Title: Aftermath
Author: Miranda
Email: miranda_koss@hotmail.com
Rating: PG
Category: Missing Scene/Epilogue
Season/Sequel: 5, straight after Meridian
Spoilers: Meridian and everything up to it.
Summary: The aftermath of Meridian
Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters and places from the
television show Stargate SG1 are the property of MGM, World Gekko
Corporation and Double Secret Productions. No money was made from this
little piece from my imagination :)
Author's notes: A depressing fic, but I had to write it if I was ever going
to be able to face Sg1 without Daniel. Let me know what you think.
~oOo~ Part One - "Carter's don't cry."
Samantha Carter sat in her darkened quarters not quite sure whether she should stay and curl up on her lumpy military issue mattress or leave and seek solace outside in the cool mountain air. Deciding that she really didn't have enough energy to move Sam kicked off her boots, not caring as they thumped something on their course across the room, and huddled herself under the covers on the bed.
The blankets were scratchy and Sam absently itched the skin on her arms. She smiled as she remembered Daniel's complaints of the military facilities when he first arrived. He had complained long and loudly about the itchy blankets, the hard pillows, lumpy mattresses and grey concrete walls. Sg1 hoped Daniel would get over it, but when it became evident the civilian would never bend to the military life, the Colonel had dumped a whole lot of bedding in the archaeologist's quarters. Daniel happily accepted the bedding but when the Colonel came around with a tin of bright yellow paint for the walls Daniel decided that military grey would suit him just fine.
The smile quickly dissolved into a crumpled frown and Sam felt tears prickle at her eyes. Daniel wouldn't be complaining about military quarters anymore, he probably wouldn't even sleep in the place he was now. Wherever he was now. Sam squeezed her eyes shut against the tears and tried to will them away. She wouldn't give in to the urge to cry, it wasn't right.
"Carter's don't cry." The words were sharp and clear in her mind. Her father had used those words to her on numerous occasions when she had faced trouble. He expected her to uphold the strong Carter face no matter what.
Of course, Selmak had mellowed the old General and Jacob's military way of looking at everything had laxed slightly during his time with the Tok'ra. He hadn't said the hurtful phrase this time round. Her father knew how much Daniel had meant to her, how much he still meant to her. Sam sniffed and smiled bitterly into the darkness, but not even Selmak had softened Jacob enough so that the phrase did not appear in his eyes.
The comfort her father had offered was stilted to say the least. He was still military enough to be uncomfortable when faced with his own grief let alone his daughter's. He had hugged her and tried to assure her Daniel was better off this way but she could see the expression on his face that he expected her to move past this. If not today then tomorrow. Sam had nodded and pushed away the tears, her father didn't want to see her like this and she was damned if she was going to let him down. She had already let one of her best friends down today and she was not going to disappoint her father as well.
The tears came again as the images of her friend seizing as she used the healing device came fresh into her mind. She hadn't meant to hurt him, she didn't want to cause any more damage but it was the only way they thought they could save him. The Colonel had believed that because she could heal Cronus she would be able to heal Daniel. Jack had never been more wrong, the device had only made things worse.
Sam let a quiet sob escape her lips as the pressure in her chest intensified. The grief seemed to be centred on her chest and even though Sam knew that although physically her heart was incapable of storing feelings, at that moment it felt as though it was holding every emotion possible inside her just waiting to burst out.
"I have to get out of here." The words were muttered into the darkness and Sam scrambled out of the tangled covers and let her socked feet touch the cold concrete floor.
She located her boots and pulled them on neglecting to care about tying the laces. Pushing the door open she blinked hurriedly as the lighted corridor stung her eyes. Moisture gathered at the corners of her eyes not entirely due to the harsh light and Sam brushed the tears away with the back of her hand.
She moved slowly down the corridor her shoulders slumped with grief and eyes clouded with pain. She barely noticed the sympathetic glances of passing people, which was probably just as well. She hated being pitied just as much as she hated to receive compliments. Reaching the sign out point, the guard on duty gave her a bright smile.
"Going home Major Carter?" the airmen busied himself with giving her the pen to sign her name.
"No. Just out for a walk." Sam's low tone alerted the guard to her sombre mood and he nodded.
"Ah I see. Would you like a touch or map ma'am? It's quite late."
Sam swiped her pass in the electronic scanner, shaking her head at the same time," No. I'll be fine."
"If your sure."
"I am." Sam snapped and turned sharply away letting the darkness swallow her up. She quickened her pace to a fast jog and veered off the bush walker's path to the thick shrubbery. She battled her way through until she found the small clearing that no one but herself knew about. Sighing in relief at her much needed sanctuary Sam slumped to the ground and pressed the palms of her hands into her eyes in a last minute attempt to stem the tears.
"Why not cry?" Sam could almost hear Daniel say the phrase.
Her father was gone, back to the Tok'ra base full of apologies and promises to come back soon. The Colonel was probably destroying half the base trying to bury his grief and Teal'c had snubbed them all as he tried to reach peace with himself over the latest turn of events. What's more, her best friend of five years was gone forever. She could never again visit his lab for a satisfying argument over archaeology and astrophysics or giggle at his absent mindedness on a mission or ring him up at any hour of the night to confide about her latest nightmares and be able to count on him to make the ghosts go away.
Sam let the memories of her friend overflow into her mind and this time did not stop the flood of tears that leaked onto her cheeks. She didn't even bother to brush them away as the emotions trapped within her chest escaped and swamped her in their intensity.
"Oh God Daniel. I'm going to miss you so much." Sam pulled her knees up close to her chest and rested her throbbing head on them. She wrapped her arms tightly around her body and made herself as small as possible like she used to do when she was a little girl angry at the world for taking her mother away. This time she was angry at more than just this world she was angry at Kelona for stealing her friend from her clutches.
"What am I going to do without you?" Sam winced as another bout of tears escaped and trailed down her cheeks. She missed him so much already and knew she quite possibly would never get the chance to speak with him again, to tell him how much she cared, how much she loved him.
She didn't love him as she did a lover but the sisterly affection she felt for him was somehow much more intimate and much more satisfying. She could always be assured of his comforting presence and forgiveness if ever they fought. It didn't matter that they were not blood related but Sam was closer to Daniel than she ever was with Mark.
"Oh Daniel." Sam wept for her friend and for all those he had left behind.
Eventually her eyes slid shut, weighed down with tears and she fell asleep. Her body naturally curled up on the ground pillowing her head on her arms. Around her the darkness enclosed her like a blanket away from the grief that twisted her sleeping face into a grimace.
~oOo~
Part Two - "Denial"
Jack stormed his way through the corridors of the SGC sending airmen scattering as he glared at anyone he passed. He reached his destination quickly and slammed the doors to the gym open. Luckily the late hour guaranteed it's emptiness and Jack switched on the lights and headed over to where he had left his gear dumped in the corner. The chaos of the last few days meant that he hadn't had time to collect it from his last visit and the cleaners didn't touch anyone's stuff unless they had permission. Pulling on his boxing gloves Jack stomped his way over to the mats and did a few stretches to warm up his body.
Despite the anger and grief that tore at his mind he still had enough sense to know that his body did not take kindly to bouts of hard exercise without a warm up. The last thing Sg1 needed was another member out of action. Jack stamped the thought down as images of his friend dying slowly on a gurney appeared in his mind.
