Disclaimer - I don't own anything sadly
*Sam's P.O.V*
What a Jerk! What an unwanted chiz face! I hope we falls in a whole with Ms. Briggs and Freddie's mom! How could that blockhead do that to me! Go fool around with another girl and expect me not to find out! Well I will tell you now, Zach is going to pay for this!
Zach was my boyfriend. He was super sweet, he always made me food, he was in love with my hair and eyes. He was probably the best boyfriend I had ever had. Nothing was bad about him. Until one day I went to the groovy smoothie and saw him flirting with another girl! I didn't think it was anything at first but then I started to get suspiciuos when we would end our hang outs early or say that he had to go help his parents for no reason. So I called my moms old boyfriend, Roberto, who did some spy work.
That's when I found out that he was sneaking around with this skank, 'Catilyn'. He would whisper chiz in her ear and hug her from behind like he always did with me. What a prick.
When I found out I got depressed. I sat around in my room watching dumb movies Carly would like and I ate more than normal. So by the time this ends I'm going to need a membership to 'Fat No More'.
Who knows how long I was like this. Days, maybe even weeks passed. I felt horrible. Like I wasn't good enough for his stupid face. I got angry and then I would cry. I wasn't even myself! I wish I was never with Zach!
I guess are starting to get obvious. Carly and even Freddie came up to me asking what was wrong. I hadn't told them yet. I didn't want them to know the reason I was like this. So I just gave them pathetic answers like 'I didn't sleep' or 'My mom was just being herself again.'
The probably saw right through me but I can't tell them until I'm the real Sam Puckett again!
Every time I tell myself I'm going to be myself again though, I find a reason to get upset again. Relationships are stupid crap. I'm never getting involved again. EVER!
I woke up to a knock at my door. I sighed and walked over thinking it was Carly wondering what's really going on. I was wrong. There was Freddie standing at my door with a bag of bacon.
"What do you want Nub?" I scoffed at him. Who does he think he is!
"Uh I brought you some bacon." He handed the bag to me and I snatched it out of his hands.
"State your buisness."
"He stepped into my house. "I want to know what's going on with you Sam. You have been nothing but dull and boring for the past week! Carly is starting to get worried about you. So am I!"
"Leave Nub, nothing's wrong with me."
"Sam!" he looked down at me. Stupid tall nub. I liked it better when I was the tall one.
I sighed. Might as well just tell Fredwad. Lord knows that boy doesn't give up. I flopped myself down on my couch
"Zach cheated on me." I looked down. I don't want to see his nubbish face.
"Sam why didn't you tell us?"
"Because I did NOT want you guys to see me like this. Depressed over some stupid boy. That is not the Puckett way!"
He sat down next to me on the couch.
"Sam, You know me and Carly are always here for you. No matter what you're feeling."
I stood up. He followed. Then I did something I never thought I would do voluntairly. I hugged the nub.
He did something even more unexpected. He hugged me back.
"Thanks Nub." I whispered into his chest.
"No problem demon."
He pulled away from the hug. "Now , I saw that you, with a little help from me, Get revenge on that stupid scum bag Zach."
I smiled. Here comes Sam Puckett. Everybody watch out!
~l~
I met Zach at the Groovie smoothie to break up with him officially.
I sat down at the table he was at
"So what's up babe?" Ugh stupid pig
"Look Zach, this just isin't working out anymore. I want to be single for awhile. I'm sorry this is so harsh sounding but It's the way it is. We can still be friends though."
He was speechless. I had to struggle to hold back my smirk. I glanced at Freddie who was at the counter. He smiled as big as he could and gave a thumbs up.
"Come on Sammie, You can't be serious!" Why did he care? He had a mistress to go off to.
"Zach, Shut it. We can be friends but I just don't want to date anymore."
Freddie was laughing from over at the counter. He was trying to keep it silent but wasn't doing a very good job.
"I'm sorry. I'll see you around." I got up and walked out. A few minutes later Freddie came and joined me. This was going to be fun.
