A/N: I know... I should be working on my stories.... but I wanted to write this oneshot so bad!! Plus I have almost NO inspiration for the others, so......... Here it is, people. Another oneshot.
Sorry for any spelling mistakes, my keyboard is crap, so when I type some letters don't show up. I try to check it over.
DISCLAIMER: Characters and lyrics do not belong to me. The lyrics to Behind These Hazel Eyes belong to Kelly Clarkson (an awesome singer) and the characters belong to the wonderful Tamora Pierce. But I own... ummmmm..... the.... oh darn, I don't own anything! NO!! Wait!!! I own the basic storyline and idea of this story!!! OH YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*starts dancing* TWILIGHT CAME OUT ON DVD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWILIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I GOT TO SEE IT!!!!!!!!
You don't have to read this by the way, because I'm going to start talking about what I thought about it. I have no one else to rant on about it to!
Okay, I liked it. A lot. But I thought Kristen Stewart wasn't a very good choice for Bella. She blinks too much, like heaps, and moves her head round a lot when she talks- has anyone ever noticed that? Plus her voice wasn't exactly.... a very girl-ish voice, it just didn't sound right.
Rob P. was great as Edward. Doesn't mean I like Robert Pattinson, but he was good. But I thought they should have ditched the whole 'and so the lion fell in love with the lamb' bit. It was good in the book, but lame in the film.
And the whole Bella walking past Edward at school and they go wandering off into the forest? Dude, that was weird as. It was a lot better put in the book. (Although he did look REALLY hot when she walked past him)
Angela wasn't as cool as I imagined. Since when does she lug round a camera, wear glasses and like Eric Yorkie?
The rest of the Cullens were awesome. Especially Alice and Emmett- I LOVED Emmett's warm up before playing baseball! He was practically dancing!
And I liked the funny side to Twilight- "Yeah... Um... I had an adrenaline rush. It's very common. You can Google it." and the whole Bella-being-Italian and Carlisle saying to Rosalie "Good kitty", after she got out in baseball and Mike's "He looks at you like you're something to EAT!!!" And Charlie drawing a halo over his head.... LOLNESS!!!! and Edward reading minds in the restaurant- "Money. Sex. Money. Sex. Money... cat?"
I'm totally in LOVE wih the baseball scene and the song- it was RADICAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The song suited it SO well, I was like, WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AWESOMENESS TO THE MAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The special effects when Edward was running with Bella on his back were TERRIBLE! They should've taken a leaf out of Smallville's book. They had good running effects.
And heck, the Edward glittering in sun thing? In the book it said 'like the facets of a diamond'. It looked like there was something wrong with the TV! Like the pixels were having a spazz or something!! He should've glittered more.... like a REAL diamond.... *grumbles under breath*
Overall, I think parts of the movie were better, but the book is mostly better.
I want to see it AGAIN!!! and AGAIN!!! MUAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
EMMETT AND EDWARD CULLEN ARE AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
umm... anyway.
Behind These Hazel Eyes; A Tortall Oneshot:
One year. One perfect year of complete bliss.
But of course, something like that would never last, Keladry of Mindelan thought bitterly.
She sat on her bed, preparing to pull off her boot, her emotions in utter turmoil. But her face gave away nothing.
For one single year, her face had been expressive. She had laughed, she had cried, she had smiled, she had frowned... openly.
Before, she had always put on her 'Mask'- but Dom had seemed to bring out her more emotional side.
After, she hid her emotions as best as she could. She never cried, she never laughed, she never smiled, she never frowned. Not even in private.
Kel's friends had begun referring to her life in three different stages- Before Dom, During Dom and After Dom.
Naturally, Kel didn't know this.
She didn't often speak to her friends, anymore. So it was no wonder that all she thought about was training, fighting, wars and being a knight.
She never let herself think about that happy year.
No. This Kel was an emotionless robot, the Kel in that year had been an expressive, vivacious Kel.
But tonight was different.
Kel couldn't seem to pull her thoughts away from the Year, as she referred to it, if she ever referred to it.
It was odd, she mused. The time with Dom had been exactly a year. Midwinter to another Midwinter.
And odd again that Midwinter had been the very time that Cleon had first kissed her.
Perhaps, the lady knight thought, she was never meant to find love.
Or at least not at Midwinter.
Her thoughts strayed back to Dom- his smiles, his jokes, his embraces, his kisses...
Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
And in her mind, it seemed like only yesterday when Dom had first asked to court her.
"Kel?" A knock came on her door and Kel cursed with annoyance. She was currently in the bath; not a very good place to be when the voice at the door was obviously male.
"Coming!" she called, quickly getting out and wrapping a towel around herself. She hesitated, unsure as to whether to bother to dress or to just wear the towel.
"Who is it?" Kel asked.
"Dom." The door opened slightly and the blue eyed, black haired man outside jumped. "Sorry!" he exclaimed, looking horrified. "I thought you meant for me to come in..."
Kel actually blushed. How embarrassing. Her crush- Domitan of Masbolle- seeing her in a towel.
She swore violently in her head- surely the Yamani Trickster god, Sakuyo, was having fun today. "Sakuyo laughs," she muttered softly, before looking up to meet curious sapphire eyes.