"STOP IT!" he yelled the words into nothingness,
Turning to the punching bag strung up to the ceiling Jack gave it a satisfying thump. Then another. Then another.
THUMP
"Daniel you..."
THUMP
"Selfish."
THUMP
"Son of a."
THUMP
"Bitch."
THUMP
"Just had to leave us all behind."
THUMP
"The first chance you got."
THUMP
Jack stopped and eyed the bag angrily his chest heaving.
THUMP
"Just leave us."
THUMP
"To deal with the mess."
THUMP
His anger boiled over and into his veins. It gave him the strength to bash the crap out of the punching bag using it as an outlet for his insurmountable grief.
THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THU.
He winced as his hand went straight though the bag and wedged itself into the padding.
"Dammit."
Using his entire body he wrenched his hand free and pulled the glove off throwing it across the room. Jack slumped to the ground as his anger suddenly depleted. It no longer seemed worth it to be angry at something was out of his control.
"You just had to go one better didn't you Danny," Jack snapped into the empty room," Well that's fine with me."
Jack got up and left the gym heading back to his office mentally planning his next course of action. If Daniel felt that five years of friendship was not enough to keep him on the planet then well they would just move on. There was no use, in Jack's mind, to dwell on the past.
He entered his office and sat down hard into his chair his mind spinning as he tried to gather his thoughts and residual anger. A bright post it note was stuck onto his messy in tray and Jack picked it up frowning.
"One weeks downtime. No arguments. Inform your team. Hammond." Jack read the little note.
Jack let his head hit the back of his chair as his body slumped. He didn't want this downtime, he didn't need this downtime. It was time to get back into action and start kicking some Goa'uld butt or anyone else's butt for that matter. He didn't care, all he knew was that he didn't want to be stuck at home with nothing to entertain him but his thoughts.
Picking up his phone Jack dialled Hammond's office hoping the General would still be around.
"Hammond." The General answered immediately, his secretary already on her way home.
"General about this downtime." Jack didn't bother with greetings.
"Colonel I'm not going to argue with you on this one."
"With all due respect."
"Take the time and heal a little Jack."
"I don't need to heal."
"What about Major Carter and Teal'c?"
"Neither do they."
"Jack I think you may be wrong about that."
"I don't care. I'm their CO and they will do what I damn will tell them to."
"Have you even seen them since Doctor Jackson. left."
Jack paused," No."
"Then trust me when I say that even if you think you don't need the time, they do."
"Fine. One week. After that Sg1 goes back on the missions roster."
"It will take time to assign you a forth."
"We can operate as a three man team until we get one. I'm not picky."
Jack thought he heard the General chuckle at his last comment.
"Alright son. I'll see you in a week."
"Yes sir."
Jack disconnected the call and stood up. He grabbed his keys from his top drawer and left his office heading for Teal'c's quarters. He knocked sharply on the door and waited for the other man to bellow a greeting.
"Enter."
Jack walked in to find Teal'c surrounded by a mass of candles. Around him also were pictures of Sg1 taken from the time the SGC had been open. Jack averted his gaze from the photos, denying the memories entrance to his mind.
"Teal'c. Just came to inform you that Sg1 is on downtime for one week."
Teal'c raised an eyebrow but did not comment on O'Neill's brash way of announcing it.
"Indeed. Thank you."
Jack sensed the dismissal and left Teal'c to his mediation. Heading downwards towards another corridor of quarters Jack knocked on Carter's designated room. When she didn't answer he checked her lab but again came up empty. Guessing that she might have head off home Jack headed up top mentally reminding himself to ring her and let her know.
As he reached the top he scrawled his signature on the sign out sheet and swiped his pass barely noticing the guard on duty.
"Um Colonel?" the guard stopped the man.
"What is it?" Jack snapped not in the mood for another boot licking recruit wanting to get a better post inside the mountain.
"Your Major Carter's CO right?"
Great, Jack thought, another one with a crush on Carter. Be damned if she even knew she was the fantasy girl of over half the SGC male population and some offworld as well.
"Yes."
"Well she left the mountain for a walk two hours ago but never returned. I checked with the front gate and her car hasn't passed yet so she must still be outside somewhere." The guard said nervously.
"Oh. Thanks." Jack shook his head at his earlier thoughts. The airman was just doing his duty.
Jack headed off towards the bush paths keeping his eyes down to the track. What the hell was Carter thinking? Didn't she know that spending a night on a cold mountain was neither a good idea nor a healthy one? Jack frowned and stopped as he noticed that someone had left the path and veered off into some shrubbery leaving behind a trail of broken plants.
"Not very stealthy of you Carter. Thought I taught you better." Jack muttered knowing the comment was a harsh one.
He followed the trail and came to an empty clearing. As he pulled out of the bushes he noticed a small huddled figure on the ground. Kneeling down he checked the young woman's pulse relieved to find it beating steadily beneath the icy cold skin.
"Dammit Carter." Jack pulled his jacket from his shoulders and placed it over Sam's body. She was wearing only her black shirt and fatigue pants and was shivering in her sleep.
"Carter? C'mon wake up." Jack shook her shoulder trying to rouse her. She stirred and blearily opened her eyes.
"Colonel O'Neill?"
"The one and only." Jack said and helped the disorientated Major to sit up.
"What are you.?"
"Collecting you so you don't kill yourself out on this mountain." Jack said his tone impatient.
Sam glared at him," I wouldn't do that sir."
"No. That would be Daniel's job."
Sam's face went stricken at the crude comment and Jack suddenly wished he could take the comment back.
"Carter."
"Stop it sir."
Jack raised his eyebrows at her tone. Sam ignored him and tugged off his jacket and threw it at him.
"Thank you for your concern Colonel but if you don't mind I'm going to head home now." Sam said icily.
"Your in no state to drive Carter."
"Oh and you are." Sam snapped, her grief clouding her judgment.
"I'm going to let your insubordination pass given that it hasn't been an easy day." Jack snapped and threw his jacket back at her.
"Sir!"
"Put that on for crying out loud would ya? Your turning blue."
Sam hesitantly replaced the jacket on her shoulders and the Colonel grabbed her arm and led her back to the path.
"Sir stop." Sam pulled her arm free to glare at him again," Where are we going?"
"I'm taking you home Carter."
"I don't need a driver." Sam snapped.
"I don't care. I'm your CO and you'll do what I tell you too." Jack strode forward.
"Off duty sir." Sam spat the words at him but followed him nonetheless.
They reached his battered jeep and Sam got in as he unlocked the doors almost tripping over her undone laces. The drive to her home was icy with neither of them speaking. Jack pulled up to her house and stopped. Sam unlatched her seatbelt and opened the car door. She took off the jacket and laid it on her vacant seat.
"Thank you for the ride Colonel." Her voice was painfully polite.
"No problem Carter," Jack said tiredly,"Sg1 has a weeks downtime okay."
"Yes sir." Sam slammed the door shut and ran up to her front door. She fumbled for her keys in her pants pocket thanking her own hindsight for making her put them there in the first place and let herself in her home. By the time she shut the door the Colonel was gone.
~oOo~
Part Three - "Letting Go"
Teal'c felt a strong sense of calm settle over him as he entered his quarters and into his own private domain. He moved slowly but with a determined stride around the room as he pulled out the box containing his many candles and placed them strategically about the room. Once satisfied, he knelt down and pulled out another box and placed it in the centre of the room. He spread out his soft mat and turned off the lights to the room.
