Keeping Up Appearances

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Edith sat in the grand library in front of the burned out fire, cuddled into a pillow on the red sofa. It was really late at night and she couldn't sleep, so she had come there to think and hopefully get really tired in the process. Her baby had kept her up, she or he just wouldn't stop kicking her and squeezing her bladder and ribs.

She and Rosamund had postponed their trip to Switzerland to make it as short as possible in the eyes of their surroundings. So here she was, 5 months pregnant and unable to do anything differently then normal for fear of discovery. She was dressing herself, without a ladies maid and did that in more baggy dresses every day, trying to hide her swollen belly.

The nausea had thankfully past a few weeks ago, which had been the hardest thing to cover up. Random periods of sickness, always hit her in the most impractical moments. At the breakfast table with her father and Tom, at coffee with granny, who looked at her weirdly but hadn't suspected anything, and most famously her stunt at the dinner table where she had to bolt from the room, when the smell of the fish had made her sick. She had faked a stomach bug for three days after the incidence to get away with it. She was looking forward to the day this was all over. At that thought the baby kicked again.

"Hey, what was that for?" she asked, rubbing her stomach gently.

"Who are you talking to?" a stern voice suddenly sounded from the door, Mary.

Edith eyes widened and she turned around, while trying to tie her robe around her in a way to disguise her condition.

"No one, I was talking to myself and I deserve a joke as punishment for that, so go ahead, give it to me." Edith said, trying to make fun of herself to distract Mary.

Mary's eyes bore into Edith and it was hard for her not to crack. Mr. Carson wouldn't be able to pull off a look like that, but he would be proud of Mary for hers.

"You were scolding yourself?" she asked and stepped closer, then sat down next to Edith.

"Yes." Edith said. "I am annoyed, because I can't sleep. What are you doing in the library at this time?" she asked.

"I couldn't sleep either and wanted to fetch a book for distraction, but don't change the subject, what is going on?" she asked and Edith was surprised by the sincerity in her voice.

"I really don't think you want to hear about it Mary. I wasn't married to Michael, so in your eyes I don't have a reason to grief. And don't tell me there is hope. He has been missing for four and a half months, I have to face reality, however hard it is."

"Don't put words in my mouth. And I'm sure Mr. Gregson was a very decent man, I just don't understand that you are not even trying to move on, you weren't even engaged." Mary said and leaned back a bit.

"That's just the point. I loved Michael as much as you loved Matthew and we would probably have been married by now if it hadn't been for insurmountable difficulties." Edith said vaguely.

"What? Like a secret wife and children?" Mary said, obviously not meaning it seriously.

"Yes, like that. There weren't any children, but he was married."

Mary did a double take. "You were carrying on with a married man? Edith! I'm shocked and a bit disgusted to be honest. The poor wife!"

Edith rolled her eyes a bit and sighed unnerved. "I'm happy I can still shock you. The wife isn't in the picture, she is in an asylum and Michael couldn't divorce her in England, that's why he went away. He wanted to become a German citizen, divorce her and then marry me. But of course, with my luck in life, it never came to that. He was in Munich merely one day, before he got ruffed up and vanished."

"Why did you keep his martial status a secret? Maybe papa could have pulled some strings for you and him." Mary said, trying to help.

"That would never have happened. Papa wouldn't have lifted a finger for our cause. He liked Michael fine in the end, but not enough to put our house in danger of scandal. Plus, Michael told Matthew about our problem. Matthew told him to stay away from me, that he was being selfish. But it's infeasible to walk away from the person you love. I really tried to fight it, to stay away from him, but he was IT for me." Edith hormones betrayed her and tears rolled down her cheeks. Mary produced a handkerchief from her robe pocket and handed it to Edith. "Thank you."

"When did he tell Matthew?" Mary asked, clearly sympathetic with her sister, which confused Edith, who wasn't used to this side of her.

"In Scotland when they went fishing, I think."

They were both lost in thought for a minute. "Do you know which book you wanted?" Edith asked, feeling confidant that Mary wouldn't pester her any further about talking to herself earlier.

"Honestly no, do you have a recommendation for me?" Mary asked and stood up. She walked over to a shelf and lightly touched a few books with her fingertips.

"Yes actually, I just finished some. If you are looking for some crime drama, give 'The Murder on the Links' by Agatha Christie a chance, it just came out or if you haven't read it yet, 'The Age of Innocence' or 'The House of Mirth' by Edith Wharton, those are older, but really interesting, granny Martha recommended them to me. Just don't let papa see you read those. They are on my shelf in that cupboard over there." Edith said and gestured to one of the doors.

Mary walked over and opened it. "This'll give me something to do for now, thank you."

To Edith dismay Mary didn't turn to leave, but sat back down next to her.

"She wrote the Age of Innocence to make up for the more dramatic House of Mirth, but I think you'll like both." She supplied, when she saw that Mary had picked the former.

"You and your books, you were always inseparable. Didn't you say you met Virginia Woolf once?"

Edith looked down with the thought of Michael. "Yes, several times actually. I met her first at the party Michael threw to introduce me to all his friends. She is a bit wacky, but nice. That was such a great night. He told me he loved me for the first time."

