Yeah, I know, I've got other fics-but, this will only be around five to six chapters.
Disclaimer: I do not own BTR
James' POV
Kendall and I were beginning to get... a bit worried. Logan had left with Carlos this morning to drive him to an audition for a new TV show. Recently Carlos was getting the acting bug and tried out for varying commercials, but this was the first actual role he'd be going for. I would've gone with Carlos except for the fact I can't drive yet because I haven't had time to take my driver's test. Before they left, Logan had said they'd be back around noon but it was around three pm now.
"You don't think they were kidnapped do you?" Kendall blurts out, breaking the silence of our pacing back and forth through 2J. He sounds frantic, and I'm about to tease him for not being that collected leader we all know him as, but think better of it.
"What? No; that's worse case-scenario, they're probably stuck in traffic," I conclude dismissively.
"Yeah, but we've already called them both and neither have picked up."
I shrug and point out, "Their phones might've died."
Kendall crosses his arms over his chest. "Logan could've charged his phone, he's got a car charger."
"He could've forgotten it," I argue. Kendall opens his mouth to counter against me again, but no words come out. Instead he shoulders past me. "Where are you going?" I demand
"To find someone who actually cares what happens to our boyfriends!" Kendall spat, and then the door is slamming shut. Standing here alone, I feel awkward. I'm doing…Nothing. Yeah. Kendall always comes up with a great problem-solving scheme, why should I feel all guilty when it's clearly Kendall's place to fix things.
Feeling satisfied with the decision I've come to, I stroll into mine and Carlos' shared room to find my lucky comb. We need to seriously clean up in here but what time do we have between working at Rocque Records, chilling out by the pool, playing hockey...yeah, our schedule's booked for pretty much the rest of our lives.
On my side of the room I can't find my lucky comb so I search Carlos' side. Amongst the mess, I find a folded piece of paper. Curious, I plop down on the mattress and open the paper. I recognize the barley legible writing to be that of Carlos' and it takes a lot of effort to make out what he's written:
"Entire Comedy Island"
Auditioning for: Tyler Jacobs. Ah-he's like me. In a sense. He's energetic, not the sharpest tool in the shed.
I've got this! At least, I think I have. Audition's tomorrow and I guess I'm nervous. James can't be there, which...I'm upset about, but Logan will be there so I won't have to be too alone. So I've been told writing relieves stress by Buddha Bob and...surprisingly, it's helping. Well, I hear James coming, so I'm going to put this away now.
It's short. But, suddenly the guilt is eating me alive. I knew Carlos was nervous, but I didn't know he was stressing this much. Maybe Kendall's right. I've gotta care more...I put my search on hold and go out to the lobby where I find Kendall sitting at one of the tables with Camille and Lucy across from him.
I press my back against the wall so they can't see me. I hear Lucy say, "...I know you care about Logan, and Carlos is your best friend; but, you may be overreacting."
"They're about two hours late though," Kendall presses.
"Kendall, you're usually the one to keep it together, is something going on with you?" Camille accuses suddenly.
"No..." he murmurs. I peak my head out from around the corner to see Kendall shift uncomfortably.
Lucy adds to Camille's interrogation, "You are acting strangely out of character, did you and Logan have an argument or something?"
I stiffen and peer over at my friends again. Kendall is silent for the longest of moments. "We might've snapped at each other a little," Kendall admits after a minute.
"Uh, huh," Camille grumbles, "What else was there to it?"
"Nothing, it was just an argument over who was getting the first shower," my blond friend answers and I can practically hear the smirk.
"Don't be so smug," Lucy says, "We can tell you're lying."
"I'm not...I'm not lying," Kendall says, although the confidence is instantly drained from his ton.
"James, what are you doing?"
I hold back a squeal when I jump at Katie's voice. I turn and look down at her. "Don't do that!" I hiss under my breath.
"Why don't you just go up and talk with them?" Katie inquires.
I roll my eyes. "I will," I say.
"Really? Because it looks like you're spying on them."
"I'm not spying on them!"
There's the faint sound of chairs moving along with foot steps and then... "James?" Camille says. This time I scream out loud and leap up again. Camille has one hand resting on her hip, Lucy is leaning against the wall with an amused look on her face, and Kendall is next to Camille staring down at the carpet.
Feeling pressured with the girls' gazes burning into me, I sigh, "Kendall made me feel bad for not caring about Logan and Carlos enough, so I came down here but it seemed like a bad time to intervene...Now stop making me feel so uncomfortable!"
Lucy and Camille exchanged a glance. "Whatever," Lucy murmurs. She looks to Kendall and in a startlingly gentle voice, she asks, "What did you and Logan fight over though?"
