All He Needed
The durasteel and concrete bunker wasn't a place of beauty or splendor, but none of it mattered with Rey at Kylo Ren's side. She was all he needed.
He looked at the smaller figure curled onto him, resting her head on his shoulder, half-asleep. How did this resilient desert rose end up being his, after all that had happened between them, after all he had done to her? He knew he didn't deserve her yet she had given him the gift of her love and all he wanted now was to be worthy of it. How, he hadn't quite worked out yet…
She stirred and the incredible feel of her bare body against his sent shivers though him. She looked up at him and smiled warmly. She was so full of light. Her soul was effervescent.
He couldn't help but smile back at her. "You're so handsome when you do that," she said. Her words took him aback. He never thought of himself as attractive. He'd always felt gawky and awkward growing up and as a young man, he'd focused on the Force, both when he had been a padawan and when he was Snoke's apprentice. The only semblance of vanity he'd permitted himself was his hair but that was more to annoy Hux than anything else, showing the general he had rank and privilege above military rules.
"You've finally given me a reason to smile," he said, feeling ridiculous as soon as the words left his lips. He blushed and looked away.
She nuzzled his chest. "I can give you more reasons," she said. He felt the heady brew of desire returning. Heat surged through his body. Having a woman who loved him, who desired him was intoxicating. That she wanted more of him made him feel lightheaded.
She started raining kisses on his skin, running her hands on his shoulders and arms. He trailed his fingers down her back. The cloak that had covered them slipped off. She looked at his form with wonder and fascination. He had trained to obtain maximum use out of his body in combat. He built himself to be a powerful warrior, not to gain the appreciative gazes of a woman. He'd felt so vulnerable the first time he was nude in front of her but now he realized it was part of his seductiveness, something that made her stare and bite her lip. And that made him feel strong and confident.
"I'm sorry," she said with an embarrassed laugh. "I haven't seen naked men, er, much before and I…"
"Don't worry about it," he purred, knowing now how his voice made her feel. "Look all you want."
He lifted up her chin and kissed her, devouring her lips. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, holding her against him. He felt her nipples harden against his skin. Then she broke the kiss and wrapped one leg around his waist, hoisting herself up on his lap. He gaped at her in surprise and she returned a little triumphant smile. Her lithe, taut body was in full view. Slightly tanned skin dotted with freckles. Small, pert breasts and rosy nipples. Slender but muscular legs. She was absolutely bewitching.
She leaned forward and kissed him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. He slipped his arms around her waist. Their kiss deepened into teeth, tongue, and lips. He could feel his heart and hers pounding in their chests. He wanted to turn her over and overwhelm her body with his own. But she put a hand on his chest. "I want to try it this way," she said.
"Thirsty desert girl," he said, playfully smacking her buttocks. She laughed then she grabbed a handful of his hair, pulling him toward her to kiss him again. Then she turned her attention to his jaw, his neck, his earlobes. She sucked hard on his neck, and he moaned. Her hands roamed over his chest, pinching his nipples. She had the air of a girl loose in a candy store, eager to try everything.
He felt her slick dampness between her legs and it stirred his manhood to life. He slid his hands to her hips and they joined again with a deep groan. It was easier this time and she wasted no time setting the rhythm of their thrusts. He nuzzled her delicate neck, kissed her freckled skin, sampled her soft sweet breasts. He loved the way she smelled, the way she tasted, how her body felt with his. And he knew she felt the same about him.
Soon he was supine on the floor as she rode him like a wild beast. He felt as though he was high on spice as he gazed at her writhing body and the ecstasy on her beautiful face. He moved his hands from her waist to her breasts while she held on to him, digging her nails into his flesh. Mine, mine, mine, he thought.
You're mine too, her voice echoed in his head.
Yes, forever, he responded.
There was tenderness in her expression and soon she was overcome with emotion again. He felt the explosion of release in her and she threw back her head with a long, "Beeeeeeen!"
He lost all control now. He exerted himself furiously until he cried out her name, his release filling her body. She collapsed in his arms, both of them heaving and sweating. They kissed again and he felt more alive than he'd ever been. There was nothing that compared to this, as though everything he'd ever sought in his life was a poor recompense for the simple intimacies with the luminescent spirit wrapped around him. He stroked her back, his thoughts wandering with the implications of what they'd promised to each other.
Hours later, Kylo Ren and Rey left their makeshift temple of love and they strolled hand-in-hand through the grassy plains back toward their respective ships. The rain had stopped now and the air seemed cleaner. Sunlight peered from between clouds.
Looming ahead of them were the dark spires of his shuttle and the familiar hunk of collapsing junk, the Millennium Falcon. Kylo—or am I Ben now?—stared ahead, clutching his beloved's fingers tightly in his large gloved hand. He never thought he would have to make such a literal choice between his two selves, long at war with each other in his soul. But he had sworn to never to leave her side again. He had made a sacred vow to her and she to him. Oh if only there was a third ship to take us both away. The Falcon held so much turmoil for him, so many painful memories and feelings.
Rey must've felt his emotions—of course she felt them, they were bound in the Force—because she glanced up at him with concern and squeezed his hand. "It'll be all right," she said.
"I don't know," he admitted. "I still feel like I can't." He stopped walking and Rey halted beside him. "Wait. Chew…the Wookiee's not on that ship, is he?"
"If he were, he would've torn down the door to that bunker hours ago looking for me," she said. "No, I came alone. He wanted to come with me but I said 'no.' I didn't know how…things…were going to turn out."
It stabbed at his heart that even just hours ago, she feared there would be violence between them. But the woman he loved was wise. He promised himself from this day forward, she would have no reason to believe he would harm her. "Does he know you came to see me?"
"Yes. Just as he knew I was coming to you on the Supremacy." Her hazel eyes grew tender. "Ben, I believe he forgives you."
He took in a deep breath of wet grassland and huffed. Such a heavy thing to discuss when all he wanted to do was luxuriate in the afterglow of their lovemaking. Tears stung his eyes. "You believe. But you don't know. I don't think I could face him again."
She looked sad but she touched his cheek sympathetically. "Don't underestimate his heart."
He knew she was right. If there was anyone with a capacity to forgive…
She started walking again, pulling him along by her hand. The contact between them was still electric. She was swaying her hips now in a way he found hypnotic. He knew now how that body looked unclothed; he could imagine her skin beneath the fabric. She smiled at him with a bit of a naughty glint in her eye. He licked his lips and grinned back at her. They were not done with each other yet. It was as though they were paired by the cosmic Force itself and this was their honeymoon.
They reached the Falcon's ramp and she looked at him imploringly. "Come. Claim what's yours," she said.
He looked at the ancient bucket of bolts and then he looked at her. He nodded and she led him aboard.
