Grapefruits and the Such

Disclaimer: Yes yes, we all know this by heart. Given that I am not Naoko Takeuchi or anyone else with a claim to the ownership of Sailor Moon, I do not claim any of the characters mentioned here as mine, nor do I intend to make profit with this, yadda yadda.

Grapefruits and the Such (revised)

narie_the_waitress

****************************************************************

dulce et decorum est

(sweet and fitting it is)

****************************************************************

You know, once, just when I was starting to learn English, right after having moved out of Tokyo, I went to a little restaurant in London with my parents. Pretty little place in the middle of a lovely, tiny street. Artemis - who hadn't spoken to me yet - stayed at home, while I though about how I wanted to order something that was not milk or water, and so happily smiled at the waiter and asked him for a grapefruit juice after struggling with the occidental alphabet in the menu and the English language.

You see, when you don't speak English it's easy to get grapes and grapefruits confused. One is sweet while the other is bitter, and so the juice made from grapes is much more pleasant and tasty than the one made from grapefruits. Of course, little eight year old me, just arrived from Japan, couldn't tell the difference from one and the other just by writing, given that I hadn't learned what a grapefruit was yet.

And I think that I'm somehow like that. In any case...

So, when the juice arrived at our table I found out that instead of being the purplish liquid I was expecting, it was something that looked more like pinkish orange juice. So, like most eight year olds would have done I pouted and fretted and squirmed around in my seat, but my parents simply smiled and found it very amusing; a practical lesson concerning the English language and its peculiarities.

Nevertheless, that was a little childhood episode for your viewing pleasure. Now onto more interesting things.

You see, I bring grapefruits up because I sometimes feel like a grapefruit, as stupid as that might sound. You know how for someone who doesn't really speak English grapes and grapefruits are very easy to confuse with one another? And you know how grapefruits are interesting, on the outside? Simple, round, and a pretty color, orange-yellow. Inside, they are as well. Grapefruit pink is a shade I don't mind that much, even if I do like some other colors better. But still, just try drinking some grapefruit juice and you'll see that they're not nearly as friendly as they seem.

They're bitter.

And so am I, as of late.

The other day, when I gained my new attack and all; when I was talking to the little girl (and I've forgotten her name already!) and asked her if she was also a fan of Sailor Venus, and she looked at me and said: "Sailor Venus? Who's that one?" I felt as if I could just break down into tears, right that moment.

How was I supposed to react to that? "Oh, I'm Sailor Venus. Here, let me show you." and then transform in front of her?

Maybe "Oh, she's my favorite senshi! She's just soooo cool!"

Or "She's no one... she's just one of the four that go around with Sailor Moon. "

Perhaps "Oh, just a friend of mine."

Instead I settled for a neutral comment about Sailor Moon and Sailor Venus, not letting my hurt show.

I used to be Sailor V, you know? Famous heroine in all the underground circles that do believe in the Senshi with certainty; enigma in the London Times, and later on, the Asahi Shimbun, and idol of most 5 year old children. Fame, and adoration. Addictive, I guess.

And then the moon princess came along, and I became nothing but one of the accessory senshi. Bouncy, pouncy, pouncy, fun fun fun fun fun.

I always liked Winnie the Pooh.

In any case, here I am, Sailor Venus, with my crescent beam, my talking cat and my magic pen. Living in Usagi's shadow. There was talk in the newspapers about the mysterious disappearance of Sailor V, and her replacement by Sailor Moon and her occasional allies.

Occasional.

Shows you the ones out there writing the news are as bright as people think I am.

So, now the famous heroine is Sailor Moon. She has no official manga yet, nor her own videogame; mine still sells a bit too much for that, but she will soon, and the memory of Sailor V will fade away in most people's mind, except for that stalker I got myself, who most likely has his whole bedroom covered with pictures of all my sightings.

Oh well...

