Something's Fishy - a Spongebob Squarepants fanfiction.
A/N: To AtomicFlounder, who wrote a critical but accurate review on my previous story: You're absolutely right, and even through i dunno which loose end i didn't took in mind in that previous fanfiction, your review helped me improve, i hope you like this one more than the previous one, and i also mean that to the other readers. Enjoy!
And for Dreamer, gonna follow your writing style and try to go through the commitment of giving y'all a story divided in chapters, but don't expect me to update frequently, since… I do have a life, like all of you xD
Well, enjoy!
Ah, another day at Bikini Bottom, where-
"For atheism's sake, told you top ut a sock on it!"
Fisher, AKA Andre, was running as fast as he could after hastily getting off the bus, remembering he forgot his stuff. Upon running various miles, he finally arrived at Sandy's treedome. André then knocked the door.
"Jenny, you're there? JENNY! I WANT MY STUFF BACK!"
"Pssch, your ex left you?"
Andre stopped knocking and then turned at his back, facing Harold the shark-like fish "Wha?"
"It's okay, bro, it's pretty normal… for a loser like you and me" were his words before he walked away with a sad expression on his face.
André looked at him for a second before turning back at the door, shaking his head "I must get out of this looney place before I snap" he muttered as he slammed his face through the gear-like handle of the door "Waitaminute, Jenny never leaves his Treedome's door closed!" he quickly realized, then immediately opened the door, entered, closed it behind him and pressed the red 'DRAIN' button, upon draining the entrance, André quickly opened the door and entered the treedome "That was easy!" he smiled "Wait… TOO EASY!" he gasped.
"INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!" an alarm sounded accompanied by flashing lights.
An acorn shaped raygun then popped out of the floor and immediately aimed at André.
"This is new!" André's eyes widened "But I will try to use my charisma to work my way out!" he slammed his fist against his palm, took a breath, looked at the raygun, then suddenly smiled at it while pointing his fingers at him, Fallout 4's Vault-Boy style.
There was a brief silence.
"INTRUDER MUST LEAVE BEFORE HE/SHE IS VAPORIZED!"
"Oh crap…"
Meanwhile…
Sandy and Spongebob were some meters away, walking together, hand-in-hand.
"You won this time by mere luck, and cuz I just let myself go" Spongfebob smirked at Sandy.
"Yeah sure,. Say whatever you want, Nobbish-pants, you'll never win me, not even if you happened to only learn the kempo pose from André and nothing more" Sandy chuckled, then looked that, at a distance, there was a bright light flashing from the treedome "OH SHOOT!"
"What is it, Sandy" Spongebob asked, concerned.
"Spongebob!" she then aimed at the treedome.
Spongebob squinted his eyes to have a better look"Ooooh, flashy!" he chirped excitedly, but Sandy quickly slapped him "OW!"
"Someone's messin' around my house, and we both know what id does mean!" Sandy growled.
"Uh… I don't"
"Spongebob, sometimes you're as dumb as donkey on a rodeo" Sandy facepalmed.
"What does that mean?"
"I'll tell y'all later, come on!"
Said that, Sandy quickly grabbed Spongebob's arm and ran as fast as she could towards her house.
Back at the Treedome…
"Look dude, I dunno who you mistake me with, but I seriously didn't stole the World Cup in '86!"
"INTRUDER HAS 5 SECONDS TO LEAVE BEFORE BEING VAPORIZED!"
"But I didn't told the Premier, I swear!"
"5… 4… 3… 2… 1…"
"DEFENSIVE SYSTEMS OFFLINE! PASSCODE: RANDY!"
"Identity confirmed, welcome back, Sandy!" the raygun turret then popped back in to the ground and the alarm stopped.
"Huh?" André then looked at his back, facing Sandy, who was in an akimbo and tapping her foot, but having a smirk.
"Well well well, if it isn't Andre"
"Jenny, I can explain, I was just…"
He was interrupted by Sandy quickly hugging him.
"Fisher! I thought you were leaving?" Spongebob asked as he was putting on his water helmet.
"Yeah… I just wanted my stuff back"
"I am so glad to see you again" Sandy smiled as she broke off the hug, but then glared at him "But y'all gotta learn to not to enter people's houses without warning"
"As I said, I wanted my stuff back"
"Oh heck, you're talking like we were in a relationship and I dumped ya"
"No, YOU and Robbie are actually in one"
"Speaking about that…" Sandy smiled "I gotta break some news with you"
"As long if it isn't bones" André cackled.
Sandy then giggled, then rose up her left hand at his chest level, showing that she had a golden ring with a diamond on it. André immediately gasped.
"Spongebob… you…?"
"That's right!" Spongebob smiled "We're getting married!" he cheered.
