Musings of a Gunter

He's doing that thing in the bath again. Glob, it's gross. Why do I have to be the one who brings him more milk? And he won't stop giggling!

Urgh... He'll fall asleep soon. Then I can blob off somewhere else.

Don't get me wrong, I love the Ice King, no matter how crazy and weird he is: he puts a roof over our heads, zaps fire wolves when they try to eat us, and is a nice guy when he's not doing something weird. But he's a bit of a killjoy. I mean, the whole of Ooo, dominated. That was cool. And then there's the dance parties and stuff. He has been doing that less often, though. He's been getting better since he got some friends. Spends less time around the castle too.

Truth be told... I miss the old patoot. The good old days, when he'd freeze anything that looked at him wrong, or just happened to be sitting nearby when he got bored... New princess every other day... Playing video games on my head for hours on end... Good times. Kind of. I can't explain it. Nowadays he's almost sane!

Of course, nobody who's sane sits in a bathtub full of milk and pretends to be a magic angel every couple of months. How did he even discover that he liked doing that, anyway? I'll just give him one more carton and cash in that favour with Goondy. He can dig out the plughole this time. Besides, I need to feed Junior. She's not been getting enough iron lately.

Ha, and I need to eat less salt. Almost forgot about that. Again. He really does look after us, in his own little way. I think I'll be sad to see the old timer go sane again if the human lady gets her cure. He might still look out for us, I guess. I mean, sure, he tried to get married like a billion times over the last couple of hundred years, but he held on to that lady for a whole thousand. Maybe he'll still care about us.

Scratch that. (Or flipper it, whatever.) He will. If I know the crazy son of a blee-blop, and I do, it's that he never gives up. Not on anybody or anything. Maybe that's why I like him.