And then, things got slightly worse. We died, and rewrote all of the previous year. Sailor Moon has ALWAYS had four other adoring Senshi that tag behind her, according to witnesses, and they have always done nothing much but launch pretty blasts of colored energy at the monster, who is invariably finished off by Sailor Moon, with one marvelous rattle swing.

She's quite the novelty around Tokyo, right now, Sailor Moon is. Wanted: Klutzy heroine, with talking cat. Required: The ability to convincingly shake a rattle menacingly at something vaguely vegetal-looking. Preference given to those who can shatter glass with their voice.

No one talks about Sailor V anymore.

And I used to be Sailor V. No one talks about me anymore. I've been completely forgotten.

Who needs Sailor V, in any case? She didn't have a rattle.

Excuse me, a scepter.

Who needs Sailor V, anyhow? She could fight by herself.

Excuse me... Sailor Moon most likely could as well, if only she'd stop drooling over that Tsukikage no Knight individual.

And lastly, who needs Sailor V? She wasn't cool enough.

Excuse me. Sailor Moon is just SO much cooler than anyone else living in this planet right now, with a couple of possible exceptions.

Excuse me; no, no one is cooler than her majesty the Moon Princess.

Now, don't get me wrong. I do love Usagi. She's sweet, she's innocent and she'll do anything to protect her friends.

But I resent my position. I just let loose my crescent beam, stun the enemy of the day, and then scream "Go, Sailor Moon" or anything that sounds remotely encouraging.

Then I get to listen to my daily dose of poetry, courtesy of the fellow in the white bed sheet.

Excuse me, courtesy of the Tsukikage no Knight. Mind your manners, Minako.

And there's not a single thing I can do about it, because if I ever transform into Sailor V again, Artemis will surely never let me live it down, not to mention, he'll find some way to get his furry paws on both my diary and my magic pen, and tada, there goes everything.

And even though I know that Sailor Moon is Usagi, I was looking at her in her Senshi outfit the other day, and her face seemed to always slip out of my sight. So I guess that's how come people never recognize us, because we're hard to focus on, or something like that.

I guess we slip away, and that's why no one sees us. Certainly, there's no other answer. I'm the soldier of love and beauty, they say. Even my name says so. And I'm bitter. Because I don't want to be what I have become, which is nothing but a shadow of myself. And people can't see me. Not the real me, anyhow. Try to take a photograph of me, the film will be blurred and you will see nothing noteworthy.

Why would you care about Sailor Venus, anyhow? You've got Sailor Moon...

Why, though? Why is she the only one of us who truly gets something out of this? Her long lost soulmate, that crystal of hers, and all the fame.

Uh, I'm getting selfish now, but I don't care that much right now, since I'm in the mood to weep over my tragedy, like Juliet.

Only, she was crying about love, I cry because I am bitter.

I'm a grapefruit, you see... attractive in the outside, and even in the inside, if you don't try to get too much out of me, but squeeze too hard and bitterness... happens.

Good old shallow Minako. That's me. Always there to giggle at anything, always there to look and drool at boys, always ready to play along with any hare-brained scheme any of us can come up with, always willing to sacrifice anything and give her life for her princess. And I'm not even the leader anymore. Whatever respect surrounded my former position as Sailor V has been lost now, and no one could care less about what I did before I died up north. Usagi's the leader, and I'm a grapefruit.

A silly, shallow grapefruit.

****************************************************************

The quote at the beginning is part of Owen poem, Dulce et Decorum Est. The whole expression goes:

"Dulce et decorum est

Pro patria mori"

Which translates into

"Sweet and proper it is

to die for one's country."

The poem is a lot longer than that. And it's certainly worth reading.

This story is dedicated to Kate Butler, who was the first person ever to send me feedback, and who was also the one who gave me this idea, over one of our long emails. And also to Don, because he certainly knows how to keep a girl writing, and because his Minako in "Clean" has got to be one of the most original and wonderful ones I've ever seen.

Feedback of any kind is encouraged.

narie.

Brazil, Feb 11th, 2001.

bakanarie@hotmail.com

www.envy.nu/bakanarie