How We Got Here
Chapter One
Present day - Boston - Starbucks
He was heading into a Starbucks when his phone rang. He hated being on the phone when giving his order but the line up would take at least five minutes to shift and so he answered it, hoping that the unknown number wasn't yet another telemarketer.
'Is this Pacey Witter?' It had been eighteen years since he'd heard Dawson's voice but he recognized it instantly.
'Well if it isn't Dawson Leery. Tell me, what's a Hollywood hotshot doing calling his erstwhile best friend?'
'Wow Pace, but it is nice to hear your voice,' Dawson sighed. 'I can't believe we let contact drift.'
'Well you were in Hollywood making a name for yourself - I don't imagine you've had much time. Besides you were pretty mad at me and... ' he shrugged even though Dawson couldn't see down the phone.
'Well thats all in the past,' Dawson interrupted. 'You may have heard that my movie premieres next week.'
'I heard...' Pacey began but Dawson interrupted,
'It's a coming of age saga and you know me well enough to know there's an autobiographical element. We're having a big party before the premiere and I thought it would be really nice if I rounded up the old gang and you all came. That is easier said than done, let me tell you. I'm going to organize everything, flights, hotels, limo, all of it - sort of as a thank you for getting me through the teen years with enough angst to write and direct a movie about it,' Dawson chuckled self deprecatingly and paused long enough for Pacey to get a word in,
'You managed to round up everyone?'
'I found Jen, she's coming. She has a baby man. I can't believe she's a mom...'
'Well we are thirty six,' Pacey cut in but Dawson immediately started up, on a monologue,
'I know we're the right age and all that, but I still feel like a kid. In my head at least. I just don't think I'm ready for all that. Anyway, I got Jen, Jack was in Capeside would you believe it. He's bringing a date but was all mysterious about who. And I'm expecting a call back from Bessie as to where Joey is...'
'Joey's coming?'
'Yes Pace, hopefully she is. You're not teenagers anymore so I can't imagine that would be a problem...'
'No problem, just that I...'
'Bessie said she's in Boston like you. You ever run into her?'
'Yes...'
'Wow, how is she? Man I miss that girl. I can't believe I spent my whole childhood thinking she was my soulmate only to lose touch with her at graduation. If Bessie didn't have the B & B still I wouldn't have known where to look for her. I cannot imagine what she's like anymore. I bet she's still beautiful...'
'Of course,' Pacey interceded,
'And probably still capable of taking you down,' Dawson laughed. 'Look I have to go, I'm running into a meeting and...'
'One thing D,' Pacey interrupted.
'Sure, anything.'
'Can I bring a date?'
'Of course. I would expect nothing less. My assistant will call you in a couple of days. Pass on the details and she'll handle it all.'
'Will do. Thanks Dawson.'
Present day - Boston - Joey's kitchen
'For craps sake,' Joey swore as she accidentally dropped the shopping bag containing the tins onto the kitchen floor, the toilet paper, keys and her handbag all tumbling down, and the bag full of fruits and vegetables falling sideways, apples rolling in every direction. Her phone began to ring at the same moment as the puppy began chasing after the apples, nosing them along.
'Ned, no,' she muttered in exasperation as she answered the phone, 'hello?'
'Joey, it's Dawson,' he sounded thrilled and nervous.
'Oh my god Dawson, I heard you were going to be calling me.'
'I begged your number from Bessie.'
'Ned no...oh for craps sake...' she cursed as the puppy piddled in excitement. 'I'm sorry, the puppy just peed on the floor and ugh, the shopping fell everywhere and now he's trying to eat it...'
'It's ok Joey, I promise. Just say you'll come to my premiere in LA this weekend. Everyone else would be there and I'd be heartbroken if you weren't. I'm taking care of tickets, flights, hotels everything. Just say yes?'
'I have the puppy and...'
'I'll pay for a puppy sitter. Anything you need.'
'It's late notice...' she began sighing as the puppy began going for the box of eggs. 'Ned no,' she tried to hold the phone to her ear as she pulled the eggs from the puppy. 'Crap,' she muttered as one fell on the floor and cracked into a gloopy mess the puppy instantly began eating. 'Look, I'll be there ok. Can I bring a date?'
'A date?'
'Jen said she was bringing a date, so did Jack and...'
'You still speak to those guys?' he sounded taken aback.
'We live close and go away every summer. We used to invite you, remember? So, yeah I still speak to them. And...'
'Then of course. Pacey is coming too would you believe it? He's also bringing a date?'
'Well no surprise there...' she laughed.
'No, I know,' Dawson laughed too. 'All that remains to be seen is how blond she is and how old...'
'Yeah,' Joey sighed as she began to one handedly place items onto the kitchen counter. 'I better go.'
'Sure. My assistant will be in touch.'
'Great.'
Present Day - Los Angeles - Film premier of "The Creek"
'Oh man look at the hotty Pacey Witter just walked in with,' Drue Valentine let out a low whistle and Jen rolled her eyes,
'Tell me how you managed to get yourself invited to this thing?' Jen asked surveying the tall man she'd once crushed on.
'Oh I was in an early Leery production. About ten years ago. Then he called me to audition for a small semi permanent role in the series and the rest as they say is history.'
'That's not history,' Jen gave Drue a knowing look.
'Fine, fine. I insisted on taking him out for drinks, dragged him somewhere where the ladies remove their clothes and we found we liked being drunk around scantily clad women and the rest as they say is history.'
'Well I'm surprised to hear that of Dawson Leery!' Jen crossed her arms.
'I dragged him into the gutter. It's more fun here.'
'Says you. Tell me Drue. You have a girlfriend? A wife? Kids?'
'Kids? Woah there Lindley, I'm only thirty six. I still have time.'
'Only thirty six?' Jen smirked. 'I have a baby you know. A little girl called Amy.'
'Wow, that I wouldn't have guessed. You look fantastic.'
'Thanks, I think,' she rolled her eyes.
'You bring your husband?'
'No,' Jen shook her head, 'I don't have one. I do have a new boyfriend and I brought him,' Jen nodded in the direction of where a man was talking to Pacey and his date.
'Do what's the deal with Pacey and his bird? She looks a bit young. And she reminds me of Potter.'
'Hmm, she does a little,' Jen agreed.
'You seen Potter?'
'She's around here somewhere.'
'And what about you Jenny? You happy?'
'Yes.'
