I apologize that Chapter One isn't that good. It really gets better as it goes though, I promise.

Chapter One

Welcome to fucking Remnant

"FUCK! FUCK! FUCK FUCK! FU-"

Oh why am I cussing? Oh I only just woke up in the middle of Emerald Forest in FUCKING RWBY!?

How do I know this? Well lets go back a little shall we?

Back a little bit shall we?

I woke up sore, as one does when they've slept on the ground. I stood up, only to realize, as I said, I had been sleeping on the ground. NOT my bed. I also noticed that I was in the middle of a forest.

'The fuck? How did I get here?'

My gaze flew around the small clearing I had found myself in before my gaze rested on a black ADIDAS backpack, exactly where I had just been sleeping. Slightly curious, I opened the bag and shuffled through it's contents.

'My Laptop? How did it get here? Let's see, what else... laptop charger, bottle of water, flashlight and...

"IS THAT A FUCKING SAWED-OFF SHOTGUN!? THE FUCK!"

And yep. I was staring at a fucking sawed-off shotgun. It was about 14 inches in length and was colored pitch black. The handle, while the same color, was textured so it would be easier to grip. I grabbed it, taking care to avoid putting my finger on the trigger. Unfortunately, just as I had the gun pulled out of the backpack, my finger slipped and I accidentally flipped a switch that rested on the guns side. I screeched and dropped the gun as it began to fold out change in front of my eyes into a fucking short sword.

As a short sword, the weapon was about 20 inches in length. The weapon, blade included, was still pitch black and the handle was still textured as to make gripping it easier. The switch from before, rested at the very bottom of the sword. Well out of the way as to prevent accidental weapon morphing.

'What the fuck is going on!?'

I reach to pick up the fallen blade but I stop and realize for the first time...

'Why the fuck am I wearing fingerless gloves? I don't even OWN fingerless gloves! Oh holy fucking hell! WHAT THE FUCK AM I WEARING!?'

Looking down at myself, I saw an outfit I definitely did not fucking recognize. I was dressed in bright red long sleeved shirt, black pants, a black belt with a buckle the shape of demon head and black combat boots. Over all this, I was dressed in a black version of what I could only call Dante's coat from 'Devil May Cry'. This was not what caused my mini- freakout however...

"Holy shit did I lose weight!? Where did these muscles come from!? AND ARE THOSE PISTOLES!?"

Indeed. I was no longer skinny as a rail, was armed with multiple weapons and looked like a fucking Dante rip-off. Despite my growing confusion and agitation, I drew both pistols and almost wanted to sigh.

'They look exactly like Ebony and Ivory, what a fucking surprise...'

Placing the pistols back in their holsters. I noticed a sheathe type thing connected to the left side of my belt.

'This fucking sheathe thing is for the fucking shot-blade isn't it? What the hell is going on? How did I get here? Who dressed me up as a Dante lookalike? Why do I have deadly ass morphing ass weapons? Also, why the fuck backpack? Honestly if I didn't know better, I'd think I was in the middle of some crappy fan fiction.'

'Let's just, grab the backpack and see where the fuck I am shall we? Save the bullshit horrifying thoughts for later.'

After zipping it closed, I put on the black backpack, placed the Shot-Blade in its sheathe and set off in some random direction. I walk for several minutes, possibly for about fifteen or so, before I start to feel pissed. The more I walked, the more pissed I got. Every step was awarded with the sight of more trees, twigs and the occasional broken tree branch. Eventually, I finally spotted a clearing and rushed out only to find...

That I was at the bottom of an extremely smooth cliff. No fucking way was I climbing that. I stand there in seething anger for several moments before a sound pierces my ear.

"GRR..."

I turn around slowly, a strong sense of fear grips my heart and I do not know why. All I know is whatever just growled was inhuman. It didn't sound like a fucking animal either. Finally turning fully, I am greeted by the sight of a fucking Ursa.

How did you know it was an Ursa? Don't ask stupid fucking questions. An Ursa is pretty fucking distinctive. Anyway, this leads me to my current predicament.

The Fucking Present

"-CK! FUCK! FUCK! FUUUUCK!"

In response to my long list of fucks, the Ursa snarls before charging straight at me. It swats at me with its right claw and I try to dodge. But you know, fuck me right? I'm hit dead on and flung into a nearby tree. I groan in pain before standing up. Wait...

