DISCLAIMER: these characters don't belong to me, but to George Lucas; this story has been written without any profit's purpose.
PROLOGUE
For who has not read "The Courtship of Princess Leia" by Dave Wolverton it may turn out to be difficult to understand this fanfiction of mine, so I'll report briefly the summary of the book:
"Darth Vader and the Emperor are dead, but the Alliance still fights the Empire of Evil, even if money and resources are running out. The beautiful princess Leia, isolated and defenceless in the crude fight for survival of the Alliance, looks anxiously for reliable fellows and, particularly, for a new planet where the refugees of Alderaan can escape. Meanwhile, the powerful Queen Mother, undisputed sovereign of a sixtythree planets' group, expresses the wish that the young lady marries her son Isolder, a charming and bold hero. But as soon as Han Solo, in love with the princess since forever, learns the news of the imminent marriage, feeling like he's been treated unworthily, decides to risk everything he has to conquer her heart, and flees with her to the enchanting and wild world of Dathomir. Fearing the reaction of the implacable queen, Luke Skywalker leaves with prince Isolder to look for the fugitives. Luke has travelled from one extreme to the other of the galaxy to rebuild the history of the Jedi knights, and doesn't suspect at all that on Dathomir many extraordinary adventures are expecting him with a sect of witches gifted of disquieting powers, not to mention an enormous treasure and the rendering of accounts with an ancient and cruel enemy…."
The book ends with the long awaitedmarriage between Han and Leia, yet the reasons and the feelings which lead to this step aren't very much clear…. if you think that the princess realizes to be in love with Han just in the last pages of the novel!
There's a passage in particular that I'm not able to swallow/come to terms with, it can be found just after the rescue of Leia made by Isolder and the kiss between them:
"Leia found herself crying, had never really imagined that she would let something like this happen. But at that moment, whatever attachment she had ever felt for Han suddenly seemed to become as insubstantial as fog, as a gentle white mist, and Isolder was the sun, burning it all away."
As an incurable fan of Han and Leia I thought that it wasn't really possible, and from here the idea of my fanfiction was born!
CHAPTER 1
Leia was sitting in front of the mirror, busy brushing softly her hair, it was slightly less long than a few years ago, but it had kept the brightness and the softness of youth, oh, if the rest had remained like that too!
Not that princess Leia was ugly, but the continuous comparison with the splendid Hapans women, famous all over the galaxy for their beauty, had demoralized her a little bit, the never-ending diplomatic assignments had lead her to disregard herself and her husband hadn't certainly made it easier to accept.
Isolder was an Hapan and, as such, didn't bring the signs of oldness, typical of the human race, even if eleven years since their marriage had already passed he was still beautiful and, for him, time seemed to have stopped at the moment of their first meeting.
«Damned Hapans!», she burst out while she kept smoothing her hair with the brush. «If only Isolder started to grow older a bit too!».
Her remark was full of jealousy, surely this wasn't a thing she had considered when they had married, but now it was a bitter pill to swallow and there wasn't a single occasion which did not remind her of it.
Of course the admiring glances directed to him didn't escape her, it seemed like the whole female universe was attracted by her husband… and neither did she miss the glances that he directed elsewhere!
At the beginning it hadn't been like that, at the beginning it was just her in his eyes and it was the others who were jealous of princess Leia Organa…. then, slowly but relentlessly something had changed, both had moved away from each other and, maybe also because of the lack of children the distance between them had grown farther and farther.
She couldn't tell the exact moment when this weird phase had started, probably everything had happened so gradually that neither of them had noticed it and now, it was too late to find a remedy for that.
From the outside, Leia and Isolder seemed a happy couple, they always showed themselves together at the great ceremonies, they often had the same opinions, they shared the same interests, they had the same tastes and both of them had a total respect for the other. That was their public image, and both of them had been very careful not to ruin such an illusion for the eyes of the rest of the universe: a small suspect, a small crack, a small proof of weakness could have turned into a new war.
The years with Isolder had brought peace, the Alliance and the kingdom of Hapes had merged and in no time the Empire had been wiped out, at least that part formed by soldiers and military bases. Unfortunately the strongest and most dangerous part of the Empire, the latent one, the one hidden in the shadow, the one still able to corrupt politicians and to buy silence, wasn't dead yet and was ready to take advantage of the first occasion to overwhelm the enemy.
«When I actually tend to myself, I'm not that bad». She looked once more at the mirror in search of solace, after all, time had been kind with her too and, except for some expression's wrinkle and a more lengthened face, she was still a beautiful woman.