"Well, congratulations for you two" André smiled "Wait, where did you got that expensive ring?"
"Ah, it was nothing" Spongebob chuckled with a proud expression on his face "Gary had a small diamond he collected back when it was a piece of coal, and the golden ring was from most of my trophies, all I had to do is to melt them with the help of the town's blacksmith and put the diamond on it, and… BAM!"
"That's nice!"
"Yeah, and I want you to be on it, we immediately decided to invite you after Spongebob proposed to me"
"That's fine, but… I can't"
"What?!" Spongebob gasped as Sandy then frowned.
"See, everything is beautiful, but… I just can't" André frowned.
"Tell me just ONE reason at least" Sandy nearly had tears on her eyes.
"I just can't, I mean… a squirrel on a wedding of a sea sponge and another squirrel? Might give some bad ideas from the perspective of almost everyone"
"Oh, come on, Andre" Spongebob chuckled "Almost everyone in Bikini Bottom knew that Sandy and I were meant to marry at some point!"
"You swear that to me? IF yes, then I'll agree then"
"André, I SWEAR to you that it is true" Spongebob quickly changed his face expression to a serious one, something he never did before.
"A'ight" André nodded "I'll go as far as this doesn't give any bad impression"
"Oh, thank you!" Sandy hugged André again.
André blushed for a second, then gently patted Sandy on her back "In character, remember?" he chuckled
"Huh?" Sandy stared at him inquisitively.
"Nothing" he laughed as he gently nudged her away from him "I'm happy for both of you, and I wish you two a very happy life together"
"Well thank you!" Spongebob smiled "By the way Andy, do you know where are you gonna live for these days until the wedding comes and you leave?"
"No, and I don't need it, I am a globetrotter, remember?" André chuckled "I can somehow con my way out of it, I can cheat and grab a few days on a hotel or something"
"That's bad"
"I know"
"Well, I can lend you some money for the time being, I mean, I don't expect you to give me back since you're the indirect reason we're now engaged" Spongebob smiled as he drew out from his Texas-themed wallet, a bunch of clam dollars and then walked towards André and handed them to him.
André turned away in shame and gently nudged his hand away "Spongebob, no, i…"
"André"
André's eyes then met with his, as he saw his 'pleading face', a smile with saddened eyes.
"I really thank you for what you did to me, I mean, to us, and please accept this as yours"
Spongebob then grabbed André's hand, placed the dollar bills on it and closed it..
After some hesitation, André sighed.
"A'ight, but that's the only, got it?"
"As a cowboy on a May Rodeo" Spongebob mimicked his new fiancée's chattering.
"Okay" André sighed, then turned away, but quickly turned back "By the way, Jenny…" he walked towards her "If I am not mistaken, I do believe that upon entering, I faced a security system SIMILAR to certain blueprints I had on my backpack" he added "By any chance, did you took them?"
Sandy then blushed as she looked away and gently rubbed her arm with her hand "Well"
"I KNEW IT, YOU DID IT!"
Both Spongebob and Sandy couldn't believe their friend's sudden reaction. André, quickly realizing he snapped in front of them, quickly calmed down "Oh, sorry, it's just that… I don't like it when people touch my stuff" he sighed "Specially my technology"
"Well…" Sandy sighed "It was there to see, and y'all know that I'm a scientist, so why not… just peeking for a bit?"
"I know, but…" he replied "It's just that you're not ready for it"
"What do you mean?" Sandy glared at him with an akimbo.
"It' just that… this tech is not meant for just anyone"
"And what does THAT exactly mean?" Sandy was still in the same position, patting her feet.
"Nevermind" André sighed "By the way, congratulations to you two" he then turned away "Yadda yadda yadda, I'll just take my stuff and leave" he muttered as he walked towards his luggage and picked it up "I'll be somewhere else, you've got my numba, so call me when you're gonna do the wedding"
"It's gonna be today!"
"Ze what?"
"Yeah, Spongebob and I prepared everything in just a moment, it's gonna be tonight on the same church studio we've previously used to do that horrible play" Spongebob explained "You're invited, Patrick's gonna be the best man, by the way"
"Oh" André nodded "Well… we're in touch then, see ya!"
As Andre walked towards the door, he felt a hand on his back. After he turned back, he saw Sandy, smiling at him "Wha…" but he was interrupted by a hug.
"Thank you, for everything"
"It was a privilege" Andre chuckled as the broke off from the hug "Now be nice to each other, live together, have a family and don't mess it up´"
"Gotcha, squirrely squirrel!" Spongebob cheered, saluting at him.
"Can't believe you" Andre cackled as he then walked again towards the door and left the Treedome.
While wandering the streets for a while, André was eyeing the bunch of clam dollar bills Spongebob just gave to him. Money was no object for a commie, but he accepted it anyways since it was given as a thank you gift. Suddenly, he felt something touching the back of his neck.
