What Are The Odds

By Miuda22

Chapter 1 - Where do I start?

Sam is dreaming, he's walking along a beach and he can feel each grain of soft, wave wet sand as he takes each step slip through his toes and squelch under the soles of his feet, leaving prints in his wake. He can feel the sun shine on his face and a light sea breeze flow through his hair, the weight of a small jewellery box burning a hole in his pocket and when he looks up and sees a familiar woman running towards him, his heart flutters seeing her beautiful blond hair bouncing behind her, he waves to her and calls out "Jess!" then he sees anguish cross her face and tears flood her eyes, he realises somethings very wrong, he starts running and the scene morphs into flames and heat, with Jess on the ceiling and his arms are outstretched towards her and a baby crying in the distance "NNNOOOOOOOOOO!" he screams and jolts awake, panting his breaths with his heart pounding in his chest. He quickly looks around the room and sets his eyes on the white second hand cot to the right of his bed and he sighs in relief, swipes a had over his face "shit" he whispers, it's been 4 months and these nightmares don't seem to be letting up any time soon, especially as the guilt has taken up residence in his already shattered heart. The illusion of walking on that beach and the shock of reality brings Sam quickly crashing back to earth. He wishes he could just go back to sleep and just stay in that place where everything was wonderful and safe and he was happy, at least when he wasn't thinking about his family.

He grabs for his watch and sees that it's 5 am, a new personal record of 3 hours continuous sleep. He pulls his arms up and places his hands flat on the bed on either side of his waist and groans as he pushes upper body up into a seating position, then pushes aside the sheets and drags his legs to the side of the bed. He leans forward and grabs his wheelchair and maneuvers it into position so he can pull himself up and into the chair, then he pulls on the wheels and moves over to his daughters cot, he looks over at her peaceful face and lightly touches her cheek with his thumb, she makes a snuffly noise but stays asleep. Sam drags his wheels into reverse so he moves away from her so as not to disturb her sleep.

He goes to the bathroom to begin his daily hygiene routine that has become the norm due to his condition. While in the shower his mind wanders to his brother and father, and hopes for the thousandth time that they are safe and well. He also wishes that even though he would give anything to see them again, he dreads the day that they would ever see what has become of him, a depressed, disabled, widdowed, single father with no job and no desire to go back to the life he started at Stanford , not with the pain that the memories of that time still invokes. Once he has showered and dressed in track pants and a t-shirt he moves into the kitchen to start brewing the morning coffee.

Minutes later upstairs Bobby stirs awake from the strong coffee smell wafting up the stairs into his room and he groans as he pulls himself out of his warm bed and away from his pleasant dreams of a life as a younger man with his wife years ago. After finishing in the bathromm, he listens to the sounds from the kitchen and knows that Sam is starting his day early, and knowing him, probably from the nightmares that have plagued the young father for months and wishes to his bones that he was able to do more for him in regards to getting in contact with his wayward family and growls under his breath just at the thought of them "I'll kill them" he whispers and moves back into his room to get dressed.

To think about the last 18 months and what the man in the kitchen has gone through and what he continues to go through makes his heart ache, but is proud of the knowledge that he can help in his own small way to make the life he has now with him as normal and as safe as possible. In his mind Sam is the strongest young man he has even met and is in awe of how he has been able to get past the deep cloud of depression he was buried under, when all this first happened, the fire and accident that resulted in his handicap, that he is still trying to not get him down, if just for the sake of his daughter and the man who he originally fondly called Pa when talking to his baby girl and has now taken to calling him that in private.

Bobby bounds down the stairs and into the kitchen towards the smell of coffee and pancakes that Sam has just started cooking on the stove. He moves around Sam towards the coffee machine and looks at his back. "Mornin Sam" he says and takes a step towards him and Sam moves away to the counter, knowing that Bobby will now take over to cooking duties, not because he thinks that Sam can't do it but because he knows his own limitations due to his current height issues.

"Morning Pa, sleep well?" he asks with an affectionate tone

"Yeah, I did but your coffee brew woke me up so if I get cranky from lack of sleep, it's your fault" Bobby says back with a mischievous glint in his eye "How's my girl?"

"Sleeping like a princess..., now anyway, she did not want to go to sleep after her midnight bottle, I don't know what's going on with her?"

"Maybe she wants to sleep with her Grandpa" Bobby adds with a smile

"If you want to give it try, go ahead, she loves pulling on your beard so maybe that's what she needs" Sam says moving quickly to avoid the slap to the head that was coming his way "Idjit" Bobby laughs back, making Sam laugh and grinning at the sound that has not been heard a lot lately and he is quite happy to hear.

