A/N 1: I also posted this on my AO3 (CeceAsh), if you'd rather read it over there.
A/N 2: Also, this is unbeta-ed, so sorry in advance if you find typos.
"I'm telling you, you really missed out on a magical childhood by not reading Harry Potter."
Carmilla rolled her eyes and groaned at her friend as they walked across the campus quad.
"LaF, I swear to God, if I hear one more lecture about Harry fucking Potter...I will kill you."
The redhead chuckled to themselves, not scared at all by the threat. "Well, I would stop talking about it if you just gave it a try. I mean, I know you hate to participate in mainstream trends of any kind, but this is different."
"So you say."
"I don't just say, I know."
She scoffed. "Whatever."
The two parted ways at the Science building, where LaF had their last class of the day, and Carmilla kept heading straight back to her dorm room. On the way there though, she had to pass the library. She bit her lip and kept her eyes focused on the dorm building in the distance, but for some ridiculous reason, her feet stopped moving. Crap. Grinding her teeth, she turned and strode down the concrete path to the entrance of the library, her boot heels clicking all the way. She usually actually liked the library, staying there to study sometimes when her roommate's boyfriend was in the room, or when she pulled all-nighters and couldn't concentrate with her roommate's snoring. The library was a quiet place. Easy to find a spot for yourself and do your work in peace. But right now, the library almost seemed like it was mocking her. Ugh.
She really couldn't believe it. Minutes later, there she was, making her way through the aisles and aisles of books to get one that she vowed she'd never read. Funny how things change, if only to get a friend off her back. But really, if her sixteen year old self could see her now, she would have dealt herself a punch in the face. LaFontaine was right, she consciously made the decision to stay as far away from anything in the mainstream that was popular. Mainly because the teenagers who went crazy over those things were annoying enough. Yet she knew if she read the first book and told LaF that she didn't like it, and after a lecture on how they couldn't believe she didn't like it, they would finally leave her alone. So, when she found the shelf with all of J.K Rowling's books, she plucked the Sorcerer's Stone out and headed for the checkout desk.
She really was already regretting this. Once the book was handed back to her, she wasted no time in unzipping her jacket and slipping the relatively small book into a pocket, then zipping it back up. She may have given in to reading it, but she definitely didn't want anyone other than LaFontaine and the librarian to know that. And even though it was concealed, she hurried across campus back to her dorm, looking nervous, like she had just robbed a bank or something. Thankfully, most people were afraid of her anyway, so they moved out of her way and continued on their path. When she approached her door, she whipped out her key and turned it with ease and rushed in, closing the door behind her with both hands. Yes, this may seem dramatic to other people, but Carmilla was serious about this.
She couldn't remember the last time she read something that wasn't pure poetry or classic literature, and that wasn't required reading in school. Eighth grade, maybe. Whatever, that didn't matter now, and she hated that she was ruining her streak. Locking the door behind her, she took off her jacket and grabbed the book, tossing it on her bed. It had been a long day and she was aching for a nice, hot shower to relax her muscles. Dealing with idiotic students all day was trying on her both mentally and physically, and she wondered how the Hell teachers dealt with it every single day. Shrugging off her jacket, she let it fall to the floor before she climbed on her bed. The book itself wasn't that big, so if she can stand it, it wouldn't take her took long to finish. Flipping through the pages, she saw illustrations at every chapter, making her roll her eyes. Coming to the end of of the book a yellow flash caught her eye. She opened the back cover up again and there was a sticky note. In pink gel pen and bubbly letters, the handwriting read:
555-416-2014 If anyone wants to talk about how awesome HP is! -L
God, was this person an idiot? Who the fuck gave out their phone number so willy-nilly? Someone way too trusting, that's who.
"Dumbass…" Carmilla muttered to herself.
She closed the book then opened the front cover, preparing to read and get it over with. However, her brain had other ideas. She could barely get past the first page before she found herself going to the back of the book and looking at the sticky note again. She was human, so of course she was curious. Plus she wanted to tell whoever "L" was, to not be putting their phone number anywhere. That shit was dangerous. So she took out her phone and typed the number out before thinking of what to say. She typed a whole paragraph before she knew it, and shook her head at herself. She was never one to care this much about someone she didn't even know, so she erased it all and replaced it with one simple sentence.
555-416-1698 (4:56pm): You shouldn't put your number out there where any creep could get a hold of it.
It was a much nicer way of saying "don't do that shit again", but who cares? Not expecting a reply, she deleted the conversation along with the number and set her phone down on the bed next to her. Opening the book back up to the first chapter, she started reading again. She barely got three sentences in before her phone vibrated, lighting up with a text from an unknown number. But she knew who it was. It didn't take a genius. And apparently the person thought it necessary to contact her back when it was unneeded.
Unknown (4:58pm): Oh my gosh! Hello, stranger!
God...she could almost feel the excitement of this other person through the screen. Sighing, she didn't know whether to type back, because, what do you type to a stranger in response to that? This was probably a stupid idea anyway, why had she given in? Curiosity. Ugh. And everyone knew the saying: "Curiosity killed the cat". Well, now she knew what it was like to be the cat. She was about to throw her phone aside again and forget about the whole thing when the phone vibrated again. Great.
Unknown (4:59pm): I know. At the time it seemed like a marvelous idea, but since then, I have gotten countless pictures of the male anatomy that I never want to see again, and requests to show my own body. Believe me, I have realized the terrible mistake I've made, but every time I've gone back to the library to find the book, the copy with my number in it is always checked out. So, if you would be so kind as to remove my sticky note from the book and throw it away, it would be much appreciated!
555-416-1698 (5:00pm): Sure, Cupcake.
Carmilla couldn't help but laugh at the fact that this innocent person who just wanted to talk about Harry Potter with someone, has received dick pics in return. It was like something out of a comedy. And though she'd never admit it, she kind of felt bad for "L". Boys are...well...dicks (no surprise there), but "L" seemed a bit naive and too trusting of people. So for once in her life, she did a stranger a solid, taking the sticky note out of the book and ripping it up before she let the torn pieces fall out of her hand and into her small waste basket next to the bed. Now that that's over with, she once again went back to her book, but was interrupted yet again. At this rate, she would never finish the damn thing.
Unknown (5:01pm): Laura. That's my name. I think you've earned that much now that you've proven yourself to be a decent person.
Carmilla scoffed to herself.
555-416-1698 (5:02pm): I wouldn't go that far. You don't know me after all, so who says I didn't just leave it in the book?
Unknown (5:02pm): Well, you didn't immediately send me a picture of your genitals, or ask for one of mine, so you can't be too bad.
555-416-1698 (5:03pm): Yeah, well, you caught me on a good day. And by good day I mean a day where I'm not a complete asshole.
Unknown (5:04pm): Either way, thank you.
555-416-1698 (5:05pm): Whatever.
Carmilla promptly deleted their conversation and turned her phone off, setting it on her desk before she laid back on her bed, ready to get this over with.
/
The next day, Carmilla was half asleep in her History class when her phone vibrated in her pocket. Thankful for the distraction, she pulled it out and looked at the screen, expecting LaF. However, it was an Unknown number. Curious, she unlocked her phone and watched as the new conversation window filled the screen.
Unknown (3:45pm): So...what's your name?
She frowned to herself before typing back.
555-416-1698 (3:45pm): Who is this?
Unknown (3:46pm): Laura. From yesterday.
555-416-1698 (3:46pm): Oh. What do you want?
Unknown (3:47pm): Well, I believe I asked you your name.
555-416-1698 (3:47pm): And why do you need to know that?
Unknown (3:47pm): I don't need to, per say. I would just like to know so I can thank you properly. For taking my note out of the book and all.