'And Potter?'
'She's very happy.'
'Too bad.'
Present Day - Los Angeles - Film premier of "The Creek"
'Pacey, man,' Dawson slipped into the seat at the table Drue had vacated, 'everyone,' he said with a large smile. 'Who's enjoying the catch up?' he looked at Joey and her handsome, but young, date, Jen and her beau, Pacey, and his scarily young date and Jack who had brought Doug Witter of all people.
'It's really great to be here Dawson. We're all looking forward to the film.'
'Well I hope you like it. I hope you don't hate me,' he chuckled.
'Oh I hope we don't too,' Jen agreed.
'Can I steal Pacey for a quick word?' Dawson asked the table and tugged Pacey up.
'What's up?' Pacey asked.
'I've uh, had a couple of questions about your date. I know you like them young but seriously Pace, I think you may have taken young a little far,' Dawson explained in hushed tones.
'Oh no it's ok,' Pacey shook his head.
'She might say she's eighteen but seriously I don't think she is.'
'She's fifteen,' Pacey stated with a confused frown.
'Fifteen!' Dawson exploded and dragged Pacey further from the table,
'Man, I can't have a scandal like this, it would overshadow the whole premiere...'
'Dawson I think you've gotten the wrong end of the stick. Alice is my daughter. I brought my daughter as my date because what fifteen year old wouldn't want to go to a movie premiere?' Pacey smirked in amusement, especially at the dumbfounded expression on Dawson's face.
'Your daughter?'
'Yes.'
'You have a daughter?'
'I have two. And two sons.'
'Oh my god, who with?' Dawson stared at him.
'My wife,' Pacey grinned, 'who else?'
'You're married?'
Pacey held up his ring finger with its simple band of gold.
'Oh my god, that's actually really funny. There's my sponsor asking who brought the underage girl and you did but it's your daughter. i can't believe it.'
'My son's here too,' Pacey pointed out amused by Dawson's panic and subsequent shock over the circumstances.
'He is? You're kidding me?'
'No, he's Joey's date.'
'What?' Dawson's head turned to the table and the tall young man seated next to Joey with such speed Pacey could have sworn he heard the tendons snap.
'Josh is seventeen. We thought about asking if we could bring the twins but they're just a little young at twelve.'
'Twins?' Dawson's brow was marred with concern and bewilderment.
'Edie and Jay.'
'Your kids with Joey?'
'Yes, we thought you knew. That's why I found your call so funny. You mean you didn't know?'
'No, I had no idea either of you were married, let alone to each other and with kids.'
'Yeah, sixteen years this summer and I'm still as madly in love as ever.'
'You and Joey?' Dawson shook his head apparently uncomprehending.
'Yeah, me and Jo. Did you not get the invitation to our wedding? Look come and sit for five...'
'You only need five minutes? I feel like I missed your whole lives.'
'The last eighteen years maybe,' Pacy admitted with a shrug.
'I just...I thought that today would be about closure, about seeing you all and feeling like I hadn't missed out but had done something valid...I just...'
'Well you've done something impressive Dawson. No one else is Hollywoods hottest director. We're fairly regular people.'
'You know what I thought when I saw Joey again?' Dawson stopped their progress back to the table, 'when she came in I thought my heart had stopped. I thought, here she is, the girl I'm going to marry. I thought I could have it all, the career and the family and the life with my soulmate,' Dawson's eyes were wide, wild even.
'Well that just ain't gonna happen because I have it on good authority that she is very, very into her husband.'
'I get that,' Dawson stated dramatically, 'but I've been living a daydream for years. I thought we were destined. I mean how did it even happen? We left school and eighteen and you two had just been friends. I know you had a thing for her but... And at nineteen you had a kid together?'
'Come sit down,' Pacey dragged him back to the table and smiled to ease Joey's worried face, 'Dawson can't understand how we got together. Apparently he didn't know.'
'Oh tell the story dad,' Alice encouraged from her seat next to Pacey's.
'This was her bedtime story for years,' Josh teased and his sister glared,
'Like you can talk,' she stuck out her tongue and then mouthed an apology at the chastising look from her mother.
'You have time Dawson?' Joey asked and Dawson nodded,
'I think I need to hear this story because there was a very different end to my movie and you're about to watch it and I'm thinking I need to remake it.'
'Oh shut up Dawson,' Pacey nudged him in the arm, 'we all have youthful fantasies that we wonder how they would have played out.'
'Was my mom yours?' Alice asked and Dawson stared at the tall, slim beauty before him with her long dark hair, button nose and large blue eyes. Now he knew, she was an obvious mesh of his childhood friends.
'My what?' he asked, distracted from what she had said in his examination of her features.
'Was my mom your youthful fantasy?' Alice asked Dawson with interest.
'Yeah I guess she was, is. I always thought I'd marry her.'
'Well too late because my dad already did that,' Josh was making a point and he reminded Dawson of Pacey at the same age even though he had Joey's eyes.
'Like I'm going anywhere with the five of you holding me in place,' Joey rolled her eyes.
'Hey Josephine,' Pacey glared.
'And I love you so much I'd die without you,' she dead panned but Pacey just gave a large, happy smile.
'Please do tell the story,' Dawson stared around the table and swallowed back a sudden tide of disquiet at the unexpectedness of the situation. 'We should have time before the movie starts. I mean I have to schmooze a bit but still...really I'd love to know.'
'You wanna start toots?' Pacey gave Joey a look and she shrugged,
'Yeah ok. So, I went off to Worthington, you went off to conquer Hollywood. I dragged Jack and Jen with me and Pacey, he returned from the seven seas and headed to Boston.'
'Tell him about dad being in love,' Alice cut in.
'I was about to,' Joey widened her eyes playfully at her daughter, 'so unbeknownst to everyone except for Jen, Pace had apparently fallen ass backwards in love with me junior year, you know when we were renovating the house into the B&B.'
'Your duet at Aunt Gwen's practically killed him his heart hurt so bad,' Josh intoned dramatically, clutching his heart.
'Watch it kid,' Pacey flicked a nut from the table at his son.
'You used to be a lot more theatrical than Josh was dad,' Alice chimed in, in defence of her brother.
'Fine,' Pacey stood and clutched his heart dramatically, 'it was when Joey stood and sung daydream believer with Dawson, theirvery own karaoke number, that my heart felt like it was severed in two and I wondered how I could exist along side the pain of my unrequited love.'
