Helloooo and welcome to my story! This is actually a couple years old, and I'm re-writing and re-posting it. I'd be very happy if you reviewed, even if you don't like it. Constructive criticism is always welcomed and appreciated.
I actually started writing this story when I was six years old. I mean, it was written on printer paper, set during Chamber of Secrets, with marker illustrations and no quotation marks, but the workings and basic plot were all there. So here it is, completely rewritten!
Prologue:
When I was seven, my mother's friend Lucretia Black scolded me for asking to give money to a homeless beggar on Diagon Alley. I didn't understand what could be so wrong with wanting to help someone- but Mrs. Black explained that she knew this man, and he was muggle-born. A mudblood.
"He's beneath you, dear," she told me. We were purebloods, and this man didn't deserve our help. My mother quicky agreed.
This didn't make much sense to me. I'd heard that muggles were bad- we were given they gift of magic, and they weren't. It seemed simple enough. Now I was hearing that there were people with magic who were beneath us as well?
To complicate matters further, my mother and I passed the same man about a month later. He looked even more ragged than the last time we saw him, and my seven-year-old heart went out to him.
"Mum, please?" I begged, "Please mum? Just give him a sickle, please?"
After a moment of hesitation, she gave in. "Oh, mudbloods aren't so bad anyhow," she said with a sigh. My mother, who had joined her friend before in saying that mudbloods were bad, was now saying they weren't. This was making my head hurt.
As time went on, I came to understand that my parents, as proud of their heritage as they were, weren't as prejudiced against muggles and mudbloods as some of their friends were. My mother was just very fashionable- she enjoyed being a part of pureblood high society. If that meant hastily agreeing with a more prejudiced friend, then that's just the way it was.
Discussing the filthiness of mudbloods over tea was perfectly normal, although she would never actually go out and, say, try to pass a piece of legislation to make muggle-hunting legal.
No, my parents weren't as nuts as some. They never had that pushy 'you must be a Slytherin!' attitude, either.
Then again… the idea of me not being in Slytherin never actually came up. Why would it? My parents had been in Slytherin. So had my brother and my sister, and all the rest of my family, except for my Great Aunt Lida the Hufflepuff- but she was always a bit odd anyways. So as soon as I went to Hogwarts and got to being Sorted I expected the Hat to put in me in Slytherin just like that.
There I was, sitting in the Great Hall with the Sorting Hat covering half my face. It obstructed everything from sight, but I could practically hearthe expectant gaze of my brother, Madden. He and his friends were smiling, sure that I was about to join them at their table. My best friend Narcissa Black had just joined them, welcomed by people we had known our entire lives.
But the hat told me I wasn't fit for Slytherin.
That was a shock worse than the Giant Squid greeting us at the lake. Not… fit… for Slytherin?That couldn't be right, but there was the Hat was prattling on about all my un-Slytheriny traits. Of course, I freaked. I told it flat out that I was supposed to be there, that I was a Slytherin through and through.
After arguing with it for some time, it relented, and off to the land of silver and emerald I went. I was in the place I was supposed to be.
Being Slytherin was great- I felt like I was part of some elite part of the school. My family's legacy immediately secured me friends, and for a time I was happy.
Soon I realized that being in Slytherin meant being completely segregated from everyone else. We were meant to think, "We're pureblood, we're proud, get out of our sight or we'll hex you."
Putting it bluntly: I hated it.
But really, what could I do? The Dark Lord was coming into power. Speaking your mind was an option for the older Slytherins, but us youngsters were part of a new generation of intolerance and arrogance.
By keeping my mouth shut I made friends. By keeping my mouth shut, I was well known, with a high status in school. I won dates and the hearts of worthy Slytherin boys, most notably the handsome Evan Rosier. By keeping my mouth shut I wasn't gossipped about, wasn't called a "deluded blood traitor", like Bellatrix and Cissy called their cousin Sirius and their sister Andromeda.
I was one of the cool Slytherin girls, which was good enough for me to look past everything I didn't like.
Predictably, one day I had to snap.
I don't know where exactly it began, this snapping, but I have a memory of a time during our fifth year, when I walked into a bathroom before class to do my makeup. Evan and I had just broken up for the fifth or sixth time, and I was in a terrible mood, so I didn't immediately noticed two first years, a Ravenclaw and a Hufflepuff in the corner. When I did, I realized the Hufflepuff was sobbing and blubbering about how she just wanted to do magic and didn't understand why people made fun of her. The Ravenclaw was rubbing her shoulders, and trying to explain that it was okay to be a muggle-born.
"It doesn't matter what those nasty Slytherins say," the Ravenclaw said soothingly, "No one else cares that your parents are muggles. Just ignore them,"
I felt a knot tighten in my stomach and my face grew much redder than the blush I was powdering on. I turned and left before they had time to notice me or the color of my robes.
About a week later, Cissy and I were walking back to the castle from the Greenhouses after Herbology. There had been a snow storm, and the grounds were covered in a soft blanket of whiteness. A few Hufflepuff girls were laughing as they threw snowballs at each other- I thought one of them might have been the one I'd seen in the bathroom.
"Did you know that almost every single kid that got sorted into Hufflepuff this year is a Mudblood?" Cissy sniffed, watching them. "Uh-huh. It's so depressing. Where is this school going?"
I shrugged uncomfortably. "I guess… I don't know. Why shouldn't they be here? I mean, you can't judge people just because they're born."
Her eyes widened in shock. "Emma. Really? They all think they're sooo smart and cool just because they get to join the ranks of us magical ones. Well, they're like, flukes! Muggles shouldn't have magic kids! They're like, lesser beings."
