Disclaimer: I do not own gravitation.
Warning: Language and mention of rape.
A chill settled in the air as dusk approached. The last of the family had already gone home over half an hour beforehand, leaving behind an almost unnatural silence. On a small patch of grass, a young boy, no older than six years old, stood with his hands folded to his chest. He stared longingly at the three flat markers on the ground. He carefully read the inscriptions again, having lost himself in the words many hours ago. Each marker held its' own, special name, lovingly carved into the stone. "Shindo Shinri", "Shindo Mira, and "Shindo Maiko".
From behind him, a middle-aged woman approached. She gently laid a hand on his shoulder as a means of comfort. Her heart ached as she watched the gentle boy, who was lost in thought. She could not even imagine what he was thinking at this point. What could such a young and innocent boy be feeling to know that his family was gone forever? Did he even realize? Could he understand what it meant to die?
As if to respond to her unspoken question, the young boy turned his head in her direction. His soft amethyst eyes gazed into her dark brown ones. "Mitzu-san, when are they going to wake up?" he asked, cocking his head a little to the side.
Mitzu Akia had to avert her eyes foward to stifle a sob. After just a moment in order to compose herself in front of the angel, she replied softly, "Shuichi-kun...I'm afraid that they aren't going to wake up. T-They loved...love you so very much, but you can't s-see them anymore. They are...in a better place now."
The boy, Shuichi, looked off into the distance, eyes glazed, as if deep in thought. After thinking about what his new friend had said, he turned once more to look at the stones that lay flat on the grass. "Well, then I guess if they are in a better place, then they must be happy right? Then I will be happy for them too, but I wish I could see them again, or that I could have gone with them."
She did not respond to the question. Rather, she gently took his hand and began to lead him away towards her car. Being a child welfare worker, she has had a lot of hands-on experience with broken families and orphans, but that did not make it hurt any less in a situation like this. Each case was unique, and she could not help but feel sorrow for the boy left behind. He was lucky, actually. He had been in school when the accident happened, otherwise he would have shared the same fate. His future now, however, was filled with uncertainty. She knew she would now have to follow procedure and take him to the orphanage. She felt a pang of anger towards his remaining family. With how many people showed up to mourn their loss, no one was willing to take Shuichi in. No one wanted the responsibility to care for him. Now he would have to spend his time at the orphanage waiting, hoping, that someone would be willing to adopt or foster him.
As she helped him into her car, she could not help but wonder if someone would take him in. There were many children 'available' for adoption, but few ever were taken into a permanent home. His features alone would make it very difficult. With how rigid today's society was on appearances, one would see his soft pink locks, amethyst eyes, and petite features as a fault, one that an "upstanding" family would not permit themselves being related to.
Breaking from her train of thoughts, she gently shut the passenger door and walked around to the drivers side. Climbing into the seat and locking her door, she turned towards Shuichi, who met her gaze, and gave him an encouraging smile before pulling away from the cemetary.
The next few years went by very quickly for Shuichi. He made friends easily at the orphanage and in school. His open and happy personality made him very approachable and the light he gave with his smile lifted eaven the gloomiest of spirits. He became a favorite of the child care workers and teachers, and no one could understand why he had lived at the home for so long.
Just after his eight birthday, however, he had taken the interest of a middle-class family who lived in a quiet area of Kyoto. Hideki Nao managed a textile company to support his wife, Sadae, and fifteen-year-old son, Aki. They were quickly attracted to Shuichis unusual beauty and exuberance. Within six months, they had taken him into their home.
The next couple of years were blissfully uneventful for the enlarged family. Shuichi was an ideal child, trying his best to please everyone around him. He did well in school and made a lot of friends, although he chose not to become very close to anyone in particular. He idolized his elder brother, however. Having only had a younger sister, whom he had really only been with for two short years prior to the accident, he never had a role model. Aki, however, became incredibly jealous after Shu's arrival in 'his' home. He detested him for so quickly gaining his parents affections with such little effort. It did not take long for Aki to make it his personal goal to, one day, break the innocent boy.