'Now that's more like it,' Joey nodded as Jen and Jack applauded, along with Alice and Josh.
'Seriously, I died an emotional death that day,' Pacey owned up, Jen nodding,
'I heard all about it.'
'Didn't stop you trailing after her like a love sick puppy,' Alice pointed out happily.
'That it did not,' Pacey agreed. 'And everyday my heart broke more.'
'Why didn't you make a move dad?' Josh asked, rolling his eyes at the timing learnt from childhood,
'I didn't want to risk losing her altogether. When you love someone as much as I love your mom, you stay in their life in whatever way you can and I didn't think she was willing to consider me as a potential lover.'
'Eww dad, do you always have to use that word?' Alice's face scrunched in distaste, a similar look on her brothers face.
'You guys do know how babies are made, right?' Jen patronized.
'You told us Aunty Jen,' Josh blushed.
'I thought your mom and dad had already done that,' Jen defended.
'We thought you'd witnessed something you shouldn't have,' Jack filled in.
'No, thank god,' Alice was also red faced.
'Anyway, we digress,' Joey interrupted.
'My heart was aching something rotten and my soul was blue and so after graduation I planned to leave for the open seas, but not before our big fight,' Pacey looked to Dawson.
'I remember,' Dawson frowned.
'I told you I was in love with Joey,' Pacey said.
'And I lost it,' Dawson stated remembering. 'I thought you were making it up, that you were trying to smooth the way for trying to get her into bed. I think I was suspicious that something was happening and that you had been lying...'
'Only nothing had been happening. We were just friends...'
'Who suddenly fought about everything and in an incredibly emotional way...'
'You swore if I made a move you'd never speak to me again,' Pacey remembered, 'only...'
'Only dad had sworn he'd never forgive himself if he didn't,' Josh filled in, over the fact that this had been his bed time story for years and relishing the story telling.
'So then there was the graduation party,' Pacey stated, 'I had one side of my brain warning me I might lose my best friend of forever if I made a move and the other side of my brain telling me that I needed this girl as much as I needed oxygen, that I justhad to see if she might be mine.'
'So at the party...' Alice interceded,
'Getting there chickadee, getting there,' Pacey smiled at his daughter.
'Before you get there you're forgetting something...' Jen reminded Alice.
'What?' she frowned looking like her mother.
'Whether or not Joey here had an inkling that Pace had a thang for her...'
'Oh I love this conversation,' Josh piped up.
'You tell it Jen,' Joey cringed and Jen smiled,
'With pleasure.'
Eighteen years earlier - Jen's House - Capeside - getting ready for the graduation party
'Wear the skirt and the top, skirts make it easier for wondering hands,' Jen threw a skirt at Joey and snatched the shorts from her.
'Like any hands are going to be wondering up my skirt Jen,' Joey rolled her eyes.
'Not even Pacey's?' Jen sing songed and Joey flopped back on her friends bed,
'I don't think Pacey has feelings for me as you keep saying. We've been friends for forever.'
'Oh come on, that boy is wild for you,' Jen interrupted, 'he buys you walls, he campaigns for sacked head teachers with you, he builds you B&B's and gets you free labour, goes everywhere with you, teaches you to drive, studies with you, begs teachers for extensions for you... but sure he's just a normal friend, no other feelings there at all.'
'Even if Pacey did have feelings for me, which he doesn't, it doesn't change the fact that Pacey and I together would be like halibut with chocolate - we just wouldn't mix.'
'Bull shit,' Jen stared in open mouthed shock. 'You're telling me that when he leans in close like he's constantly doing, the hair on your neck doesn't prickle, that you don't feel alive?'
Jen stared at Joey who was staring at nothing, apparently deep in thought, the tiniest of tell tale blushes staining her cheeks.
'Surely that's just hormones?' Joey pouted and Jen ruffled her hair,
'Yeah, your hormones telling you to jump the guy...'
'As if,' Joey shook her head, 'seriously you're deluded, this is Pacey, I mean sure he's good looking and he has a nice body but it's Pacey. I could never, ever be attracted to Pacey.'
Present Day - Los Angeles - Film premier of "The Creek"
'Never. Ever. Be. Attracted. To. Pacey,' Pacey intoned, 'took you a while to live that down,' he smirked with a loving look at his wife.
'From the second I made the halibut and chocolate comparison I couldn't get it out of my head that you were the chocolate and I was probably the halibut.'
'Well there we disagree,' he gave her a soft look.
'Now we can get to the party,' Alice prompted and Pacey nodded and took over the story.
'The party was at your house, I'm sure you remember Dawson.'
'How could I forget,' Dawson said wanly.
'I told myself I was going to make a move and so I sat on the dock for the first hour until Jo here found me.'
Eighteen years earlier - Capeside - Dawson's Dock - The graduation party at Dawson's
'I've been looking for you,' Joey dropped to the dock beside Pacey and he smiled at her despite his nerves. He always liked it best when she was near.
'Here I am,' he shrugged.
'You're the halibut. I keep telling myself you're the halibut but I don't believe myself,' she mumbled.
'How much have you had to drink Potter?' Pacey nudged her shoulder and she dropped her head onto his.
'Oh I've had loads. Jen gave me at least three vodka and cokes before we came and I've had that many in the last hour because I wanted to tell you something.'
'You did huh? Something that required a lotta Dutch courage?' his heart began to thump optimistically as she turned the full, hypnotic power of her eyes onto him.
'Jen said you like me, she said you have feelings for me, that I'm crazy not to believe her.'
'She did?' his face fell, but her hand was there on his chin, her thumb smoothing the worry away.
'I said that couldn't be true...'
'What if it was true?' he asked and she pouted,
'No,' she half yelled, 'no, you can't do that. I'm making a move, not you.'
'You're making a move?' his heart was threatening to thunder right out of his chest as it rapidly knit the broken bits back together.
'I said that you and I together was like halibut and chocolate,' she twisted on the dock until she was on her knees and leaning toward him, 'halibut and chocolate!' Her hand smoothed up his neck and into his hair, 'only I realized you were the chocolate. And I like chocolate. Hell I love chocolate,' she was staring at him and was so close, so tantalizingly close. 'Does that make me halibut?'
'You could never be halibut,' he whispered his hand cupping her cheek. 'Maybe we're both chocolate.'
