Girls gone Mild
A.N.: This is a work of fanfiction. Any resemblance to real Norse Gods, Super Heroes, or their significant others is unintentional. Thank you.A bottle of Dom Perignon White Gold Jeroboam limited edition champagne will set you back $40,000.
There's a naked God on the sofa
A limo pulled up in front of Tony Stark's Malibu mansion and three women crawled out, with more or less grace. It had been a three martini ride. Pepper Potts managed to find her feet, and helped Jane Foster and Natasha Romanoff towards the door. The driver followed with their luggage. They were having a girl's weekend - no genius billionaire playboy philanthropists or Norse thunder Gods with really big hammers, scientists with anger management problems or archers invited. Pepper unlocked the front door, walked inside and came to an abrupt halt. Jane couldn't stop in time and bumped into her. Natasha stepped gracefully to the side as their driver dropped the bags onto the floor.
"Oh. My. God."
"Bozhe moi."
"You've gotta be kidding me." Pepper said, seeing the karaoke machine that was set up in one corner of the room. "Oh, and can I add an Oh My God to Jane's please."
"Forget the tip, just give me his number."
Lying sprawled on his back on one of the leather sofas, was a naked Norse God of Mischief. Asleep or possibly passed out. There was an empty bottle of Dom Perignon White Gold Jeroboam lying on the floor next to the sofa, so Pepper figured passed out was most likely.
"I don't think we can call Loki Thor's 'little' brother any more." Jane managed to say. Natasha nodded in agreement.
Pepper, ever cool and collected, was going through her mental list of current and past boyfriends and comparing physical characteristics. It wasn't even close. She tipped the limo driver and pushed him out the door.
Jane walked over and picked up her bag, reached inside and retrieved her digital camera. She took several shots, from different angles. "These are going on my Facebook page. I'll make the album public, because this should be shared with everyone. God, I sound like Darcy."
A moan came from the sofa, and then there was a languid, sensual stretch. Jane got pictures of that as well. Two very green eyes opened and tried to focus. "Hello?"
"Hello." Pepper answered, as Loki managed to sit up. He blinked at her a few times, then rose unsteadily to his feet and headed towards the doors that opened out to the pool. Pepper looked at Jane and Natasha, and they followed him.
Loki managed to get into the pool without falling. He was proud of that. "Would one of you be so kind as to bring me a large glass of cold water." Pepper did the honors, she was sort of the unofficial hostess, and they watched while Loki poured the water over his head. "Another?" Four glasses later, Loki was feeling a bit more himself. "I can't help but notice your fixation with my nether regions. What can I say? I am Loki, of Asgard, and I am burdened with a glorious penis." He laughed. "Any questions?"
"You've cut your hair." Jane offered. "I like it."
"An observation, not a question. And one that is irrelevant, since I do not care about what you think of my appearance. But I did sit through tedious hours of etiquette instruction as a child, and the non-optional social convention would indicate that I should thank you for the compliment. So thank you."
"Ok, I'll bite.' Pepper said. "But keep the snarky sarcasm to a minimum, please. If I wanted snark, I'd have invited Tony. Why are you here?"
"I like this place a great deal, and I may make it my permanent base when I am in Midgard. I am sorry about the mess last time. Dionysus crashed my little soirée. And yes, the Greek Gods exist as well. Aphrodite has been trying to get me into bed with her since I entered puberty. But, I digress. The-All-Father has lifted my restrictions and I am free to travel when and where I wish. With Heimdall's ever watchful eye upon me, of course."
"Of course." Pepper crossed her arms. "How long will we be graced with your charming presence?"
"Until I'm ready to leave, of course." Loki made a tsking sound. "I was going to grill in a bit, if that makes my presence more tolerable for you. Prawns and vegetable kebabs, both with my own special marinades. I made a cheesecake yesterday and there is still some left over."
"Tony doesn't have a grill."
"He does now. A Firemagic Aurora series propane grill, to be exact. It's quite nice. A gift from Director Fury." Loki smirked.
Natasha raised a hand. "Is your cheesecake as good as your cookies?"
"Better."
Natasha looked over at Pepper. "He stays. We need that cheesecake and we can't take a chance that Loki would take it with him if he left."
Loki snorted. "As if you could force me to leave. I do what I want, remember."
Natasha, Pepper and Jane rolled their eyes as one and went back inside the mansion. They grabbed their respective bags and went to pick out rooms. Loki had already claimed the master suite, of course. A quick change into bathing suits and they were back out by the pool. Loki was nowhere to be seen.
"If he changed his mind and went somewhere else, he'd better have left us some cheescake." said Natasha, eyes narrowed.
They had been in the pool perhaps twenty minutes when Loki reappeared. He was now dressed in a pair of loose fitting black cotton pants that hung dangerously low on his hips and a ribbed green tank top. He glanced at the suits and raised an eyebrow.
"I find your modesty rather quaint." He shook his head bemusedly. "I decided the dinner required a Vouvray, and though Stark seems to have every distilled beverage known to humanity here, his wine selection is sadly lacking." Loki stood there looking thoughtfully at the grill for a moment, then he was gone again. He returned a few minutes later with a folding table. "I needed a place to set the food and marinades."
"Isn't that one of Tony's lab tables?" Pepper asked, noticing the table had 'Tony's Stuff' written on it in bold red letters.
Loki shrugged. "I was reasonably careful when I moved the metal monstrosity sitting upon it. I don't think I damaged it. Well, not much."
(Meanwhile, in Stark Tower, Tony was yelling and promising to kill Thor's little brother)
Loki poured a glass of wine for each of the women and one for himself, then he brought out the shrimp, the vegetable kebabs, and started making culinary magic.
Pepper took a sip of her wine. "That smells wonderful, Loki. But this is supposed to be a girl's only weekend. Not to be rude, but could you..."
"I can change into a female form, but this gathering sounds dreadfully dull, so I think I'll pass. Besides, I have places to go, mischief to make, that sort of thing. I will say my goodbyes after dinner. I love cheesecake and it doesn't teleport very well."
No tables had survived Loki's last visit, and he hadn't replaced them, but everyone made do; by balancing plates on laps, or getting back into the pool and setting them on the edge. Food was consumed and the chef thanked. Then it was time for dessert. Loki brought out the cheesecake and it was 'cut what you want.'
"Oh. My. God. This is better than sex with your brother and I didn't just say that."
Loki laughed. "I will be sure and mention that to Thor."
Pepper closed her eyes in bliss. "Can you have an orgasm just from eating cheesecake?"
"Yes." Natasha answered. "Yes you can. You should have used this instead of the Chitauri, Loki. You might have won."
"You are most gracious." He nodded in acknowledgement. He finished his piece of cheesecake, then he was gone. He left them the mess. Of course.
Pepper waved at the empty place formerly occupied by the Norse God of Mischief. "Well, girl friends, as far a nightlife goes in Malibu, they don't have any. So, unless you want to take a cab to L.A. or Santa Monica, we'll have to create our own party."
"Well, we have plenty of alcohol and the karaoke machine. It's a start."
tbc...
