One day Bowser was sitting on his throne eating spicy Doritos chips and sharing some with his faithful companion, Chompy. Chompy was chained to the wall near Bowser's throne, and he considered Chompy to be his closest friend.

"Who's a koopa's best friend? Who's a koopa's best friend?" said Bowser, teasing Chompy and giving him Doritos in exchange for tricks.

"Now, lunge for the plumber and eat him! EAT THE TASTY PLUMBER!" said Bowser, holiding a Dorito in front of him. The chain wouldn't reach to where the dorito was being waved at him, so he started crying. Then Bowser ate the Dorito himself. Chompy cried.

"You're cruel Bowser! I'm gonna run away" said Chompy. Chompy pulled with all his might, and broke free from the chain, bursting out the throne room door, running down the spiral staircase, and exiting the castle.

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!! GOOMBAS, KOOPA TROOPAS! Bob-ombs! Bowser baddies, assemble," ordered Bowser. "We have a situation here. The Bowser baddies assembled themselves in straight rows of ten for each species, and demanded in unison to know what the situation was.

"What's the situation Bowser?" asked the Bowser baddies.

"Chompy ran away from me," said Bowser bursting into tears. "He was the only friend I ever had. Koopa pack, you must return him to me."

The Bowser baddies thought this was Bowser's lame attempt at humor, so they tried to leave the room. Then Bowser leaped out of his throne, furious with his minions. He stomped the floor, and scowled at his Koopa army.

"RAAAAAAAARRRR! Grrrr, who's the boss around here?" said Bowser roaring fiercely.

"You are sir, King Bowser Koopa" replied the baddies in unison. "And we obey and serve King Bowser Koopa at all costs even if it means being squished and killed by Italian American plumbers from Brooklyn," they added.

"That's right, boys. That's the Koopa Pack code of honor. For reals. And that's why you don't back out on Bowser, whose idea was it to leave the room?" asked Bowser. All of the Bowser baddies quivered in sheer fright and fear of what might happen to them if they answered honestly. Unfortunately for them, their shaking and quivering gave themselves away.

"So you ALL wanted to back out on Bowser eh? Then for this insolence, all of you will burn in the molten lava pit!" said

Bowser. Bowser pulled out a gadget with a red button on it, he then proceeded to push the red button, activating a trap door where all his minions were lined up. All of his minions fell into the molten lava pit underneath the trap door.

"AAAAAAAAAUGH! Now you have no army, you crazy king" shouted the bowser baddies as they met their gruesome demise in the lava. Bowser chuckled evily, and stroked his chin thoughtfully.

"Hmm, I wouldn't say that. BACKUP BOWSER BADDIES, assemble," he ordered in a loud vociferous tone.

"YES SIR!" said the backup Bowser baddies lining up.

"My pet just ran away. Chompy is gone" said Bowser.

"We will go and look for him sir" replied the backup Bowser baddies in unison.

"Great, now that's the kind of loyalty I like to see" said Bowser.

One day later...at Yoshi's house...

Yoshi had taken in Chompy.

"Here, Chompy, meet Poochy" said Yoshi introducing Chompy to his dog. Chompy did not take a liking to Poochy. In fact, he was extremely scared of him.

"EEEEEEEEEP!" shrieked Chompy, runing out of Yoshi's house. Then Chompy took a left turn on Rapheal the Raven's Road near Squashed Goomba Gulch, and he headed for Princess Peach's castle. He had heard of Princess Peach's hospitality, delicious cakes, and also of her beauty and soft sweet feminine demeanor. But to his surprise, upon arrival to the castle, he was violently assaulted by a group of Toad warriors carrying spears.

"HALT! IT'S AN INTRUDER! SECURITY BREACH. Priority number one! Minion of King Koopa has entered Mushroom territory" said the toad with a white hat and red spots.

"Let's take him to be executed" suggested the other Toad. So they took him into the castle, and into the Mushroom King's throne room.

"We've found one of Bowser's evil minions" said the toad guards bursting in to the throne room.

