Hey, I'm here with a new story.
Before I start, let me set some ground rules:
1.) This is a Parody/Humor type of story (if it wasn't that obvious) which revolves around three boys with the names of Marco, Ferguson, and Alfonzo. The story is have no actual PLOT to it. It's more of a filler kind of story.
2.) Characters will be extremely OOC in this story. (I.e. Marco swearing, Alfonzo not being a nerd, etc.)
3.1) The girls in SVTFOE will rarely show up in the story. Again, this is a story based around the boys, not the girls. So don't expect romance to come up in here.
3.2) If the girls do show up. It will be purely because they are needed to trigger the event of the chapter.
4.) These chapters are not in any way related to each other. That means that one event that happened in per se 'Chapter 4' will not be mentioned in the upcoming chapters. (I.e.: Marco dies in one chapter, but is somehow magically revived in the next.) All of the chapters presented here will have their own little story but is not connected with each other.
5.) If this is not your type of story, then it is up to you whether you leave right now or give the fic a chance.
I don't have much to say apart from I hope you enjoy the story.
Disclaimer: Come on, Nefcy! Just give me the rights and we're done here! *Gets ass kicked by security*. Ouch! I don't own Star Vs. The Forces of Evil.
Story is mine.
(P.S: The ideas presented in this story does not convey the Author's beliefs and are simply for entertainment. Please don't be a killjoy and please don't take the story too seriously. k?)
Story Title: The Adventures Of Marco, Ferguson, and Alfonzo
Genre: Parody/Humor
Rating: T
Summary: There are three rules on how to live a normal life: 1.) Be Normal. 2.) Get a average-salary job. 3.) Don't do any crimes. Simple. But these three decided to break them in hopes to have fun and enjoy life. Watch as the 'safe kid', the 'fat bastard', and 'nerd that fades into the background' get tangled into situations that somehow makes them think the world hates them. Or you know, watch them just mess around with stuff.
The Arts Of Voyeurism
Ahh, women. Hates being spied on by men yet we never complain when they do the same to us. Of course, life decides that this is completely fair. Not that the men cared, but whatever.
Still, even in a place like Echo Creek, it still has its fair share of perverts and voyeurs. One of which are three boys that are currently reading a rather...interesting choice of literature.
"Woah! Look at the size of those things!" A boy that shall be named as 'Alfonzo'; pointed at a certain picture in the magazine. "It's freaking huge!"
The one to his left; which we name 'Ferguson', doesn't look quite as impressed with the woman in the picture. "Eh. I've seen better. Those aren't even as nice-looking as the last one."
"And besides," The one to his right; which will be named 'Marco', added to the conversation. "It's plastic surgery anyways. And even if it wasn't, I'm sure those are heavily edited."
Marco Diaz, Ferguson O'Durgson, and Alfonzo DoLittle. Full-time idiots and part-time perverts. Many would call them moronic and strange, while others would simply call the cops on them. These three fifteen year-old teenage boys have finally hit puberty and is now taking interest of the female portion of the globe. Or rather, the anatomy of the female portion of the globe. This would've been okay to most people since it was a normal thing that all teenagers come across. Whether you're male or female.
But believe it or not, these guys weren't normal...
Instead of trying to control their hormones for like regular teenage boys, they decided to proudly show it off. How?
By being Voyeurs...
What is a Voyeur you might ask? Well, think of all the people that like to spy on other people naked. That's basically it.
And these guys we're terrible at this job. The amount of times they snuck into the girls shower rooms in the past are nothing laugh at, but what you can laugh at is the fact that they were caught every single time. If it weren't for the fact that the three were good with hiding from danger, they would've been served on a silver platter. They actually have built up a reputation among the women in Echo Creek. Although, all three boys doubt that they were famous because of one question...
'Would it still be considered a reputation if it was tattered and ripped to shreds?'
No. It would not.
They would've stopped completely if it weren't for the excitement, that feeling when you're almost going to get caught only to realize that you're not. Sure, there's a chance that they would get into trouble again, and those the percentage of that happening is around ninety-five to a hundred. And like the idiotic perverts that they are, decided to continue on raiding the female showers and looking through their house mirrors. Although, they do stop doing this from time to time.