One by one he lit the candles creating a respectful and reverent atmosphere. He finally sat down on the soft mat and pulled the box towards him. For a long time he just sat there and closed his eyes calming his mind with the familiar meditative mood, his fingers resting lightly on the box.
When he felt that he was ready, Teal'c unlatched the catch on the box and pushed back the lid. Inside was a small silk covered bundle tied with string and a collection of photos. Teal'c reached inside the box and pulled away the silk bundle; he carefully untied the string and unrolled the bundle. Out of the silk rolled four candles, gently he picked each one up and stood them upright in front of him.
Using a lighted taper Teal'c lit the first candle and spoke quietly into the room.
"For O'Neill. Help him to see that anger and denial do not deal with grief, only to delay it."
Teal'c lit the next candle, "For Major Carter. May she find the comfort she desires to deal with her grief."
His hand paused slightly over the next candle, "For myself. Help me to remain strong for my friends but to not deny my own grief."
Finally he reached the remaining candle, with a hand that was no longer steady he lit the final candle then blew out the taper.
"For Daniel Jackson. Let him follow whatever path he desires but to be forever remembered by his friends."
Teal'c stopped and sadly regarded the candles in front of him. Slowly he leaned forward and snuffed out the candle that represented Daniel's life. His deep brown eyes watched as the smoke curled up and rose towards the roof before evaporating leaving behind a lingering smell of ash. Teal'c stared hard until the final traces of smoke had disappeared.
"Find happiness my friend."
Settling back Teal'c closed his eyes and resumed a quiet mediative position. For an hour he simply sat in the room his mind gloriously blank to the pain and grief that waited for him in the conscious world. When he refocused Teal'c found himself much more in control than when he had begun. His hands were steady as he reached for the pile of photos. He spread them out in front of him and let the memories wash over him as he gazed at the familiar faces.
. Daniel and Sam standing with Cassandra outside her new school.
. Colonel O'Neill showing Cassandra how to ride a bike
. Doctor Fraiser's birthday party, where Daniel, Sam and Jack had all partaken a little too heavily in the alcohol
. Sg1's first formal photo as a team
. Sam, Jack and the General in Washington for Jack and Sam to receive their air medals
. Sam smiling happily with the men of Sg1 around her after her promotion to Major
. Jack fishing quietly on the dock
. Daniel engrossed in his books surrounded by empty coffee cups and half eaten sandwiches
. Sam proudly displaying her new Harley with the Colonel drooling in the background at the shiny motorcycle
.Sg1 together as a team at their last gathering at Christmas smiling as if they didn't risk their lives on a daily basis, but were normal boring people
Teal'c let a smile grace his face as he looked at the last photo. The team had gathered at Colonel O'Neill's for Christmas after Sam's plans had fallen through with her brother due to her father being too busy to come to Earth. In an attempt to cheer up the unhappy Major the men of Sg1 had come round to Sam's lab on Christmas Eve complete with Santa hats and dragged her off base to enjoy Christmas with the people who cared most about her.
That night and the following day had been one of the most enjoyable gatherings of Sg1. That had spent the night barhopping with Jack, Sam and Daniel getting satisfyingly drunk and then spent the next day nursing hangovers and opening presents. The company had been good and the laughter came freely letting them all forget their own bad memories of Christmas past.
A deep sense of melancholy settled in Teal'c's stomach as he realised that Daniel would no longer be able to join them on their outings as a team anymore. His absence left a deep void in the team and Teal'c did not envy the soldier chosen to fill that place.
A knock on the door broke Teal'c from his reverie and O'Neill entered. Teal'c eyed the man as he spoke, his movements nervous and impatient.
"Teal'c. Just came to inform you that Sg1 is on downtime for one week."
Jack's eyes averted themselves from the photos and Teal'c felt his heart sink. It would be a long time before Sg1 recovered from this latest blow, if they ever truly did.
"Indeed. Thank you." Teal'c' dismissed the other man. Right now all he wanted to do was be left alone with the good memories of Daniel to prepare himself for the coming months without him.
~oOo~
Part Four - "The missing link"
The restaurant Jack had taken them too was a quiet low key joint that was nothing special and not too busy. Sam let out a sigh as she drew imaginary patterns on the table in front of her waiting for their food to arrive. An uncomfortable silence had passed over the remaining members of Sg1 and Sam didn't want to be the one to break it.
It had been just over a week since Daniel's departure. In that time Sam had tried to move on, see past the grief that clung to her but she was unable to look past it all. She felt that she wasn't been given the chance to deal with her emotions, a weeks downtime than an impromptu mission for the Asguard. It seemed to suck the energy from her, the Colonel had thought it would do the exact opposite. Give her the strength to move past it and keep her mind busy so she didn't feel her grief.
He was wrong, Sam thought bitterly, the mission had only made her feel worse as the gap that Daniel had left was ever more prominent on the mission. There was no rambling or banter or life in the team anymore. Sam was trying to summon up the courage to tell Teal'c and the Colonel that she didn't want to do it anymore. That she was sick and tired of living a dangerous life and commit herself to some nice safe research in a lab.
They would object, she knew that, but the mission for the Asguard proved they were no longer in working condition and Sam felt as though she never would be. Lifting her eyes to the other men Sam found the Colonel's slumped shoulders and knew that he was feeling the pressure as well, maybe more so than her. Teal'c was the only one of them who seemed to be able to accept the grief, he was not over it yet, but at least he seemed at peace with himself enough to deal with it. "I'm going to transfer off the team." Sam felt a load slide off her back as she spoke the words to the men at the table.
To her surprise the only comment came from Teal'c, "You will not do that Major Carter."
"Why can't I?" Sam snapped.
"The fate of the earth is too delicate a matter to leave to anyone but ourselves. We must not let personal matters interfere with out duty." Teal'c stated his voice low in the public setting.
"I'm sick of it all Teal'c. I never sleep anymore, I get beaten, captured and brainwashed on a regular basis and loose people that mean so much to me. I can't do it anymore." Sam trailed off and rubbed her hands over her face feeling tears prickle at her lids. A headache pulsed around her temples from her earlier encounter with the ribbon device and she felt tired, so very tired.
"Your just a little down at the moment Carter. It'll pass eventually." The Colonel contributed for the first time watching as Sam's head snapped up to meet his.
"I thought as far as you were concerned it had already passed Colonel." Sam spoke harshly not caring who she hurt. His earlier brash behaviour in the face of Daniel's death had not been easy to deal with. She needed her friends and he had just left her all on her own.
"I. it was easy to deal with it that way but now." Jack screwed his face up at the thought of revealing his feelings.
"But now?" Teal'c asked.
"But now I think I may have been wrong. I think we may need a little time to get through this. All of us." Jack watched as Sam gave him a small smile.
"Thank you." Sam whispered softly.
"You will not transfer off the team Major Carter it is only the grief talking that makes you wish to stop your duty." Teal'c went back to Sam's earlier statement.
Sam nodded and stirred the straw around the diet soda, "I guess so but I am going to need you guys to stop turning away all the time. It's hard enough to deal with the loss of one friend without having you two disappear on me too."
"I will be there Major Carter."
"Me too."