"Don't turn around, hands in the air" a rough, crispy voice muttered.
André wasn't precisely stupid, he felt that when mugged, a best chance was to comply, and that's what he did.
"Don't try anything stupid or else I'll make a hole in your pathetic mammal neck" the voice whispered "Now hand over that bunch of munny, crouch down to your knees and put your hands on your neck"
"This was a gift, so fuck off"
"You asked for it, weirdo"
But Andre suddenly realized something: On the back of his neck, he was feeling something not precisely pointy as the cannon of a weapon. And plus, what kind of powder-based weapon would be under water?
"WAIT A MINUTE!"
André quickly turned around and realized that the whole time, he was being menaced by a tall, muscular fish wearing dirty shoes, blue jeans, a white sleeveless shirt, a black ski mask, had a tattoo on his right arm that said 'Fearless lives forever' And was holding a plunger. Yeah, a effin' plunder!
"You're telling me… you're actually mugging people… WITH A FUCKING PLUNGER?!"
Andre furiously and quickly snatched the plunger away from the thug-like fish and effortlessly snapped it into two halves before tossing it away.
"Please, don't hurt me!" the thug-like fish's voice quickly changed into a nerdy one "I was just getting money for my family!" he then took a few steps at his side and pointed at his back, showing a pink female fish wearing a bikini and holding a baby on her arms.
"You've got… to be kidding me!"
"Please, I am so sorry for doing it, but we're gonna be evicted if we don't pay out rent soon!"
"It's okay, honey" the female fish, now known as the thug-like fish's wife, sighed "I guess we're gonna live on the streets for now" she muttered as her baby started crying "There there, little Timmy" she rocked her baby while looking at him as his husband walked towards the two, tearing.
André briefly looked at the saddened family before taking a look at his money. He knew that this was gonna happen anytime soon. After a sigh, he looked at the muscular fish "Partner, this money was a gift from someone as I told you, and the one who gave it to me told me to use it to get a hotel room" he explained "But I guess that it is not fair, so I've decided to give it to you"
The fish's eyes then opened wide and looked at André "R-really?!"
"Yeah, well, I guess that helping helps" André chuckled "I give you this money and I do get rid of it and just make-do" he laughed as he walked towards the family guy and handed the money to him.
"Oh thank you sir, thank you very much!" the female fish fish grinned as his husband accepted the money "I just hope our landlord is as good as you!"
"Hey, poor people has more privileges than rich scum" André laughed, but he then suddenly found himself being hugged by the muscular fish, in a big, thight hug.
"I wish there can be some way to repay you!"
"Letting… me… LIVE!" André grunted as he was getting squashed.
The fish suddenly realized the circumstances and broke away from the hug "Oh, so sorry!"
"It's fine" André cleared the dust off him "Now scram before a cop comes, will ya?" he added "Or else a copper is gonna come and arrest ya"
"Yes sir, thank you very much!"
And with that said, the happy family turned away and walked off happily, feeling lucky.
"Some monsters from the past just come to haunt you" André muttered to himself "Goodness, poverty is even in here" he said as he walked off
Meanwhile…
Spongebob and Sandy were on the Treedome, sitting on the picnic table, with some scissors and colored papers.
"This should do it fine for the invitations, Spongebob" Sandy smiled as she finished up cutting a violet card in a rectangular shape with something written on it, then put it on the side, along with others of the same shape.
"And I am getting ready to send them to all of our friends!" Spongebob cheered as he was wearing a mailman uniform, complete with his hat "Neither snow nor rain will stop me from giving this… uh… rein?"
Sandy then giggled while blushing a bit "Oh Spongy, you don't have to be funny all the times, you know?" she smiled
"Really?" Spongebob quickly rose an eyebrow
"Yeah, just be yourself, that's that" she laughed "By the way, mind if I ask Mr. Krabs to do the catering? I'd be sure as heck to include Krabby Patties on the menu, y'know"
"Anything for my sugar plumpy" Spongebob smiled as he quickly hugged Sandy, making her blush.
"Hey, save it for tha weddin' night, eh?" she smirked "Cuz there's gonna be one"
"Oh, I get it!"
"Now go! We need to do this before the sunset, or else the wedding will be ruined as an injured bull in rodeo night"
"Gotcha!" Spongebob saluted as he then dashed towards the Treedome's entrance.
As Sandy looked his soon-to-be husband, she felt like she was the luckiest woman in all Bikini Bottom, finally accomplishing the wish they both had… but hid during their entire friendship lives. This was gonna be the perfect night, and all she had to do is say…
"I do" she smiled.
Well, that's that for now, folks, tune in for the next part!