"Edith, I'm sorry I made fun of you and Michael. It wasn't my place."

Edith smiled "Thank you for saying that, it means a lot, though I can't really believe my ears."

Mary rolled her eyes "Whatever."

They both laughed. Then suddenly Edith felt a kick, jumped a bit in surprise, put one hand on her mouth and the other on her midriff and then quickly tried to cover up her natural reaction. Her heart was hammering in her chest.

"What is the matter with you?" Mary asked. Before Edith could stop her, she had already pulled Edith's robe open. "Are you ill? What is it with you and this robe, I…"

Edith thought about explaining her reaction with the hiccups, but knew it was already too late. Mary was staring at her stomach, highly perplexed. "Edith, you are…"

"Pregnant."

Edith breathed out. Her secret was out. This was not going to end well. She wished she could have taken a photo of Mary's face in that moment. Shock mixed with surprise, pity and sympathy.

"But you can't be!"

"Uh, let me assure you, I am."

"But Michael has been gone for nearly half a year! Or was it someone else? Edith!"

"I just told you I loved Michael and that I'm pregnant and the first thing you say is that it must have been someone else? Thank you very much." Edith rolled her eyes, but smiled, because she knew her sister was just confused. "Look…" Edith opened her rope and turned to her sister. "… I'm 5 months along." She took her sisters hand and pressed it to the spot that the baby had kicked her in earlier, the one that had given her away. Nothing happened.

"Great, first you give me away and now this." Edith told her unborn child. Then the baby responded with a big one. "Thank you."

"You really are… Edith I can't believe this. Does mama know? Have you told anyone? What are you going to do!?"

Now Edith was, despite the serious situation, very amused. Her sister was acting like nothing she had ever witnessed before in their life together.

"Nobody knows except for aunt Rosamund. You already know we are planing to go to Switzerland soon. Our plan was for none of you to ever find out. I will give her or him to a nice swiss family." Edith tells her sister. "Please Mary, you can't tell anyone. It's hard enough as it is, I don't need Mama and Papa looking down on me for the rest of my life, when I already have to live without my child and the man I love."

For a moment it looked as if Mary was going to cry.

"Oh Edith." She said instead and pulled her into a tender, but firm, embrace.

"Though you are the last person I would have told voluntarily, I'm glad you know." Edith told her big sister. She was being transported back to a time when they were very young, when Mary used to hold her like this when she had a nightmare or there was a storm outside.

"My baby sister is having a baby in little over three months, lost the man she loves and to top it all off, has to give her child away. Right in this moment I dislike everything about the way we grew up and who we are. I'm so sorry Edith."

Edith disentangled herself from Mary, then put her hand on Marys leg.

"Thank you, but sadly it wouldn't be much different if I was a maid or something similar, remember Ethel."

"That was different."

"Not really, only that I wouldn't have to do what she did. I could go to America and stay with grandmama, she'd understand but honestly, that's a step I couldn't take. Plus I couldn't stay away from all of you for the rest of our lives and expect Martha to do the same. Michael's lawyer tells me I will most likely inherit The Sketch from Michael and maybe his flat… oh Mary, my brain is just so foggy all the time."

"It's called pregnancy brain and I swear I had it too, I just had Matthew cover for me in public."

They both reminiscence about old times for a moment. Thinking about Matthew became easier with time, as would thinking of Michael, Edith hoped.

"If I help you, would you be willing to find another way out of this? So the child can stay here with us? We have already lost too many family members and he or she already is one."

"Oh Mary, that's all I really want and of course I want my baby to live with me." Edith said with tears in her eyes. "But there are so many obstacles."

"So we will overcome them together, as sisters should."

"You said the same thing after Sybil died, but you also said that we'd never get along, what changed your mind?" Edith said, still hurt from her sisters rejection by her sisters death bed.

"Maybe your situation reminded me, that I'm not the only person in this house with baggage and we'd be much stronger if we stuck together." Mary answered. "I'm not sure."

"We'll think of something together, but not now, I think we had rather enough excitement for one night." Edith decided, giving Mary the opportunity not to answer her further.

"I agree and this book will have to wait until another day as well."

They got up and Mary followed Edith movements and body. "I'm astounded that nobody has realized it yet, you are huge!" Mary said as Edith stood in full length. "I mean, not fat, but…"

"I know what you mean, I'm astounded myself. I have many tricks to cover up the truth and besides, hardly anyone notices me in this house anyway, so hiding this is easier than it looks."

"You have no idea how many situations, that irritated me until today, make sense now! The famous dinner, were you up and left in a hurry. And now when I think about it you never drank any wine at the table. It's so many small details which I'm only now realizing all came down to your condition."

"Yes, but remember, I won't tell mama and papa right away or ever if I have anything to say in our plan, so don't change anything in your behavior towards me, it would be too suspicious."

"That's easy." Mary said in her usual cold tone, but Edith somehow knew she wasn't being honest. Maybe a common secret or problem had been what they needed to mend the fences all along.

They said goodnight and went back to their own rooms, both with new things to think about and hopefully they'd both be able to get some sleep in the end.

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The End