Hey, they might be perverts, but at least they still have morals...
Or more specifically, what's left of it...
"I'm bored of looking at pictures." Marco then lied upside on the bed they currently sitting on. "Let's go outside, spy on some chicks, maybe buy a couple more of those magazines. I don't care. As long as I get out of the house."
"Yeah, I'm getting sick of looking at women in pajamas." Alfonzo then snatched the magazine away from Alfonzo and read the title. "'Beautiful Women In Pajamas and appropriate clothing'...Really? This is the best you got? We sneak in showers for Nefcy's sake!"
"It was either that or 'Women with pretty fingernails', and I'm sure as hell ain't buying that piece of crap." Marco countered before standing up. "And it's not like your 'Sexy Girls in Bacon Costumes' magazines was any better."
"Hey!" Ferguson called out. "At least they looked delicious!"
"Hmm, Touché."
"At least it doesn't get us into a lot of trouble if we we're caught by our parents in contrast to our voyeurism." Alfonzo pointed before getting the magazine from Ferguson and placing it under Marco's bed; which also held some tissue and some lotion. "I'd rather explain to Mom why I'm reading this kind of stuff rather than explain the fact we sneak into women's shower rooms."
Both of them looked at Alfonzo with flat faces. "Really?"
"What I'd say wrong?"
"Alfonzo, If my mom ever catches me choking the chicken to a magazine called 'Women with pretty fingernails', I'd be thrown into a mental asylum before I can even have the chance to explain." Marco deadpanned.
"Same here." Ferguson followed as the boy stood up. "If Mom catches a glimpse of that, she'll kill me on the spot."
The three boys then looked at each other in dead silence, before laughing at the shenanigans. Even if they had been considered as the town perverts, they still enjoy little moments like these. Making jokes and insulting each other before laughing like a madman. Ahh, good times.
"But enough of that for now," Marco then headed towards the door. "Let's go spy on some women!"
"Now that's something I can agree on!" Ferguson smiled before being followed by Alfonzo soon after.
"So, where are we going?" Alfonzo asked before going outside of the room.
"Trust me, it's a very familiar place we've been to before." Marco mysteriously answered.
He already had a feeling where they were going. And it wasn't a good one.
XxXxX
"AND! GET! OUT!" An angry woman shouted from the inside of the shower room. The woman threw out three beat-up boys as she spoke. The first one being Alfonzo; the one who was hurt the least, followed by Ferguson; who took a large amount of damage but wasn't close to being the most injured, and then there was Marco; who simply came out crawling and bruised from every single part of his body.
Yep. Called it.
After sneaking into the bathroom in a not-so-discreet manner, the boys were immediately found and recognized them. Or recognized Marco to say at least. The boy was known for being promiscuous when sneaking into bathrooms. Naturally, every woman in the city knew about him. Which didn't help Alfonzo and Ferguson's case when it came to being associated with Marco. Eventually, Marco had said some rude statements to the women which caused a fight.
A fight no man ever wished for...
Fifteen Women vs. Three Idiots.
In short, they got their asses handed to them. Figuratively.
I'd be damned if they got their butts surgically but carefully cut off and handed to them in a matter of minutes...
"Take note...never follow Marco whenever he's bored to death. No matter how fun it could be..." Alfonzo groaned as he stood up and dusted himself off. "You're lucky they didn't castrate us by the time we weren't able to stand up."
"That would've been horrible..." Ferguson then stood up and stared at Marco. "Hey look, our perverted lord and saviour, Marco Diaz. Who is now currently lying on the ground all bruised and battered up." He shot him a smug smile before crossing his arms. "Not so powerful now, eh? Marco?"
"Fuck you, Fat bastard..." Marco growled from under his breath.
"What did you say?" Ferguson leaned in close to the boy in mock-confusion. "I didn't hear that. Would you like me to curb stomp your ass right here right now? Or would you like me to carry you so that you won't be left alone with millions of women trying to kill you?"
"Just get me up! Asshole."
And so he did. Ferguson grabbed him by the arms before placing him on his back. Marco would've punched the fatass in the face, if it weren't for the fact that the women from inside the bathroom may have potentially broken some of his bones earlier, he would've Jackie Chan-ed Ferguson in a blink of an eye.
