Why is it illegal to murder your siblings?

Even when they deserve it for being god damned know it all's?

I mean honestly, he excels at everything he turns his hand to.

Art, science, math, economics, language, religion, you name it and Feliciano can probably do it. Not to mention his sparkling personality.

Meanwhile I'm all antisocially alone over here in Uselessville, and my one unique trait, minus my organized underground, um, 'business' dealings, has been upstaged once again.

That one and only thing was Spanish.

I thought it was specific to my region, but oh, no. It's apparently not anymore. Earlier this evening Feliciano came bouncing into my room like he owned the place, which he sort of does, but I live here too damnit! That doesn't mean he can flounce into my room whenever he wants to!

I was doing some Spanish homework when he came over, so I was fully absorbed in doing that and didn't notice him until it was too late.

And I was just using the high school text books because they are really helpful, don't let him tell you otherwise. I'm not a child anymore!

Anyway here comes my stupid air headed brother, skipping over to my desk to see what I was up to. I told him to get lost but he just started giggling and said he couldn't get lost in his own home. He then picked up my level five Spanish book and read it like it was printed in fucking Italian.

Or English, the bastard knows both.

What really sealed the shitty deal was the fact that I've been trying to learn that damn language since I was a child back in the, like, twelve hundreds or something? And now completely out of the blue, Feliciano can read and speak it like it's no problem.

On top of all that he burst into tears once I yelled at him for being a know it all.

It will forever baffle me as to how he can get people to go from raging mad to feeling completely sorry for him in under three minutes. I mean, I get how it works on the potato bastard, but that's only because the two are- GAH! Sleeping together.

Lord almighty, I need to go bleach my brain.

Feliciano (the airhead) didn't even have the nerve to tell me. I found out the hard way when I came downstairs one morning to find a shirtless Kraut in my kitchen making coffee for my presumably stark naked little brother.

Why must I be cursed with a photographic memory?!

I'll never be able to unsee his boxers!

Oh yeah, I should probably introduce myself.

Hell-fucking-o, I'm the personification of Southern Italy, more commonly known as Romano, or Don Roma, or Lovino, or Lovi, but under NO circumstances may you call me that! I like tomatoes, my brother (half the time), the beach, pizza, guns, and anything Italian.

I hate pretty much everything else.

My life has never been a walk in the park, but this current dumb assed quest I'm on really takes the cake.

Note to self, never, ever, go drinking with Englishmen, as they get super inebriated and then dare you to do stupid things.

For example;

Trying to find a way to set up your very oblivious (no really, he has the romantic insight of a doormat) former caretaker with a cute girl.

Sounds easy right? BUT, before you can even get to that stage, you've got to somehow dodge your brother's idiotic interfering and the extreme retardness of the other two members of the Dipshit Trio.

On top of that you have to balance all your national and Mob duties, while trying to keep a certain Kraut out of your brother's pants and your own home!

But wait, there's more!

If I don't set the tomato bastard up in the span of a month Sir Eyebrows is going to completely and utterly wreck my life. How? Apparently when I get drunk I blab all sorts of things, and now England is in possession of a secret that I'd rather everyone not know.

On a side note;

I'm convinced the universe is out to get me.


Review please~!

I've been meaning to go something like this for awhile now. Out of all the Hetalia characters, I'm the most like Romano, so I've been dying to write for him.

This just came into my head a few days ago...I'm not even sure when I'll get more up, but until then, keep guessing on what that secret is ;)

~Anna