"Hmm, execute him at once" ordered the Mushroom King. Princess Peach, who was also in the room came to the defense of the chain chomp.

"He's just a dog" said Peach.

"True, he is just a dog," agreed the Mushroom King.

"A cute dog," added Peach, smiling.

"Yes, a cute dog indeed" agreed the Mushroom King.

"A cute dog that would make a good royal pet" said Peach.

"Yes, a perfect royal pet for my darling sweet daughter, WAIT WAIT, hold on a minute, what did you say? Peach, my lovely daughter, this is a minion of the evil king Koopa, and he must be executed at once" said the King.

"Oh, yeah?" said Peach.

"YES" thundered the king.

"Oh, really?" said Peach, sticking her tongue out at the King in a rebellious manner.

"This is the third time this week I've been transformed by some weird minion of Lord Koopa. I can't take any chances!" said the King.

"Ok, well, daddy? If you let me have that chomp as a pet, guess what I'll dooo!" said Peach, trying to look as innocent and cute and sweet as possible.

"What?" inquired the King.

"I'll bake a cake for you" said Peach, kissing her father on the cheek.

"A CAKE? You make the best cakes in the entire kingdom! Yes, dear, you may have Chompy for a pet" said the King. Peach breathed a heavy sigh of relief. The toad guards relinquished the Chain chomp from their grasp, and Peach took him into her chamber.

"You poor poor chompy wompy. I'll feed you anything you want, and I'll always give you room to play and be free" said Peach.

The chain chomp instantly fell in love with the kind princess and snuggled itself up against her face.

"Aww, little chompy, I'll take care of you forever" said Peach, kissing the chain chomp softly. The chain chomp turned red

and blushed, like a school boy in love.

BACK AT BOWSER'S DUMP, ERR, CASTLE:

The hammer brothers had secretly backed out of the mission to retrieve Chompy. They were IM'ing (instant messaging) each other on their castle basement computer systems.

: Man, King Koopa's finally cracked.

: Yeah. This is worse than when he tried to convince Bowser Jr. that the mushroom princess

was his mother.

: Uh huh, except that that's actually true. Peach IS Bowser Jr.'s mom.

: How'd you know that?

: I received higher level briefings than you did. I'm pretty sure the info was also released through the Freedom of Information Act.

: Ohhhhhhh...I see. Disturbing.

: Yeah, but she was given amnesia by Magikoopa. Normally, she doesn't seem to like Bowser, and doesn't remember that she ever had a baby with him, unless she's under a certain Koopa spell.

Cuts to scene of Bowser in his throne looking into a crystal ball. He sees Peach taking his pet out for a walk in the castle courtyard.

"THE PRINCESS HAS MY PET? This is the perfect opportunity. I can steal back my dog, AND get the princess. Excellent" said Bowser, rubbing his hands together slowly and thinking evil thoughts. He then saw his army seizing Peach, grabbing her and the dog, and carrying them off.

"THEY DID IT! YES! BWAHAHAA! Now I'll have the princess and my pet back" said Bowser. Just then Birdo entered the throne room.

"Sproo! Sproo!" said the Birdo. She/he was speaking in Birdo language.

"What's that? You want to sue the other Koopa baddies for discriminating against you?" asked Bowser.

"SPROO!" replied Birdo.

"Well save it for later, they're helping me get the princess and my pet back. But rest assured, you're one of my most skilled minions, and I'll make sure they don't make fun of you for being....whatever it is that you are! I'm very tolerant. NOW GET OUT OF MY THRONE ROOM!" ordered Bowser. Birdo sighed and left the room. Then his army entered the throne room, and handed Bowser the princess.

"Here is your princess. Majikoopa worked his magic on her, and she now wants to marry you" said one of the Koopa soldiers.

"Excellent. Bring in the silver throne I had been planning to give to her ever since the 1980's," said Bowser. The chain chomp was chewing up Bowser's backup throne for Peach.

"BAD DOG! Stop that. That's the seat of my future queen" yelled Bowser. The chomp growled at Bowser, and fell asleep.

"Good, and stay asleep" said Bowser. The Koopa pack set up Peach's throne.