555-416-1698 (3:48pm): No need, Creampuff.
Unknown (3:49pm): You are frustrating, you know that?
555-416-1698 (3:50pm): I try.
Unknown (3:50pm): I can tell.
Unknown (3:55pm): You know my name, so it's a bit unfair that I don't know yours.
555-416-1698 (3:55): Oh my God. You really don't give up, do you?
Unknown (3:56pm): Nope! One of my best qualities.
555-416-1698 (3:57pm): Or one of your worst.
Carmilla chuckled under her breath, but quickly realized that she may have hurt the girl's feelings. Wait, why would she start to care about hurting people's feelings, especially of someone that she didn't even know? Fuck, what is wrong with her? Biting her lip, after three long minutes with no reply, she reluctantly typed out her name and pressed send. "L"...Laura, had been nothing but nice to her, so she would give her this one thing. But that would be it!
555-416-1698 (4:00pm): Carmilla.
Not even thirty seconds later, her phone vibrated.
Unknown (4:00pm): AH HA! Knew I'd get it sooner or later.
She sighed, and resisted the urge to let her forehead slam into the desk.
Carmilla (4:01pm): Oh no. I've made a terrible mistake.
Unknown (4:02pm): Or a great decision. I'm pretty cool.
Carmilla ( 4:02pm): Cool people don't go around telling people they're cool.
Unknown (4:02pm): And where does it say that? I don't know of any Cool Person's Rulebook.
She didn't even know what to say to that, but at this point, it seemed like the best thing was to ignore it. The Professor assigned them their homework and released them, so she quickly packed her things, more than ready to get out of there. Her butt hurt from the uncomfortable chairs that looked to be as old as the Professor, and all she wanted to do was go out and have some fun, maybe drink a little. Or a lot. It was Friday after all, she'd have all weekend for homework. Opening a new text window, she wrote a message to LaF as she navigated the halls of the school. It was Friday night, the only night of the week they actually went out and acted like college kids, going to a nearby bar and having some fun. Homework waited until Saturday, which was no big deal for either of them. They were smart and could handle it. Going back to her room, she dumped her things on the floor and was happy that her roommate was nowhere to be found.
The rest of the evening was spent taking a nap and showering, then picking out her outfit. She chose a skimpy, black leather corset and black leather pants to match. Sure, it was light-jacket weather, but she ran hot, and planned on having some girl to warm her up if she needed it anyway. She met LaF at their favorite diner just after their scheduled meeting time, and both ate as they caught each other up on their days. Carmilla had chosen a salad. Not her favorite choice by far, but again, she wanted to find a hot girl tonight, so she didn't want to weigh herself down and feel too full to get it on. LaF didn't care what they ate, mainly because they had their eye on someone already, and she wasn't the partying type and didn't come along. Carmilla thought it was funny how weird they were around the girl named Perry, but actually also thought it was kind of sweet. And she rolled her eyes at herself for even thinking that.
They usually did make a good wing-person though, so she didn't complain as much when LaF would talk about her. She was happy that they found someone who respected their pronouns, and genuinely liked them, even hanging out in the Bio Lab at times just so they could hang out. Ugh, both were gross, and Carmilla just wished that one of them would just make a fucking move already. In a way she was jealous that it was inevitable for them to get together. She hadn't had a serious relationship since high school, but she remembered how that turned out. Girls were bitches. Or so she convinced herself. She didn't want a relationship. Which she also convinced herself. Or tried to, at least. Some days she would whole-heartedly believe it, others not so much. Why did life have to be so complicated? She hated that it took up so much of her brain space on a daily basis.
She did her best to suppress it with meaningless sex. Because hey, her body has needs. But always fuck and flee before anything else is said or done. She knew it wasn't the healthy way to deal with things, but she didn't really know another way, and she certainly wasn't going to let herself fall for another girl that would just break her heart in the end anyway. Shaking her head, Carmilla didn't want to think about that anymore. Later, when they entered the club, she went straight for the bar. Usually she held off for a while, but she needed to clear her head. She needed the aid of alcohol to stop thinking. She knew it would only last for so long, but it was worth it. Right? What is she thinking? Of course it's worth it. And she'll make some girl's night worth it as well. Or, at least that's what she had planned.
But all too often plans backfired, and tonight was one of those nights. She got drunk way too fast, way too early. Usually she'd be up all night on Friday's and finally getting to bed when the sun was rising on Saturday morning. But she was wasted by two in the morning and couldn't really argue when LaF lead her out of the bar and back to their dorm. She regained some control on the walk back, and drinking some water that they brought helped. So by the time she burst into her room, she could at least walk mostly straight and talk with only a slight slur. Loudly getting ready for bed, she woke up her roommate, which she didn't care, the girl deserved it for all the evenings she couldn't be in her own room because her and her boyfriend were having sex. Ugh, straight people. She heard an irritated sigh as the girl turned over, back facing her now. Whatever.
She didn't have the energy past using the bathroom to do anything, so she just kicked off her shoes, unzipped her corset, and took off her leather pants, leaving her only in skimpy undies. Before she attempted to sleep though, Carmilla struggled with her cell phone, taking about five tries to get it successfully plugged into her charger, lighting up the screen and blinding her for a few seconds. Swiping right to unlock it, she was going to text LaF...something. She already forgot. Being drunk was annoying. Wiping the blurriness out of her eyes, she let her hand fall to the mattress, grazing the screen, sending it back to her list of recently texted people. Seeing "Unknown" right under LaF got her curious. Who was that? She clicked on it and read the last few messages they had exchanged. Seeing that she never answered back, she sat up on her elbows and typed away with her two pointer fingers.
Carmilla (2:22am): Wat makes u think ur so cool ayway?
Unknown (2:23am): First of all, do you know what time it is? Second...are you drunk?
Carmilla (2:23am): nO?
Unknown (2:24am): I'll take that as a yes. Get some sleep before you drunk text the wrong person.
Carmilla (2:25am): Wait whos ths?
Unknown (2:25am): Goodnight, Carmilla.
She groaned louder than necessary, receiving a prompt "shhh, I'm trying to sleep!" from her roommate. Too tired and drunk to curse her out, Carmilla gave up and face-planted into her pillow and immediately passed out.
/
Carmilla woke up to the sound of her text alert going off, and God her head hurt. Why the Hell had she drunk so much last night? Turning over, she thanked her past self for buying dark curtains and blocking out the sun that would no doubt have blinded her. Stretching her sore muscles, she reached for her phone, that had slipped partly under her pillow at some point in the night.
Unknown (1:43pm): How far are you in the book?
Carmilla (1:44pm): Huh?
Unknown (1:45pm): Harry Potter. How far have you gotten in it?
Carmilla (1:45pm): Who is this?
Unknown (1:46pm): LAURA.
Of course it was. Maybe she should just put her in her contacts already so she didn't have to ask every time. Or even better, the girl would just stop texting her altogether. But she knew that the latter wasn't something that she actually wanted. Whether she would ever admit it or not, it was fun to annoy the girl back. So fine, she gave in. Not like it would last long though. In a few weeks Laura would get bored with her, and that would be that.
Carmilla (1:46pm): Oh. Right.
L (1:47pm): How's that hangover treating you?
Carmilla (1:48pm): How do you know about that?
L (1:49pm): You drunk texted me last night. Or should I say, this morning.
She didn't remember that. She didn't remember most of what happened last night, actually. Her and LaF were gonna have to talk so they could fill her in. Hopefully she hadn't done anything too embarrassing...
L (1:52pm): You never answered me.
Carmilla (1:52pm): About what?
L (1:53pm): Harry Potter.
Carmilla (1:54pm): Like, halfway or something, I don't fucking know.
