A/N A Jax/Tara story by me? Weird, I know but the idea plopped into my head during Christmas and refused to leave. But I probably will get into more familiar waters as the story goes on *nudge, nudge, wink, wink*. Anyway, this story takes place between seasons 1 and 2 (with Opie being back already). Enjoy.
Tara opened her eyes and for a moment wondered where she was. This was not her room. This was not her bed. And she was not alone either. Then she blinked the last sleep away and everything came back to her. Right, she was at Jax's. They had been back together for a few weeks now but she still hadn't gotten quite used to it. Not many people got back together with their high school sweetheart after more than ten years, especially not if the man in question was the VP of an outlaw MC. It was either really romantic or incredibly stupid. She looked to the other side of the bed and saw Jax lying there. He was turned towards her but his eyes were still closed, his expression unusually peaceful. She felt her heart swell a bit at the sight. If somebody would have asked her a month ago, she would have sworn she was totally over the guy but it seemed like she had been dead wrong about that. She wasn't sure where this would go and knew that there were good reasons against being with Jax but she would see this through. Couldn't be worse than Kohn, right?
As if hearing her thoughts, Jax started to came to. He looked confused for a moment before giving her a bright grin. "Morning, babe."
"Morning."
"You've been staring at me?" Jax asked.
"No," she quickly said in a voice that probably wasn't fooling anyone.
Jax's grin became wider. "Sure you have. Couldn't wait for me to wake up, right?"
"You are not that hot, Jackson Teller."
"That true, hm? How about we put it to the test?" He bent forward and kissed her. She considered making a show but found that she was not in the mood for games and eagerly kissed him back. Jax used this as encouragement to move on top of her, hardly breaking the contact. They were both naked and she could feel his erection pressing into her thigh. She guessed Jax was moving in for a morning quickie which usually wasn't her thing when she had to go to work but she probably could make an exception this one time. Just when two of Jax's fingers started to wander between her legs, a baby's screams pierced the silence. They both tensed immediately, all passion lost. Jax sighed. "He really has to work on his timing."
"Well, babies are not known to improve sex lives," Tara pointed out.
"You think?" Jax said. "I will take care of him."
He got out of bed and walked out of the room, still as naked as they day he was born. It gave Tara a great view of his backside – which was always nice – even if she had her doubts if it was appropriate to take care of your infant son without any clothes on. But it shouldn't really surprise her, Jax had always been pretty open about nudity. She was pretty certain that he and Opie had gone skinny dipping quite often as teenagers – which had been off limits for here even when she had been Jax's girlfriend – so this might be a club thing. Anyway, she should probably get up too. She had to get ready for work and her patients did not wait for her getting cozy with her boyfriend.
She found Jax in the kitchen, feeding Able with a bottle. He sat in a chair and still hadn't put anything on. Now she just had to ask. "Don't you think you should get dressed first?"
He looked at her in surprise. "Why? So he has to wait for his breakfast?"
"Just not sure if he should see you naked," Tara said.
Jax laughed. "He is a few weeks old, I am sure he does not even know what a dick is. Besides, I really doubt it would do him any harm." He looked at her in amusement. "You aren't getting prude on me, are you, Doc?"
"Of course not, I just..." Tara began.
"Hm, doesn't sound too convincing to me. How about you show me? A morning blowjob would be nice."
"I am not blo...doing that while you have your son in your arms!" Tara said, not wanting to use this kind of language in front of a little kid.
"That's okay, he is almost done anyway," Jax said, unfazed. "I will put you back to your bed and then Daddy will get his morning treat," he said to the boy in his arms. "And you will be a good boy and stay quiet, won't you, Abel?"
Abel didn't seem to have any objections but Tara was not sold on the idea. Her morning routine only had that much wiggle room anyway. "I can't Jax, I have to get to work."
Jax actually looked disappointed for a moment. "Yeah, okay. You coming over tonight?"
This was pretty much code for can-I-fuck-you-through-the-mattress-tonight? and she knew what her answer to that was. "I guess. If you make it worth my while."
The SAMCRO VP grinned. "Don't I always, darlin'?"