Their food arrived and the next few minutes were spent tasting their food and filling their stomachs. Jack eyed the other two members of his team pleased to see that at least they both seemed at peace now, despite looking a little worn around the edges. He knew Carter was having a hard time but he was fully prepared to deal with any fallout that may occur and he knew Teal'c was there as well. Despite having a missing link, they were still a team and they were going to move on. Even if it did take a little while to gain their equilibrium.
~oOo~
Part Five - "Goodbye"
Teal'c closed his eyes as he mediated on his mat in his familiar quarters. After a satisfying meal among his friends where they had discussed what should have been talked through a week ago, they had retreated to their respective homes. Teal'c was just settling into his routine when a bright light flashed beneath his eyelids. Alarmed Teal'c snapped his eyes open only to find that the light had died down to a gentle glow.
In the corner of the room stood a familiar figure that was smiling gently at the Jaffa's shocked expression.
"Daniel Jackson."
"Hey Teal'c."
"We believed you to have been gone for forever." Teal'c felt a great sense of joy overtake him as he gazed at his friend.
"Yeah, well Oma decided that it would be okay if I came back to say goodbye."
"Where do you intend to go Daniel Jackson?"
"I don't know. Oma is incredibly cryptic." Daniel chuckled.
"Will you come back?" Teal'c's voice was almost hopeful.
"I'm not sure of that either. As soon as I get the hang of this ascension thing then I may come and see how guys are doing."
"We miss your presence." Teal'c stated.
"I know and I miss you guys." Daniel stopped and his form seemed to dim slightly.
"You must go?" Teal'c asked knowing that his friend couldn't stay forever.
"Yeah. But I will always be watching over you guys. Watch Jack and Sam for me. They don't know how to deal with their emotions and I don't want them to destroy themselves over this." Daniel said.
"We have already begun to heal Daniel Jackson. You were a close companion and we will always miss you but we have begun to heal."
"Good. Keep them safe Teal'c. Keep yourself safe." With those words Daniel disappeared and Teal'c at first felt a sense of great sadness descend upon him.
Then, it was gone, Teal'c let a smile grace his lips. He would not let Daniel Jackson down and he would always feel safe knowing the other man was watching them. Teal'c settled back into Kel'no'reem, achieving a level of deep meditation that he had never felt before.
~oOo~
Colonel Jack O'Neill stretched out on his roof, a cold beer in his hand and his eyes glued to the stars. His mind was laden with thoughts of his best friend and where the young man was now. Jack's eyes widened slightly as one of the stars burning in the sky began to enlarge and glow brightly. He felt a cool wind touch his face and a smile graced Jack's lips.
"Daniel."
The figure appeared two metres away from the chair an amused look on his face, "How did you guess?"
"Oh you know, the lights, wind that sorta thing," Jack grinned, "None of my other friends can do that."
"Yeah." Daniel smiled.
"Is this goodbye then?"
"Not really. I'll still be around. Someone's gotta be watching to keep you guys out of trouble."
"More like get us into trouble." Jack replied settling his beer bottle on the ground.
Daniel rolled his eyes, "Look after Teal'c and Sam."
"I will. You going to say goodbye to them too? Cause I think it would really help."
"Yeah. I've seen Teal'c. Sam's next." Daniel said his form flickering slightly.
"Guess you have to go then."
"Yup. But I'll still be around Jack. You guys are my family and I'll never forget you." Daniel said his face tinging red as he said the heartfelt words.
"Yeah. Back at'cha." Jack smiled letting the emotion show on his face. He wasn't a man of words.
"See you round Jack."
"Yeah. See you round." Daniel's form dissipated and Jack was tempted to rush over to Carter's house if only to get a last glimpse of his friend. He shook his head, no it wouldn't be the last glimpse of Daniel, and he would see him again. Daniel never managed to stay away from them for too long. He'd be back, one day.
~oOo~
Sam balanced the glass of wine in one hand and the gaudy romance novel in the other before carefully placing them on the coffee table in front of her. She lowered herself down onto her couch and curled her feet up underneath her whilst tugging her warm patchwork quilt around her body. It felt good to be finally dealing with the weeks behind her, this time with her friends at her side. Picking up the glass of wine, Sam let the liquid slide down her throat and settle warmly in her stomach.
She traced the patches on the quilt that lay across her body, a gift from her late mother on the birthday before her death. The quilt held good memories and bad memories but had always been their to remind her that the dead never really left her if she remembered them in some form.
Picking up the book and setting down the glass of wine Sam shifted through the pages until she found where she had left off. The book had been a present from Daniel after the whole Orlin incident. He had politely suggested that she should try something other than astrophysics, in a way more tactful than the Colonel. Of course being the workaholic that she was she never actually got around to reading the novel until Daniel had left them. Her days filled with space that Daniel used to fill were gone and she had thought that she might as well read the book in the time she had.
"I was wondering if you would ever read that book?" Daniel's amused voice came from in front of her and Sam dropped the book in shock.
Glowing slightly, Daniel materialised in front of her standing in her lounge room.
"Daniel?" Sam choked out before leaping off the couch and flinging her arms around his now solid form, "Your real? I can touch you?"
"Yeah Sam. I'm real." Daniel held Sam close to him missing her familiar touch.
"I thought you had left us forever." Sam sobbed feeling the tears rise in her throat.
"I'd never leave you guys forever."
Sam sensed something in his voice and pulled back slightly, "But your still leaving aren't you?"
"I have to go Sam."
"No! You can stay please. you can stay."
"I have to go Sam. I have found something else to do with my life. A different goal." Daniel stroked the hair from her face trying to sooth her.
"But it's not the same without you here."
"Things change Sam. They always do."
"You really have to go don't you?" Sam saw the resignation in his face.
"Yeah Sam. I do."
"Will you come back?" Sam's voice was small and unsure.
"You bet. I'll make sure you guys are okay and drop in when I can. Might not be every day all right? I need to get settled and work some stuff out first." Daniel pulled her tighter against him.
"Okay. Just so long as you come back sometime." Sam's voice was muffled into his chest.
"Course I will." Daniel let her go and he sat her gently on the couch sitting on the coffee table in front of her.
"Daniel?"
"There's something else too."
"What?"
"You guys haven't sorted out my stuff yet have you?"
"No."
"Well I want you to go to my apartment. In a small safe in my office I keep my journals. I want you to have them." Daniel grasped hr hands tightly.
"But Daniel I can't their yours."
"I'm not going to use them anymore. Besides I wouldn't trust them to anyone else but you. Your closer than a sister to me Sam."
"Okay." Sam's voice was choked with tears.
"55, 23, 68."
"What?"
"The code for the safe."
"Oh."
"Stay safe Sam."
"You know I will. It's you I'm worried about."
"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine." Sam's hands slipped through his as his form turned transparent again.
"Daniel?"
"I've got to go Sam."
"Bye." Sam whispered.
"Not goodbye Sam. See you later." Daniel's voice evaporated as his form disappeared.
Sam felt her heart clench tightly at his words. She hadn't lost him forever and what's more, she still had two other men on earth who were closer to her than any family member ever could be. Curling herself back onto her couch Sam let a smile grace her face as she picked up her novel. She wouldn't lose him so long as she always remembered him.
~oOo~
"Are you ready to go Daniel?" Oma's gentle voice floated beside Daniel.
"Yeah. I think I am."
"Then follow me."