"So, what now?" Alfonzo asked before looking around the environment. "We could go home if you want."
"Home is the reason slim jim over here even tried to spy on some babes in the first place." Ferguson answered for Marco. "I don't think he'll be happy to go back to the house of boredom."
"We can watch a movie." Alfonzo recommended.
"Unless it's rated M, I ain't watchin' nothing." Marco answered back.
"How about the park?"
"Isn't that place on lockdown after we accidentally destroyed the trees?" Ferguson contradicted. "I'm sure tons of people are still looking for us in there. We just got lucky that Marco found a manhole to go inside of."
"..." Alfonzo stared at the two with a deadpan expression. "Ice cream shop?"
"Actually..." Marco looked like he was considering it. It didn't take long for him to decide. "I haven't had ice cream in a long time to be honest with you."
"Me neither." The chubby boy added before facing his two friends. "When was the last time we actually stopped for ice cream?"
"Two months ago." Marco replied.
"Geez, it is a long time ever since we got a chance to taste that." Alfonzo stated. "I guess it's decided-"
"To the ice cream store!" Marco shouted before kicking Ferguson's hips. "Giddy up! Fatass!"
"I'm seriously gonna drop you if you keep doing that!"
(Later)
"Man, I miss eating this ball of sugary goodness!" Marco smiled as he licked the food before him.
"'Ball of sugary goodness'? Isn't that what you call a boob?" Ferguson chuckled before sipping on a strawberry milkshake. "Or are you suggesting something a lot more manlier?"
"Oh my, Marco." Alfonzo chimed in before spooning the bowl that was previously filled with this 'ball of sugary goodness'. "I didn't know you having a hard time coming out of the closet."
"Real funny, jerks." Marco glared at the two before smirking. He turned to face Ferguson. "At least I don't have the taste of meat in my mouth 24/7. Meat that fills me up with thick and juicy luquid three times a day."
This comment got the people's attention. Marco's smirk only grew wider as he faced Alfonzo. "And good thing I'm in a healthy condition all the time. I wouldn't like any medicine with Vitamin D up my ass all the time, would I?"
"Wanna start a fight, Diaz?!" Ferguson slammed his hand on the table, which vibrated immensely. "I'll make sure you suck on something by the time I'm done with you!"
"And you say I'm the one having trouble getting out of the closet."
Alfonzo sighed. He knew better than to cause a ruckus in a place like this. They were already banned in several places due to their fighting attitude. He liked the ice cream store, so he was sure as hell ain't letting these two start a fight that would ban them for life.
So like the mature person that he was, he grabbed both of their ears and dragged them outside. "Let's go."
"OW! What's your problem, Nerd?!" Ferguson shouted as Alfonzo kept grabbing their ears.
"Yeah, what gi- Hey, look!" Marco originally wanted to send Alfonzo a scowl before seeing something that interested him.
Alfonzo and Ferguson quickly turned their heads to the side in mild surprise. It was a woman. No doubt about it. She had pink hair that reached her ears. A pink crop top to suit her face. And a white dress with heels. Simple, yet beautiful. It wasn't unusual for Marco to be interested in beautiful women, but Alfonzo sensed something was off with her. But that didn't stop Marco before. Alfonzo looked at Ferguson to see that he was entranced as well.
"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Marco then eyed Ferguson expectantly.
"Oh you know it."
Alfonzo could only place a palm in his face as he knew what was about to happen.
"Time to spy her in the showers!"
XxXxX
"OH GOD WHY?!"
"THE HUMANITY!? WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING!?"
"I'm never going to erase the image from my mind, am I?"
These were the words of Marco Diaz, Ferguson O'Durgson, and Alfonzo Dolittle after witnessing a truly shocking sight that they wanted to erase from their minds. But what could be so horrible that all three of them garnered a reaction such as this? What did they see?
A mythical beast that is the epitome of pure evil?
"I can't believe a person would do such a thing!" Marco continued furiously rubbing his eyes to make sure the horrifying image that they saw earlier would leave his brain once and for all.
A human that disgusted and traumatized the boys with their vicious actions?