Kendall frowns and I think, for a moment, that he'll make some snarky comment then storm away; but he says with a misery etched voice, "He was tired of not being able to...you know come out as my boyfriend to the public. Believe me, I wanted to, but Gustavo and Griffin said it'd kill the business. I was trying to make that okay...But...Logan accused me of still loving Jo." When I glance at Kendall his expression is unreadable. He continues, "It...It hurt me to hear him say that, but I shouldn't of said what I did and now he's not coming back."
Katie raises an eyebrow. "What did you say?"
"I told him..." Kendall takes in a shakey breath and exhales. "I told him it would be easier to be with a girl instead of a loser like him."
I want to be behind Kendall. I want to comfort him, but I can't. "Kendall," I sigh, "You know how easily offended Logan gets."
"Yeah," mumbles Kendall guiltily, "I know I shouldn't have said it, but what if...what if he got a taxi for Carlos so he could stay...wherever, I don't know."
Camille shakes her head. "No, Carlos would've been back by now if Logan did that."
Katie cuts in, "If you're all so concerned, then call the police."
Kendall and I exchange a glance. "We may need to," Kendall says.
I shrug. "What if nothing's wrong though?" I inquire. "Look, I love Carlos, sure; but really you guys? We don't need to get the police involved."
Kendall is hurt, I can tell. He's always been protective and I'm sure this whole situation is tearing him apart. "Fine, I'll give it until tomorrow, but if they're not back..." Kendall says, "Then I'm finding them myself."
"Fair enough," I agree, and I'm sure that'll be the end of it; that Logan and Carlos will return soon and Kendall will stop with the freaking out...everything is going to be a-okay...
Kendall's POV
I didn't tell them the complete truth. I called Logan far worth things than a loser, and there was more to it then saying it would be easier to be with a girl...I told him I'd rather be with a girl. It was a mistake. There wasn't anyone, honestly, I loved more than Logan and the prospect that I could've drivin him to run away...God I'll never forgive myself if it's true.
I'm sitting on the edge of the couch, my knee bouncing up and down impatiently. Nothing would sit in my stomach so I didn't eat dinner which made me starving, but I was distracted by the digital clock which now read: 6:30pm.
"Honey, do you want me to drive out and find them?" Mom asks, coming to stand in front of me.
For a second on want to scream, 'yes!', but James thinks I'm being paranoid, so I want to prove how completely, not paranoid I am. "They'll be back before tomorrow, and I'm sure they will both have a good explanation," I say, more or less convincing myself.
"If you're sure, sweetheart," Mom sighs, walking away.
Everything's alright, everything's alright, everything's alright...
Then why the hell do I not want to let this go. They could be in fatal danger-they could be perfectly fine. Logan could be planning on spending some time away from me-Carlos could be his cover-up.
I ran a hand through my hair and lean back against the bright orange cushions. "This is going to be a long night..."
"God dammit, Carlos!"
I jolt awake at James' voice. It's both infuriated and relieved at the same time, and know all at once that they've returned. I scramble to my feet and hurry over to the door where James is standing with Carlos.
"Kendall," Carlos says when he sees me, "Sorry, it's like...three in the morning or whatever; Logan and I got lunch, but it took forever; then we got caught up in traffic. We would've called but our phones were dead and Logan forgot the charger...oh! And get this, the Big Time Rush mobile got a flat and it had to be towed off-you get the picture."
James smiles at Carlos before turning to me. "See, nothing too, too bad," he says.
I nod, not wanting to hear an 'I-told-you-so' speech at the moment. "Where's Logan?" I question, grabbing Carlos' shoulders and shaking them, "Is he okay? Why isn't he with you?"
Carlos gives me an odd look and glances quickly over to James before saying, "Yeah, um-Logan is on her way up, she wanted to make sure the car was okay after being fixed up."
Oh, okay. Wait... "Did you call Logan a 'she'?" I inquire.
Carlos examines me up and down, incredulously. "Um, duh," says Carlos, "Why did you call her a him?"
"What the heck is going on, is suppose to be a bizarre prank?" I demand. Before Carlos can answer, someone squeezes in next to him in the door frame. It's a girl who looks to be my age. She has straight dark brown hair that stops bellow her shoulders, her skin has a nice suntan to it, a slender body type, and she is about three inches taller than Carlos. What really catches my attention about her is the innocent, though beautiful chocolate brown eyes and...and her outfit: plain white tee, navy blue cardigan, and a khaki colored short-skirt...the familiarity of the clothing was the only thing distracting enough to pull me away from her hauntingly recognizable eyes.
