Black roses. As far as the eye can see. As far as anything can see. They hung from the ceiling. It was beautiful in a depressing sort of way. A piano played gently in the background. Sniffles and absent cries filled the room. I sat in the far back away from all their eyes. I didn't cry. I didn't sniffle. I didn't feel anything.

I felt bad. I crashed the kid's funeral and I didn't even know him. With all the media, tv specials, and news paper stories, it's hard not to 'know' him. Andy Carter was a boy like any other. Nineteen years old, blonde hair, blue eyes. Etc. He loved sports, school, and girls. He had a younger sister who adored him, and one older brother who wasn't in the picture. He lived in Tennessee all his life until he turned eighteen years old. He moved here with his mom and sister. His dad died of lung cancer when he was eight years old. Blah. Blah. They give you a whole lifetime story just to say, 'and now he's dead'. Blunt, I know. But the truth none the less.

A little girl, about eight or nine, stepped up to the podium to talk. She was wearing a semi sparkly black dress, and black heels. You know, the ones with half inch heels to make little kids feel adult? She quivered and looked at all the eyes looking at her. She had a few index cards in her hand. My guess is that she wrote down what she wanted to say so she wouldn't mess up.

"M-my brother was the best brother in the world," her speech started off. I leaned back in my seat and listened as her words soon drowned out.

I just couldn't stop thinking of him. His hair, he eyes, his face. It surprised me at how angelic he looked when I first saw him. His blood-kissed face, so soft and gentile. I didn't know anyone who could look that way despite what he was going through at that time. He was so quite, but so intriguing. I couldn't shake him. Nor could I shake the feeling I got when I thought about him.

"And that's why Andy will always my hero." she sighed as she finished her speech, pulling me out of my mental daze. I shook my head, and leaned forward, praying no one would notice me.

People blew their noses and took deep breaths. Practically in unison. I sighed quietly and tried to muster up something other than the regret that filled my entire body up. The whole room got up to say one last quick goodbye before the reception. I got up and walked slowly to the casket. I ran my fingers along the cool side of it, and forced myself to look over at him. Death kissed him sweetly. He looked so beautiful, yet so far away. It didn't make sense, and I couldn't think of why. I let out another sigh.

"Sorry I couldn't be there. I let you down." I hung my head slowly and kissed his newly dead lips. I lifted up my right hand and dropped the single red rose into his casket.

It was the only drop of color in the miserable place.