"What?" Dom asked.
Kel blinked. "Nothing."
She tightened the towel around herself but didn't dare to sit down- she certainly wasn't wearing any underpants.
Dom didn't say anything.
She shifted from foot to foot, trying to find a polite way to ask why Dom was here, at her rooms, late in the evening, interrupting her bath.
"Uh, Dom?" she finally asked. It was getting quite disconcerting, him staring at her. "What do you- I mean, why are you here?"
"Oh!" Dom jumped and his face twisted into a nervous expression.
"What's wrong, Dom?" Kel asked, trying to be patient. She was starting to feel the cold, and wished that she could dry herself and get some clothes.
"Nothing's wrong... exactly... I just... I mean... Kel..." Dom stuttered.
Kel stared at him. She had never seen the smooth, charming sergeant stutter- and to her, of all people.
"I really like you, Kel," Dom blurted.
Kel's astonishment was for once clear on her face. Did he mean like as in... like like? As in, he liked her as a girl? Or just as a friend?
She decided not to assume anything. "Thanks, Dom."
"You don't understand," the sergeant was slowly going red from the neck up. "I like you... as in I like you... as in... oh, Mithros!"
In two strides Dom crossed the distance between them. He put a hand on her bare shoulder. Kel felt the skin there tingle and she looked up at his face.
"I mean that I like you, like this..."
He pressed his lips on hers. The shock of it all almost made Kel drop her towel onto the floor. Luckily, she didn't.
Kel had never felt such a sensation when she was kissing Cleon. She closed her eyes, responding.
Eventually, Dom pulled away. "Do you get it, now?" he smiled at her.
"I think so," Kel flushed slightly.
Dom stroked her cheek with his thumb. "Keladry, may I have the honour of courting you?"
Kel smiled with elation. She couldn't believe it... why would Dom like someone like her?
And then it struck her. Her face fell abruptly as the thought came. What if Dom was only doing this because someone put him up to it?
"Kel?" Dom watched her anxiously. He had noticed her quick change of expression. "What's wrong?"
She bit her lip. "It's nice of you Dom, but you don't have to do that just because I have no one," she said softly. "Or because anyone put you up to it. If it was a dare, just say that-"
"No!" Dom cut her off in mid-sentence. "Kel, of course it's not. No one put me up to this. I'm not doing it out of pity. I'm doing it because I want to."
"Really?" She asked, hope raging inside of her.
"Of course."
"Yes, then," Kel smiled up at Dom, euphoric.
He kissed her again, this time on the cheek. "I'd better go," he said reluctantly. "People might get the wrong idea, me being in a room alone with you when you're... wearing a towel."
"Oh!" Kel had completely forgotten. "Yes... See you tomorrow?"
Dom nodded, his smile wide. "See you tomorrow, Kel."
As he left, he brushed his lips against hers for the second time.
"Stop it," Kel said out-loud. "This is not doing anyone any good, sitting here moping."
But she couldn't. It was like her memories had been locked up in a vault, but now the lock had broken. The door was swinging, wide open, on its hinges.
The door could not be shut.
The next few days after that one had been heaven, Kel remembered. Dom's warm, strong embrace, his arms tightly around her. It had felt so right, so perfect.
The next few months, the same. All of their friends thought that Kel would be the one to finally get Dom to quit the King's Own and settle down.
No one thought that Dom would break up with Kel after a year.
They had all been wrong, Kel thought savagely, including her.
It was partly her fault that she was so broken up now- she had had so many hopes of a future with Dom. All shattered, now.
She could barely sleep at night, sometimes she felt like she was being suffocated at those rare times when she thought of Dom and her hopes.
But it was only her on-going emotional pain, never leaving.
It definitely didn't help that she had to see Dom every day, at the palace. Breakfast, lunch and supper- Kel saw him at them all, and sometimes out when she was training. She even sometimes saw him with his latest girlfriend, Irena.
He had tried to talk to her at first, but she couldn't help being aloof and cold towards him. She couldn't look him in the eye without some blissful memory of the past coming into her mind, and pain filling her.
Here I am, once again,
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
It hurt. But she kept her pain locked up, behind her once dreamy, hazel eyes.
Kel kept her pretence up, the pretence that she was fine. The pretence that it didn't matter to her, the pretence that she was untouchable.
Her pretence fooled most, apart from her close friends, namely Neal, Yuki, Raoul and Lalasa.
Kel, of course, thought that she had successfully fooled everyone.
But her main goal had been to fool Dom.
She would never let him see how broken up she was, how shattered by his rejection. No, she would never let Domitan of Masbolle see her emotions again. Ever.
Sometimes his friendliness almost made her give in. But all she had to think of was that one year when she had confided in him, told him how she felt, and she closed up, anger and hurt filling her. Never again.
I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on
The door refused to close.
Kel had told Dom everything. Her fears, her feelings, her wishes. He had smiled, they had discussed them, they had both been happy. She had let him in on the real Kel. The Kel that no one else got to see, not even Neal. Not even her family.
And Kel in turn had gotten to know Dom better. He had told her about his family, his home life, but he had never confided in Kel as she had confided in him.