Daniel paused and watched as his friends slowly resumed their actions after his visits. They were still hurting but the pain was less raw and easier to deal with now.
"It's going to be okay guys. Trust me. It all works out in the end."
Then Daniel turned and followed Oma ready to embrace his new destiny but not forgetting the family he had left behind.
The End
~oOo~ Part One - "Carter's don't cry."
Samantha Carter sat in her darkened quarters not quite sure whether she should stay and curl up on her lumpy military issue mattress or leave and seek solace outside in the cool mountain air. Deciding that she really didn't have enough energy to move Sam kicked off her boots, not caring as they thumped something on their course across the room, and huddled herself under the covers on the bed.
The blankets were scratchy and Sam absently itched the skin on her arms. She smiled as she remembered Daniel's complaints of the military facilities when he first arrived. He had complained long and loudly about the itchy blankets, the hard pillows, lumpy mattresses and grey concrete walls. Sg1 hoped Daniel would get over it, but when it became evident the civilian would never bend to the military life, the Colonel had dumped a whole lot of bedding in the archaeologist's quarters. Daniel happily accepted the bedding but when the Colonel came around with a tin of bright yellow paint for the walls Daniel decided that military grey would suit him just fine.
The smile quickly dissolved into a crumpled frown and Sam felt tears prickle at her eyes. Daniel wouldn't be complaining about military quarters anymore, he probably wouldn't even sleep in the place he was now. Wherever he was now. Sam squeezed her eyes shut against the tears and tried to will them away. She wouldn't give in to the urge to cry, it wasn't right.
"Carter's don't cry." The words were sharp and clear in her mind. Her father had used those words to her on numerous occasions when she had faced trouble. He expected her to uphold the strong Carter face no matter what.
Of course, Selmak had mellowed the old General and Jacob's military way of looking at everything had laxed slightly during his time with the Tok'ra. He hadn't said the hurtful phrase this time round. Her father knew how much Daniel had meant to her, how much he still meant to her. Sam sniffed and smiled bitterly into the darkness, but not even Selmak had softened Jacob enough so that the phrase did not appear in his eyes.
The comfort her father had offered was stilted to say the least. He was still military enough to be uncomfortable when faced with his own grief let alone his daughter's. He had hugged her and tried to assure her Daniel was better off this way but she could see the expression on his face that he expected her to move past this. If not today then tomorrow. Sam had nodded and pushed away the tears, her father didn't want to see her like this and she was damned if she was going to let him down. She had already let one of her best friends down today and she was not going to disappoint her father as well.
The tears came again as the images of her friend seizing as she used the healing device came fresh into her mind. She hadn't meant to hurt him, she didn't want to cause any more damage but it was the only way they thought they could save him. The Colonel had believed that because she could heal Cronus she would be able to heal Daniel. Jack had never been more wrong, the device had only made things worse.
Sam let a quiet sob escape her lips as the pressure in her chest intensified. The grief seemed to be centred on her chest and even though Sam knew that although physically her heart was incapable of storing feelings, at that moment it felt as though it was holding every emotion possible inside her just waiting to burst out.
"I have to get out of here." The words were muttered into the darkness and Sam scrambled out of the tangled covers and let her socked feet touch the cold concrete floor.
She located her boots and pulled them on neglecting to care about tying the laces. Pushing the door open she blinked hurriedly as the lighted corridor stung her eyes. Moisture gathered at the corners of her eyes not entirely due to the harsh light and Sam brushed the tears away with the back of her hand.
She moved slowly down the corridor her shoulders slumped with grief and eyes clouded with pain. She barely noticed the sympathetic glances of passing people, which was probably just as well. She hated being pitied just as much as she hated to receive compliments. Reaching the sign out point, the guard on duty gave her a bright smile.
"Going home Major Carter?" the airmen busied himself with giving her the pen to sign her name.
"No. Just out for a walk." Sam's low tone alerted the guard to her sombre mood and he nodded.
"Ah I see. Would you like a touch or map ma'am? It's quite late."
Sam swiped her pass in the electronic scanner, shaking her head at the same time," No. I'll be fine."
"If your sure."
"I am." Sam snapped and turned sharply away letting the darkness swallow her up. She quickened her pace to a fast jog and veered off the bush walker's path to the thick shrubbery. She battled her way through until she found the small clearing that no one but herself knew about. Sighing in relief at her much needed sanctuary Sam slumped to the ground and pressed the palms of her hands into her eyes in a last minute attempt to stem the tears.
"Why not cry?" Sam could almost hear Daniel say the phrase.
Her father was gone, back to the Tok'ra base full of apologies and promises to come back soon. The Colonel was probably destroying half the base trying to bury his grief and Teal'c had snubbed them all as he tried to reach peace with himself over the latest turn of events. What's more, her best friend of five years was gone forever. She could never again visit his lab for a satisfying argument over archaeology and astrophysics or giggle at his absent mindedness on a mission or ring him up at any hour of the night to confide about her latest nightmares and be able to count on him to make the ghosts go away.
Sam let the memories of her friend overflow into her mind and this time did not stop the flood of tears that leaked onto her cheeks. She didn't even bother to brush them away as the emotions trapped within her chest escaped and swamped her in their intensity.
"Oh God Daniel. I'm going to miss you so much." Sam pulled her knees up close to her chest and rested her throbbing head on them. She wrapped her arms tightly around her body and made herself as small as possible like she used to do when she was a little girl angry at the world for taking her mother away. This time she was angry at more than just this world she was angry at Kelona for stealing her friend from her clutches.
"What am I going to do without you?" Sam winced as another bout of tears escaped and trailed down her cheeks. She missed him so much already and knew she quite possibly would never get the chance to speak with him again, to tell him how much she cared, how much she loved him.
She didn't love him as she did a lover but the sisterly affection she felt for him was somehow much more intimate and much more satisfying. She could always be assured of his comforting presence and forgiveness if ever they fought. It didn't matter that they were not blood related but Sam was closer to Daniel than she ever was with Mark.
"Oh Daniel." Sam wept for her friend and for all those he had left behind.
Eventually her eyes slid shut, weighed down with tears and she fell asleep. Her body naturally curled up on the ground pillowing her head on her arms. Around her the darkness enclosed her like a blanket away from the grief that twisted her sleeping face into a grimace.
~oOo~
Part Two - "Denial"
Jack stormed his way through the corridors of the SGC sending airmen scattering as he glared at anyone he passed. He reached his destination quickly and slammed the doors to the gym open. Luckily the late hour guaranteed it's emptiness and Jack switched on the lights and headed over to where he had left his gear dumped in the corner. The chaos of the last few days meant that he hadn't had time to collect it from his last visit and the cleaners didn't touch anyone's stuff unless they had permission. Pulling on his boxing gloves Jack stomped his way over to the mats and did a few stretches to warm up his body.
Despite the anger and grief that tore at his mind he still had enough sense to know that his body did not take kindly to bouts of hard exercise without a warm up. The last thing Sg1 needed was another member out of action. Jack stamped the thought down as images of his friend dying slowly on a gurney appeared in his mind.
"STOP IT!" he yelled the words into nothingness,
Turning to the punching bag strung up to the ceiling Jack gave it a satisfying thump. Then another. Then another.
THUMP
"Daniel you..."
THUMP
"Selfish."
THUMP
"Son of a."
THUMP
"Bitch."