'Do you like chocolate?' she asked and he nodded,
'I love chocolate,' he said and then she half fell as she pushed against his hand to press her lips to his. She gasped into the kiss and he could understand why because he felt it too, this ripple, this zing that made kissing her everything even if she tasted like vodka and coke, even if she'd landed awkwardly, half on top of him, even if it took her a couple of minutes to take his cues, because really her kiss was sloppy and well meant but their technique needed refinement, refinement which came when her mouth relaxed and his tongue dominated, because this kiss - this kiss was everything to him.
Present Day - Los Angeles - Film premier of "The Creek"
'You thanked me for making you wear a skirt the next day,' Jen teased as Josh and Alice both said,
'Yuck,' in unison, and then 'jinks,' before smiling at each other.
'I think I thanked you too,' Pacey grinned. 'So I told you Dawson and you thumped me and our friendship died.'
'Well I remember that clearly.'
'You weren't best pleased with me either. And I wasn't pleased with Pacey because he was going off sailing,' Joey said.
'You told me to go,' he stared at her and she smiled,
'I wanted you to stay.'
'They wrote post cards to each other. Mom would send hers to the port a stop down the coast to wherever dads last postcard had come from. She sent them to the post office. They still keep them beside their bed.'
'Thanks Alice,' Joey rolled her eyes.
'Like I didn't know that,' Jack shrugged, 'I think we all did.'
'Only because you've all shared the bed with Pace at one time or another,' she gave them a stern look.
'He can't sleep alone,' Jen defended. 'You were in the hospital with whatever baby it was and Jack, Doug and I drew straws to see who got stuck with Pace.'
'I preferred Jack or Doug to you, it was less uncomfortable when I woke up cuddling,' Pacey admitted.
'Maybe just share the bed with me,' Joey gave him a pointed look.
'Yes ma'am,' he winked at her.
'So you were sending postcards to each other. As friends?' Dawson asked.
'Oh mine were flirty,' Pacey shrugged.
'Outrageously so,' Joey concurred.
'Yours alluded to feelings and well you know...kinky stuff...' Pacey defended.
'Well maybe...ok,' Joey blushed characteristically which surprised Dawson to see this remnant of childhood. 'Only I decided nothing would happen when you got back.'
'Ah yeah, your mother,' Pacey spoke to his children out of habit, 'she came to the dock to tell me nothing could happen between us,' he smiled a ridiculously huge smile.
'Didn't go so well,' Joey admitted.
'Tell him what happened mom,' Josh nudged his mother.
'Such an age appropriate part of the story,' Jack grinned and leant back in his seat taking Doug's hand.
'Fine, fine. So I went down to the docks, as characteristically nervous as you'd expect. Jen had tried to talk me into seeing where it would go. Jack called me crazy. Dawson, you refused to talk to me at all. I was determined to return to the status quo. I don't know why. Fear I guess. So I went down to the dock...'
Eighteen Years Earlier - Boston docks - the summer after graduation
'Wow, the boating life agrees with you,' Joey watched him appear on dock, hair short but still slightly curly, body tanned and more toned than she remembered. She subconsciously licked her lips and then when she realized what she'd done she reminded herself that she was there to say they should be friends and only friends.
'Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes,' he said and then he smiled, the smile that lit up his whole face and she found herself jumping onto the boat. Suddenly he was stepping towards her and she was stepping towards him and then they were entwined in the tightest of all embraces. She couldn't have said who went for the kiss first, they just were kissing, his hands smoothing onto the bare skin of her waist, her hands gripping at his shirt, tugging it up so she could run her hands over his six pack. Since when did Pacey have a six pack, flittered across her mind but she was honestly too busy enjoying the feel of it and his defined pecs to pay much heed to any question or comment her mind might throw at her.
'You have a room Pace?' she hissed and he nodded, his thumbs tucking under the edge of her bra and brushing lightly against soft flesh.
'Hmmm mmmm,' he mumbled nodding, understanding the question exactly as he was supposed to and pulling her below deck. She peeled off her top before the door had closed behind them. The bed was small and as her back landed against the soft covers she was surrounded by his smell and it was wonderful and only drove her need for him further along this crazy path, this path that would result in him pushing into her body, in his panting words of love as he encouraged her legs to wrap around him, as he insisted she fall hedonistically before he did.
She meant to leave his bed, she really did, but she loved being with him. He was playful and fun and just the right mix of heartfelt sincerity.
She insisted it was just sex, but everyone knew better it seemed.
'You're so in love you're blinded by your own heart shaped eyeballs,' Jen told her laughing, especially when Pacey turned up and Joey immediately draped herself all over him.
'It's like you used to be a separate person and now when you breathe I see mini Pacey's floating in the air surrounded by hearts,' Jack told her as they drank coffee one morning in the apartment the four of them shared.
'Oh shut up,' Joey said as she poured a second coffee to take to Pacey who was still sleeping in her room.
Even Pacey teased her, drawing love hearts on her back and initialling them with a P and a J. Telling her he loved her and pretending she said it back. He didn't seem to care about her refusal to recognize things for what they were, even resolving arguments with kisses and love. Until one day she cracked. It must have been three months after his return from sailing. They were all heading back to Capeside and presented with the separation this would involve Joey had latched herself onto Pacey all evening, insisting on sitting half on him as they played games and got drunk, the four of them giggling away over things so funny she couldn't remember what they were. When Jack and Jen had gone Joey had assumed Pacey would sleep in her room, but after going through the bathroom instead of joining her in her bed as he normally did she heard the door to his mostly unused room click. Incensed, outraged and hurt she'd stormed out of bed. She may have only been wearing her matching black lace underwear (all her underwear matched these days as Pacey was constantly removing it) and barged into his room.
'No, no, no,' she yelled with a full on pout.
'What's up pussy cat?' he'd asked benignly from the bed, just a hint of a smirk.
'It's our last night together and you want to spend it alone?' she glared at him, eyes narrowed, and becoming aware that underwear was perhaps not the best choice of clothing for a showdown such as this.
'Why would it bother you? We had sex earlier and this is just sex, right?' he narrowed his eyes at her and she'd grabbed his folded laundry from on top of his chest of drawers and hurled it at him. And when that didn't feel like enough she opened his socks drawer and hurled pair after pair at him, before admitting defeat and clambering into the bed beside him and rolling her body on top of his,
'I love you Pacey, I love you so much it scares me. I want to be with you - all. the. damn. time. I hang, ridiculously, off every word you have to say. I love the feel of your fingers threaded through mine, and the way you brush the hair from my face. Don't make me sleep alone because I don't know how I'm going to do it when I have to in Capeside.'