"Oh, Bowser, you're so big, burly, macho and handsome. I can't wait to rule the Koopa Kingdom with you!" said Peach.

Chompy woke up from his nap, and growled again. He was jealous. Now because of Peach's love for Bowser, and Bowser's love for Peach, no one loved him.

"Heh. Alright then, in that case, would you be a peach and sit by me in this nifty beautiful silver jewel-encrusted throne

I made for you? It's almost as beautiful as you are, but of course, could never ever compare" said Bowser. Peach giggled and sat in her throne next to Bowser.

"Keeping all those koopas, goombas, paragoombas, parakoopas, paratroopas in line must be a hard job for just one person" said Peach.

"Well, after a hard days work of ordering all those koopas and goombas and troopas around, I always take a break and eat chaloopahs! Koopa chaloopahs!" said Bowser. Peach giggled again, at Bowser's humor.

"Oh King Koopa, you're so funny" said Peach.

"Heh! You know what's gonna be really funny?" said Bowser. "It's gonna be really funny when those pesky plumbers show up to stop me, and they see you and me makin' out" said Bowser.

"Oh, Bowser, that would teach them a lesson" said Peach.

"Yeah, not to interfere with love. True love!" said Bowser, attempting to kiss Peach. Peach leaned in and was about to kiss Bowser, but then, just as Bowser said, sure enough, party crashing plumbers, Mario and Luigi, bolted through the door, armed with plungers and fire flowers.

"MARIO!!! This isn't what it looks like" said Peach, turning her head away from Bowser.

"WHAT? I disagree. That WAS what it looks like. Peach is my wife, Bowser Jr. is my son, and we're one big happy family. SEE?

SEE? SON, come in here, and pose for out family pic! We all love each other. You have been mislead!" said Bowser.

"I'm not posing for no pic, King Dad. You never bought me a pet Blarg for my birthday" said Bowser Jr. from across the hall.

"Okaaay, that was a bad turn of events, well, ahem, you know what? I HATE YOU PESKY PLUMBERS! RAAAAR! I'll kill you both!" said Bowser. Peach confronted him.

"Ahem, I'm the queen here? I think I have a say in this" said Peach.

"NO! YOU DON'T!" said Bowser, stomping the ground and having one of his immature temper tantrums. He was still the spoiled prince he always was since birth.

"Kill the plumbers! Kill the plumbers" chanted his minions in unison.

"No, send them to the dungeon, and don't let them have any TV Spaghetti dinners" said Bowser.

"Can-a we watcha spaghetti westerns on-a the dungeon TV?" asked Luigi.

"Yeah, I suppose whatever!" said Bowser. But just as the guards were hauling Mario and Luigi away, Chompy the Chain Chomp threw an angry fit and started eating the interior of the castle, as well as chewing on Bowser's tail.

"You stole my girlfriend!" said the chomp. Bowser was really confused.

"You're a DOG! That is so wrong! AAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!" yelled Bowser as the chomp bit Bowser's tail fiercely. Then Peach, seeing that Bowser clearly didn't care about the lives of Mario and Luigi, broke free from her spell, and struck Bowser and his guards with a parasol attack. Then Mario and Luigi joined the fight and beat up Bowser and sent him flying out of his castle.

"Mario brothers, you saved me!" said Peach.

"Yep, and now we all-a have a new pet" said Mario.

"It thinks I'm its girlfriend!" said Peach.

"It'll outgrow that-a phase. Bombette thought I was her boyfriend. And Bowser Jr. still thinks you're his mom!" said Mario. Then they all laughed. Then they looked out the window and saw Bowser running away crying.

"I'LL BE BACK!!!! You'll all see! AND I'LL HAVE MY PET BACK TOO! AND MY WIFE!" said Bowser.

"What a bunch of misunderstandings!" said Luigi. "At least I know Mario is my brother, and I know that for sure!" said

Luigi.

"And I know Mario is my hero" said Peach.

"And Chompy is-a our new pet! I wonder what we should feed him" said Mario.

PART 2 WILL COME SOON!