THUMP
"Just had to leave us all behind."
THUMP
"The first chance you got."
THUMP
Jack stopped and eyed the bag angrily his chest heaving.
THUMP
"Just leave us."
THUMP
"To deal with the mess."
THUMP
His anger boiled over and into his veins. It gave him the strength to bash the crap out of the punching bag using it as an outlet for his insurmountable grief.
THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THU.
He winced as his hand went straight though the bag and wedged itself into the padding.
"Dammit."
Using his entire body he wrenched his hand free and pulled the glove off throwing it across the room. Jack slumped to the ground as his anger suddenly depleted. It no longer seemed worth it to be angry at something was out of his control.
"You just had to go one better didn't you Danny," Jack snapped into the empty room," Well that's fine with me."
Jack got up and left the gym heading back to his office mentally planning his next course of action. If Daniel felt that five years of friendship was not enough to keep him on the planet then well they would just move on. There was no use, in Jack's mind, to dwell on the past.
He entered his office and sat down hard into his chair his mind spinning as he tried to gather his thoughts and residual anger. A bright post it note was stuck onto his messy in tray and Jack picked it up frowning.
"One weeks downtime. No arguments. Inform your team. Hammond." Jack read the little note.
Jack let his head hit the back of his chair as his body slumped. He didn't want this downtime, he didn't need this downtime. It was time to get back into action and start kicking some Goa'uld butt or anyone else's butt for that matter. He didn't care, all he knew was that he didn't want to be stuck at home with nothing to entertain him but his thoughts.
Picking up his phone Jack dialled Hammond's office hoping the General would still be around.
"Hammond." The General answered immediately, his secretary already on her way home.
"General about this downtime." Jack didn't bother with greetings.
"Colonel I'm not going to argue with you on this one."
"With all due respect."
"Take the time and heal a little Jack."
"I don't need to heal."
"What about Major Carter and Teal'c?"
"Neither do they."
"Jack I think you may be wrong about that."
"I don't care. I'm their CO and they will do what I damn will tell them to."
"Have you even seen them since Doctor Jackson. left."
Jack paused," No."
"Then trust me when I say that even if you think you don't need the time, they do."
"Fine. One week. After that Sg1 goes back on the missions roster."
"It will take time to assign you a forth."
"We can operate as a three man team until we get one. I'm not picky."
Jack thought he heard the General chuckle at his last comment.
"Alright son. I'll see you in a week."
"Yes sir."
Jack disconnected the call and stood up. He grabbed his keys from his top drawer and left his office heading for Teal'c's quarters. He knocked sharply on the door and waited for the other man to bellow a greeting.
"Enter."
Jack walked in to find Teal'c surrounded by a mass of candles. Around him also were pictures of Sg1 taken from the time the SGC had been open. Jack averted his gaze from the photos, denying the memories entrance to his mind.
"Teal'c. Just came to inform you that Sg1 is on downtime for one week."
Teal'c raised an eyebrow but did not comment on O'Neill's brash way of announcing it.
"Indeed. Thank you."
Jack sensed the dismissal and left Teal'c to his mediation. Heading downwards towards another corridor of quarters Jack knocked on Carter's designated room. When she didn't answer he checked her lab but again came up empty. Guessing that she might have head off home Jack headed up top mentally reminding himself to ring her and let her know.
As he reached the top he scrawled his signature on the sign out sheet and swiped his pass barely noticing the guard on duty.
"Um Colonel?" the guard stopped the man.
"What is it?" Jack snapped not in the mood for another boot licking recruit wanting to get a better post inside the mountain.
"Your Major Carter's CO right?"
Great, Jack thought, another one with a crush on Carter. Be damned if she even knew she was the fantasy girl of over half the SGC male population and some offworld as well.
"Yes."
"Well she left the mountain for a walk two hours ago but never returned. I checked with the front gate and her car hasn't passed yet so she must still be outside somewhere." The guard said nervously.
"Oh. Thanks." Jack shook his head at his earlier thoughts. The airman was just doing his duty.
Jack headed off towards the bush paths keeping his eyes down to the track. What the hell was Carter thinking? Didn't she know that spending a night on a cold mountain was neither a good idea nor a healthy one? Jack frowned and stopped as he noticed that someone had left the path and veered off into some shrubbery leaving behind a trail of broken plants.
"Not very stealthy of you Carter. Thought I taught you better." Jack muttered knowing the comment was a harsh one.
He followed the trail and came to an empty clearing. As he pulled out of the bushes he noticed a small huddled figure on the ground. Kneeling down he checked the young woman's pulse relieved to find it beating steadily beneath the icy cold skin.
"Dammit Carter." Jack pulled his jacket from his shoulders and placed it over Sam's body. She was wearing only her black shirt and fatigue pants and was shivering in her sleep.
"Carter? C'mon wake up." Jack shook her shoulder trying to rouse her. She stirred and blearily opened her eyes.
"Colonel O'Neill?"
"The one and only." Jack said and helped the disorientated Major to sit up.
"What are you.?"
"Collecting you so you don't kill yourself out on this mountain." Jack said his tone impatient.
Sam glared at him," I wouldn't do that sir."
"No. That would be Daniel's job."
Sam's face went stricken at the crude comment and Jack suddenly wished he could take the comment back.
"Carter."
"Stop it sir."
Jack raised his eyebrows at her tone. Sam ignored him and tugged off his jacket and threw it at him.
"Thank you for your concern Colonel but if you don't mind I'm going to head home now." Sam said icily.
"Your in no state to drive Carter."
"Oh and you are." Sam snapped, her grief clouding her judgment.
"I'm going to let your insubordination pass given that it hasn't been an easy day." Jack snapped and threw his jacket back at her.
"Sir!"
"Put that on for crying out loud would ya? Your turning blue."
Sam hesitantly replaced the jacket on her shoulders and the Colonel grabbed her arm and led her back to the path.
"Sir stop." Sam pulled her arm free to glare at him again," Where are we going?"
"I'm taking you home Carter."
"I don't need a driver." Sam snapped.
"I don't care. I'm your CO and you'll do what I tell you too." Jack strode forward.
"Off duty sir." Sam spat the words at him but followed him nonetheless.
They reached his battered jeep and Sam got in as he unlocked the doors almost tripping over her undone laces. The drive to her home was icy with neither of them speaking. Jack pulled up to her house and stopped. Sam unlatched her seatbelt and opened the car door. She took off the jacket and laid it on her vacant seat.
"Thank you for the ride Colonel." Her voice was painfully polite.
"No problem Carter," Jack said tiredly,"Sg1 has a weeks downtime okay."
"Yes sir." Sam slammed the door shut and ran up to her front door. She fumbled for her keys in her pants pocket thanking her own hindsight for making her put them there in the first place and let herself in her home. By the time she shut the door the Colonel was gone.
~oOo~
Part Three - "Letting Go"
Teal'c felt a strong sense of calm settle over him as he entered his quarters and into his own private domain. He moved slowly but with a determined stride around the room as he pulled out the box containing his many candles and placed them strategically about the room. Once satisfied, he knelt down and pulled out another box and placed it in the centre of the room. He spread out his soft mat and turned off the lights to the room.
One by one he lit the candles creating a respectful and reverent atmosphere. He finally sat down on the soft mat and pulled the box towards him. For a long time he just sat there and closed his eyes calming his mind with the familiar meditative mood, his fingers resting lightly on the box.