"But why?" I asked, thinking of the crying girl. "So maybe muggles arebad, I don't know, but why does that make muggle-born witches and wizards so bad? They still have magic."
Cissy threw her hands up in exasperation. "I don't know,Emma, it just does!"
I stopped walking. "So you're just going to go along with it?"
She stopped too. "Yes! Because that's the way it's meant to be! You know that, right?".
My stomach dropped and my throat closed up. I managed to nod my head, and she smiled in relief. "Come on, Em," she said perkily, "Let's go fix our hair before Charms!"
Even a while after that conversation, I couldn't forget what she had said- 'That's the way it's meant to be'. It didn't seem right at all.I started hanging out with my Housemates less and started spending more time to myself. I told them I was just focusing on my studies more, as OWLS were coming up, which was a sufficient enough answer. I thought that Madden, my brother, might have picked up on something, but he was more interested in his new girlfriend than anything else.
I remember how as I became more removed from the other Slytherins, I learned to listen to their conversations as an outsider. By doing this I was able to see how twisted they truly were. For instance, when a few guys cursed this mudblood Mary, they thought it was the funniest thing in the world- I couldn't even bring myself to pretend to laugh. It was just mean.
My woes weren't helped as Cissy started slipping away when she began seeing Lucius Malfoy. At first, me and the other girls would giggle and gossip about it, but as time went on I got worried. Cissy was besotted, completely obsessed, and snuck out with him on a regular basis. He was two years ahead of us and one of those kids who talked about joining up with the Dark Lord after school. He gave me a bad feeling.
Of course when I told Cissythat, she went on about how I didn't know anything and had better shut up before someone heard me.
Fifth year slipped away in the blink of an eye, and it was time for the Defense Against the Dark Arts OWLS- our last test of the year.
The exams themselves went alright, I felt I had done well. I'll admit that I probably would have done better if I had been able to keep my eyes off of Sirius Black- I didn't care if he was a smarmy little blood traitor… he was just so good to look at! And any other girl would agree…
Anyways- me, Cissy, and the other Slytherin girls (Zurie Zabini, Marla Rookwood, and Jessica Knott) went out to the lake to get some sun and relax. I saw Severus Snape was sitting alone under a tree, and I almost went over to say hello but didn't. The five of us girls started chatting, and it was just like old times before my awkwardness began creeping in. Our happy relaxation was broken, however, by a shout of anger.
I glanced over towards the castle, and groaned as I saw Severus hanging in the air. James Potter was pointing his wand at him and Lily Evans was nearby, completely livid.
"Wondrous." Zurie muttered. "Here we go again."
"Should we go help him?" Marla looked nervous. I think she had a little crush on him.
"He needs to learn to defend himself." Cissy snapped. Marla gave her a reproachful look. Cissy turned faintly pink. "What? Lucius says it allthe time," she said defensively.
"Oh, well if dear Luciussays so…" I muttered. Cissy sharply turned her head towards me.
"You have a problem with Lucius?"
"I have a problemwith you shagging a seventh year who's got a future that looks about as good being on the run for practicing Dark Magic, if not in Azkaban!"
Cissy turned a very odd shade of purple I never would have expected from a girl with such a delicate complexion. She opened and closed her mouth several times as if searching desperately for something to say. Jessica stepped in instead.
"With the way things are going," she said, "the ideas Lucius has are going to land him in a place a whole lot better than Azkaban… if you catch my drift."
"Shush, Jessica!" Cissy moaned. "Don't talk about this out here."
"You guys can't be serious." I gasped. "You don't really think… you don't agree…"
Jessica shrugged. "It's the times, Emma. Get with the program. Don't you think things would be better with someone like the Dark Lord running every-"
She was cut off as Marla let out a squeal horror. "Oh gross! Blood! Sev made Potter bleed!"
Our spat was forgotten as we all moved to watch the transpiring events. After Severus's small triumph, Black and Potter mostly had the upper hand, which made the whole thing rather depressing moreover entertaining. Quite the opposite were the non-Slytherins' feelings, judging by the laughter and cheering. After Severus called Lily a mudblood, and she called him Snivellus, things quickly cooled down. Potter almost removed Sev's undies, which would have been pretty disgusting. He just left Snape on the ground, shaking with rage.
My friends and I rushed over. They went off on the usual verbal abuse against the Gryffindors, then congratulated Severus for finally getting rid of Lily.
"You were a bit… harsh." I told him disapprovingly. "I mean, you're like… friends."
"Not anymore!" Jessica slapped him on the back. "Good job, Sev!"
"Wait- no." I laughed nervously. "Let's be serious. Severus-you have to go apologize, now! Do you want to ruin your friendship?"
"Why wouldn't he?" Jessica narrowed her eyes.
"My God. You can't be that far gone!" I cried. "There's nothing wrong with Lily, she's perfectly nice, who caresif her parents haven't got any magic?"
"We do." Jessica stood up, and my other friends followed suit. "Emma, hon, she's a muggle-born. Mud. Blood."
I stood up too. "Well that's your problem. It's not right, discriminating 'cause her parents don't have magic."
Jessica narrowed her eyes. "Well it looks like you're the one with a problem. C'mon girls, we're going inside. Later, Emma."
Without a backwards glance, they walked away.
Ha. Pretty great best friends, right?
I was fuming, and almost forgot about Severus until I heard him snickering, "Looks like someone's out of the group…"
"Oh, shut up Snivellus," I snapped.
As I walked inside, thinking of ways to apologize for my outburst, something dawned on me- my outlook on life was changing. Now how the hell was I supposed to survive the next two years?
