So it's 2:30, I'm sick, and I'm bored. Lily and I have spent many a high school lunch period laughing our butts off over random little 'What-if Fumiko met...' with almost all of the Akatsuki, so I thought... Why not?
All of these will be purely dialogue, because I've always wanted to try doing that. As usual, "Hi" = talking, and hi = thoughts. Thankz for reading this random little bit of not-canon-cause-I'm-bored! I might come back and rewrite this someday if people give a crap with actual character thoughts and descriptions but until then...
script.
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"Good job, Sasori."
"She was barely any trouble at all."
"Maybe not, but you didn't alert the jinchuriki to your presence in his own village. We will wait for the right time, and then act accordingly. Until then, you two, watch her and make sure she doesn't escape."
"What? Why us?"
"Yeah, why the hell do we have to watch her?"
I can't see. That's weird. Am I blind?
"Because the rest of us have other matters to attend to. We'll leave you to it."
"..."
"Aw, come on. This sucks."
"Shut up."
Who's talking? Why does the floor feel like rocks?
"Where am I?"
"..."
"Where am I?"
"..."
"Where am I?"
"You're at our fucking hideout. Stop talking."
"I can't see."
"That's because you're blindfolded, you idiot."
"Hidan, be quiet."
"What?"
"Why am I blindfolded?"
"Uh..."
"Hello? Are you still there?"
"Fuck, Kakuzu, why is she blindfolded?"
"..."
"Where's 'the hideout'?"
"You don't need to know that."
"Okay."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Hi, I'm Fumiko."
"Urgh! Just shut the hell up!"
"But what's your name?"
"Hidan. Now go pass out or something before I sacrifice you."
"Hidan..."
"Come on, you can't seriously think she isn't being annoying."
"Can you take my blindfold off, please?"
"..."
"Because I can't see."
"..."
"Am I lying on a rock?"
"If I take your blindfold off, will you be quiet?"
"Um... sure!"
"Fine. Here. Hold still."
"I am lying on a rock. Why are we in a cave?"
"Be quiet!"
"Oops."
- Ten minutes later-
"What-? You want to paint me?!"
"Yep!"
"Why?"
"'Cause your silver hair is cool. Plus, I like your cloak. Yours too, Kakuzu."
"They're the same cloak!"
"Oh, right."
"Stop smiling at me."
"Why?"
"Because- because- Jashin-sama! Just because!"
That's a really cool scythe. Like... like... with two blades and everything!
"So can I paint you?"
"No!"
"Aw."
"Hmph."
"..."
"..."
"... Can I make something to eat? Do you have a kitchen? 'Cause it kind of seems like this entire place is just one big cave. Which is kinda cool too, with all the dripping water and stalagmites... Now I wanna paint that too."
