This is my first FFN and I do not own Criminal Minds or its Characters. This is the beginning of a series of drabbles pertaining to Emily Prentiss (thoughts and feelings), ultimately leading to several long chapter series. Thank you for reading and I hope that you enjoy!

THOUGHTS FROM LONDON

Looking off into the night London skyline from my balcony enjoying all that my high rise loft has to offer, I ponder off into the recesses of my mind just like so many other nights since I moved back. Even though I have been here for what seems like forever in my mind I have to agree with everything I have been through leading to this point & place in my life had a rhyme or reason. If you had told me 14 months ago that I would be a successful "INTERPOL POWERESS" …..I probably would have laughed at the mere assumption, but here I am having the time of my life! Maybe "time of my life" was a little exaggerated, but still kind of true. I am home every night in my own bed, & I even get to enjoy my weekends off, which let's face it I was not able to do that the 6 years prior to that with the BAU. Oh, wait I guess I should say 5 years & 5 months, considering my 7 months of lonely hell here in London being a ghost to the world, pretending that I & Lauren never existed. Although that seems a lifetime ago, in fact it has only been…OMG I guess it has been 2 years since I made my way back from the dead! Funny how time just seems to slip away, even when you are having the time of your life! Lord do I ever sound rhetorically smug as I let those thoughts emerge from my very un-compartmentalized brain at this moment.

The breeze from the storm I feel rolling in & the sweet smell of rain that is sure to come makes me remember a night not so long ago when you held me ever so tightly in your arms dancing the night away. (Laughing shyly at the memory)….even though we had touched so many times before, but that night was different almost magical some would say! Even though it ended so quickly, & I ran off again to London again away from you, "OH WAIT"….I mean the team just after everyone had just gotten me back from my hell of being a ghost…..It almost seemed bittersweet ALMOST! God how I wish my mind would quit with the "YOU's"….that word keeps trying to make something out of something else that was only a lifetime ago or maybe a glimmering spark that quickly fizzled out knowing the consequences of that game.

I realized when I left the 2 of you that day in Dulles international Airport tarmac things where never going to be the same again. I cried that whole day knowing the end (after the Olympics in September 2012) had just begun…..silly girl I think to myself & wonder why I do this to myself….why do I let myself even think of those wasted years of not seeing what was really happening between all of us and especially between us….. (With a silent sigh of disgust & a misty eye) But then again (chuckling) there never was an "US"…..! My over imaginative being read into those last few moments or should I say last few months before I returned to London, only to find something I never knew waiting for me.

I feel the slight little chill run through me as the soft crystal like raindrops fall upon my distraught face bringing me back to the present time of having the time of my life (smugly shaking her head), however I know every time I come out here I only bring sadness to my weary heart. I grab my half empty bottle of merlot & head into what I hope will be another night of slumber without you visiting my unconscious mind…. (She takes a deep breath and sighs ever so calmly)! I know my heart will take on another peril after my brain stops functioning when I finish this bottle, but whatever it takes to make it through the night just so I do not have to dream of my so called "DEMONS"…Yeah I classify you as one of my many demons, just like how Doyle creeps in my recesses once in a "Blue Moon", however you seem to set up camp their & make roots there every moment of everyday. I know I am a foolish woman to have ever thought I could play this game again…I thought I had my mask on along with my armor when I came back from hell, but apparently you lose that when you come back from being a "GHOST"…or maybe when you are just fooling yourself you are having the time of your life!

THE END