'Say it again,' he cupped her face in his palm,
'I love you.'
'And again,' he whispered after pressing a kiss to her lips.
'I love you.'
'God Potter, I've been waiting my whole life to hear you say that.'
Present Day - Los Angeles - Film premier of "The Creek"
'And that was the night they made me,' Josh stated grandly and Dawson spit out his drink. He knew it was true, after all Josh had to be seventeen and he and his friends were thirty six, but it all seemed so far from where they'd been when they were at school together. He couldn't imagine the success driven Joey Potter of his youth getting pregnant during her first year at Worthington, let alone by Pacey Witter, and then to keep the baby? He wondered if he should check her head for scars from a lobotomy, but she seemed incredibly relaxed and happy, in love even, and Josh was not her only child. There was Alice and twelve year old twins. It was all quite insane.
'Thanks for that kid,' Joey rolled her eyes at her son. 'But yes it's true, that we were less than careful and your wonderful presence on earth is the result.'
'Thanks mom,' he grinned at her, clearly mocking her.
'So what happened?' Dawson asked and Jen laughed,
'Oh I'm sure you can imagine.'
'Tell me...'
'I was the one to work it out,' Jen stated...
Eighteen year earlier - Boston - The apartment
'I'm getting fat,' Joey moaned as she slumped on the couch, her feet on Jen's lap. Friends was on tv and Joey's words were followed by her pushing the container of Ben and jerry's they were sharing onto the coffee table.
'Too much of lover boys delicious food?'
'You know, you'd think all the sex would burn all the calories,' Joey pouted and Jen laughed,
'You'd think!' her bedroom was after all next door to Joey's.
'And I've been sick this week,' Joey pushed a strand of hair out of her eyes.
'Joey,' Jen sat up, suddenly staring at her friend, appraising whether the stick thin girl was really putting on weight or just feeling that way. 'Are you late?'
'Late?' Joey stared at her confused, not understanding the question. 'Late for what?'
'Your period,' Jen clarified and Joey's eyes widened so much it was almost comical, except of course it wasn't,
'Late?' she grabbed her bag and pulled out her diary, the contents falling to the floor as it fell from her hand as she flicked through the small book, counting, before turning to Jen with a crestfallen face, and two big, fat tears welling in the corners of her eyes.
'So?'
'I'm not just a little late, I'm three weeks late. How the hell didn't I notice? This is me. Things like this just don't happen to me. I'm careful, and organized and I know when I should be on and if I was late...three weeks? This is what you get for falling in love!' she stated irrationally, throwing her diary across the room. 'Come on.'
'Drug store?' Jen asked even though they were in pyjama pants and vests.
'Drug store,' Joey nodded.
Eighteen Years Earlier - Boston - Walmart restrooms
'Same,' Jen turned over the third pregnancy test that Joey had passed her from under the stall door.
'Wait, I'll do another.'
'Where the hell are you managing to muster all this pee up from?'
'I pee when I'm nervous, this situation is highly nerve wracking.'
'Well, I think now you need to come out of the stall and look at the results with me...' Jen said softly and at length the stall door clicked open and Joey stood there looking a complete mess.
'How could I fuck up like this? How?' she asked.
'You need some time to think Jo, but don't think about it like that. Life is like the rolling waves of the ocean, and the best thing to do is go with the flow...'
'Go with the flow?' Joey squeaked, 'my scholarship, my dreams, my life, I might as well be flushing it down the toilet.'
'That's one way to look at it. Or this is the start of something new, different but just as exciting.'
'Pacey is gonna hate me...'
'Hate you?' Jen couldn't help but scoff, 'I don't think so.'
'God,' Joey fell into the smaller girls arms.
'There are other options you know...'
'I know,' Joey sniffed. 'I just...I can't decide to have an abortion when I've only just acknowledged I'm pregnant. But if I don't have one, what kind of life can I hope to have?'
'Talk to Pace,' Jen suggested and Joey nodded.
'I guess,' she looked sick at the notion. 'How do I tell him something like this? How do I tell him I've messed with his entire life?'
'Wow, Jo, calm down,' Jen grasped the shoulders of the hyperventilating girl. 'it wasn't just you who did this...remember that.'
'Oh god,' Joey sunk to the floor, 'it's awful because this baby will fuck everything up, everything and yet I know I want it. I know that's stupid and not thought out or anything that would be sensible but it's Pacey's baby. It's our baby and I want it. And that's stupid because I'm so angry with him, and so angry with me, and fuck...'
'Take some time Jo. This is the biggest decision of your life.'
'I need to talk to Pacey, like now,' Joey pushed to her feet and Jen took her hand.
'Restaurant here we come,' Jen stated.
Eighteen Years Earlier - Boston - Civilization
Joey had insisted Jen left her alone at the restaurant but worried about her friend Jen had stayed, sat beside her, waiting until the end of Pacey's shift. Joey was sure it was the longest half hour of her life. When Pacey finally came through the door and into the restaurant he was obviously in a great mood, one that evaporated the second he saw his girlfriend's face.
'Oh my god, what's wrong? Joey, baby, what's wrong?' he was in front of her, his arm around her, his hand in her hair, a soft kiss to her head.
'I'll leave you...' Jen said.
Present Day - Los Angeles - Film premier of "The Creek"
'So?' Dawson stared at Pacey.
'You want me to tell you about her telling me?'
'Yes,' Dawson nodded. 'I can't imagine you receiving that kind of news, and Joey saying the words... That's even harder to picture.'
'Sure,' Pacey nodded.
Eighteen Years Earlier - Boston - The apartment
'You're scaring the hell out of me here Potter,' Pacey stated as she walked stonily beside him and then into her room once they were home. She sat on the bed and grabbed the stuffed bear Pacey had given her. It made her feel ridiculously young to be hugging a stuffed bear but she needed something to hang on to. 'Jo, please tell me what's wrong? I promise I'll try to help, that I'll do whatever you need,' he beseeched and yet she still couldn't force any words out.
'Unless it's me,' Pacey blanched, 'is it me? I know you've been a little moody lately - did I do something wrong? Forget something? Did I fuck up?'