'At the speed and force I was just hit with, logically I should be dead! Or at the very least have a few broken bones or bruises! Does... does this mean I have fucking Aura?'

More growling fills the air as the rest of the Ursa's...Ursa?...Ursai? What the fuck ever- joins it in the clearing. Ten of them, including the first one that I encountered. They seem to be lead by the largest one, that's probably the Alpha.

'If this is what I think it is and I AM in some shitty RWBY fic. Then this would turn into a fight that shows my skills and gets Ozpin's attention and most likely gets me into Beacon. But how can I be sure-'

'Is that a fucking camera drone?'

'Oh my god it is!'

Flying just above the is some sort of metallic flying object, connected to said object was a video camera.

I am pulled out of my thoughts when a nearby Ursa tries to strike me and I surprise myself by back-flipping directly onto a fucking tree limb.

"Oh my god! That was fucking awesome!"

'I'm guessing if I can do that, then I already know how to fight here for some reason. Some fanfic bullshit I guess...'

I feel myself smirk as I look at the camera toting drone. 'Ozpin you better be fucking watching, cause I'm about to give you one hell of a show!'

Ignoring the angry growls, snarls and roars of the Ursa below me. Ursai below me? Ursa's below me? What the fuck is Ursa plural? I took off and unzipped the backpack and, while hanging it off a higher branch by it's strap, pulled out my Laptop and opened it.

'Half Battery. Good. I can work with that.'

I eventually made it to my laptops music section and smirked as I picked the song I wanted. I turned the volume to its loudest setting before placing the laptop on the safest, largest spot on the tree branch. The forest was soon filled with the opening guitar rifts of 'Welcome to the Jungle' by Guns and Roses and I smirked as the Ursa grew silent. I jumped from my position on the tree and landed directly in front of the Ursa who had tried to strike me earlier. I smirked again and realized I had the best opportunity for a one-liner.

"Welcome to the Jungle bitches!"

'Eh, gotta work on that. I think I made myself cringe.'

As if on cue, the Ursai all roared and charged, the one closest to me swiping for my torso. Flipping over its strike, I landed on its head before drawing Ebony and Ivory and shooting into its skull repeatedly. The Ursa roared in pain and I jumped off as it fell over dead.

'One down. Nine to go.'

Holstering Ebony and Ivory, I pulled my Shot-blade from its sheathe and prepared for the charging Ursai. Soon I was jumping over several slashing claws and snarling teeth and I switched my Shot-blade into its shotgun form. I fire twice, the bullets exploding upon impact. Leaving two Ursa headless; much to my surprise.

"HOLY SHIT! THATS A TAD BIT EXESSIVE!", I shout as I land once again on the forest floor.

'Seven to go.'

Switching the shot-blade back into a short sword. I scream as I charge directly into the remaining pack of Ursa. I slash and avoid constantly. Dodging as I hack at limbs and decapitate when given the opportunity. I kill about three this way before the Ursai increase their ferocity. I get the feeling I'm pissing them off and I doubt I can duck and weave forever, so I back flip away.

'Four to go! You better be fucking watching Ozpin!'

I sheathe my shot-blade again before pulling out Ebony and Ivory. 'I wonder how many I can kill with this before they get their shit together?' I fire at the remaining Ursai and soon, I am dodging and weaving through slashing claws. I laugh as I avoid attacks and continue to fire into my enemy killing all but one in the process. 'Why is this so much fun!?'

Eventually, the Alpha gets in a damn good hit in and I go flying into the cliff wall. I slide down in a way that's almost comical, before standing as I groan in pain.

"You know where you are? You're in the Jungle baby! You're gonna die!"

'Oh shit! That part of the song already? I need to hurry this up if I want to look good for Ozpin.'

I holster Ebony and Ivory before drawing my blade. I sprint directly for the Alpha, who slashes in response. Anticipating this, I roll under the slash before jumping towards the Alpha's face. I stab my blade directly into its eye and it dies instantly, with no time to even roar in pain. The Ursa falls and I fall with it, holding the handle of my sword still lodged in it's eye. The song ends just as the Ursa and I make contact with the ground. The area grows silent and I look up and see that my laptop hasn't played the next song.

'Good, its set to pause at the end. That would have totally killed the mood otherwise.'