~l~
The next day:
We had a plan. I called another 'Friend' of moms to help us out. He brought his whole crew. Freddie winced once they got up close. What a nub.
"Hey boys!" I said to them.
The biggest one, Mike, started talking. "Hey Sam. We're here about that guy that you talked about. What do you want us to do?"
"Okay boys, So In a few minutes this boy with blonde hair who's about as tall as Frederly here, is going to be walking down that road. When he comes walking down here I want you guys to go up to him and make a big deal about a money situation. Your going to scare the chiz out of him. And make sure you get his wallet! Whatever is in it you guys can have. Plus 20 bucks from me and Freddo." I hear Freddie laughing.
This was going to be fun
Mike spoke up. "No Sam, We ain't gonna take your money. Not even his. Just think of this as a favor. We scratch your back and you scratch ours later if we need it."
I wrapped my arms around Mike "Aw thanks you big lug!"
Just then Zach came walking down the street. Game time. Me and Freddie ran behind the building while Mike's crew walked up to him.
Me and Freddie couldn't hear anything but we saw the whole thing. He almost wazzed his pants. We couldn't stop laughing. Freddie and I were doubled over in pain from the laughing. This was the best thing to ever happen. Better than the invention of the butter sock. Once Mike's crew scared the chiz out of him they walked over to us laughing. It was just too funny!
Mike handed me his wallet and gave me a big bear hug "Woo! Man I gotta thank you Sam! That was the most fun I've had in months!" Him and his crew walked away still laughing.
Time for part 2 of our charade. Freddie stayed behind the building whil I walked out onto the street. Once I saw Zach I put on my best worried face and ran over to him.
"Oh my gosh Zach what happened?" I screamed. I could barley hold back my laughter. This was just too easy.
He yelled. "I just got mugged! And now all my money is gone! What am I going to do?"
I could hear Freddie laughing from behind the building but Zach seemed unfazed. He didn't hear Freddie loud howls of laughter drifting through the air. Honestly I had to put this plan into effect soon or I was going to be rolling on the ground laughing. This was just too much.
"Oh no! hurry lets go the the cafe so you can tell me what happened!" He walked in first and I followed stiffling my laughter the whole time.
We sat down at the booth and ordered capiccinos. This was going to be good.
once our drinks got to the table we started talking. I needed him to walk away
"Uh hey Zach, you look awful. Why don't you go and clean yourself up in the bathroom."
He nodded and walked off.
I grabbed laxitives out of my bag. Oh yeah. Mama was going to love this. I popped a few into his drink and stirred it around so they would disolve.
Zach came back to the table and started jabbering about how we wanted me back and how he missed me. Psh as if. All he wanted was to be getting some. I bet his precious Catilyn found out his game. Serves his right.
"That doesn't mean jack and you know it. I already said we're over."
He sighed in defeat as he finished his coffee. "Okay well i'm going to go home and get cleaned up. Thanks Sam."
As soon as he was gone I started laughing. Freddie walked in and smiled. "So the plan worked?"
"He didn't suspect anything!" I was still laughing. Freddie sat down at took my cup. He started sipping
"So demon, what's our next plan?"
I smirked. Oh yeah this one was going to be great. I was already one step ahead of him.
I had mikes crew go into Zach's house and clog all his toilets. Oh yeah. This boy was going to regret his cheating ways soon enough.
Zach had come to school the next day looking like hell. Hehe nothing better than revenge.
Frednubs came up with a prank. Put vasaline all over his car windsheilds. When I first heard it I thought it was a lame idea but then he came up with a good point. Vasaline is almost impossible to get off slick surfaces. This was gold. Especially since Zach is completly in love with his car. He finds it the most amazing thing on this planet. I thought it was a hunk of junk.
During lunch me and Freddie went outside to Zach's car. We put so much vasaline on that thing if you could hold it, It would slip right out of your hands.