«Oh, where did I put those white pearled clasps?» Leia started to rummage in her many drawers, until something unexpected was caught between her fingers and hit her attention: they were little combs of silver and opal extracted from Alderaan.
She didn't know how they'd ended there, yet she was sure she had put them in safe place, away from her reach and closed where nobody but her of her own will could reach. Holding them in her hands gave her a weird sensation, it wasn't just because the stones came from Alderaan, it was the memory that they brought back to her to be particularly painful: those little combs had been given to her by Han.
She remembered the curiosity that she had proved while unpacking that gift, the emotion while recognizing the stones came from her native planet, brutally destroyed by Great Moff Tarkin, the tears of joy which she had shed and the long passionate kiss which had followed, it had been the most beautiful gift she'd ever received.
Enough's enough, you need to stop thinking about it.
And with that Leia grabbed the combs and put them back in the drawer where she had found them. Despite the fact that many years had passed, certain memories still hurt, in fact, the more time passed the more certain thoughts insinuated in her mind, sometimes she feared that it was a sort of curse cast over her by the space pirate before he had vanished.
xxx
Han had left just a little before her wedding with Isolder without saying a word to anybody, nor to Luke, he had simply collected all his stuff and had left with Chewbacca in the Falcon and since then no one had seen him again.
He had never wanted to hear any explanation from her, he'd never asked her why, if only he had let her talk…. Maybe he would have understood the compulsoriness of her choices.
After giving her a ring which, if not precious for the material, at least was important for her as a symbol of the feelings he had felt for her, he had asked her point-black:
«It's either me or Isolder.»
This was the last image Leia had of Han while he was roaming anger-stricken in her room: she had never answered with a name, she had simply said: «Han, try to understand...»
And he had understood, in his own way.
Even now Leia was trying to repeat herself the reason of that choice, she tried to convince herself that, for a person of her social position it would have been unthinkable to lead on a relationship with a penniless ex-smuggler of unknown provenance, with terrible diplomatic skills and an uncontrollable temper.
On one hand there was Han with all his drawbacks, on the other there was Isolder, prince of Hapes, rich, beautiful, of noble origins and with a reassuring future: the result of such a comparison was predictable.
And she, being a perfect diplomatic, a politician and powerful woman, had made the calculation, and such a choice had been repaid with the reaching peace and the defeat of the Empire, but how much had it cost to her?
Neverminding the professional sphere, how much had Leia paid as a person for that choice?
Yes… she had to admit that, on the other plate of the balance there was more than Han Solo and his drawbacks, of this Leia had become aware very soon, but she didn't regret to have thrown away her happiness to the detriment of the political victories she had reached, of the lives she had saved by putting the war to an end, of the hope of a better future she had managed to instill in her followers.
The thing she couldn't forgive herself for was the fact of being the cause of deep unhappiness for a man really in love with her, she should have never returned his feelings and let herself go, it had been wrong of her give him hope and foment his feelings only to have him facing brutally the reality of thing later.
She couldn't expect him to understand, not after everything that had happened between them. She hated him, because he hadn't given her the chance to explain somehow and, in a certain way, to let out her own conscience. Now the thought of him was like a woodworm, when she expected it less it returned to pinch her mind, sometimes she could also see the image of Han saying: «I told you!» with his index pointed a few centimetres away from her face.
She knew for sure that he was still alive somewhere in the universe, she could feel it from the Force, even if she wasn't powerful like Luke, its presence gave her solace, but none of the spies secretly sent with the task of finding where the smuggler was had managed to find him.
She was aware that lately Han had suffered very much, she ignored the reason, but anyway he was alive and that was the most important thing, maybe it was better not to know the rest.
«Princess Leia, Mother Queen asks if you are ready for representation's dinner with the ambassadors of Roche's system, I could tell from her tone that she was rather impatient…» The voice of D-3BO made Leia abruptly return to reality, too many thoughts had made her lose track of time and it was happening more and more often lately.
«I'm coming D-3BO, the more years pass, the more I need to doll myself up, Mother Queen will understand.» She hoped for a sentence of comfort, kindness was one of the droid's best qualities even if sometimes it exceeded with chatting.
«Your Highness, allow me to say that your process of aging follows the human race's standards, yet your beauty is above all the canons previewed by my countless calculation cards and I also wanted to tell you that…»
«Thank you, D-3BO» said Leia, exiting from her room.
Now she had to face some important negotiations and there was no more place for emotions, those would have to wait until she was in her rooms again. Now she needed to go back to wearing her mask of strong and inscrutable woman, but, at least for a moment, the droid had managed to make her smile.
