moment." He left the office and Martha watched what happened next from the window. Jack stepped down into the main area of the Hub.
"Ianto?"
Ianto looked up from the screen he and Gwen were studying. "Yes Jack?"
Jack gave him a 'come hither' gesture with a slightly lascivious glint in his eyes and Ianto did his special eye roll in response but wandered over anyway. Gwen and Tosh had both looked up from their work as Jack pulled the surprised Welshman into a fierce hug and kissed him on the lips. Ianto automatically slid his hands around Jack's waist savouring the scent and taste of his lover really for once in his life not caring what the others thought of their display. Jack finally drew back and let him go and went back to his office to finish his conversation with Martha. Leaving a breathless Ianto with a warm, bemused smile on his pale face.
"Next time, for fuck's sake warn me when you do that!" Owen shouted from the autopsy bay. "I'll need counselling for weeks after seeing that!"