'We both fucked up,' she whispered and his hands covered his face for a moment.
'Whatever I did I'm sorry, but what we have is good Jo. It's great and I love you so much...please don't give up on...'
'Oh for gods sake Pacey, I'm in love with you. I'm not ending this, not on purpose,' she snuck a hand out and caught his.
'Then I don't understand.'
'I'm pregnant,' the words were flung from her, a mixture of harsh reality, and reverence.
'Pregnant?' he echoed uncomprehendingly.
'Yes. Your baby in here,' she pulled his hand to her stomach. The move was meant to force the reality into him but he turned on the bed so he was lying on his stomach and spread his hands over her flat stomach.
'Really?' he looked up at her and she visibly weakened at the utter disbelief and happiness in his eyes.
'Yes,' she frowned.
'Aw Jo,' he'd somehow managed to throw a kiss onto her stomach and then he was sitting up and gathering her into his arms, holding her close and kissing her cheeks, her hair, and the tears she hadn't realized she was crying. 'We'll work it out. You and I always do.'
'But how? My scholarship, everything. God, this wouldn't be so bad at the end of my last year but this is my first year...'
'Jo, nothing in your life or mine has ever been smooth, we've had rocky seas for years. If there were ever two individuals who could ride out a storm it's you and I, and I have absolutely no doubt that we can do it in style,' he reassured.
'I need my degree, I need college.'
'Then you have it.'
'But how? Words are easy but the reality isn't. By the start of my second year I'm going to have a baby.'
'We're going to have a baby. Let's not forget that whatever happens we're in it together.'
'We are?'
'Of course you daft girl. I some times think saying I'm in love with you is too simple, i mean I'm utterly, life long in love with you. So we have a baby now instead of in five years or ten. We'll be ok.'
'You seem so sure,' she kissed his chin, 'I'm so unsure.'
'Ok, college. You go talk to them, secure a semester off. Not ideal but it'll give you some breathing room. Gretchen did it. Lots of people do. We start a joint bank account and we save.'
'I barely have enough to live on, let alone save...'
'So we move. Into a smaller, cheaper place, just you and I.'
'Away from Jen and Jack?'
'But near to them,' he shrugged. 'In the same building if you want. There's a one bedroom with a den going down the hall. They can get roommates for our rooms. We only need one room. The den should do as a nursery.'
'Ok...' she frowned, 'but money is still going to be an issue.'
'I'll work hard. Then I'll go for a chef job at a different place. Civilization isn't the only restaurant in town and I'm good at this and I can work hard at it.'
'You'd be willing to support me through college?'
'Of course. Then you can get some well paying job and I'll retire...'
'In your dreams buddy...'
'This is my dream Joey. Maybe not now, the timing does suck, but in life. This is what I want.'
'You're that sure about me at eighteen?'
'I was sure about you at 4,' he shrugged.
'You were not,' she frowned.
'I was. Who knows why we fall for certain people, but you do it for me. You make my heart beat harder. I get nervous, even when I shouldn't be nervous. I don't hate that this has happened. I wish for you that it had been in five years but honestly, the idea of spending my life with you and our awesome kid, well that bit is pretty cool.'
'Our kid would be awesome,' she admitted, still not quite able to trust his reaction.
'Our kid will be awesome,' he clarified placing a hand on her stomach.
'And when I get stretch marks and saggy boobs and a fat ass...'
'Oh shut up,' Pacey rolled his eyes, 'I love you. Sure, I do find you quite ridiculously attractive but stretch marks or some extra weight, or even saggy boobs won't change that. Despite all my prior behaviour and remarks, I'm not that superficial. I don't think I'd even see that stuff - I'm just thrilled I get to touch you. I'm even more thrilled that you touch me,' he gave her a smile and she found that she could smile.
'So what exactly do we do?' she looked at him.
'Doctors appointment, college appointment, and promotion. We also enquire about that apartment today. Jen and Jack will fill our rooms easy. In that order and then when you have the baby we find a really, really great sitter.'
'Maybe Grams...' Joey mused.
'Great thinking. Look Jo, this doesn't need to be the end of everything. It can be the start of everything. You can have a kid, a family, a great career. I mean I want that all so I'm not scared. You've only just acknowledged you're in love with me. Is that what you want?'
'I...' she hesitated, thinking, 'I mean I never really thought about my life beyond getting into college, but yes I want a family. I just...I just didn't want to be broke. My whole life has been about the next dollar, always worrying where it would come from.'
'Ah Jo, I wish I could promise we won't be broke. I wish I could promise we'd never have to worry but we will. And we're gonna have to work hard, but you know - that's not something we're bad up. And even if we worry about money, I promise to love you. To love our kid.'
'Really?'
'Yes.'
Present Day - Los Angeles - Film premier of "The Creek"
'And?' Dawson asked leaning forward.
'Hey Dawson man, I'm sorry to interrupt but Carter is here and he really wants to talk to you,' a man around their age approached the table, his hair immaculately styled.
'Shit,' Dawson cursed and then apologized, 'I'm sorry,' he looked at them all. 'it seems I have to go and yet I really need to hear the end of this. I just...well when you watch the movie you'll get it.'
'You could take a trip to Boston?' Joey suggested. 'We all live on the same block. Come have a barbecue. You can meet Edie, Jay and Amy.'
'Really?' he frowned.
'Really, come on man. This was never going to be the opportunity for the best catch up, so come and stay.'
'Next week?' Dawson asked pulled out his diary. 'I could fly in for the weekend.'
'Sure,' Pacey nodded as Joey checked her phone and nodded.
'I'll take Edie to her dance class if Alice can walk Jay to scouts?' Josh offered.
'Can do. I have my play performance in the evening too. Saturday, remember?'
'As if we could forget that,' Josh muttered.
'Josh,' Joey reprimanded. 'Dad and I would never miss that. None of us would. Aunt Bessie and Uncle Bodie are coming with Alex and Rebecca and Grandma and Grandpa, and all your Witter aunts and uncles. I think we're a good fifty per cent of the audience.'
'Ok good,' Alice's face lit up.
'Though I do have to miss it because I promised Ellie that I'd take her out.'
'And you can't miss a date with her because you love her,' Alice stuck her tongue out at her brother.
'You're taking her to your sisters play,' Pacey said firmly.
'But dad...'
'Josh you know how your dad feels about supporting each other at these things.'