After school we went to watch the magic unfold. Zach almost broke down in tears when he realized someone had tampered with his precious 'Baby'. His face= priceless. Zach called his dad and complained that he needed to come back from his buiness trip because of all the bad stuff that had happened to him. I almost forgot his dad was out of town! Ohhh yeah. It just kept getting easier.
Me and Freddie went to the groovy smoothie so I could tell him my plan. All he did was smile and laugh. Unfortunatly we would have to wait another day until my plan could go into effect but It was going to be worth it.
In the mean time we just threw bologna on his Car. Bye bye precious red paint.
Freddie came up with another good idea. One that would scare the Chiz out of Zach. I was starting to rub off on Fredweiner.
Freddie got dry ice from one of his nerdy science clubs. He put it in a soda bottle with warm water, stuck it in Zach's mailbox, And booked it out of there. Within a couple mintes that stupid green mailbox exploded.
He came outside and started flipping out. This revenge thing just kept getting better and better.
Freddie started laughing so hard he fell on the ground.
~l~
Freddie did one with out me! I was mad until I realized It was just a stupid little kid prank. It was still fun to watch though. Toothpaste instead of cream in Glorios. Ah Fredlumps, you might be lame but this was a good one.
All through class I couldn't stop thinking about tonight. Tonight was a big one that would probably do some of the most damage.
After school we ran strait to Mall-Mart and got all the stuff we were going to need. They really did have everything you ever need. As we were leaving though, I saw Catilyn. She made eye contact with me and marched over.
"Sam! What did you think you were doing fooling around with my boyfriend! Your the reason me and him broke up you jerk! I hope you know that he called me beautiful every day! I highly doubt he did that with you! And another thing!-"
I put my hand over her mouth. God this girl could talk for days.
"Catilyn! Will you calm down! I didn't know he was cheating! He was just a jerk! ive been spending the past few days getting revenge on him for what he did to us! Now if you would excuse me I have to go and ruin his life a little more" I started to walk away with Freddie but i heard heals clicking on the ground behind me
"Sam wait! Could I help you guys? Like with whatever your going to go do to him? I'll buy everyone a smoothie later if you let me join in." Maybe it was just me but this girl seemed bipolar... I shrugged and motioned her to follow us with my hand though. The more help the better right? Plus mama loves her smoothies.
It was pretty late once we finally got to Zach's house. It was perfect. Zach's dad got back tomorrow and he HATED horror movie stuff. Anything you could see in a horror movie would make him cry like a little baby. His dad was a bigger wimp than he was.
So as a result of that we covered his whole house in caution tape and fake blood. This was going to be the best one yet.
Then came the best part. The out line. On the driveway I had Freddie lay down while me and Catilyn put white tape to outline his body shape. As we were surrounding him in tape I lost my footing and fell on top of him.
"Oof!" We both said. That's when I first noticed that Freddie has some really nice eyes. And he doesn't smell to bad either. Wait what am I saying! I jumped off of him and muttered sorry.
We all stepped back and looked at a job well done.
Then Catilyn took us to the groovy smoothie. Free smoothies!
The whole time we laughed about how his dads reaction was going to be. At 6 in the morning we were going to be in for a treat.
The whole time Catilyn was flirting with Freddie. He didn't seem to notice. He just kept chatting it up with me. Idiot.
Freddie went home to sneak back in so his mom would see him on her 3 A.M check in.
Once Freddie was out the door Catilyn turned to me.
"So, how long have you been in love with Freddie?" I choked on my smoothie. What did she just say?
"Oh come on Sam, I know you love him. You guys have been flirting all night."
How am I supposed to respond to this?
"Cat got your tongue Sam?" She smirked.
All I did was studder. I am an Idiot!
"Look I know you like him. And that he likes you. So what's the problem?"
"How do you know that he likes me?" When In doubt, change the subject to someone else.
"Well first of all he ignored me when I was flirting with him, He spent all night talking to you, he kept touching your hand or arm, and he couldn't keep from smiling everytime he looked at you." She smiled as big as she could at me. Did this really all happen? I thought back to night.
