HELLO MY PRECIOUS PEOPLE OF FANFICTION!

Yes, it is I, I have slightly returned. Celebrated my birthday, it was awesome, Dakota got me a kimono, went on that date, thought we had a thing, broke up, whatever, realized all my friends are ass-holes. Other then all that, life's been good to me. Derp. So to welcome myself back into Fanfiction, I'm going to make a little crack scene. Enjoy.

His hand froze above the door, not moving a single inch lower to knock. His face was as pale as snow, cobalt eyes hard as the ore itself. Yet, he had to do this. Not just for his family, Tadase, even his sister. For Amu as well.

Speaking of the little aging pervert, he hadn't seen her in a while…

He smiled and without even realizing it, the door opened, the old man himself attempting to walk out.

His smile was off his face in seconds as he glanced up into those dark brown orbs, peering at him with a sickening amusement.

"Is there something you needed Ikuto?" He asked. Everything was frozen, the workers silenced their typing, secretaries stopped speaking, managers and designers stared at the two men as they had a silent war.

"We need to speak old man." He all but whispered, slithering into the chilling room and standing in front of the desk. The only way he knew he'd get to speak was the closing door and the light clicks and clacks emitting from his shoes. He sat there, staring straight into his eyes.

"What?"

"We need to speak about our deal… I refuse to be a part of this any longer." The old man stared at his step-son wearily.

"You will do as I say, you will retrieve the Embryo. Do you understand me? I will not stand for this rebellion!" Midnight bored into coffee, again, a silent war between the two until he finally broke the silence.

"Watch me." He walked to the door, a stride of confidence and slight elation in his step. He could practically hear Yoru's cheers and yelps of glee, that is, until his hand rested on the door.

"Are you sure about that, Ikuto? I still hold the item… That you seek…" His eyes grew wide, puzzling Yoru.

"What does he mean~nyah?" He remained still, his head suddenly jerked back, eyes wide.

"You… You wouldn't…" Yet as he continued to stare, he saw his lips curl into a viciously cruel smirk.

"You know I would, the thing that means the most to you…"

"You don't mean-"

"Oh but I do…" Yoru stared towards his chara-barrier.

"What does he mean~nyah!?" "Hush Yoru!" He hissed. He coughed to cover his words, receiving a cocked eyebrow from his step-father.

"All you have to do is cooperate Ikuto, and it'll remain…"

His hands slammed on the desk, eyes ablaze. "Never… You'll never get the Embryo, never beat the Guardians. The good guys always prevail!" The man threw back his head, laughing.

"You've been watching Twilight?" His smirked crawled back onto his face, teeth shining. His son however, remained stoic. Emotionless.

"They will never win, not if I have…" He got up, moving towards the fridge, slowly pulling out an object.

"Not if I have THIS!" Azure eyes widened, staring at the object.

"No!" He fell to his knees, tears forming. "I'm sorry, just please… Give it to me…" Kazuomi kneeled down, a cruel grin.

"As you wish, however… You know what I want…" Ikuto stared up, a nod, and gripped the object.

"And that is what happened." He mumbled as Yaya pulled more on the tied rope around his body.

"Well, what was the object?" Amu questioned, a cocked eyebrow.

"Errr…" He averted his gaze to the ground.

"Well?" Nagihiko piped up.

"It was milk wasn't it." Rima mused, a snarky grin on her lips.

"IT WAS TWO PERCENT!"

Tadase rolled his eyes. "How big?"

He stared at the ground still, mumbling his answer. "A carton…"

"A CARTON?"

"We couldn't help it~nyah!"

Tadase finally grinned as Kiseki flew away, his own smile on his place as he flew to the other charas.

"How about a deal Ikuto?" That caught his attention. "We'll get you a carton of milk as well." He rolled his eyes.

"Please, I'm faithful. Forever loyal. You will never force me to betray my family, the people I love. I HAVE DIGNIT-"

"We'll throw in two cartons and an Amu." Rima injected.

"YOU'LL WHAT?!" Said girl screamed, her face turning red licorice.

His eyes glanced hungrily up and down her body, picturing all the things they could do.

"Three…?" Rima didn't even miss a beat.

"Done."

"You forever have my loyalty."

"And that's what happened." Kazuomi rested his eyes on his 'son'. He stood up and leaned against the front of his desk.

"What do you want?" Ikuto scoffed.

"There's nothing you can give me." He shrugged. Kazuomi raised an eyebrow.

"Oh?"

"Indeed. Sure, you can give me all the milk I want, all the milk I wish, but there's one thing you can't get me." He opened the door out of the office.

"What's that?" He glanced over, determination written on his face.

"My brand of strawberries." He winked and walked out the door.

Done. Slight Amuto, was cute. And TOTALLY CRACK! I needed a laugh. I'll return to the drama stuff soon. Ja'ne my loves!

Remember, R&R!

PS: This is a one-shot. If you want to follow me, follow the author. If you want to favorite me, favorite the author. Do not attempt to follow this story. Seriously. Just don't.