"Most of the time at least," Tara said. She looked at her watch and saw she was really late. "Shit, I have to get going."
"Nice language in front of the kid," Jax teased. Tara just shook her head and dashed upstairs for a quick shower.
"I will probably come home late tonight," Jax said when she was fully dressed and ready to go to work. He was dressed in jeans and an undershirt by now and was still holding Abel. "Club business."
Tara knew better than to ask what this meant. She guessed she would have to come to term with Jax's career at one point and figure out how much exactly she wanted to get involved. But this was a very hard question and she was not prepared to answer it at this point. "Alright, I will come here after work and relieve Gemma."
"You don't have to do that."
"I want to," Tara said.
He gave her a fond smile. "Thanks, babe. Don't know what I would do without you."
"Hm, you would probably sleep with a different girl every night while Gemma takes care of your kid," she mused.
"Well, that doesn't sound too bad," Jax joked.
"You would miss me after two days," Tara said. She kissed him goodbye. "I have to go. See you tonight."
"Can't wait."
On her way out she noticed some cardboard boxes in the living room that definitely hadn't been there before. "What are those?" she asked Jax.
"Oh, some stuff from storage. Gemma said some of them had more baby shit. I brought them here on Sunday but didn't have to time to look into them yet." He grinned. "I will move the upstairs to the nursery later. If you get bored, you can have a look."
"Very generous of you:"
"Your know me, I am a saint," Jax said, kissing the squirming Abel in his arms.
Tara shook her head and left. Time to go to work.
Despite Jax's best attempts, Tara made it to work on time. She spent a busy day, juggling her different duties and avoiding the disapproving gaze of Margaret Murphy. Maybe Tara was being petty but the administrator's misgivings only strengthened her resolve to go to Jax's this evening. When she got there around 7pm, she found Gemma there. "Hey."
"Hey," Tara replied. It was still odd to even exchange a civil greeting with Gemma, given her usual hatred of all the women Jax was with and their history together. Gemma had hated her with a passion the last time she had been with Jax and hadn't been thrilled when she had come back to Charming. The Biker Queen was civil at the moment – she probably realized that having Tara around was useful – but Tara wasn't quite sure she could trust the peace yet. There was little Gemma could do – you couldn't really tell your thirty year old son who to date – but having her as an sworn enemy wasn't something Tara was keen on. She guessed time would tell. "Did you feed Able?"
Gemma nodded. "He is in his bed. I guess it will be a few hours before you have to deal with him again. Enjoy. I'm going home. Fixing dinner for Clay."
"Does this mean Jax will be back soon?"
"What does one have to do with the other?" Gemma asked.
"Well, he said he has club business to attend to tonight and I thought Clay would be involved. If he is home, I guess things have changed."
"They don't do everything together," Gemma pointed out. "I wouldn't wait with dinner, if I were you. If Jax tells you, he is late, he is usually much later. I guess I didn't raise him to be on time."
Tara couldn't help feeling a bit disappointed at that. Usually she was the one in a relationship that was always working. Now she realized how annoying being on the other side of this could be. Well, nothing that she could do about that now. She showed Gemma out and went into the kitchen to fix a simple dinner for herself with what Jax had lying around – which wasn't much. She knew Bobby usually made lunch for the guys at TM and Jax seemed to rely on this for most of his nutrition – which probably wasn't a good idea if Bobby's figure was any indication. At home Jax seemed to exist on a combination of eggs, milk, cereal, booze and cigarettes which didn't appeal to her much. Having Abel home had changed things a bit but baby food wasn't exactly her favorite either. Luckily, Gemma brought a few things from time to time otherwise Jax would probably come home one night and find his whole kitchen empty. And then he would be hungry and have to deal with a famished infant who he couldn't even nurse. The thought of Jax holding Able to his chest was amusing and kept her smiling during her rather lonely dinner. When she was done and had finished doing the dishes she found herself with nothing to do. Unable to calm down enough for watching TV or something similar, she stated looking for something to do. Then she remember the boxes she had noticed this morning. Maybe she should start searching them, so Jax could get them back into storage soon.