Freddie touched my hand countless times. And I could remember looking into those dumb brown eyes every time I got the chance. which was pretty easy.
That didn't mean Catilyn was right though!
"Sam, how about later tonight you tell him. Before we all go home."
Yeah right. Like that would ever happen. Just then Freddie walked in again. Speak of the devil and he shall appear.
"Hey ladies!" We still got some time to kill! Wanna go get something to eat? My treat. Free food. Always a plus with Mama.
We went to the fancy pizza parlor with a french name. Fredweiner got all my favorite toppings. Without complaining.
Before we knew it we had been there for 2 hours just talking about nothing. I didn't realize the time until I got a call from another one of my mom's ex boyfriends, steve. I stepped outside to take the call.
"Hey Steve, You ready for tonight?"
"I sure am Samantha. Let's do this."
"Don't call me Samantha. See you in a few. Don't forget the uniform. It's crucial."
I hung up the phone and strolled back inside. Freddie looked like he had just seen a ghost and Catilyn was totaly casual. I was only gone for a minute!
~l~
We were back at Zach's house but this time we had steve all dressed up in his police uniform. This was going to be one of the best pranks ever pulled.
Within a half hour we saw Zach's dad driving down the street. It's game time.
His dad started freaking out from the car. He was hyperventilating. Haha! This was just too good to be true!
"Excuse me officer is there a problem?" His dad was going to flip his chiz!
"Yes sir, This is a crime scene. Now please stay off the premisis while I wait for more instruction."
Zach's dad started screaming and make a big commotion. He had woken up everyone in the neeighborhood almost. That's when a panicked Zach came outside to witness the 'Crime scene' and his father having a fit. He ran over to his dad and started trying to explain that he didn't do it.
By now even Catilyn was rolling around with laughter.
"Dad! This is just a joke I swear!" Zach cried to his dad
Then Zach's dad just got more mad.
"You mean to tell me that you did all this to just get a scare out of me? Well now you have to be punished! And I mean really punished! You know that car of yours? By this afternoon it's going to be gone!"
Zach started yelling and protesting. If only they stayed outside long enough for us to hear his dad's ranting! But this already had our sides splitting. We were laughing so hard we couldn't walk! This was going to go down in history as the best prank of the century! No wait, best one of all time!
~l~
Frednerd was walking me home. Catilyn was already home fast asleep in her bed. Lucky duck. I was exasted.
"Woo it's cold out here! I'm freezing my knee caps off!"
Freddie took off his jacket and gave it to me. It smelled nubbish. But not in a bad way.
We walked along talking about Zach. This was going to be a day i'll remember forever.
Once we got to my house. Me and Fredlumps sat down on my porch.
"This whole thing was totally legit Frederly."
He laughed. "I'm glad I had the honor of doing it all with you." You know I never noticed he had freckles on his nose before. Those were kind of cute.
"Well there's not really a point in sleeping now I guess. I mean we have to be at Carly's at 9 to come up with iCarly bits and right now it's 8:15."
Freddie chuckled again. "Yeah I suppose so. I'll probably just end up crashing on her couch later today."
I laughed too. "I call her bed. That thing is like sleeping on a cloud."
He looked down at the ground. "Well I guess I should go now.. I'll see you in like a half hour I guess."
There was something about the way he looked when he looked up at me. He got up to walk away but for some reason I stopped him.
He turned around
"What is it Sam?"
Then it happened. I don't know if it was because I was a dumb teenage girl, I liked him, or if It was just a strait act of impulse. To be honest. I think It was all three.
I ran up to him and kissed him. This was no sweet kiss either. I thought our friendship was going to be over until he put his hands around my waist and leaned in more.
That kiss turned into a make out session, which turned into holding hands on the way back to Bushwell, which turned into 'Accidentaly' falling asleep together on Carly's bed, And in the end it all turned into something we never saw happening. Love.
Awh how cute[: So this is based off a song called Smile by Lily Allen if you didn't know[: Hope you liked it. Reveiws are greatly appreciated(:
