Harry grimaced as he made his way to the hospital wing. There it was again. That distinct urge to rid his body of his breakfast. Hmmm... must be a stomach bug. After all, men can't get pregnant, right? No, that would just be weird.

He traipsed into the hospital wing and perched on one of the cots while Madam Pomfery wrapped a first-year's arm in gauze.

Once she had dismissed her, she turned to Harry, "Mr. Potter, what have you done this time?"

"I think I've caught a stomach virus."

She gave him a worried glance as she took out her wand and pointed it at his belly. A soft green glow encased his abdomen and she gave him a curious look before ending the spell.

"Mr. Potter, I would normally not ask such a personal question, but when was the last time you engaged in sexual intercourse?"

Harry blushed a red that would make a Weasley jealous. "It's been about two and a half months, why?"

"You're pregnant."

"But... But... Men can't get pregnant."

"True. Normal men can't. But extremely powerful wizards can."

"Bugger!" Harry exclaimed. "Bugger, bugger BUGGER!"

"Who is the father, dear?"

"None of your business!" Harry shouted before rushing out of the wing up to his dorm, where he proceeded to cry on his bed.

And that's exactly how Ron and Hermione found him an hour later, still curled into a ball in the corner of his bed, crying into his pillow. When they discovered the reason for his tears, Hermione automatically wanted to research it, and Ron, automatically knew who the other father was.

"It's Malfoy, isn't it?"