When he felt that he was ready, Teal'c unlatched the catch on the box and pushed back the lid. Inside was a small silk covered bundle tied with string and a collection of photos. Teal'c reached inside the box and pulled away the silk bundle; he carefully untied the string and unrolled the bundle. Out of the silk rolled four candles, gently he picked each one up and stood them upright in front of him.
Using a lighted taper Teal'c lit the first candle and spoke quietly into the room.
"For O'Neill. Help him to see that anger and denial do not deal with grief, only to delay it."
Teal'c lit the next candle, "For Major Carter. May she find the comfort she desires to deal with her grief."
His hand paused slightly over the next candle, "For myself. Help me to remain strong for my friends but to not deny my own grief."
Finally he reached the remaining candle, with a hand that was no longer steady he lit the final candle then blew out the taper.
"For Daniel Jackson. Let him follow whatever path he desires but to be forever remembered by his friends."
Teal'c stopped and sadly regarded the candles in front of him. Slowly he leaned forward and snuffed out the candle that represented Daniel's life. His deep brown eyes watched as the smoke curled up and rose towards the roof before evaporating leaving behind a lingering smell of ash. Teal'c stared hard until the final traces of smoke had disappeared.
"Find happiness my friend."
Settling back Teal'c closed his eyes and resumed a quiet mediative position. For an hour he simply sat in the room his mind gloriously blank to the pain and grief that waited for him in the conscious world. When he refocused Teal'c found himself much more in control than when he had begun. His hands were steady as he reached for the pile of photos. He spread them out in front of him and let the memories wash over him as he gazed at the familiar faces.
. Daniel and Sam standing with Cassandra outside her new school.
. Colonel O'Neill showing Cassandra how to ride a bike
. Doctor Fraiser's birthday party, where Daniel, Sam and Jack had all partaken a little too heavily in the alcohol
. Sg1's first formal photo as a team
. Sam, Jack and the General in Washington for Jack and Sam to receive their air medals
. Sam smiling happily with the men of Sg1 around her after her promotion to Major
. Jack fishing quietly on the dock
. Daniel engrossed in his books surrounded by empty coffee cups and half eaten sandwiches
. Sam proudly displaying her new Harley with the Colonel drooling in the background at the shiny motorcycle
.Sg1 together as a team at their last gathering at Christmas smiling as if they didn't risk their lives on a daily basis, but were normal boring people
Teal'c let a smile grace his face as he looked at the last photo. The team had gathered at Colonel O'Neill's for Christmas after Sam's plans had fallen through with her brother due to her father being too busy to come to Earth. In an attempt to cheer up the unhappy Major the men of Sg1 had come round to Sam's lab on Christmas Eve complete with Santa hats and dragged her off base to enjoy Christmas with the people who cared most about her.
That night and the following day had been one of the most enjoyable gatherings of Sg1. That had spent the night barhopping with Jack, Sam and Daniel getting satisfyingly drunk and then spent the next day nursing hangovers and opening presents. The company had been good and the laughter came freely letting them all forget their own bad memories of Christmas past.
A deep sense of melancholy settled in Teal'c's stomach as he realised that Daniel would no longer be able to join them on their outings as a team anymore. His absence left a deep void in the team and Teal'c did not envy the soldier chosen to fill that place.
A knock on the door broke Teal'c from his reverie and O'Neill entered. Teal'c eyed the man as he spoke, his movements nervous and impatient.
"Teal'c. Just came to inform you that Sg1 is on downtime for one week."
Jack's eyes averted themselves from the photos and Teal'c felt his heart sink. It would be a long time before Sg1 recovered from this latest blow, if they ever truly did.
"Indeed. Thank you." Teal'c' dismissed the other man. Right now all he wanted to do was be left alone with the good memories of Daniel to prepare himself for the coming months without him.
~oOo~
Part Four - "The missing link"
The restaurant Jack had taken them too was a quiet low key joint that was nothing special and not too busy. Sam let out a sigh as she drew imaginary patterns on the table in front of her waiting for their food to arrive. An uncomfortable silence had passed over the remaining members of Sg1 and Sam didn't want to be the one to break it.
It had been just over a week since Daniel's departure. In that time Sam had tried to move on, see past the grief that clung to her but she was unable to look past it all. She felt that she wasn't been given the chance to deal with her emotions, a weeks downtime than an impromptu mission for the Asguard. It seemed to suck the energy from her, the Colonel had thought it would do the exact opposite. Give her the strength to move past it and keep her mind busy so she didn't feel her grief.
He was wrong, Sam thought bitterly, the mission had only made her feel worse as the gap that Daniel had left was ever more prominent on the mission. There was no rambling or banter or life in the team anymore. Sam was trying to summon up the courage to tell Teal'c and the Colonel that she didn't want to do it anymore. That she was sick and tired of living a dangerous life and commit herself to some nice safe research in a lab.
They would object, she knew that, but the mission for the Asguard proved they were no longer in working condition and Sam felt as though she never would be. Lifting her eyes to the other men Sam found the Colonel's slumped shoulders and knew that he was feeling the pressure as well, maybe more so than her. Teal'c was the only one of them who seemed to be able to accept the grief, he was not over it yet, but at least he seemed at peace with himself enough to deal with it. "I'm going to transfer off the team." Sam felt a load slide off her back as she spoke the words to the men at the table.
To her surprise the only comment came from Teal'c, "You will not do that Major Carter."
"Why can't I?" Sam snapped.
"The fate of the earth is too delicate a matter to leave to anyone but ourselves. We must not let personal matters interfere with out duty." Teal'c stated his voice low in the public setting.
"I'm sick of it all Teal'c. I never sleep anymore, I get beaten, captured and brainwashed on a regular basis and loose people that mean so much to me. I can't do it anymore." Sam trailed off and rubbed her hands over her face feeling tears prickle at her lids. A headache pulsed around her temples from her earlier encounter with the ribbon device and she felt tired, so very tired.
"Your just a little down at the moment Carter. It'll pass eventually." The Colonel contributed for the first time watching as Sam's head snapped up to meet his.
"I thought as far as you were concerned it had already passed Colonel." Sam spoke harshly not caring who she hurt. His earlier brash behaviour in the face of Daniel's death had not been easy to deal with. She needed her friends and he had just left her all on her own.
"I. it was easy to deal with it that way but now." Jack screwed his face up at the thought of revealing his feelings.
"But now?" Teal'c asked.
"But now I think I may have been wrong. I think we may need a little time to get through this. All of us." Jack watched as Sam gave him a small smile.
"Thank you." Sam whispered softly.
"You will not transfer off the team Major Carter it is only the grief talking that makes you wish to stop your duty." Teal'c went back to Sam's earlier statement.
Sam nodded and stirred the straw around the diet soda, "I guess so but I am going to need you guys to stop turning away all the time. It's hard enough to deal with the loss of one friend without having you two disappear on me too."
"I will be there Major Carter."
"Me too."
Their food arrived and the next few minutes were spent tasting their food and filling their stomachs. Jack eyed the other two members of his team pleased to see that at least they both seemed at peace now, despite looking a little worn around the edges. He knew Carter was having a hard time but he was fully prepared to deal with any fallout that may occur and he knew Teal'c was there as well. Despite having a missing link, they were still a team and they were going to move on. Even if it did take a little while to gain their equilibrium.