It certainly would help cleaning up the house. It still amazed Tara that a man who kept all his tools, his cut and his motorcycle in pristine condition could be such a slob when it came to his actual house. She was pretty sure that the place would look like a dumb if Gemma didn't came around to clean from time to time. It seemed like this duty was shifting to her the more time she spent with Jax but she found that she didn't mind too much. Maybe in time she could teach Jax some better habits. She went upstairs, started sorting through the boxes and indeed found some baby stuff. Most of it was too old to be reused but some toys and clothes still looked good enough as did a couple of children's books. She moved them carefully aside and put all the other stuff in one box she would have Jax throw away afterwards.
When she opened the last box, the first thing she saw were old motorcycle manuals. It seemed like Jax had grabbed the wrong box, she highly doubted that there was anything for Abel in there unless there was such a thing as Harley children's book. But maybe the children stuff was further to the bottom. She moved the manuals aside and suddenly came face to face with a simple black magazine called "Mars". She had no idea what to make of it and took it out of the crate. It was complete nondescript but seemed to be pretty old – it was apparently the first edition of 2000. Was it some more Harley stuff? She opened it somewhere in the middle and gasped in shock.
Gay porn, Jax had gay porn in storage. The whole room started to spin around her. Jesus, was Jax actually gay? Was he just pretending to be with her avoid suspicion? Was he really working at the moment or did he use the time to get out of town and hook up with a guy on the side? But this couldn't be, could it? Their lovemaking had felt as real as it possibly could and Jax was known to bed women left and right. If it was just an elaborate ruse he wouldn't act like that, would he?
She heard the front door open below and the sounds of someone going to the kitchen. Jax must have returned. She had to talk about this with him. She just couldn't deal with this on her own. She put the magazine into the box and put the lid back on before walking down the stairs. She found Jax in the kitchen, drinking milk from the carton, as was his habit. He smiled and put the milk down when she entered. "Hey, babe"
Some of the milk remained on his face and she found it distracting. "You have some milk on your mouth."
He grinned more widely. "Easily fixed."
Jax walked to her and kissed her. It would have been hot but there was too much on her mind for her to enjoy this.
The VP pulled back when she didn't respond. "What's wrong, babe? Something wrong with Abel?"
"No, he's fine," Tara said quickly. "He is asleep in his bed."
"Then what's the matter?" he asked. From what Tara could tell he was honestly clueless, not a usual state for the normally pretty sharp Jax.
"I started going through the boxes you brought from storage," she began, trying not to sound accusing. Getting Jax defensive wouldn't help, she wanted answers, not a fight.
"Seems like you were pretty bored without me," Jax quipped, apparently unable to turn down the cockiness she liked so much. "Did you find something useful?"
"Some things, yeah, until I got to the last box. It was full of Harley manuals."
Now she could definitely see Jax tense. It was subtle and a moment later, he had a casual front again. "Must have grabbed the wrong box in storage. Or was there some baby stuff beneath the manuals?"
"No, just some gay porn."
Jax shook his head. "Goddammit."
Now everything started to bubble out of Tara. "What should I think about that, Jax? I can't believe I am asking this but are you secretly gay? Is this between us just a show for your MC buddies? Or for Gemma? Because I don't want to be a show act, especially not without being told! If you want out, just tell me."
"Jesus, Tara could you just calm down for a second?" Jax asked and Tara stopped herself even if it was hard. She looked at her boyfriend expectantly.
Jax was scratching his beard and looked thoughtful for a second. "You are right, it was my porn. But I am not gay."
"Because balls aren't touching?" Tara asked, unable to stop herself. It sounded too much like a bullshit excuse to her.
"No, because I am bisexual," Jax said with a glare. "So you don't get have to get all insecure because you don't have a dick."
Tara tried to process this. It was definitely better than Jax admitting that he was not attracted to her but it still came so unexpected and opened the door to a million other questions. One of them bubbled out. "Did you ever do something with a guy?"
"Yes," Jax said. His face was expressionless and hard to read.
"What did you do?"