After breakfast has been eaten and the dishes done, Sam knows that Bobby will want to begin his working day "Are you planning on working out in the workshop today or are you driving out for parts?" he asks

"I'm in the workshop today, can you answer the phones for me, both lines?" he asks knowing that Sam didn't mind working on the business side of things but was a bit hesitant to have any contact the whole hunter community, as many of them know about the Winchesters and he didn't want to get into any uncomfortable conversations.

"I think that'll be fine, if I get any calls I can't answer I'll come and get you"

Later that morning the rumbling sound of a familiar engine comes roaring down the drive to Singer Salvage and Sam is taking a coffee break on the porch swing, he pulls himself up to sit straighter, worry and fear twisting in his gut, the black muscle car comes to a stop in a cloud of dust and when it settles, Dean opens the car with a creak and looks over at the figure on the porch with disbelief and anger. "What the Hell are you doing here?" he asks not really interested in the answer.

"It's a long story" Sam says in a soft, weary voice.

"Bobby around?" Sam sighs at the quick change of subject.

"He's in the workshop around back"

Dean slams the door shut and starts walking towards the side of the house that leads to the workshop, stops and turns towards his brother with a look of betrayal on his face "I can't believe you're here, after everything you said about hunting before you abandoned us, you're actually staying here? Did you just not want to be around you family is that it?"

"…AAHH What?... No... that's not…" Sam stumbles out shaking his head.

"Whatever, I don't really care" and with that Dean leaves with a dismissive flourish of his hands. Sam is left bewildered and not at all surprised with the reaction, he maneuvers into his chair and goes inside to check on his daughter, glad that Dean didn't even notice the wheelchair and ask the inevitable questions that he wasn't all that keen in answering.

Dean walks around to the workshop thinking about Sam and what he could possibly be doing at Bobby's, thinking he'll give the gruff hunter a talking too for not telling him that he was here. When suddenly he's pushed up against the wall and Bobby's in his face yelling at him, ' where the hell have you been? Do you know how many times I tried calling you in the last 6 months? You better have a good excuse..." Dean blinks a few times trying to let his brain catch up to answer him.

'"What the hell are you talking about?"

Bobby is breathing hard and says ' What I'm talking about is all the crap your brother has had to deal with for the last 6 months and we couldn't get in contact with you or your father, Jim and Caleb tried calling you too but you were ignoring us all, where the hell have you two been?

"I don't know what your talking about, Dad and I have been hunting a nest of Vamps down in Louisiana for the last 5 months and we had to go deep in order to take them all out…I thought you knew this?"

"NO I didn't know this, if I did, would I be asking you? You bleedin idjit!" Bobby grounds out.

"Do you mind telling me what's got your knickers in a not? And what my brother is doing here" Dean asks exasperated by Bobby's tone

Bobby takes a breath to calm his nerves; he really didn't expect to see the man in front of him again but is also relieved as the young man inside is barely holding on as it is.

"It's a really long story…"

"That's what Sam said, sounded like a lame excuse to me, I thought he was at Stanford, not mooching off of you?"

"Hey now you don't know a God Damn thing tabout what Sam has gone through, so you watch your mouth" Bobby growls out at Dean

"Whoa, calm down"

"No, I will not calm down, you have NO right to come to MY house and start in on that boy"

"Bobby? How long has he been here?"

"He's here indefinitely, the story about the how and why is not mine to tell" with that Bobby stalks towards the house and stops "If you are at all interested in the real story, you best get that stick out of your ass and come inside"

"Indefinitely? What the hell?" Dean says softly to himself and he decides he is intrigued and surprised at the worry that creeps into his chest, he hasn't felt this in a long, long time…

Once inside, Dean walks towards the lounge room and looks around, he notices that it's tidy, which for Bobby is a miracle compared to the organized kayos that was Bobby's house the last time he was here, the house also seems to have clear passage ways around all the pieces of ages and well lived in furniture, everything is at a low level, which is odd too, then a noise brings his head around to the guest bedroom, off to the left of the large main room, first Bobby then he sees a much shorter Sam, he does a double take and realizes that Sam is in a wheelchair "What the Hell happened? What are you doing in a freakin wheelchair Sam?" he yells.

"Well, that's the million dollar question isn't it " "What the Hell happened?" Where do I start?