Kel was never sure exactly what broke them up. There had been no feelings of foreboding, no expectance of breaking up- for her, at least, it had been sudden. And who knew what was going on in Dom's mind?
Neal, perhaps. But Kel never bothered to ask him, not wanting to show that she still cared.
No. The world would see a together, collected, calm Kel- not the miserable, broken up Kel that she truly was.
And perhaps one reason for this was fear. After Dom, Kel never wanted to confide in anyone again. She reigned in her emotions, never letting them be seen... not even by herself.
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Kel blinked back the hot tears threatening to overflow.
"Don't," she said fiercely to herself. "Don't let them out. You don't care. Stop it."
Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...
An overriding emotion that Kel was feeling, apart from misery, was anger.
Dom. He was well known as a ladies' man, but Kel had thought this untrue. At least, in her case.
How wrong she had been. A year, then Dom had had enough of her. Perhaps he had grown tired of her. Perhaps she had merely been an all-too happy toy in his hands. Perhaps... after a year, he had gotten what he wanted.
Kel wrapped her arms around herself, forcing her breathing to become calm, rather than panicked gasps.
The very thought of that night- about a month before they had broken up- sent her into hyperventilation.
The one night. The one thing that she had never done with Cleon... never done with anyone else, other than Dom.
And maybe the one thing that Dom had wanted all along.
She couldn't help disliking- no, hating- Dom for what he had done. It made her furious that he could do that. Ask to court her, kiss her, embrace her, laugh with her, share feelings with her, have sex with her... and then break her heart.
Did he do that to everyone? she wondered. Probably.
But either way, Domitan of Masbolle had left a permanant scar on Kel. A scar so big, so wide, so long, that it could never be healed or covered up. It would just stay, a reminder of what Kel referred to as her own stupidity. A scar that reminded her never to cry on the outside, anymore. A scar that told her to ignore her emotions. A scar that reminded Kel never to love someone as she had loved Dom again.
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Kel shook her head, tears now streaming silently down her face. How stupid she had been to ever think of that Year tonight. How stupid it was to still care.
She scolded herself mentally for letting her emotions run astray.
But she knew, in her heart, that she could not keep avoiding those emotions forever.
One day, she would have to confront them head on.
And it seemed that today was going to be that day.
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
She couldn't stop crying, now that she had started. It was six months worth of agony and misery exploding out of her in one evening.
Her sobs grew louder, she buried her face in her pillow.
And to her complete horror, a knock came on the door.
She pinched herself, as hard as she could, to force herself to stop sobbing.
It didn't work.
"Kel?" an all too familiar voice came from the other side.
The voice completely broke Kel. "Go-... away!" she screamed, between sobs.
"Kel?" the voice sounded quite alarmed at her shrieking and sobbing.
"I said, go away!" she yelled at the door, her sobbing stopped, her six months worth of fury taking over.
The door opened a crack and Dom's face peered in. The sapphire blue eyes took in Kel's dishevelled appearance- tearstained, red face, sticking up hair, and soaking shirt.
"Go. Away. Dom." Kel said, her voice deadly, but tears still flowing freely down her face.
"Kel, what's-"
And for the first time, after that year, Keladry of Mindelan had to let her emotions take hold of her. She couldn't reign them in, she couldn't hide them.
"Don't you DARE ask me what's wrong!" she shouted angrily. She stomped over to Dom and met his blue eyes. "Don't you DARE!"
Dom looked very taken aback. "Kel, I-"
"SHUT UP!" Kel screeched. "I am NOT done yet!"
She slapped him as hard as she could across the left cheek. "YOU ARE AN IDIOT. I SHOULD HAVE NEVER GIVEN MY HEART TO YOU BECAUSE I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT ALL YOU WOULD DO IS BREAK IT."
Dom was silent, staring at her, his left cheek throbbing from the pain of a very strong woman's slap.
"I HATE you somedays," Kel admitted, her tone still, to say the least, above the normal speaking volume. "But then I tell myself, why waste my hate on an idiot playboy who doesn't deserve anything? But it never works."
His right cheek received another hard slap. It stung.
"And I should have never trusted you," she continued loudly, her tirade not over yet. "I should NEVER have let you in, I should NEVER have shown you my emotions, I should NEVER have confided in you."
Dom's face was completely frozen in a stunned expression. He was so shocked that he couldn't move, he couldn't speak.
"And I should NEVER have gone that far with you," Kel's voice was now at normal speaking level, but her every word held hatred.
Dom managed to spit out a few words. "I- I'm-"
Kel glared at him. "Get out."
He seemed to regain his power of speech. "But, Kel, I-"
"Get the hell out!"
Dom stood stock still. "But-"
"FINE!" Kel screamed in his face. "If you won't get the hell out, I will!"
She stomped out the door, leaving Dom frozen to the spot, an expression of utter shock on his face.
A/N: I know, I know, incredibly OOC. But do you want more? Because I am sorely tempted to make this a two shot... even a three shot... even a four shot... oh dammit! I'm hopeless!
I must say, I really did enjoy writing Kel's yelling scenes...
Please review =)