I pull my blade out of the Alpha's eye and place it within its sheathe, then I jump up to the tree limb that held my laptop. Closing it, I placed it back into my backpack then put on said pack. I jumped back down to the ground, then looked up towards the flying camera holding drone.

'Now's a good time to ask for a ride. Should I ask straight up? Be a bit demanding about it? Ooh... maybe I should just call him Ozpin and then ask for a ride? No... On second thought, I've read fics where Ozpin got scary towards O.C.'s that knew more than they should...'

'Oh. My. God. I'm an O.C. aren't I? Son of a Bitch!'

'I did awfully well fighting those Ursa... You listening God? I better not be some OP shit! If I really am in a fan fiction, I would rather readers not hate me!'

'Also no Gary-Stu stuff!'

'I should probably shout at that drone now.

"Hey! Whosoever behind that camera! Could you send a flying thing? Or otherwise get help? I have no idea where I'm going!"

The moment I finished speaking, the drone suddenly flew away. 'I choose to believe that means I'm about to have help.'

...

'Oh fucking hell, I'm probably going to meet Blake! That's either gonna be really amazing or really bad. Oh! And Ruby! I am so gonna beg for her to let me use Crescent Rose! And Yang! Oh I am so looking forward to the puns! If I'm lucky Weiss won't hate me too much... Oh and Team JNPR! Ooh, Velvet and Coco too! So. Much. Fanboying!'

'Oh shit! What am I gonna call myself? If this is really a fic, no way in hell am I using my real name... And I know what YOUR trying to do, but I refuse to use the name Dante. Or Nero... In fact all Devil May Cry names are off limits. Maybe something with a sense of Irony? Salem maybe?

'On second thought, I would rather not cause Ozpin to shoot me... I like the movie labyrinth! Let's see... Jareth? No..Hoggle? Hell no... What was the main characters brothers name again? Oh yeah, Toby!

...

Yeah I like the sound of that! Toby what though... Something connected to a main character? No. Don't want to have to pretend I'm related... Hmm... I've been obsessed with Death Note lately... so... Toby Yagami? No that's fucking terrible. Toby Lawliet?'

'Toby Lawliet... I like it. Toby Lawliet. Now I need a name for my Shot-blade, cause I fucking refuse to call it that any longer... Let's see, sticking with the Death Note theme... Heh... I know exactly what I'm fucking calling it... Kira.'

'Okay, so let's summarize. Name is Toby Lawliet. Shot-blade is called Kira. Pistols called Ebony and Ivory. Awesome! Look out Salem! Here comes Toby Lawliet!'

'Oh my god Salem! I never watched the series! I just read fanfics! I have no idea what moves Cinder and her are going to make! All I can remember is I think Pyrrha dies in Volume 3.

'AHH! Pyrrha dies! What the fuck am I gonna do to prevent that! Everything I read never passed Volume 2! What should I do!? Wait... Why am I in a RWBY fic? I can't remember this shit! I'd be much more competent in a show I'd actually watched!'

'That's why you picked me isn't it? O.C. from "our world" that has no idea what's in store for him? That's your gimmick isn't it? Fuck you so hard right now!'

Now a lot more unsure about this whole thing, I jump back up onto the tree I used to hold my laptop earlier and, after hooking my backpack in the same place as last time, lied down, resting my head up against the tree trunk. All the sudden, I'm exhausted and finding it hard to keep my eye's open.

'I hope I didn't just show off for no reason, in fact I hope I wake up to Ozpin showing up in a... What were they called? Bullhead's?'

And with that thought, I finally give in and I close my eyes.

LINEBREAK

I was awoken by an unfamiliar sound. Groaning as I turned my head, I was greeted with the sight of a Bullhead. 'I'm getting good at guessing this shit. I wonder if I'm just that good and can read cliches... or if the person behind this shitty fic just thought this was easier...' The Bull head touches down in the dead center of the clearing, giving it ample room to avoid the cliff and many trees of Emerald Forest. Soon afterwords, a door on the Bullhead slides open and someone steps out holding a signature mug of coffee.

Motherfucking Ozpin.