Shuichi quickly slid his key into the lock and opened the door. It was already past nine o'clock at night and was getting to be very chilly outside. His parents were gone for the weekend on a second honeymoon, leaving his older brother and himself with the house all to themselves. Having spent the day with one of his good friends, who happened to be just as hyperactive as himself, he was feeling tired and looked foward to curling up on the sofa and watching his favorite anime on t.v. until he went to bed.
He closed and locked the front door and kicked off his shoes to rest neatly nearby. Walking to the livingroom, he slid his jacket off and tossed it to the side. It was then he noticed the television in room was already on and he saw two figures sitting on the couch. He recognized one immediately as his brother and a smile formed on his face. Although Aki was often cruel to him, both verbally and physically (although his parents knew about neither), he still looked up to him. Aki was seventeen, a grown man to ten-year-old Shuichi. Shu hoped that one day he would be as strong and mature as his beloved brother.
Turning his eyes to glance at the figure sitting on the opposite side of the couch, his stomach clenched. Katsuki was someone he definately did not feel the least bit comfortable around. His eyes would always linger on Shuichi with an indiscernible emotion and a smirk. He was also much bigger than Shu and even more than Aki, although they were the same age. In other words, when Katsuki was around, Shu prefered not to be. With this thought, he decided to turn away from the room and head upstairs to his bedroom to watch television there instead.
"Hey Shuichi-kun," he heard a malicious voice speak up, stopping him in his tracks. Turning around, he found Katsuki looking at him from the sofa, staring at him with the usual appraising look. "Why don't you come and sit with us for a while?" His voice was somewhat fuzzy and slurred, but Shu did not understand why. Maybe he was tired? Yeah, Shu thought to himself, that's what he sounds like.
When Shuichi did not make a move, Aki turned angrily and spat, "Didn't you hear him, you little punk? Get your fucking ass over here." Hmm...he sounds kinda tired too. But he did not dare hesitate when Aki ordered him. A part of him still wanted to try and gain his brother's affection, and did whatever he wanted hoping to please him. It was this thought that spurred Shuichi to round the corner of the couch and stand in front of the two older boys. He noticed various empty cans scattered on the floor, he recognized them as beer cans. He could smell the alcohol lingering in the air, and he couldn't help but feel a little nauseated by it. He couldn't understand why they would be drinking this stuff, if it smelled this bad, then it must taste much worse.
A movement from the couch caught his attention again, and he looked up. Katsuki had shifted to the side, allowing a small space in between himself and Aki. He patted the spot beside him. "Come on and sit down, you can watch t.v. with us." Shuichi complied, part of him excited to be invited to sit with them, something never done before, but another part was apprehensive, wondering why he was being so nice.
They sat watching t.v. for a half hour or so in silence. Shu noticed Katsuki and Aki sharing quick glances every few minutes while they continued to drink. Shuichi became more relaxed as his body begged him for sleep. As his eyes started to drift closed, he felt something warm on his thigh, just above his knee. Looking down, it was Katsuki's hand. He felt the hand give a rough squeeze, and his eyes shot up. Katsuki's eyes were somewhat glazed and he was smirking as his hand began traveling higher up on his thigh. Shuichi did not like this at all, and was about to speak up when he felt a hand clamp over his mouth from behind, pulling his head back onto Aki's lap. His heart began to race and he froze in fear, not understanding what was going on.
Aki looked down at him with a mixture of amusement and...something else. He smirked. "Don't worry, Shu-chan. We just want to play a game with you."
Shuichi tried to cry out when he felt Katsuki's hand nearing his most private area, brushing his groin before proceeding to unbutton his jeans. When his jeans were pulled down along with his boxers, Shu felt overwhelmingly embarrassed and terrified. Why did they want to do this, what were they going to do? Shu could not think straight as he struggled to remove himself from their hands, but his small, tired body was not strong enough.