L (1:55pm): Have you read it before?
Carmilla (1:56pm): No.
L (1:56pm): If you don't mind me saying, you don't really seem like the person to read Harry Potter.
Carmilla (1:57pm): You don't know me.
L (1:57pm): Well I'm trying to, if you would cooperate.
Carmilla (1:58pm): Why are you so gungho on this friendship?
L (1:58pm): Why are YOU so against this friendship?
Carmilla (1:59pm): I asked you first.
L (1:59pm): You are so irritating.
L (2:03pm): How are you liking it?
Carmilla (2:04pm): You're gonna have to be more specific…
L (2:04pm): Harry Potter.
Carmilla (2:05pm): Oh, we're back on that train again.
L (2:05pm): Well if you would just answer...
Carmilla (2:06pm): Cupcake, I try not to think about a book too much until I finish it.
L (2:06pm): Well, let me know when you do!
Carmilla (2:07pm): Ugh, even seeing an exclamation mark makes my head hurt.
L (2:08pm): Well, you have no one to blame but yourself for your alcohol consumption.
She would have rolled her eyes if she knew it wouldn't make her headache worse.
/
"So…" LaF nudged Carmilla with their elbow. "How's the reading coming along?"
"Not you too." She whined in response, immediately regretting coming to the lab to watch LaF perform obnoxious experiments.
She still had a headache from her hangover from Hell, and really didn't want to deal with this.
"Too? Who else has been asking?"
Oh, yeah, she hadn't told LaF about Laura. But why would she? Not like it was a thing. Not really.
"Long story short: This girl left her number in the Harry Potter book I checked out. I texted her saying she shouldn't do that because of creeps. She texted back. And hasn't stopped since."
"Wait, why did she leave her number in the book to begin with?" They asked.
"She wanted someone to talk about Harry Potter with. Instead, she got a huge influx of dick pics." Carmilla laughed to herself.
They made a disgusted face. "Ew."
"She seems like a goody two shoes. Naive about the world around her from what I can tell."
"Sounds like the kind of girl you hate. So why keep talking to her?"
Carmilla shrugged. "She's somewhat amusing."
That wasn't a lie, she was. And Carmilla liked to irritate her. But other than that, she really didn't have an answer as to why she kept on replying to her messages instead of just deleting her from her contacts and blocking her number.
"Uh huh." The redhead smiled. "Or you just like talking to pretty girls."
"I have no idea if she is pretty or not, and I don't care."
"Whatever you say…"
/
Sunday night, Carmilla sat in her usual corner of the library, working on her homework. She's been at it for a few hours already and her eyes hurt. Taking off her glasses, she tossed them down onto her open textbook and rubbed her eyes. She debates on going for a quick stroll around the floor, but naturally doesn't trust leaving all of her things here unattended, so she sits back in her chair to rest her back. Being hunched over a book for hours on end was not good for the spine, and she heard a satisfying pop before she relaxed. Moments later, her phone vibrates on the table, making it scoot a few centimeters.
L (8:33pm): Tell me something about yourself.
Carmilla (8:34pm): How about no.
L (8:34pm): Fine. I'll tell you something about me.
L (8:35pm): I'm 19. Born and raised here in Toronto. Currently working towards my dream of being an investigative journalist.
Carmilla (8:36pm): Want a medal for that, Lois Lane?
After a few minutes without a reply, she pinched the bridge of her nose and got back to work. Or tried. She hated when she said something and Laura wouldn't respond in a timely manner like she usually did. Fucking Hell. Taking her phone back in her hands, she typed out the bare minimum, hoping it would suffice.
Carmilla (8:49pm): 21. Toronto. English.
L (8:51pm): Thank you.
Carmilla (8:52pm): Whatever.
/
Carmilla (4:14pm): Finished the damn book.
L (4:16pm): AND?!
Lord, she could already tell this was a mistake.
Carmilla (4:16pm): Even though I wasn't expecting much to begin with, it was a bit of a letdown.
L (4:17pm): WHAT!?
Carmilla (4:18pm): Stop yelling at me through text.
L (4:18pm): Sorry. How come it let you down?
Carmilla (4:19pm): Probably because fucking LaF hyped it up so much over the years. But it was obviously written for kids. The world is somewhat interesting, but it's hard to ignore the fact that it's a children's book.
L (4:21pm): LaF?
L (4:43pm): I mean, the book was meant for 11 year olds when it came out, and you were supposed to grow up with Harry in each book, so I can see why you feel that way. But I promise, it's worth continuing the story.
Carmilla (4:43pm): Oh, LaF is short for LaFontaine. They're my best friend.
Carmilla (4:44pm): I don't know. I might give it another shot, but we'll see. I have to be in the mood.
L (4:45pm): LaFontaine as in Susan? She's in my Math class.
Carmilla (4:46pm): They*. LaF doesn't identify as female or male, so They/Them pronouns when referring to them.
L (4:46pm): Oh, I'm sorry!
Carmilla (4:47pm): Well you didn't know.
L (4:47pm): Still. Sorry. But now I know, and if I ever talk to them, I will not embarrass myself or make them uncomfortable. So thank you for informing me!
Carmilla was a bit surprised. Pretty much anytime she had to tell someone about how to refer to LaF, she got weird reactions. But Laura apologized and corrected herself immediately. It was nice to see not everyone was an ignorant douche. And maybe talking to her wasn't the worst thing ever.
/
L (9:12pm): Want to play a game?
Carmilla (9:13pm): Not particularly.
L (9:14pm): Oh, come on, grumpy cat. Have a little fun once in a while.
Carmilla (9:15pm): I do have fun. Just not your definition of the word.
L (9:15pm): Pleeeeeaaaaase :)
Carmilla (9:16pm): You're not gonna stop begging until I do, are you?
L (9:16pm): Wanna keep saying no so you can find out?
Carmilla (9:17pm): What game?
L (9:17pm): I'll say a word and you reply with the first thing that comes to your mind.
Carmilla (9:18pm): Sounds boring.
L (9:18pm): Just play along for a little while.
Carmilla (9:21): Fine…
L (9:21pm): Yay! Ok, I'll start.
L (9:21pm): Purple.
Carmilla (9:22pm): Nurple.
L (9:23pm): Carmilla!
Carmilla (9:24pm): That's my name, don't wear it out.
L (9:24pm): Can you be mature for five minutes, please?
Carmilla (9:24pm): That sounds like way too long to me.
L (9:25pm): I'm not amused.
Carmilla (9:25pm): God. Fine.
L (9:26pm): Desk
Carmilla (9:26pm): Raven.
L (9:27pm): What the heck does that have to do with a desk?
Carmilla (9:27pm): It's from the riddle: "Why is a raven like a writing desk?". You've never heard that?
L (9:27pm): No.
Carmilla (9:28pm): It's from Alice's Adventures In Wonderland. You should read it sometime.
L (9:28pm): Strange, but I'll look into it. Anyway, back to the game!
L (9:28pm): Shoes.
Carmilla (9:28): Socks.
L (9:29pm): Blanket.
Carmilla (9:29pm): Picnic.
L (9:30pm): Book.
Carmilla (9:30pm): Poetry.
L (9:31pm): Cup.
Carmilla (9:31pm): Water.
L (9:31pm): Lamp.
Carmilla (9:32pm): Are you just listing things in your room?
L (9:32pm): ...No.
Carmilla (9:33pm): Yes you are. My turn.
Carmilla (9:33pm): Dog.
L (9:33pm): Cat.
Carmilla (9:34pm): Laughter.
L (9:34pm): Home.
Carmilla (9:35pm): Ocean waves.
L (9:36pm): Relaxation.
Carmilla (9:36pm): Stuffed animal.
L (9:37pm): Friend.
Carmilla (9:38pm): Car.
L (9:45pm): I'd rather not play this game anymore.
/
Carmilla sighed and dragged her fry through a glob of ketchup. "I don't know, she just clammed up after that and she hasn't texted me since. That was two days ago."
"Hm..." LaF hummed thoughtfully.
"She said she's in your Math class. Did she seem okay?"
"Laura is the Laura in my class? Huh. Yeah...she did look a bit down in the dumps."
"Shit."
LaF leaned over the table and stole a fry from Carmilla's plate. "Since when do you care about upsetting girls?"
"I don't."
"Yeah, this doesn't sound like not caring..."
"Fuck off."
"Fine. I'll drop it. But just so you know...she's hella cute."
Carmilla rolled her eyes. "Enough about me, what about you and Perry?"
"What about us?"
She sighed. "So things haven't progressed, I see."
"We're building a foundation before entering a relationship."
"Does she know that?"
"Shut up."
/
Carmilla (1:39pm): You're awfully quiet for...well...you.
L (1:50pm): Sorry. Schoolwork. Lots of it.
That hadn't stopped her before. Yeah, she done fucked up. Letting her head thump against the headboard, she hated that she didn't know how to fix this. Shoving her homework aside with her foot, not in the mood to do anything now, it bumped her sketchbook, which promptly fell on the floor. Then, it was like a lightbulb went off in her head.
/
Carmilla (3:10pm): Go to the library. Harry Potter section. Reach under the shelf. I left something there for you.
L (3:45pm): CARMILLA. YOU DREW THIS?
Carmilla (3:47pm): YES I DID.
L (3:47pm): Right, sorry about the CAPS.
L (3:48pm): It's beautiful. Thank you, but what's it for?
Carmilla (3:49pm): I seem to have said something the other day that upset you, and this is my way of saying that I'm sorry, or whatever.
She felt stupid apologizing for something she didn't even mean to do. LaF was right, since when did she care if she hurt someone's feelings or not? This girl was fucking her up.
L (3:51pm): You have nothing to be sorry for. It was me.
Carmilla (3:52): Do you want to talk about it?
L (3:57pm): When you said 'car', the first thing I thought of was my mother. She passed away in a car accident a few years ago.
Okay, now she felt bad.
Carmilla (3:58pm): I'm sorry, Cupcake.
L (3:59pm): Don't be. You didn't know.
L (3:59): Thank you for the drawing. I'm putting it on my wall :)
/
L (5:15pm): Out of curiosity, how come you're an English major instead of pursuing something in the arts? You're really talented.
Carmilla (5:16pm): I thought about it, but it's always been just a hobby. I think that's why I enjoy it so much, because it's a side thing. If I did it all the time, I'm afraid I would grow tired of it.
L (5:16pm): Fair enough.
Carmilla (5:17pm): What about you? Why Journalism?
L (5:18pm): I've always been pretty contained in a bubble almost, with my Dad protecting me from anything remotely dangerous...and interesting. I want to explore and learn new things, and inform people about those things. It's all just so exciting. There is so much out there in the world that we don't know about, and I want to find those things and let others know.
Carmilla (5:20pm): I have a feeling you're going to be very good at that. You're nosey.
L (5:22pm): Ha Ha, very funny.
/
L (7:21pm): What do you look like?
Carmilla (7:22pm): A creature of the night.
L (7:22pm): Don't be creepy.
Carmilla (7:23pm): Not kidding tho. Dark hair, dark eyes, dark clothes, pale skin, hates the sun.
L (7:24pm): Are you telling me that you're secretly a vampire?
Carmilla (7:25pm): I VANT TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD
L (7:25pm): Now who is misusing CAPS!
L (7:25pm): I wonder what I would taste like to a vampire…
Carmilla (7:26pm): Ok, you just made it creepy.
Carmilla (7:26pm): And I'm sure you'd taste like pure sugar, with all the cookies you eat.
Carmilla (7:26pm): What about you? What do you look like?
L (7:27pm): LaFontaine hasn't told you?
Carmilla (7:28pm): No.
L (7:29pm): Dirty blonde hair. Brown eyes. 5'2''.
Carmilla (7:30pm): Maybe I should start calling you Shortcake instead of Cupcake.
L (7:31pm): DONT YOU DARE
Carmilla (7:32pm): CAPS!
/
L (10:00pm): Name your guilty pleasures...go!
Carmilla (10:03pm): I have no guilty pleasures.
L (10:04pm): Everyone has guilty pleasures, come on.
Carmilla (10:04pm):Sorry, you're asking the wrong girl.
L (10:05pm): Ugh! You're so difficult.
Carmilla (10:05pm): That may be true, but this time I'm not trying to be. I'm pretty much open to trying anything, and if I like it, what is there to feel guilty about?
Carmilla (10:06pm): What about you, Ms. Goody Two Shoes? What are your guilty pleasures?
L (10:06pm): I know this attempt is probably futile, but I ask of you not to make fun of me.
Carmilla (10:07pm): I'll do my best, but I make no promises.
L (10:07pm): Okay. Well...I have a soft spot for the Twilight books...and movies.
Carmilla (10:07pm): *Resisting...urge...to...barf*
L (10:08pm): You know what? The character development that Bella goes through in all of the books is actually quite inspiring. She starts out as a weak human who is pretty down on herself, but by the end, she is not only more confident, she turns out to be the most powerful one they have to use against the bad guys. Of course that's all in my opinion, many disagree.
Carmilla (10:09pm): Whatever you say, Creampuff.
Carmilla (10:10pm): Anymore guilty pleasures you need to get off your chest?
L (10:10pm): Ketchup chips! Oh my God, they are so good! I ate an entire bag in less than a day once and the tummy ache was worth it.
Carmilla (10:11pm): That sounds revolting.
L (10:11pm): Don't knock it until you try it.
Carmilla (10:12pm): You misunderstood, when I said I was open to trying anything, I meant sexually.
L (10:12pm): Don't be crude.
Carmilla (10:14pm): If ketchup chips is the thing that gets you so hot and bothered, the thing that needs spicing up is your sex life.
L (10:15pm): I don't have sex with anyone I'm not in a relationship with. Besides, I do just fine on my own, if you know what I mean.
Carmilla (10:15pm): ...Did you just admit to masturbating?
L (10:16pm): It's a perfectly normal thing to do!
Carmilla (10:16pm): Don't I know it ;)
/
Carmilla (1:19pm): Since you usually ask the obnoxious questions, its my turn.
Carmilla (1:20pm): Favorite show from your childhood. Go.
L (1:20pm): Scooby Doo! I particularly liked Velma.
Carmilla (1:22pm): Of course, why didn't I guess that, it's so obvious.
Carmilla (1:22pm): I was more of a Daphne girl though. For obvious reasons.
L (1:23pm): And what is yours?
Carmilla (1:23pm): I have to say, I'm pretty partial to The Powerpuff Girls.
L (1:24): I could see you as Buttercup. Got the attitude down.
Carmilla (1:24pm): I'll take that as a compliment. She was the most badass one of them all.
L (1:24pm): Bubbles was always my favorite.
Carmilla (1:25pm): I can see the similarities.
L (1:26pm): Was that supposed to be a compliment or insult?
Carmilla (1:26pm): Wouldn't you like to know...
/
"How do you get any work done when you're texting her all day?" LaF asked, scratching their head with the eraser end of the pencil.
Carmilla looked up from her phone and across the library table. "I don't text her all day."
"Uh, yes you do. It's literally all I've seen you do these past few weeks."
"Whatever. If I don't text back relatively quick, she'll just send more until I do. I just nip it in the bud before it gets worse."
"Sure, keep telling yourself that."
She sighed, then smirked. "So, still building that foundation?"
"Fuck off."
/
L (4:14pm): Did you have any pets growing up?
Carmilla (4:15pm): No. You?
L (4:15pm): A cat. But he was already kinda old when we adopted him, so he was only around for a few years. I barely remember him :(
Carmilla (4:17pm): Cats are bitches anyway. I want a dog.
L (4:18pm): Technically speaking, it's some dogs that are bitches.
Carmilla (4:18pm): Oh my god. Fine. Cats are fucking crazy. How's that?
L (4:19pm): Well, not all cats are crazy. Some are so darn sweet you just want to kiss and hug them constantly.
Carmilla (4:20pm): Gross.
L (4:20pm): It's true.
Carmilla (4:21): Not in my experience.
L (4:21pm): You just need more experiences.
Carmilla (4:22pm): I think not.
/
Carmilla (10:56pm): I can't believe you listen to that Top 40 crap.
L (10:57pm): Not all of it is crap!
Carmilla (10:57pm): I beg to differ. The last great music decade was the 80s. Most everything past that is an embarrassment.
L (10:58pm): Well it's a good thing I don't care what you think!
Carmilla (11:00pm): Listen to this and tell me this kind of music is still being made. Hint: it isn't.
Carmilla (11:00pm): watch?v=DW9ZcESh410
L (11:03pm): Isn't that just a cover of a Top 40 from back in the day?
Carmilla (11:03pm): You're missing my point.
L (11:04pm): I got your point. But you know, people have different tastes.
Carmilla (11:04pm): And some are right and others are wrong.
L (11:05pm): I never said I didn't like it.
Carmilla (11:06pm): But you didn't say you did. You should lead with that next time.
L (11:07pm): Urgh. *facepalms*
Carmilla (11:07pm): Lol.
Carmilla paused. Did she really just use "lol"? She cringed...the day has come. She's joined the masses in text speak. The end must be near.
/
She never thought that she would see the day, but it is here, and she can't really say that she didn't enjoy it. Staring back up at her was a mixed CD...that she made for Laura. Sure, she's made ones for herself in the past, but she never made one for another person before. It felt so 90's of her. But there was a reason for it! She had to give Laura the gift of excellent music before it was too late, and the Top 40s took over and consumed her. Okay, maybe that was slightly over-dramatic, but hey, this is serious business. And at times like this, she wished she knew where Laura's dorm was so she could just shove it under door and not have to creepily look around to make sure no one was watching when she taped the CD to the underside of the Harry Potter shelf. But in a way this was more fun, and she kinda liked making Laura work for it.
Carmilla (2:46pm): HP section, under shelf.
L (3:25pm): Omg…
Carmilla (3:26pm): Your musical education begins.
/
"Seriously, I think you need your phone surgically removed from your hand." LaF said as they approached. "What happened to Carmilla 'I hate technology' Karnstein?"
"Can't live with it, can't live without it. So I've learned to co-exist."
LaF scoffed and tossed their bag down onto the grass and sat next to Carmilla. "Or you just can't live without Laura."
"I can live fine without Laura."
"Uh huh. You know you've been talking to her more than me. I'm starting to feel neglected."
Carmilla scoffed. "No I don't, and I see you every day. I've never seen Laura in person."
"Just because you have been in the physical presence of me doesn't mean you were here mentally. You're always so distracted, waiting for her next text or writing her back."
"Dude, you were the one trying to get me to adapt into the digital age, now you're complaining."
"Not complaining, just stating how things are seen from my point of view."
"You know what?" She started, holding up her phone and making a show of holding the power button until it shut off completely. "There. I'm all yours."
"I didn't say you had to do that…" They replied half-heartedly. "But now that your hands will be free, how about a Mario Kart racing marathon?"
Carmilla smiled and stood up, grabbing her bag and throwing her phone into a pocket. "Get ready to have your ass handed to you."
"Not a chance!"
/
L (6:16pm): I really liked tracks 2, 5, 9, 12, and 14 in particular. But the whole CD was good.
Carmilla (6:17pm): See. Good music doesn't need auto-tune or stupid electronic noises.
L (6:18pm): You know it's only fair that you listen to a CD that I make now, right?
Carmilla (6:18pm): Whoa, now hold up. I didn't agree to that.
L (6:19pm): I didn't agree to listen to yours, but you already put it in the library for me to pick it up!
Carmilla (6:20pm): :P
L (6:20pm): Carm.
She paused for a second. That was the first time that Laura had ever called her anything but her full name. Well, not counting Jerkface and Asshole. She typically hated when people tried to call her anything but her full name, but this time she didn't really mind. Which confused her. A lot of things about Laura confused her…
L (6:22pm): I promise it won't be bad.
If anything, this would be the thing that kills her...
Carmilla (6:23pm): Fine.
/
L (11:05pm): Cookies are life.
Carmilla (11:05pm): For once, I don't have an argument.
Carmilla (11:06pm): Though with the amount that you eat, I'm surprised that you haven't turned into one.
L (11:08pm): I wonder what I would taste like if I turned into one.
Carmilla (11:09pm): Asking the important questions, I see.
L (11:10pm): I mean, would I taste just like a pure cookie, or am I still kinda human?
Carmilla (11:11pm): You're so weird.
/
"We going out tonight, or what?" LaF asked, coming into Carmilla's dorm room without knocking.
"Nah, I don't feel like it." She said, not lifting her head up from her homework.
"This is like the fifth week in a row that you don't want to go to a club on a Friday night. Who are you and what have you done with Carmilla Karnstein?"
She glanced up at her friend over the top of her glasses. "Just haven't been in the mood to rub up against sweaty people flailing around on a dance floor."
"Hey, I'm not saying it's an entirely bad thing. I haven't seen you not want to go get drunk and hook up with random chicks in forever."
She shrugged. "Well, maybe I'm growing up."
"Or you like someone and don't feel the need to distract yourself with random girls.."
"I don't like anyone.."
"Carmilla, when are you going to stop fooling yourself?"
She was starting to get annoyed. "What are you talking about?"
"You can't be that oblivious."
She stared at LaF, raising an eyebrow.
"You like Laura."
"What? No I don't."
LaF smiled. "Yes, you do."
"No, I don't."
"God! What is it going to take for you to realized that you are in love with this girl?"
She took off her glasses and closed her textbook. "Whoa, whoa, whoa...hold up now. No one is in love with anyone."
"You don't have to say it. It's written all over your face when you smile at something she says in a text. Or the way your eyes light up when you talk about her. Dude, she's got you good."
/
There was no way that she, Carmilla Karnstein, was in love with Laura...fuck, she didn't even know her last name. There! She can't be in love with someone without knowing the most basic thing about them! LaF didn't know what they were talking about, and they should focus on their own romantic life than what was happening in hers. Which is nonexistent. She's been focusing on school work, actually attending all of her classes, and getting great grades. Partying had only brought her down, and she felt as though her life was finally starting to get on a good track. She was happy, for the first time in years, and it was all because of herself. Well, okay that wasn't the entire truth. Laura had pushed her to attend classes in a way that hadn't made her feel like she was being talked down to, like her teachers had in high school.
So what? She admitted that Laura had came into her life, in a rather odd way, but stayed and actually made things better. It was nice to have another friend, LaF being her only one. Perry was only in her life the little that she was because of LaF, so they weren't really close enough to be friends, at least not yet. And Laura...she was annoying, headstrong, and funny, and adorable. Adorable? Ugh, yeah, that word was now in her vocabulary. Bleh. But they had more in common than either would have guessed. She got excited every time her phone buzzed, and when it wasn't Laura, it was a little disappointing. They talked most of their days, even when one or both were in classes. And they talked until Laura went to bed, which was always earlier than her. And they texted each other good morning. Wait...oh fucking fuck.
/
Carmilla (4:59pm): What's your last name?
L (5:00pm): If I'm going to share that information, you know I'm going to want yours in return.
Carmilla (5:05): Okay.
L (5:06): Hollis.
Laura Hollis. Her heart fluttered in her chest. What the fuck? She was unnerved by how easily that was happening on a daily basis now. The feeling itself felt good, but her head kept saying that she's already gotten to close. Too attached to the girl on the other side of the texts that she's never even seen in person, or heard her voice. How could she be this affected by someone who is essentially a stranger? No...she's not a stranger. Carmilla knows Laura. She knows her favorite Harry Potter book and movie. She knows her favorite color is yellow. She knows that her favorite animal is owls, and that she even has an owl lamp in her room. She knows that her father is very over-protective, but incredibly loving. She knows she's scared of spiders. She knows Christmas is her favorite holiday because of BBC specials that she watches with her Dad, and the fun sweaters that she gets to wear.
And shit...and she knows she has feelings for her. Strong feelings.
Carmilla (5:10): Karnstein.
She knows that since Laura grew up here, she would most likely know her name, but she wasn't scared to have her know. Not anymore. It was time. Laura had shared things about her mother that she said she hadn't even talked about with her Dad. It made her feel special, that she was the one Laura felt comfortable enough talking about it to. But she knew their relationship wasn't equal. She hadn't opened up too much about herself in comparison, but there was a reason for that. She didn't want pity. Much like Laura didn't want for her mother's death, she didn't want it either. And she hadn't talked about it with anyone, not even LaF, since it happened. But Laura was so compassionate, and if anyone could understand, it would be her. She'd lost her mother and brother in a robbery of their house that went terribly wrong. And because of her mother's notoriety, everyone in Toronto (hell, even everyone in Canada) knew about the tragedy.
L (5:12pm) As in...Karnstein Industries?
Though it is no longer Karnstein Industries. She sold the company, not wanting to take over for her mother at such a young age. Since then, she's carried the guilt about selling it, but what was a stupid eighteen year old with absolutely no business experience to do?
Carmilla (5:13pm): Yes.
L (5:14pm): I remember hearing about it. When it happened. I'm so sorry, Carm.
Carmilla (5:14pm): Thanks, Cupcake.
L (5:17pm): Do you...want to talk about it?
She looked over to the foot of her bed where her shelves were. Places in between two stacks of books was a framed picture of her, her mother, and her brother Will. Staring at it for a couple minutes, she took a deep breath. Yeah. It was time.
Carmilla (5:21pm): Okay.
/
Carmilla (1:30pm): When did you come out?
L (1:30pm): Well...I came out to my neighborhood dog at 14.
Carmilla (1:31pm): I don't know what to say to that.
L (1:31pm) Oh come on, it's cute!
L (1:32pm): But I came out to my Dad just a few months ago, right before I started school. That way in case he reacted badly, I had somewhere to go.
Carmilla (1:32): From what you've told me, I have a hard time believing that your Dad would react badly.
L (1:33pm): I know, but it's scary. Other than Max the dog, I had kept it to myself for so long.
L (1:34pm): And thankfully my Dad was amazing about it. We even watched Imagine Me & You together!
Carmilla (1:35pm): Oh Lord.
L (1:35pm): Sorry if I'm overstepping boundaries, but, did you get to come out before...you know?
Carmilla (1:37pm): If by come out you mean Mother walking in on me in bed with my first girlfriend. Then yes.
L (1:39pm): Omg. How mortifying!
Carmilla (1:40pm): After a lecture about no sex in the house when she was there, she joked about it, so it wasn't that bad in the end.
L (1:41pm): Your Mom sounds like she was pretty cool.
Carmilla (1:42pm): For the most part. Just didn't get to spend too much time with her. She was almost always busy running the company. But we did have some good times.
L (1:43pm): I wish my Mom had still been alive when I was struggling with my identity. She always knew what to say whenever I had a problem.
L (1:43pm): One day I went to her grave and told her everything. I wonder if she heard me…
Carmilla (1:45pm): I have no doubt in my mind that she did, sweetheart.
/
L (12:20pm): HP shelf! I left my CD for you!
Carmilla (1:45pm): Ugh.
L (1:47pm): Carm, don't be like that.
Carmilla (1:49pm): I'm not even out of bed, Shortcake.
L (1:50pm): Don't be a lazy butt!
Carmilla (1:52pm): I hate you.
L (2:53pm): No you don't. Now get up, you're wasting the day away!
/
Feeling underneath the shelf, she plucked free the CD and opened it up. The list of songs was written in the same pink pen that had been used on the sticky note in the book, and it made her smile. However, that didn't last long. The first damn song was by One Direction. She groaned. The things she did for this girl...
/
"So, how are you and Perry doing?" Carmilla asked as she slammed Wario into Peach's kart and into the track wall, stealing first place from her.
"Taking things slow. Both of us don't really know what the Hell we're doing, so it's best."
"That's good news at least. You're actually finally together."
LaF dodged a green turtle and moved their body in time with the joystick. "Yeah, but though it's tough sometimes. Every once in a while I just get the strong urge to want to kiss her, and I know we definitely aren't there yet…"
"I get that. Sucks now, but will be worth it in the end."
Carmilla laid down a line of bananas after her, and laughed as Bowser, Toad, and Yoshi all went spinning.
LaF passed the three with ease and started gaining on Wario with Luigi. "How's Laura?"
"She's been extra busy lately working on her Journalism project, so I haven't been bugging her as much."
"How uncharacteristically nice of you." They teased.
"Whatever. Just don't want the girl to fail because I'm distracting her. College is expensive."
"Uh huh. That's the only reason..."
She sighed. She knew what LaF was hinting at, and usually she would have told them to fuck off by now...but she kind of wanted to talk to someone about it. So she did the previously unthinkable and admitted her feelings.
"Fine. I like her."
Luigi veered off the road and into the grass when LaF turned to her. "I knew it!"
Carmilla crossed the finish line with Wario, placing first, and then sat her controller down.
LaF, paused their side of the screen and turned to her. "Does she know?"
"I don't know. I haven't told her or anything."
"Well, do you think that she likes you back?"
She shrugged. "No idea."
LaF hummed… "Well, I could always find out for you?"
"That's kind of cheating. Giving me information like that without her knowing. It would feel wrong."
"God, this being in love thing really has changed you."
Carmilla groaned and fell back onto the bean bag chair behind her. "I'm not in love!"
"Hey, I'm not saying it's a bad thing. Believe me...I love you and all, but you're much more pleasant to be around now."
"Again...not in love."
And she's pretty sure she should feel insulted about that last part.
"You keep telling yourself that."
/
L (2:35pm): So, it's been a few days since you found out my last name. Have you looked me up yet?
Carmilla (2:36pm): No.
L (2:36pm): Why?
Carmilla (2:37pm): You didn't say that you wanted me to.
L (2:37pm): And since when do you do anything I say?
Carmilla (2:39pm): Quite frequently actually. Getting me to play dumb word games. Getting me to read more Harry Potter even though I didn't want to.
L (2:40pm): Hey! They aren't dumb. And I told you, the series gets better!
Carmilla (2:41pm): And I'm listening to that CD you made.
L (2:41pm): YOU ARE?!
Carmilla (2:42pm): CAPS!
L (2:42pm): YOU KNOW WHAT I WILL USE CAPS IF I DAMN WELL PLEASE!
Carmilla (2:43pm): I love it when you swear.
L (2:45pm): You're so annoying.
Carmilla (2:45pm): Tell me something I don't know, sweetheart.
L (2:48pm): Back to my original question. Why haven't you looked me up?
Carmilla (2:49pm): Like I said, you didn't tell me to.
L (2:50pm): But aren't you curious as to what I look like?
Carmilla (2:51pm): Yes.
L (2:53pm): I'm curious about you too.
Carmilla (2:54pm): Don't you already know what I look like? My face was all over the papers when the incident happened.
L (2:55pm): Maybe so, but that was years ago. And you know me, I don't like to dwell on the sad stuff.
Carmilla (2:57pm): So, we are both curious about each other. Good to know.
/
L (4:12pm): So give it to me straight. How was the CD?
Carmilla (4:14pm): Could have been worse, I guess.
L (4:15pm): I suppose that's the nicest thing you could have possibly said.
Carmilla (4:16pm): I'm just thankful that there was no Iggy Azalea. I can deal with One Direction, but not her.
L (4:16pm): Oh no, I wouldn't even think about that! She's so offensive, I wouldn't want to support her music in any way.
L (4:17pm): Have you heard what the internet has nicknamed her?
Carmilla (4:17pm): No.
L (4:17pm): Igloo Australia.
Carmilla burst out laughing, making her roommate give her a glare. She didn't care though, that shit was funny.
/
"You should just meet her in person." LaF said, taking a piece of pizza out of the box. "I'm telling you, she's cute."
"I don't care if she's cute or not. I can't believe I'm going to say this, but, I like what's on the inside."
LaF licked the grease of their fingers and sat down. "I can't believe you said that either."
Carmilla lowered her head and picked at the pepperoni's on her slice of pizza. "What if I'm not what she expects...or wants?"
"Carmilla Karnstein, are you high?"
"No?"
"Have you looked in a mirror...ever? She'll like what she sees, trust me."
She sighed. "This is stupid. I hate feelings."
"Okay, look. I'm gonna say this once, and you can follow my advice, or not, your choice. You can either hide yourself away from any potential girlfriend for the rest of your life so you don't get hurt, or you can take a chance and tell Laura how you feel. It's your life, and I don't want to tell you how to live it, but I think you are missing something special if you let this girl go."
/
She paced back and forth across her dorm room for the better part of an hour thinking about what LaF said the other night. She wanted to take the chance on Laura, she really did. But she already had two people that she had cared deeply for leave her, she didn't want that to happen again. But if she didn't take this chance, one of these days Laura would get herself a girlfriend of her own and she would have just lost her in a different way. She knew that this whole time over the course of the four months that they've been texting, she'd been falling for the girl. Slowly but surely. And now was her chance to make it real. So badly she wanted to put a face to the words that show up on her screen. To be close to her. To touch her. To kiss her. Yeah, she's turned into a lovesick fool that she's always made fun of. Now she just had to do something about it.
"God, woman up, Karnstein!" She muttered to herself as she picked her phone up.
Carmilla (4:15pm): Hey, can we talk about something?
L (4:17pm): What's wrong?
Carmilla (4:17pm): Nothing.
L (4:18pm): It doesn't sound like nothing.
Carmilla (4:18pm): I like you.
L (4:20pm): Okay...I like you too.
Carmilla (4:20pm): No. I mean I LIKE like you.
Carmilla (4:26pm): Please say something.
L (4:27pm): Sorry. I guess I'm just surprised.
Carmilla (4:28pm): Did I just mess things up between us?
L (4:29pm): What? No!
L (4:29pm): I LIKE you too.
Carmilla (4:31pm): You do?
L (4:31): OMG Carm, you are so oblivious.
Carmilla (4:32pm): So people keep telling me.
/
Carmilla (9:34pm): How many girlfriends have you had?
L (9:45pm): Just one. It lasted less than a year though.
Carmilla (9:45pm): How come?
L (9:47pm): I wasn't out. She was. She didn't want to hide our relationship, and neither did I, but I just wasn't ready for that yet.
Carmilla (9:49pm): Would you hide a relationship now, even though you're out?
L (9:51pm): Nope. Since everything is great with my Dad, I have no reason to hide. I'm actually very active in the LGBT community here :)
Carmilla (9:51pm): I'm surprised you don't have a girlfriend then.
L (9:52pm): I mean...my Lit TA has a crush on me...but as we established, I LIKE someone else.
L (9:52pm): How many girlfriends have YOU had?
Carmilla (9:53pm): A couple. Didn't last long, either.
L (9:53pm): Why?
Carmilla (9:55pm): Well, one only wanted me for my money. The second cheated on me.
L (9:56pm): Wow, girls suck.
Carmilla (9:58pm): Not all of them are bad, I've come to realize.
/
L (2:47am): Tell me a joke.
Carmilla (2:48pm): What the heck are you doing up this late?
L (2:48pm): I decided to give myself Friday off of homework so I watched some movies. The last one was scary and I'm here alone and I'm hearing weird noises. Help!
Carmilla (2:49pm): There's nothing to be scared of. You are safe in your room.
L (2:49pm): But the noises!
Carmilla (2:50pm): They are probably noises that happen all the time, you just don't notice them because you aren't paranoid.
L (2:50pm): Still...tell me a joke so I can feel better. Please, Carm.
She sighed to herself, knowing that she couldn't (and didn't want to) resist Laura's request.
Carmilla (2:51pm): What do you call a gay cowboy?
L (2:51pm): Idk, what?
Carmilla (2: 51pm): A jolly rancher.
L (2:52pm): That's...actually kind of cute.
Carmilla (2:52pm): What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar?
L (2:52pm): I'm afraid to ask...
Carmilla (2:53pm): Man, I blew like 50 Bucks in there.
L (2:53pm): Lol, ew. Are the only jokes you know gay related?
Carmilla (2:54pm): Pretty much.
Carmilla (2:55pm): What do you call a gay dinosaur?
Carmilla (2:55pm): A mega-saur-ass.
L (2:56pm): LOL. You are ridiculous.
Carmilla (2:56pm): Do you feel better now?
L (2:57pm): Yes. Thank you :)
/
L (4:33pm): So...what are we going to do about this predicament?
Carmilla (4:35pm): What predicament is that, Shorty?
L (4:36pm): Well, we LIKE each other. Don't you want to actually SEE each other?
Carmilla (4:37pm): Yes.
L (4:38pm): So then, why don't we?
Carmilla (4:39pm): I don't know, you haven't made any plans.
L (4:40pm): Well neither have you.
Carmilla (4:41pm): You're the one who likes to boss me around. I figured you'd want to set the time and place.
L (4:42pm): I do not boss you around!
Carmilla (4:43pm): Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart.
L (4:43pm): You're so irritating, why do I even LIKE you?
Carmilla (4:44pm): Beats me! But you're stuck with me.
Carmilla (4:45pm): And you really have no one to blame but yourself for that one ;)
/
L (6:01pm): How about we meet at the fountain on campus, say...lunchtime tomorrow?
Carmilla (6:08pm): Okay.
/
"I've never seen you nervous about a girl before." LaF said, amused.
"Well, there's a first time for everything."
This was ridiculous. Laura was just a girl. A girl who she likes. Yeah, she was bound to fuck this up. Why did this perfect girl have to come into her life and turn everything upside down?
"Just take deep breaths. It's not like you're clueless as to how she feels. She likes you."
"That's not helping."
"You'll be fine. Just be yourself."
Easier said than done.
/
L (12:25pm): Hey. I'm here.
She was practically vibrating from head to toe as she walked towards the campus fountain. The butterflies were fluttering around in her stomach full force, and her heart was beating like a galloping race horse making its way around the track. This feeling was so new and foreign, it was scary t realized just how much power one girl had over her. She's never felt this vulnerable with another person that she was romantically involved with. Though, did it count as being romantically involved with Laura when all they had done so far was text? She would have answered no before this whole thing started...but now...yes, she would say that they were. It was weird to think about, but it definitely wasn't outside the norm of today's society. People meet each other online and start dating all the time. Her situation wasn't that much different. She could do this.
Then she saw her. It had to be. She was the only one sitting on the fountain's edge. Her legs dangling in the air, too short to reach the ground. Her dirty blonde hair was swinging in the light breeze. She couldn't see her face from where she was, but she didn't need to. Suddenly, the realization truly hit her. Who was she trying to kid? She's not the confident girl that she tries to portray herself as. She's a weenie. An utter weenie that is in love with an annoyingly adorable puppy of a girl that was sitting there, waiting for her. Her heartbeat kicked into high gear and she started having trouble breathing. No. She had to leave. She couldn't do this. It was too much for her to handle, putting herself out there for this girl who could break her heart easily. Laura probably didn't even know that's how much power she held. And she probably never would either. So she turned and walked away..
L (12:42): Where are you? Is everything ok?
Carmilla (12:45pm): I'm sorry. I can't.
Stupid. She was so fucking stupid.
/
She knew that Laura was mad and disappointed. Somehow the latter made her feel ten times worse. But she gave the girl a few days to hopefully cool down, and then tried texting her.
Carmilla (4:50pm): Hey..
Carmilla (5:29pm): Please, let me explain.
Carmilla (5:36pm): Laura.
Radio silence. At this point, she would much rather have her yelling at her through text than nothing at all. How was she going to make up for this?
/
Focusing on her schoolwork was getting harder and harder as time passed with no word from Laura. Not knowing what was going on in the girl's head was so vexing. And to be honest, it was making her stomach hurt with the stress. She really had screwed up, and there was no one to blame but herself.
Carmilla (9:12pm): Cupcake.
Carmilla (9:23pm): I'm sorry.
/
Since Laura hadn't given her any sort of response, she figured that maybe just telling her what happened would change something.
Carmilla (4:16pm): That day...I saw you sitting there at the fountain, and all my nerves that were already jittery just full on went out of control. I panicked, and I didn't know what to do...so I ran. I didn't mean to hurt you.
/
Carmilla (7:40pm): Please talk to me.
Still nothing. And for the first time in years, Carmilla allowed herself to cry. She buried her head in her pillow and cocooned herself in her blanket. She didn't come out for days.
/
There was something in her that told her that she needed to try once more. Her heart encouraged this feeling, but her brain wasn't sure it was a good idea. Laura hadn't answered her and had been silent for over a week. Nearly two at this point. Those signs were telling her to just give up. That Laura was much better off without her. That she didn't need her. That was probably true, but she's always been stubborn. One last try, then that was it.
Carmilla (1:34pm): Please, Laura. Give me a second chance.
She waited with her phone in hand for the rest of the day, but no message ever came through, lighting up her phone like it would her heart. Finally before she went to bed, she typed out one last message, because at this point, what did she have to lose? It had been a long time coming, and she hated that it had to be said like this...but she needed the girl to know.
Carmilla (2:00am): I love you.
/
The next day, when she was still wallowing in her self pity, her phone vibrated on the bed next to her. When she saw who it was, she nearly jumped with joy. Unlocking her phone, she read the message.
L (2:32pm): Did you mean it...what you said last night?
Carmilla (2:32pm): Yes.
L (2:40pm): I was so excited to see you that day, and when I got that text...it really hurt.
Carmilla (2:41pm): It won't happen again.
Carmilla (2:56pm): I miss you so much. I'm sorry I suck.
L (2:55pm): I've missed you too, Carm.
Carmilla (2:56pm): You're the first person in a long time that I've let get this close. It's scary.
L (2:57pm): I'll prove to you that I'm not like those other girls. You can trust me.
L (2:58pm): Now prove to me that I can trust you.
/
L (7:34pm): I've been thinking. I may have overreacted with not talking to you for nearly two weeks. I'm sorry.
Carmilla (7:40pm): Don't be. I deserved it.
L (7:42pm): No, you didn't. You may have stood me up, but I should have let you explain before giving you the silent treatment.
Carmilla (7:46pm): I can only speak for myself, but...love makes people do stupid things.
Carmilla (7:47pm): I'm clearly no expert on feelings, so I'm going to mess up. A lot, probably.
L (7:47pm): I'm not perfect either. So, we can figure it out together. Okay?
Carmilla (7:48pm): Okay.
/
L (8:58pm): Do you ever stop and think how crazy this is?
Carmilla (8:58pm): How so?
L (8:50pm): We've only known each other a few months, never seen each other...not really anyway, and never heard the other's voice. Yet we have such strong feelings.
Carmilla (9:00pm): I used to think it was crazy. Now I'm grateful.
Carmilla (9:01pm): Whether you know it or not, Laura Hollis, you have changed my life. For the better.
/
L (5:21pm): Tomorrow. HP shelf. 3pm.
Carmilla (5:22pm): I'll be there.
Carmilla (5:22pm): I promise.
/
"What if I screw up again?"
"Stop worrying about all the 'what ifs'. She's waiting for you, literally. All you have to do is just show up."
"This is why I'm not cut out for relationships."
LaF huffed and looked at their watch before straightening their back and pointing a finger at Carmilla. "You are Carmilla Karnstein. Resident badass. Act like it and stop overthinking everything and march down to the library before you're late and she thinks you stood her up! Again!"
/
"Badass. You're a badass." She muttered to herself as she strode down the sidewalk and into the library.
Taking the elevator up to the third floor, she couldn't stop fidgeting. Her heart was beating out of control, and she could barely breath as she approached the section where they were to meet. Where it all started. Clenching her fists, she took the last few steps and stopped at the end of the aisle. There she was. Well, the back of her anyway. She was standing at the other end of the aisle, leaning against their shelf, looking down the hall, expecting her from the other direction. Somehow this was more calming, knowing that she wouldn't be observed as she made her way down the aisle, her feet moving, even though her brain seemed to have stopped working. Hearing her footsteps approach, Laura whipped around just in time to see her last few strides, then stopping in front of her. If her brain wasn't working before, it was completely shut off now.
Words weren't coming out of her mouth, and they were both staring at each other with wide eyes. Carmilla because holy fuck she was nervous, and Laura was so goddamn beautiful. And Laura because she looked surprised to see that Carmilla had even shown up in the first place. Then Laura smiled, and everything felt okay. Next thing she knew, the girl leaned up and grabbed the back of her neck, pulling her down so their lips could meet. Her hands automatically found Laura's hips, and she eagerly kissed her back, trying to convey everything she's felt in the last few months. She has never been good with words or expressing her feelings, so she hoped that Laura was getting the message that she was doing her best to send. Suddenly she was turned, her back hitting the shelves, and Laura's mouth grew more aggressive, teeth nipping at her lips.
Carmilla had never thought that she would be the submissive one in the relationship, but it looks like the tables are turned on her with this girl. When tongues met, she was sure that Laura tasted like chocolate chip cookies. Unsurprising. She was also fairly sure that The Prisoner of Azkaban was jabbing her in the shoulder blade, but it was worth it. The kiss slowed after a minute, and both parted for some much needed oxygen. Well, what a way to start this meeting off with a bang. Carmilla definitely wasn't complaining, and Laura looked so damn pleased with herself as she panted, trying to regain her breath. Then she uttered the words that Carmilla felt in her heart, and had been aching to hear, even if she hadn't realized it.
"I love you, too."