Grabbing my backpack I rub the sleep from my eyes and, after checking if I had all my weapons, I slid off the tree and back onto the forest floor. This action gains the attention of Ozpin and he watches me as I walk towards him, taking great care to keep my hands where he can see them. I know Ozpin can be one scary motherfucker. As I get closer and we make eye contact, I see Ozpin's eye twinkle with something... Curiosity? Glee? Fuck if I know. But if that's how he reacted to my eyes...

'Okay Author, I better not have the eyes of a Grimm you hear me? There are to many fucking fanfic's like that and I would like to at least be somewhat likable!'

Finally stopping before Ozpin, he gives me kind smile yet I can see the gears turning in his head. "Good Afternoon young man. You put on quite a show for the security drones."

'Okay, time to channel my inner Ozpin whisperer.'

I try to give Ozpin a cocky smile. "I try. And to be fair, I wasn't even sure someone was watching on the other end of that thing."

Ozpin sips his coffee. "I can assure you, we were watching. And I for one am very impressed with what I have seen." 'We? Oh, he's probably talking about Glynda.' Ozpin continues. "Where did you learn to fight like that at your age?"

'At my age? Oh my god... Really fanfic? Did you make me Ruby's age? I just wanted to meet the main cast but no.. The only reason I can think of for you making me Ruby's age is if you wanted me to date either her or someone else. Well you know what? No. I choose to be 16. No way in hell am I dating Ruby.'

'Blake on the other hand... No! Bad brain! Bad!'

'Also, how am I gonna answer his question? I don't think I can lie to Ozpin to his face... Maybe a half-truth?'

I smile sheepishly. "Believe it or not I have no idea. I don't remember fighting anything before I woke up here."

Ozpin's gaze becomes thoughtful and then he asks a question that sends up danger flags.

"Is your family aware of your whereabouts?"

'Oh shit. Didn't think this far ahead. What should I say? Wait... my family...

'Is not here... I'm alone aren't I?

'No! Must hold in sadness. Need excuse now. Will cry later.'

Despite my saying so, I am unable to keep the emotion out of my voice. "I'm not sure if they're even still alive..."

Ozpin's face becomes sympathetic but I can still see those damn gears turning in his head. "Where do you live?"

'I have an idea. I can play the amnesia card. I had to think up my own identity and since I have no I.D. on my person, that most likely means by fan fiction logic, I did not exist here until just awhile ago. So I play up the amnesia angle, all the while saying that I have no past to find. Less suspicious if I'm up front about it.'

I sigh. "I can assure you I don't have a home anywhere on Remnant." 'Not technically a lie.' "And I should point out that I can't remember anything beyond last week. I swear it's as if I just popped into existence one day! No I.D., no familiar faces nothing!", I ranted. What? I may be lying but I gotta sell it. "And then I just, wake up. In the middle of the forest wearing this." I gesture to my Dante-like clothes. "And I just magically know how to fight!"

Ozpin takes another sip of his coffee and I continue under his calculating stare. "Hell! The only thing I do know. Is the name of my weapons! The pistols are called Ebony and Ivory andthe shotgun, sword thing is called Kira. Other then that, I only know my name."

I shift my face from anger into a small smile and outstretch my hand for a handshake. "My name is Toby Lawliet and I have amnesia. Sorry if it seems odd to mention it again but people tend to forget."

Ozpin chuckles and shakes my hand. "You may call me Ozpin. I am the Headmaster at Beacon Academy." Withdrawing his hand, Ozpin gives me a thoughtful, if kind look. "Am I correct in assuming you have nowhere to go?"

I nod once, I think I'm actually sad right now. I've never not had a home before.

"Then I have a proposition for you. But first, would you like to join me in the Bullhead? I believe the pilot wishes to be home."

I laugh and follow Ozpin onto the Bullhead. And soon, we take off and as we fly through the air towards our destination, most likely Beacon, my fear of heights decides to kick in.

"Are you well? You look a bit pale."

I nodded hesitantly. "Y-yeah. I just remembered I have a fear of heights."

Ozpin hums in response before speaking again. "Do you know of Beacon Academy?"

I shook my head no. 'Wow I am so fucking lying.'

"Beacon is a school, that trains its students how to defend the world against Grimm. As I mentioned before, I am the Headmaster. So when the drone caught sight of your battle, I was notified immediately." Ozpin takes another sip of his coffee. "I am not opposed to last minute additions to our school and I believe it is beneficial to always keep an eye out for those with... particular talents." Ozpin shifts in his seat before he looks directly into my eyes. "Here is my proposition. I want you to attend Beacon and in return, I will provide you a place to sleep, eat and perhaps even give you a place to begin searching for your past. If you pass the initiation of course."