The events that followed were the very things that spurred Shuichi's nightmares in the following years. After that first time, he tried to tell himself that they were just not themselves due to the alcohol they drank, but that hope was quickly shattered time and time again. Keeping silent due to threat of harm and, what he thought more frightening, the threat that Aki would tell their parents what a "dirty little boy" Shu was. Not wanting to shame his parents, Shu did not tell a single person about the nightmare he was living. Under the guise of wanting to "bond" with his little brother, Aki dragged him to Katsuki's apartment, where he lived with two of his closest friends. Much of the free time he had outside of the school was spent there, nightmares relived as Aki practically fed him to Katsuki and his roommates. He had noticed on a few occasions, before falling unconscious from the pain, Aki receiving money from said 'friends'. It was not until he was older that the realization was made that the money was, in fact, payment for him - payment to use him.
This life continued for Shuichi for many years. His parents never suspected any wrongdoing because Aki forbade his companions to bruise his face, although the rest of him was fair game as long as nothing was broken. Nao and Sadae were, in fact, delighted to know that the brothers were so close, and therefore gave Shuichi an open curfew and few chores, as long as he was with his brother.
School had not been any easier. Due to his pink hair, violet eyes and feminine figure, (which remained even after puberty), he was often picked on and teased by his classmates. When he started high school, he was quickly made an outcast by the 'popular' kids. However, Shu did not mind this fact. He did not want to make friends, and isolated himself from those friends he had in middle school. He did not want to be near anyone. Since he had been twelve, he began to avoid any physical contact - aside from what was forced upon him by his brother. All he knew was that when people touched him, they hurt him. He did not know it any other way. Whether it was from being raped or from being beat up by his classmates, that is all he knew.
Shuichi realized pretty early on not to show his 'weaker' emotions to others, Crying in front of his brother and his friends only made the beating worse, and he certainly did not cry in front of his classmates. Instead, he chose to hide inside himself. The only emotion he could bring himself to show was anger and indifference. He would lash out at anyone who even casually touched him, as if the contact caused him actual pain. To him, it did cause him pain. Even if it was the psychological kind, he hurt all the same. Classmate quickly learned to keep their distance after he broke a couple boys' noses. He was easier on the girls, but even then one would still occasionally walk away with a bruise on her cheek. The only person who could be called a friend was a boy he met in his junior year, named Hiro. There was something about the tall, red-haired boy that was somewhat pleasant to him. He felt almost calm in the time he was around him. They were able to talk about music, school, and (on Hiro's end) family. He even found himself letting a ghost of a smile on his lips on occasion, hoping Hiro did not notice (he did). Even with that said, he still shied away from contact. Although deep down inside he knew Hiro would never hurt him, the fear that he could was much more forceful. Hiro often tried to get him to open up to him, but Shu refused, keeping his friend at arms-length. As much as a small part of him wanted to just jump up and hug his friend, his mind had already been conditioned.
On the outside he was hard, indifferent and emotionless, but on the inside was a different story. Fear still dominated his life. He still could not bring himself to stand up to Katsuki. His very presence would freeze the younger man, making it impossible to see past the terror he felt. He would cry out each and every time, even though only his mind heard it.
When Shuichi was seventeen, he finally caught a glimpse of hope. Aki and his parents were taking a trip to Europe. Shu did not go, telling his parents he did not want his grades to drop. Left alone, truly alone, for the first time, he did the first thing that came to his mind. He packed. Stuffing his few treasured possessions in a black duffle bag, he grabbed his passport and the money his parents had left him, and walked out of that house forever, leaving only a brief note saying goodbye. He caught a taxi to the airport and bought a one-way ticket to the U.S. Feeling elated for the first time in so many years, his mind drifted to his one and only friend. He would contact Hiro once he reached Los Angeles. He knew that he would need to explain his quick disappearance, and he felt that if he could tell anyone the truth, it would be him.
His mind made up, Shuichi boarded the plane, his savior, and decided that he would not look back.
TBC...
A.N. This is my first try at writing fanfiction. I am open to all comments and critisizm, but if you critisize, please leave your suggestions. Let me know if you want more. I do have a pretty good idea of how this story is going to go, but I am always open to opinion. Thanks! R & R.