"Did you see that!? Did you see how big that thing was!?" Ferguson cried as he bashed his head on a nearby wall.
"Tell me about it..."
But no my friends, it wasn't some big old creature that scared all of the boys, nor was it a person with an insane personality that scared all of them. It was a revelation. A revelation no teenage boy with a voyeurism problem should ever face. A revelation that will shock even the toughest of people, the bravest of heroes, and the scariest of monsters...
They found out that the person they spied on...
was a boy...
"Tell me that this day could not get any worse..." Alfonzo sighed before being slapped out of nowhere.
"I found them!" A feminine voice announced before a cheer with several other feminine voices appeared.
"It's the cheerleader group from last week!" Marco shouted before sprinting in the other direction. "Run for your- Augh!"
It didn't take long for the three boys to be huddled up in a pile. The group of girls cracked their fists as the gave them grins that promised them pain. horrible, terrible pain.
"Any last words?"
"..." The boys looked at each other before Marco decided to answer for them. "We were framed?"
Yup. This was going to hurt.
And that's that.
Again, please don't take the story seriously. I don't condone any behavior regarding any acts of voyeurism or its variants. And that goes for the upcoming chapters of this as well. I did this story without any ill-intentions in mind, so please don't tell me how much of a bad person I am. Because I know.
Anyways, to people who have already read my other stories. I have an announcement:
1.) I'll have a word limit from now on. Previously, I usually did chapters that only held like 2k-2.5k words. But I want to change that. Instead of simple 2k words, I will now set my word limit to 3k-5k words. So that you have a better and a longer chapter for you to read.
2.) This is a chart of what is the current condition my stories are in:
Brothers And Sisters (Revised): Chapter is not yet written, still deciding on upcoming decisions.
One More Shot: Chapter is already started, Writer's block is killing it.
The Girl In The Corner: Chapter is not yet written, next even for story is already planned.
Reviews are love. I don't care how nice or how bad it is. It can be a compliment, complaint, suggestion, and/or criticism.
But anyways, that's all for now and I will see you in the next one.
Crazyman out.
Extras: In The Hospital
"Aw man, the blood won't stop coming out." Ferguson placed a rag on his bleeding nose and forehead. "I've already been doing this for the last thirty minutes, and nothing new happened. It's all blood and nothing else
"Like you have the right to complain." Alfonzo whined as he sat up from one of the beds. "Oww. I think they broke my back and my leg."
"YOU THINK!?" Marco shouted from across the room, his anger clearly directed at the two boys. "You guys had nothing! I almost got castrated and they broke my everything as well!"
It was true. No matter how much they complain they're feeling right now, it will never match up to what Marco was experiencing. Ferguson only had a bleeding nose and forehead. Alfonzo barely got out with only a broken left leg and an injured spine. But Marco took the blunt of the damage. They broke every single bone he has in his body and is currently wrapped around in bandages. What's worse than that is the fact that Marco was spewing out so much blood that he felt like he was going to die of blood loss at any given moment. And to top it all off, the boy had been nearly robbed of his manhood had it not been for the ambulance that Alfonzo called when he got out.
When Marco finally calmed down, Alfonzo said, "I think we learned a valuable lesson today..."
"Never follow the idiot that drags us into this mess?" Ferguson causally stated, which earned him a glare from Marco. "Hey, I'm saying the truth."
"Apart from that, what did we learn?" Alfonzo then looked at Marco; who muttered something about Alfonzo being a jerk.
"Never spy on women in showers and public restrooms..." Marco grumbled.
"Good." Alfonzo sighed in contentment. "I just hope you two follow these lessons that we learned."
"Don't worry, Alfonzo." Marco then smiled at the boy. "We won't spy on women anymore, right Fatass?"
"What'd you say, Diaz?" Ferguson gritted his teeth. "Of course we wouldn't!"
"Which is why..." Marco paused. "We should spy on men instead!"
Both Ferguson and Alfonzo had incredulous looks and the faces before turning to each other.
"You know what to do."
And with that, Ferguson stood up and cracked his fists before walking to where Marco was at...
...
*SLAM*
*CRACK*
*BANG*
...
"DOCTOR! The patient is in critical condition!"
"SHUT UP NURSE!"