"Alright, so Big Time Rush mobile is okay, we can exhale now," the girl exclaims, "Sorry if Carlos and I had you both worried."
"It's okay," James says as if all of this is normal, "I knew you two weren't in any real trouble, but I swear Kendall was going to have a heart attack."
"Aw, really?" The brunette girl coos mockingly.
"Uh, yeah..." I say awkwardly. This is all getting way too strange. "So, uh, anyone care to tell me what's going on? Am I being punked or something?"
The girl shoots a half smile my way and I swear to god it's his. But it can't be Logan's smile because this girl isn't Logan.
"No, you're not being punked," she laughs softly. Before I know what's happening, she is leaning forward and kissing me softly on the lips for a brief few seconds. When she pulls away, her eyes are gleaming. "I promise I won't worry you again...Now if you'd like to come with me-and I'm sure Carlos shares this opinion- I'm exhausted. I'd love some sleep."
I'm too stunned to say anything, so while the girl glides off to mine and Logan's room, I stand here with my mouth hanging open. Carlos and James are staring at me weirdly, but they seem to shake it off because James says, "C'mon, Carlos let's get to bed, we can talk about your audition tomorrow."
I'm still standing here when they disappear and it takes the brunette girl to walk back out for me to snap out of it. She slips in front of me, now in a white camisole and gray sweatpants. "Why'd you kiss me? Who are you?" I ask her before she says anything.
She laughs again. "Silly, why wouldn't I kiss you? What do you mean, 'who are you?'"
"Where did you come from, where's Logan!" I blurt out bluntly.
"Um, right in front of you?"
And that's when it hits me. It's terrifying and impossible...like Freaky Friday but one hundred times more freakier. "Logan?" I say.
She nods. "Yes..." she says in a teasingly slow way. Should I be excited? Should I be creeped out? Logan grins at me and takes my hand, interlocking our fingers. "C'mon, ya big goofball-to bed."
Logan pulls me into our room and pulls the door so that there is only a crack of an opening. Then she navigates around her own bed and slides into mine. After that she blinks weary eyes at me, waiting. Now, this could very well be a dream. It was late. I fell asleep and was awoken very suddenly so it would only be logical that- aw crap! Now I sound like Logan...
Methodically, I strip down to my boxers, grab a T-shirt from the top of the dresser, and pull it on. Trying not to seem completely freaked out by everything that has happened, I crawl under the covers with this girl who claims to be Logan and supposedly James and Carlos agree with. Logan snuggles into my chest and for a second she even smells like him.
"Um...we're okay, right?" I find myself suddenly asking.
"Mmm, hmm," she murmurs, "Why?"
"No reason." And as almost a reflex I lean down and kiss the top of her head-if this is some messed up dream; might as well play along until I wake up again to my Logan and his anger with me.
Sleep was exactly what I needed. There are momentary fragments that allow me to forget everything and its blissful. I reach forward my arms to wrap them around Logan, but when nothing is there, I open my eyes. He's gone. My gaze shifts to that girl from last night, standing in front of the mirror and brushing her hair.
So...it wasn't a dream.
Haha...
…
Oh my god.
"Hey, you're awake!" Logan exclaims, looking at my reflection in the mirror.
"Y-yeah," I say uneasily, "What-um...what time is it?"
"Eleven o'clock in the morning; I woke up an hour and a half before you," Logan explains, "James and Carlos are still asleep..."- she smirks- "Or, so I think they are, may be wrong. I haven't heard them at least."
I laugh maybe a bit too loudly for someone who's just gotten up. When I'm getting out of bed I notice her outfit is the feminine version of one of male Logan's. She has on a black camisole with a tan half cardigan over it with white short-shorts. Somehow my gaze moves to her legs which are...wow.
"You uh, you look nice," I compliment.
Logan notices where my gaze is and smiles. "Thanks, but you really shouldn't look there even if it is me."
My cheeks flush red. "N-no," I say, "I wasn't-I meant that the shorts showed your legs off well, I wasn't being perverted or anything."
"Okay, offense gone," Logan chirps. Guy Logan didn't find it very flattering when people stared at his ass either...even if I was the one doing the staring.
I shower while Logan heads down to the pool to hang out with the Jenifers- which I considered a point for the sane side because original Logan can't stand the Jenifers. When I finish I go to our room and find my bed made and clothes folded neatly on the surface: Green plaid shirt, pair of fresh boxers, black jeans, and socks. Logan usually did this for me when he was in a good mood.
"You guys planning on doing anything today?" I ask as I walk into the living room, aiming the question towards James and Carlos who are still in sleep wear and playing dome hockey.