'Oh my god I've finally made it! Fucking yes! I'm gonna meet RWBY and JNPR!'

'And this better not be one of those fics that change the teams or make me replace a member! I ain't down with that shit!'

I pretend to look thoughtful before I finally smile. "I would be honored."

Ozpin takes another sip of his coffee before he gives me another smile. "In that case Mr. Lawliet, I shall arrange for you to stay at a hotel in Vale. Three days from now, I will send for someone to bring you to Beacon."

"Just one question?"

Ozpin seems surprised. "Yes Mr. Lawliet?"

"What is the plural of Ursa? Is it Ursa, Ursa's or Ursai?"

LINEBREAK

Ozpin dropped me off on the room a some hotel and I was escorted by one of the hotel staff, who had been waiting on the roof I might add, to what was going to be my room for the next few days. So now here I was, and god was I ready for a shower. I toss my boots off near the bed, before I drop my backpack on the bed. I then take off my clothes and toss them into the dirty clothes hamper. I might not have anything else to change into but... hell I ain't wearing dirty clothes. Heading into the bathroom, I see my reflection for the first time since coming here.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!"

Every part of my body was different, heck I honestly looked like a teenage Dante with black hair that had reddish tips on the end. But that isn't what caused my outburst. Remember how Ozpin got all interested after seeing my eyes and I told the person writing this damn thing not to make them Grimm-like?

Well he or she listened too fucking well, here I was staring into my new eyes.

My silver eyes...

'Okay motherfucker... I just have several things to say... One is fuck you. Two, there better not be a reveal that I'm related to Ruby or Summer somehow. That ain't gonna fucking fly! Three and this one is big. Remember how I said that I wanted people to like me? Well now you just did one of the biggest cliches possible. Anyone who read this for any reason is probably clicking off and leaving by now. Fucking idiot.'

'On second thought. Go ahead and make me related to Ruby and Summer somehow. Just don't fuck up the canon too much. If I'm gonna be stuck in a cliche ridden fanfic, I may as well. I mean I did say I didn't want to date Ruby, being related would be a sure fire way to prevent that. Oh and that would technically make me related to Yang, Taiyong and Qrow by extension right? Maybe?'

'Heck, here I am talking about this shit and I don't even have any assurances that that's what you're planning on doing. I could be related to Cinder for all I know...'

'God I hope I'm not related to Cinder.'

My mini freakout now over, I move into the hotel shower. A hot shower sounds nice...

LINEBREAK

'You better not have written about me in there. I would rather not have a detailed account of me cleaning myself out for public viewing, especially since I feel like a stranger in the wrong body...'

Heading back into the hotels main room, In am surprised to see my clothes already clean and folded on the bed. 'Holy shit, Remnant washing machines are better than Earth ones apparently! Or were they cleaned by a semblance?' I feel myself snicker. 'What kind crappy semblance would that be?! Fear me Grimm! For I am Toby the Washing Machine!'

Dressing myself back into the shirt and pants, I yawn and stretch. This action is soon followed by me collapsing on the bed, back first. Staring at the ceiling, my thoughts run free and I am once again presented with a single thought.

'I'm in the world of RWBY... And my family is nowhere to be found...'

'Hey writer? Am I dead back home? Does my family know I'm gone? Do they miss me?'

'I guess I really didn't expect a response...'

'Mom? Sis? Grandma? Matt? If you four are reading this, just know that I'm okay and I miss you already. I would say that I'm extremely sad but... I'm not. I'm sad I may never see you again sure, but I never felt like I belonged back home. I hated it honestly... So I'm gonna do my damnedest to create a life here. I promise, I will try to become a man you can all be proud of... Even if I am 16 again... I'll just consider it a fresh start.'

'And hey Author? I don't know what kind of tale your spinning, but please give it a happy ending. Hell, even if you don't, I'll fucking MAKE it a happy ending...'

Just before I shut my eyes and prepared to sleep, one last thought needed to be free.

'Mom? Sis? Grandma? Matt? I love you guys. Goodbye...'

Chapter One End