~oOo~
Part Five - "Goodbye"
Teal'c closed his eyes as he mediated on his mat in his familiar quarters. After a satisfying meal among his friends where they had discussed what should have been talked through a week ago, they had retreated to their respective homes. Teal'c was just settling into his routine when a bright light flashed beneath his eyelids. Alarmed Teal'c snapped his eyes open only to find that the light had died down to a gentle glow.
In the corner of the room stood a familiar figure that was smiling gently at the Jaffa's shocked expression.
"Daniel Jackson."
"Hey Teal'c."
"We believed you to have been gone for forever." Teal'c felt a great sense of joy overtake him as he gazed at his friend.
"Yeah, well Oma decided that it would be okay if I came back to say goodbye."
"Where do you intend to go Daniel Jackson?"
"I don't know. Oma is incredibly cryptic." Daniel chuckled.
"Will you come back?" Teal'c's voice was almost hopeful.
"I'm not sure of that either. As soon as I get the hang of this ascension thing then I may come and see how guys are doing."
"We miss your presence." Teal'c stated.
"I know and I miss you guys." Daniel stopped and his form seemed to dim slightly.
"You must go?" Teal'c asked knowing that his friend couldn't stay forever.
"Yeah. But I will always be watching over you guys. Watch Jack and Sam for me. They don't know how to deal with their emotions and I don't want them to destroy themselves over this." Daniel said.
"We have already begun to heal Daniel Jackson. You were a close companion and we will always miss you but we have begun to heal."
"Good. Keep them safe Teal'c. Keep yourself safe." With those words Daniel disappeared and Teal'c at first felt a sense of great sadness descend upon him.
Then, it was gone, Teal'c let a smile grace his lips. He would not let Daniel Jackson down and he would always feel safe knowing the other man was watching them. Teal'c settled back into Kel'no'reem, achieving a level of deep meditation that he had never felt before.
~oOo~
Colonel Jack O'Neill stretched out on his roof, a cold beer in his hand and his eyes glued to the stars. His mind was laden with thoughts of his best friend and where the young man was now. Jack's eyes widened slightly as one of the stars burning in the sky began to enlarge and glow brightly. He felt a cool wind touch his face and a smile graced Jack's lips.
"Daniel."
The figure appeared two metres away from the chair an amused look on his face, "How did you guess?"
"Oh you know, the lights, wind that sorta thing," Jack grinned, "None of my other friends can do that."
"Yeah." Daniel smiled.
"Is this goodbye then?"
"Not really. I'll still be around. Someone's gotta be watching to keep you guys out of trouble."
"More like get us into trouble." Jack replied settling his beer bottle on the ground.
Daniel rolled his eyes, "Look after Teal'c and Sam."
"I will. You going to say goodbye to them too? Cause I think it would really help."
"Yeah. I've seen Teal'c. Sam's next." Daniel said his form flickering slightly.
"Guess you have to go then."
"Yup. But I'll still be around Jack. You guys are my family and I'll never forget you." Daniel said his face tinging red as he said the heartfelt words.
"Yeah. Back at'cha." Jack smiled letting the emotion show on his face. He wasn't a man of words.
"See you round Jack."
"Yeah. See you round." Daniel's form dissipated and Jack was tempted to rush over to Carter's house if only to get a last glimpse of his friend. He shook his head, no it wouldn't be the last glimpse of Daniel, and he would see him again. Daniel never managed to stay away from them for too long. He'd be back, one day.
~oOo~
Sam balanced the glass of wine in one hand and the gaudy romance novel in the other before carefully placing them on the coffee table in front of her. She lowered herself down onto her couch and curled her feet up underneath her whilst tugging her warm patchwork quilt around her body. It felt good to be finally dealing with the weeks behind her, this time with her friends at her side. Picking up the glass of wine, Sam let the liquid slide down her throat and settle warmly in her stomach.
She traced the patches on the quilt that lay across her body, a gift from her late mother on the birthday before her death. The quilt held good memories and bad memories but had always been their to remind her that the dead never really left her if she remembered them in some form.
Picking up the book and setting down the glass of wine Sam shifted through the pages until she found where she had left off. The book had been a present from Daniel after the whole Orlin incident. He had politely suggested that she should try something other than astrophysics, in a way more tactful than the Colonel. Of course being the workaholic that she was she never actually got around to reading the novel until Daniel had left them. Her days filled with space that Daniel used to fill were gone and she had thought that she might as well read the book in the time she had.
"I was wondering if you would ever read that book?" Daniel's amused voice came from in front of her and Sam dropped the book in shock.
Glowing slightly, Daniel materialised in front of her standing in her lounge room.
"Daniel?" Sam choked out before leaping off the couch and flinging her arms around his now solid form, "Your real? I can touch you?"
"Yeah Sam. I'm real." Daniel held Sam close to him missing her familiar touch.
"I thought you had left us forever." Sam sobbed feeling the tears rise in her throat.
"I'd never leave you guys forever."
Sam sensed something in his voice and pulled back slightly, "But your still leaving aren't you?"
"I have to go Sam."
"No! You can stay please. you can stay."
"I have to go Sam. I have found something else to do with my life. A different goal." Daniel stroked the hair from her face trying to sooth her.
"But it's not the same without you here."
"Things change Sam. They always do."
"You really have to go don't you?" Sam saw the resignation in his face.
"Yeah Sam. I do."
"Will you come back?" Sam's voice was small and unsure.
"You bet. I'll make sure you guys are okay and drop in when I can. Might not be every day all right? I need to get settled and work some stuff out first." Daniel pulled her tighter against him.
"Okay. Just so long as you come back sometime." Sam's voice was muffled into his chest.
"Course I will." Daniel let her go and he sat her gently on the couch sitting on the coffee table in front of her.
"Daniel?"
"There's something else too."
"What?"
"You guys haven't sorted out my stuff yet have you?"
"No."
"Well I want you to go to my apartment. In a small safe in my office I keep my journals. I want you to have them." Daniel grasped hr hands tightly.
"But Daniel I can't their yours."
"I'm not going to use them anymore. Besides I wouldn't trust them to anyone else but you. Your closer than a sister to me Sam."
"Okay." Sam's voice was choked with tears.
"55, 23, 68."
"What?"
"The code for the safe."
"Oh."
"Stay safe Sam."
"You know I will. It's you I'm worried about."
"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine." Sam's hands slipped through his as his form turned transparent again.
"Daniel?"
"I've got to go Sam."
"Bye." Sam whispered.
"Not goodbye Sam. See you later." Daniel's voice evaporated as his form disappeared.
Sam felt her heart clench tightly at his words. She hadn't lost him forever and what's more, she still had two other men on earth who were closer to her than any family member ever could be. Curling herself back onto her couch Sam let a smile grace her face as she picked up her novel. She wouldn't lose him so long as she always remembered him.
~oOo~
"Are you ready to go Daniel?" Oma's gentle voice floated beside Daniel.
"Yeah. I think I am."
"Then follow me."
Daniel paused and watched as his friends slowly resumed their actions after his visits. They were still hurting but the pain was less raw and easier to deal with now.
"It's going to be okay guys. Trust me. It all works out in the end."
Then Daniel turned and followed Oma ready to embrace his new destiny but not forgetting the family he had left behind.
The End