"We are doing something," James points out, keeping most of his concentration on the game.
"Yup!" Carlos agrees.
I roll my eyes. "Okay, well if you need me I'll be doing something productive."
With that I head down to the lobby. I want to keep away from Logan for a bit to find out if this is normal for everyone else. The first thing I see when I step out of the elevator is an old Prom King and Queen poster attached to the bulletin that has yet to be taken down. At first I think it'll be Jo an I depicted, but instead it's me and...Logan. But not Logan. It's the girl who...supposedly is Logan? Gah! I'm beginning to get seriously confused and I'm not the type of guy to loose his cool.
I see Jett talking with a few girls from New Town High, and realize: If Logan is a girl, then I probably was with her instead of Jo...so Jett and I shouldn't hate each other, right? I walk over to Jett and tap him on the shoulder. "Hold on a sec, ladies," Jett says to the girls before turning around. His flirtatious grin drops instantly to a hostile frown. "What do you want, Knight?"
Okay, so maybe we still hate each other...not that I care, I mean-the dude's a jerk anyways. "Have you seen Logan?" I ask, casually as if it was what I was planning on saying.
"Is that supposed to be an attempt to rub yours and Logan's relationship in my face?" Jett hisses.
"What?"
Jett snorts, "And you call me the jerk?"He shakes his head. "You know I like Logan, whatever. We had something going then she went back to you. Big whoop, you don't have to go parading around."
Hold on-back it up a bit. Did he just say he likes Logan? And that they had something 'going on'? "When did you and Logan date?" I question.
"There you go again!" Jett spat. "How about you shut up with the snarky sarcasm and leave me to my lady friends."
I raise an eye brow. "Alright..." I say, turning on the heels of my black-and-white Vans to head in the direction of the pool. As I approach Logan who is under one of the cabanas with the Jenifers, one thought runs through my mind:
This is happening, this is happening, this is happening...
"Hey, Ken," Logan says sweetly, getting up she stands on her toes to peck my right cheek. "Do you wanna sit down?" She glances over her shoulder at the Jenifers then back to me. "I was just telling them about how tomorrow, Gustavo was going to have us cover 'Paradise by the Dashboard Light' for the next album."
We're still doing that? I mean-with this strange alteration? I guess it makes sense... "Um, I was actually hoping I could spend some time alone with you," I say, the words spilling from my mouth before I can stop myself.
"Ah..." Logan trails off.
"Go!" The Jenifers all exclaim in unison.
Logan smiles at them. "Thanks, girls," she says, then to me, "Where do you wanna go?"
"How about Palmwoods Park?" I ask. There are enough people there that I can see reactions over Logan.
"Cool," Logan exclaims. She takes my hand and interlocks our fingers. Then I lead us to the park. "So are you excited for the cover?"
"What? Oh. Yeah."
Logan gives me the same odd look that I've been getting a lot by my friends lately. "Are you okay? You seem a bit off."
I glance down at her and behind the feminine features...it's still my Logan. Because of that, I pull on a genuine smile and assure, "I'm okay, I just..." -I think of something that would melt Logan's heart- "I just can't think of what I did to deserve someone as incredible as you."
Logan's pale cheeks glow red. "For real? I'm so...ordinary."
"You aren't," I press.
"But I am," she argues, "I'm the cliché nerd girl who ended up with everyone's favorite jock...It's like I'm a medical obsessed version of Rachel Berry and you're a hockey-playing version of Finn Hudson."
"What's wrong with that?"
Logan shrugs. "They break up and get back together...that's not what I want."
Jo and I broke up and got back together a lot. I never thought it was something so terrible. "Well, I'm not breaking up with you anytime soon, Lo," I confirm, starting to slowly become okay with this...this girl.
Logan releases a breath of relief… "I love you," she sighs, leaning into me.
"I...I love you too," it feels so different to be saying it to someone who appears to be a stranger, but something makes it so right because this person is suppose to be Logan.
Her grin widens and she pauses to wrap her arms around my neck, kissing me in a way that's so comfortingly familiar, I kiss her back. Soon my arms snake around her body, pulling her closer to me. Logan pulls back and presses her forehead against mine. "Thanks," Logan whispers.
"Always," I whisper back and- even if we probably should get a room- I kiss her again. I can't help myself to...touch, kiss, hold her. It's intoxicating, but maybe it's meant to be...maybe the part of me that's attracted to girls needed this and the universe just knew that somehow. Its shallow- I know-but at the moment I can't think of any other explanation. All I can think is that I could definitely get used to this…
Like it? Hate it? Wish I'd just update my other fics (srry!)