'Ok fine,' Josh rolled his eyes, 'I guess Ellie would't mind.'
'Just make it romantic...because you love her,' Alice teased again.
'So what if I do?' Josh looked nonplussed reminding Dawson yet again of Pacey. 'She's smart, she's witty and she's pretty and most of all she likes me.'
'He's been in love with Ellie since kindergarten,' Alice explained.
'And Ellie?' Dawson wore a faint smile.
'She's just noticed,' Alice grinned.
'And she needs to keep noticing before we go to college.'
'Where are you going to college?' Dawson asked, staring at the good looking kid, thinking of him with his future all in front of him.
'He's going to Harvard pre med - we hope,' Joey stated and Josh scowled.
'I don't care where I go mom. I keep telling you and dad. I got the scholarship from NYU...'
'And you want Harvard kid. We can afford Harvard,' Pacey reminded him.
'You have four of us...'
'And we have college money for four of you.'
'Fine...if I get into Harvard with some financial, I really want to go there to study pre med,' Josh admitted looking at Dawson.
'Josh, you know dad and I think you should go where your heart wants to go. We're so proud of you and you have such a great brain and a great heart. When you get that acceptance, you go.'
'But...'
'Trust me kid, we're good,' Pacey winked at him, and then looked at Joey.
'Ok.'
'It's not your job to worry, ok?' Pacey reminded him?
'But...'
'We'll talk when we're home,' Joey stated and that was clearly the end of the discussion.
'Sure. Sorry,' he wrapped an arm around his mom and kissed her head.
'I would love to visit you. I'll be there. Can I get you to give your address to my assistant?'
'Sure,' Pacey nodded. 'We probably won't see you after the movie so thanks for this D.'
'Any time.'
'Seriously Dawson,' Jack said. 'It was really nice of you.'
'It was...' He gave a wry chuckle, 'I mean I was trying to be nice. Give everyone a chance to catch up but Joey and Pacey, you guys are together, Jack, you're with Doug, so you're all family, and Jen, you're there too. You're Aunty Jen and me...I'm just the guy that was once friends with you all and who's all alone and making movies of when we were all friends.'
'Dawson,' Joey's face softened.
'No, no,' he hushed her, 'it's fine. It really is. I let my anger do this because I was so full of stupid faith that in the end we'd end up together. That people drift apart and some people, they drift back together. But we're not going to be drifting back together are we?' he looked at her, unable to see anything but her and the way she shook her head.
'No,' she answered simply and honestly.
'I'll see you in Boston,' he nodded curtly, clearly upset and headed off.
'Wow,' Jack murmured with arched brows.
'Was he always so dramatic uncle Jack?' Alice asked and Jack seemed to consider it.
'When it came to your mom, maybe yes.'
'Dawson always lived for drama, only I think he may now be regretting it,' Jen looked after their friend.
'Well now I feel crappy,' Pacey muttered. 'I mean it's supposed to be his big night.'
'You should have told him how mom made you sleep on the couch for a month when she found out she was having twins,' Alice suggested.
'Except she missed him so much she kept joining him there,' Josh pointed out.
'You know it hasn't always been easy you two,' Joey reprimanded.
'Exactly. Your mom is not an easy lady.'
'What?' Joey glared.
'I'm with my brother on this one,' Doug piped up.
'Yep, it's true,' Jack shrugged,
'Sorry bestie,' Jen also shrugged.
'I agree,' Charlie, Jen's partner concurred.
'Well he's not easy either,' Joey pouted in irritation.
'I'm a slob, yeah, yeah...' Pacey grinned.
'You're not you know,' Joey answered, 'but you are annoyingly perfect. And you're never sure of yourself. You have always blamed yourself when things go wrong.'
'Well sometimes it's my fault.'
'Like when?' Jen asked with a roll of her eyes. 'I mean she's right Pace. You're one of my best friends but you are on it with blaming yourself.'
'Fine. When I lost my job when Josh was a baby.'
'Your fault how?' Doug asked.
'It was my job and I lost it.'
'The economy was crappy and you lost your job. Lots of people did,' Jack pointed out.
'Still it was my fault.'
'The only fault you had at that time was wallowing in despair for a week blaming yourself,' Joey tutted. 'Yes it was awful thinking we might lose our place or not be able to eat, but once Jack kicked your ass you got over it. You went to every restaurant in Boston and you got a better job, earning more.'
'Fine, ok, I admit it I blame myself. I'm sorry. God this is all my fault,' he sighed dramatically and dropped his head to the table, Alice reaching over and rubbing his back.
'Ok kids, let's get a wriggle on and get into this movie theatre,' Doug clapped his hands, then paused for a second, 'you know Alice, the actor that plays your dad has been making eyes at you.'
'That sounds kind of gross Uncle Doug,' she scowled.
'Though think of the kudos you'd get if you tweeted a photo of yourself with him,' her brother pointed out.
'Except of course that would violate your mom and dads no tweeting at the premiere rule,' Jen pointed out.
'You could tweet it uncle Jack,' Alice announced triumphantly. 'I mean he is gorgeous.'
'Hey what now?' Jack looked up from the chip structure he was building. 'What am I tweeting?'
'A mythical picture of your niece with her film dad. He's been staring,' Doug told them.
'And why am I tweeting it?'
'Because most of the kids at school follow you,' Josh rolled his eyes.
'They do?' Jack grinned proudly.
'Yes.'
'Well if you get this picture I'll tweet it. I'll have to hashtag it "family time" else it would be inappropriate to tweet a picture of a student at something like this.'
'Sure, sure, whatever,' Alice gave her dad a triumphant look.
'Gotta get the photo sweet cheeks and let's not forget that you're here as your actual dad's date,' he shot a smug look at Joey who just widened her eyes in a look behind you manner. Pacey heeded her advice and turned to see the young punk. 'Hey,' he looked over the kid Dawson had cast to play his role. He had a roguish charm Pacey supposed. Too good looking, especially with those dark eyes that kept flicking to his daughter.
'Oh, um, hi. I wanted to come and introduce myself. I'm Tom Greyson,' he said it as if Pacey hadn't heard the name before. He stuck out his hand and Pacey shook it.
'Well I can't really comment on how well I think you play me because we haven't seen the film yet.'
'So you are Dawson Leery's childhood friends? You know there's a rumour going round that you married Sami...or you know the real life equivalent,' Tom stated with a quizzical tilt to his head.