"Pretty much all you can imagine. But if you are wondering, I am into fucking, not getting fucked."
Jesus, she had asked but now she was starting to regret the question. She felt like she didn't know the guy at all. And this confession brought up another question. "Anyone I know?"
"Maybe."
"Who?"
"Come on, Tara, what good does this do? All you need to know is that you are the only one I am seeing. I am not running some double life to hook up with Bobby when you aren't looking."
The Bobby thing was clearly a joke – or at least she hoped so. "Do the others know? The club? Gemma?"
"Some of the club," Jax said. "Not Clay, though. I don't know about Gemma. I never told her and she has never said anything but sometimes I wonder if she has caught on. Wouldn't surprise me."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Tara asked. "Then or now?"
Jax snorted. "Yeah, I bet sixteen-year old you would be really thrilled to learn about my teenage experimentation. Can't see any way this could have misfired at all."
Well, he got her there. "What about now?"
"I wasn't sure about that one yet. It didn't really matter since I am just with you at the moment and I have no plans to get some dick on the side. But at the same time I didn't want any secrets between us – at least not more than are necessary. I hadn't decided yet what to do. Seems like you made the decision for me."
He raked a hand through his long hair. "Please don't go spreading it around. That would be bad for both me and the club. "
"I won't," she promised. She might be hurt but she wouldn't sink so far.
"So what happens now?"
"I need some time to think about this."
"Maybe I can help," Jax said. He crossed the distance between them and kissed her passionately. Despite the turmoil in her head, she found herself responding. She would figure this out later. Satisfied with her response, Jax became bolder, slipping his tongue inside her mouth and pushing her closer to the kitchen table. A small push sent sprawling on the table and before she could get her bearing again, Jax was already on top of her, continuing their make out session. One of his hands slipped under her shirt, squeezing her breast.
"Off with the pants," Jax breathed into her ears, then pulled back to free himself from his jeans. A bit dazed by the sudden change of events, Tara struggled to get her pants off. When she had succeeded and wanted to follow up with her underwear, Jax beat her to it. His was still wearing his T-shirt and cut but everything below the waist was gone, giving her a good look at his rock-hard erection. He closed in, ripped her panties off – she hoped they were not broken – and pushed her back onto the table. He got on top of her and she felt his erection pushing against her pussy. Without further ado, Jax entered her, not stopping until he had sunk to hilt. Tara gasped at the intrusion – Jax was much bigger than Kohn had been and she hadn't gotten used to it again – which the VP stifled with another kiss. He didn't waste any time and started moving, giving her a hard, quick pace that pushed her into the unyielding wood below her with every thrust. It was not very comfortable but it was exactly what she needed at the moment. It was over quickly. Tara was pushed over the edge when Jax brushed her clitoris with his hands and when she involuntary tightened around him he spilled himself inside of her. Panting, both sweaty from the excessive layers of clothing they were wearing, they slowly separated again. Tara instinctively went for her clothes while Jax made no move to cover himself. "Damn," the VP said. "Remind me to do this more often."
He seemed pretty pleased with himself which Tara didn't find quite appropriate given the situation. "And where would you eat then?"
This did not faze Jax at all. "I don't mind that the table pulls double-duty." When she pulled her pants on, he stopped her. "Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?"
"No, no. It was great. I just have to think about us."
"Come on, Tara," Jax said, exasperated. "Didn't I just prove to you that I wasn't gay?"
"It's not like that," Tara said. "I just need to figure out how I feel about you being into guys."
"Shouldn't you find it hot?" Jax said, hopefully.
"I..." she began only to find that she did not know what to say. Tara guessed it could be hot but she had never thought about it too much one way or the other. She wasn't into porn that much and in real life it had never been an issue. "That's one of the things I have to find out. I will call you tomorrow."
"Whatever," Jax said, clearly mad at her. He took his cut off and pulled his shirt over his head, leaving him fully naked. "I will take a shower, you can either join me or show yourself out."
Tara did the later despite being quite tempted. On her way out, she went upstairs and snatched one of the magazines in the box. Maybe some research would help.
