A/N: I wanted to write a parody, so I will. I hope you all don't suffer.
This is a parody of. uh. Harry Potter, I guess. As all my fics (in the
writing process) are Harry Potter fics.
Disclaimer: I don't own a thing. This isn't even my computer. But I am sitting in my own chair, which happened to make it down to the library somehow. Hmmmm.. So don't sue me.
Cho: *singing to some random tune* Don't. uh huh, don't, don't suuuuuuuue!!!!! Everyone else: *singing to "We are family" (which I don't own either)* We all haate her! Buuuuuut we agree!
I am so unoriginal.
Warning! To avoid injury, do not allow near children less than 3 years of age who are afraid of authors with extreme sugar/chocolate/skittles addictions! You have been warned! . those kids three and under are really something!
Dedications: This story is dedicated to anyone who can tolerate my craziness and randomness. But, if you want to know, my inspiration came from SilverPhoenix25, who came up with stuff that had me falling off my chair with laughter so often that I now have permanent bruises. I have no idea who the heck this person is, and have never given this person the reviews he/she deserves because I am a lazy bum. If you ever read this, know that I greatly admire your work *sniff, sniff, tear, wipe*
And now.
Harry Potter and. something.
The Dursleys were proud to say that they were normal, thank you very much. They were a family of three that happened to include a wife/mother with a neck and face that very greatly resembled a horse (their parents thought that the doctor got her mixed up with one of the horse babies there that day), a big, beefy man that was thought to be the body guard of some person that needed very heavy security, and a baby boy who was too big to fit in a crib the day he was brought home from the hospital.
But what the Dursleys had was a secret, and their biggest fear was that somebody would figure it out. For you see, the Dursleys were.
Chimneysweeps.
But this is irrelevant to the plot. The only thing you have to know is that they were constantly covered in this suspiciously suspicious soot.
Oh, and the Dursleys were also related to the Potters.
This became important to Vernon Dursley after an owl dropped a neon green envelope onto his head one day.
Now, everyone knows that neon green envelopes contain spoilers and clash horribly with outfits, unless you happened to be wearing neon green. Everyone except for Vernon Dursley. Dear Mr. Whoeverthisletter happenedtolandon:
Very soon you will be receiving an infant named Harry Potter on your doorstep, which will freak your wife out. This infant is, in fact, a wizard and your nephew, who will be treated like some kind of nasty animal until he is 11 years old and then a giant will come visit you on a shack in the middle of the sea and whisk Harry away leaving your son with a curly tail like a pig then Harry will go to Hogwarts and learn magic and on Halloween
Thus the letter ended because the letter happened to be ripped at that convenient spot.
*********
Harry Potter: *sniggers* "now everyone will have to read the parodies about me and I will have more fame!"
He was promptly chased by representatives of the Spoilers Association who had conveniently bought many pitchforks and torches moments before for no apparent reason.
*********
To Vernon Dursley's great surprise, the things in the letter happened. It was almost as if. the people who wrote it were. magical.
Nah.
A/N: this is my 1st fic so PLEASE R/R. THANK YOU!!!!!
Disclaimer: I don't own a thing. This isn't even my computer. But I am sitting in my own chair, which happened to make it down to the library somehow. Hmmmm.. So don't sue me.
Cho: *singing to some random tune* Don't. uh huh, don't, don't suuuuuuuue!!!!! Everyone else: *singing to "We are family" (which I don't own either)* We all haate her! Buuuuuut we agree!
I am so unoriginal.
Warning! To avoid injury, do not allow near children less than 3 years of age who are afraid of authors with extreme sugar/chocolate/skittles addictions! You have been warned! . those kids three and under are really something!
Dedications: This story is dedicated to anyone who can tolerate my craziness and randomness. But, if you want to know, my inspiration came from SilverPhoenix25, who came up with stuff that had me falling off my chair with laughter so often that I now have permanent bruises. I have no idea who the heck this person is, and have never given this person the reviews he/she deserves because I am a lazy bum. If you ever read this, know that I greatly admire your work *sniff, sniff, tear, wipe*
And now.
Harry Potter and. something.
The Dursleys were proud to say that they were normal, thank you very much. They were a family of three that happened to include a wife/mother with a neck and face that very greatly resembled a horse (their parents thought that the doctor got her mixed up with one of the horse babies there that day), a big, beefy man that was thought to be the body guard of some person that needed very heavy security, and a baby boy who was too big to fit in a crib the day he was brought home from the hospital.
But what the Dursleys had was a secret, and their biggest fear was that somebody would figure it out. For you see, the Dursleys were.
Chimneysweeps.
But this is irrelevant to the plot. The only thing you have to know is that they were constantly covered in this suspiciously suspicious soot.
Oh, and the Dursleys were also related to the Potters.
This became important to Vernon Dursley after an owl dropped a neon green envelope onto his head one day.
Now, everyone knows that neon green envelopes contain spoilers and clash horribly with outfits, unless you happened to be wearing neon green. Everyone except for Vernon Dursley. Dear Mr. Whoeverthisletter happenedtolandon:
Very soon you will be receiving an infant named Harry Potter on your doorstep, which will freak your wife out. This infant is, in fact, a wizard and your nephew, who will be treated like some kind of nasty animal until he is 11 years old and then a giant will come visit you on a shack in the middle of the sea and whisk Harry away leaving your son with a curly tail like a pig then Harry will go to Hogwarts and learn magic and on Halloween
Thus the letter ended because the letter happened to be ripped at that convenient spot.
*********
Harry Potter: *sniggers* "now everyone will have to read the parodies about me and I will have more fame!"
He was promptly chased by representatives of the Spoilers Association who had conveniently bought many pitchforks and torches moments before for no apparent reason.
*********
To Vernon Dursley's great surprise, the things in the letter happened. It was almost as if. the people who wrote it were. magical.
Nah.
A/N: this is my 1st fic so PLEASE R/R. THANK YOU!!!!!