'I married Joey. Like I said I've not seen the move yet but that sounds like the right person,' he nodded across the table, 'Jo, hun, this is the kid Dawson cast as me. Tom that's Joey.'
'Wow,' he murmured staring at Joey. 'He cast you well.'
'While we're at it we have Jen, blond bombshell from New York,' Pacey gestured.
'Hi Tom,' Jen waved and winked.
'Jack, the high school gay guy.'
'Hi Tom,' Jack also waved and winked, Doug laughing at the young actors blush.
'Doug my cop brother...'
'I make the film?'
'You sure did, except you aren't gay...' Tom eyed Jack and Doug's hands threaded together.
'Except I am,' Doug grinned.
'Jen's partner Charlie,' Pacey gestured. 'That's Josh, mine and Joey's son and this is Alice our daughter. Who's fifteen.'
'Dad,' Alice hissed.
'You guys have kids?' Tom's gaze flickered between Pacey and Joey. 'I mean, in the film...'
'It's semi autobiographical,' Joey pointed out. 'Meaning, not entirely based on fact,' she added sweetly.
'I know, I'm sorry,' he blushed. 'So um...you're married with two kids. The others are gonna find that pretty interesting.'
'Four kids actually,' Pacey pointed out.
'Wow,' his eyes flicked to Joey again.
'We're all looking forward to your movie,' Joey said kindly.
'I imagine it will be weird knowing the characters are based on all of you.'
'Extremely,' Jen nodded.
'You like playing me?' Pacey narrowed his eyes.
'Better than Richie liked playing Colby. You're pretty funny, well the way it's written.'
'I'm glad he wrote me that way,' Pacey shrugged easily.
'You mean with the fight and everything and you stealing Sami? I mean Joey,' he flushed.
'Pacey didn't steal me,' Joey pointed out firmly. 'He fell in love. We fell in love and I wasn't with Dawson in anyway when that happened. I hadn't been for a long, long time.'
'I guess there's a few instances of semi in the autobiographical nature of the movie,' Tom shifted clearly uncomfortable.
'Come on man, sit down,' Pacey shifted a seat, generously allowing Tom to slip into a seat between him and his daughter. 'How old are you kid?'
'Nearly eighteen,' he reached for a bottle of water and poured a glass.
'You look older.'
'I'm the youngest. The others are all twenty, but look younger. They cast us to look authentically young. They didn't want it to be a case of a thirty year old playing high school kids.'
'Yeah, they could have just asked us if they wanted that,' Jack mused wryly and Doug laughed,
'Sure honey, we're not old,' he responded.
'Actually you're not,' Tom stated and Josh nodded,
'Most people at school who haven't met you before think you guys are my older siblings...'
'That's sweet but entirely untrue,' his mother ruffled his hair.
'Actually it's true. When I started high school and you brought me in my guitar everyone thought you were my good looking big brother, dad,' Alice informed him.
'And you don't wanna know what my friends think of you mom,' Josh blushed.
'Oh I think I do. Share please...' Joey teased.
'You play the guitar,' Tom had turned to Alice and Pacey stared at Joey with wide panicked eyes.
'You let him sit there,' she mouthed back, as oblivious to her parents Alice started talking to Tom about playing guitar since she was a kid.
'So buddy. You and your friends do drugs? Drink? Do all the crap we hear Hollywood is full of?' Pacey asked, abruptly interrupting.
'Uh...'
'Before you start sweet talking my little girl...'
'I don't do any of that crap,' Tom answered boldly and then flushed, 'well I drink a beer when I can get away with it but everyone knows how old I am. I wouldn't do drugs. I want to be a success and they mess you up.'
'Ok, back to your conversation,' Pacey conceded, especially as Joey had stood and walked round the table to drape her arms around him, and leaning her head over the top of his pressed a kiss to his forehead. 'Hmmm,' as always he found himself relaxing, the hum of conversation around the table fading from his ears.
'Let her have fun and talk to a boy,' she whispered. 'Especially one that had the guts to approach her at a table full of her family.'
'Ok,' he twisted in his chair to stare at his wife. 'We're going in a minute anyway right? To the film?'
'We are,' she smiled.
'God, you look beautiful,' he ran his gaze over her.
'Old compared to all these young kids.'
'Not old to me, just beautiful.'
'It was kind of fun reminiscing,' she admitted.
'Poor guy's face though,' Pacey pursed his lips trying to swallow his amusement.
'You're a little pleased you got the girl, huh?'
'I'm a lot pleased, even eighteen years after the event. I'll be just as thrilled in seventy years.'
'But you shouldn't gloat,' she warned.
'And I won't gloat at all when he comes to our home and sees all our gorgeous kids, and meets Ned, and gets to see how utterly wonderful you are, and that you're just as beautiful in a skirt and sweater as you are in this wonderful, wonderful evening gown.'
'You don't look so bad yourself,' she pressed a kiss to the crook of his neck, a place that always made him squirm with pleasure.
'Can't wait for our hotel room,' he groaned softly.
'Me either,' she nipped the lobe of his ear before standing up. 'Lets get going before Doug bursts a blood vessel from stressing over how late we might be.'
'The seats are assigned you know Dougy,' Jen teased.
'But it would be awkward if we walked in after the movie starts.'
'Yeah, I would be in big trouble if that happens,' Tom agreed. 'Uh, Alice, you uh, wanna walk in with me?'
'You mean on the red carpet?' Jack asked him for Alice, a little starry eyed.
'Uh yeah.'
'Hell no,' Pacey shook his head as Alice's face fell.
'It's just going to the movies,' Joey defended still wrapped around him.
'And being papped,' Pacey pointed out.
'I'll just say she's a friend,' Tom offered, staring at Alice with a look Pacey recognized because he wore it whenever in the vicinity of Alice's mother. 'I just...I feel like we have more to talk about.'
'Fine,' he huffed because he knew better than to forbid or yell. Josh was allowed to date at fifteen and despite his overprotective streak he knew Alice was smart and fully capable, and should be treated no differently to her brother. Alice's sunny smile was a good reward,
'Thank you daddy,' the extra d.y. clearly slipping out by mistake resulting in her cheeks stained with red, but then Tom was whispering something and she was smiling and they were once again ensconced in a private conversation.
'Time to hustle people,' Doug stated and they all stood, Josh walking beside his parents.
