A/N: Obviously I don't own anything of Kingdom Hearts, only this one shot. It may contain some BBS spoilers, so beware! Don't tell me I didn't warn you. This is some sort of introduction to what I'm planning to write more about in the future. Well, maybe, 'cause I'm not entirely sure about it yet. It really depends on the reviews and such (and time!). I've also written a one-shot that takes place during KH: COM. It's kinda related to this story, but you can read both apart from each other too. Enjoy reading. :)
~ All he could do was bear with them for the time being. ~
It had happened again, much to his dismay. Let's see, when had it started? He knew that...probably. His mind just didn't want to remember that little fact. How many times had it happened to him already? He did not know. What did it mean? He did not know. Was he rambling again? Maybe...he did not know. Was this a dream, or reality? He was not entirely sure...okay, he had not a single clue. Then was there anything he did know? He did not know that, either, for he only had a hunch of what this could mean.
To be honest, Xehanort really had no idea at all what exactly was going on with him lately. Was he just being tired, or was he really starting to lose his mind, slowly but surely? Maybe it was just the killing stress that caused all this, coupled with the sudden frustrations of an entailed memory. Yes, he was confused, but there had to be something more to it, right?
After all, he had to admit that writing many lengthy reports about everything loose and stuck around you and, as if what he did still wasn't enough, recruiting new, intelligent enough members who could help them with their studies about hearts, darkness and what not, could be pretty exhausting, even for someone like him. Someone who had never taken the easy route in Life. Especially if you had to do this all over, every freakin' day, for the rest of you useless and almost pathetic life. And the sleep deficit he was having did not really help him in this case, either.
All in all, it was a pretty lethal combination for him and it actually killed him slowly from the inside, probably starting with his mind and his precious brains. Every morning, when Xehanort woke up (exhausted and disoriented), which usually was at five O'clock in the morning due to his important work, he felt terribly sick and dizzy.
Every time he looked in the mirror, he saw that the color on his skin started to fade away slowly. Perhaps his tiredness was why he had those immersive, exhausting dreams in which way too much was happening at the very same time, every single night. It was like a sharp reflection of everything he had experienced throughout that same day and that was actually not something he had been waiting for.
The funny - actually, funny was not the right word here. Ironic fitted better - thing about those disturbing dreams was that he never dreamed about himself. He always dreamed about a tall and handsome young man with dark brown hair (like the darkest chocolate imaginable) that reached to the base of his neck in the back and he'd styled it into a rather messy tangle of vertical spikes and bangs that framed his usually serious-looking face. His dark blue eyes sometimes looked like gemstones and his slightly tanned skin was always clear and flawless.
Even more remarkable than this happening was that this boy looked very much like him. Just a bit too much, he thought. It was not only confusing but also kind of...scary. Only Xehanort's eyes had a rare glowing orange-yellowish shade and his hair was as white as snow, with some silver bangs here and there. Oh, and the skin, of course. His skin was much darker than the guy's skin. At times like these, he thought he really was fortunate that no one else could read his mind. Then again, they'd most likely understand less than he did.
He did not even know what the name of the young man was, or why he kept having those peculiar dreams about him and his key-shaped weapon (because, you know, he definitely didn't swing that way). It seemed almost as if he was not allowed to know, or recall the guy's name.
He frowned at this confusing thought, wondering where on earth that had come from. It was farfetched, but it also made some sense, in some sort of confusing way.
That mysterious and tall young man was usually accompanied by two other people, usually on a place where the sun always seemed to be shining. They all had a key-shaped sword, but they had different shapes, sizes and colors.
...Keyblade...
One of his friends - he assumed that those people had to be his friends. Why else would he hang out with them that much? - was an energetic teenage boy, slightly younger than the brown-haired young man. The teenager had short blond hair; short spikes that were diverted to the right side of his head and rare, stunning blue-blue eyes. Ones that actually made your mouth just drop in amazement. Amazement for the almost pure and clean color.
He was the most cheerful member of the group, a real rascal actually. He couldn't miss any opportunity to make a joke with anyone. His eyes were always twinkling from amusement and pure bliss. His voice sounded so happy that you wanted to laugh along with him, even though there was nothing to laugh about at all. Certainly not for Xehanort.
The second person he kept dreaming of was a rather slender girl...or more a young woman. And what kind of young woman. She had brilliant cerulean eyes and her blue shoulder-length hair matched her remarkable eyes just perfectly. She was the more silent and serious one in their group and one could easily see that she always knew what she was doing. Her calm yet melodious voice and her eyes were the two things that surprised him the most. When she moved, it was graceful and elegant. You just had to keep looking at her. Xehanort could tell that she was very important to the group. Maybe she was their leader? That seemed probable and impossible at the same time, for Xehanort thought that the oldest guy looked and sounded more like a potential leader than she did. At least, from what he'd seen of them so far.
Who was this young woman? What did she have to do with him? Why did she return in all the dreams he had about those three people so far? Did they belong to his unknown past, which he could not remember for some dark, mysterious reasons?
Did those dreams mean more than he could understand? Was there something important that he did not know yet? Something he could not know, but actually had to? There were so many questions to be answered.
He wished that he had all the answers. But how could he find the answers? He had no idea where he should start with searching in the first place. Did he want to search for the answers in the first place? Wasn't it better to know nothing? Maybe he had repressed his past for a reason. That was quite possible. But why? That was the big question that was driving him insane.
Those dreams were haunting him more than anything in the world. It was a simple fact and there was no way he could deny that. The unknown girl was haunting him even more, without really doing anything scary. No matter what he was doing or where he was, his thoughts always seemed to drift over to her. And every time he woke up having those strange dreams again, and bathing in his own sweat, his heart ached terribly. He started to feel empty and sad. He still had not even a single clue of what exactly was happening with him these days.
He always dreaded going to sleep, because he just knew that once he had closed his eyes, those dreams would be ready to chase after him and suck up all the remaining energy he still had left (which wasn't that much to begin with). That was why the other people of the castle in Radiant Garden always could find him in the enormous library until late at night, reading books and doing anything to keep himself from falling asleep.
Even now, he was sitting here in the deserted library, all on his own. A book lay in front of him on the wooden table, opened on the first page, but he had not read more than the first three words, "Chapter 1. Giving-"
They probably thought that he actually liked reading books, but they had no idea of what really was happening right in front of their very eyes. He did not talk about his dreams with anyone. It was none of their business, anyway. Besides, it wasn't that any of them would actually care. The idea alone was laughable; sitting there with that oddball Even, drinking a cup of tea, while pouring his heart out. No, it was better for everyone if he kept his mouth shut. Ansem the Wise was enough suspicious of him as it was.
Sometimes, though, Braig gave him the idea that he did know more about his past. He even had called him "Terra" once and the strange thing about that was that he really had thought his name was Terra, for one fleeting moment. He had the strange feeling that the boy's name was Terra as well, but he did not know why he was thinking that. It was more like a feeling.
There had also been another person he had dreamt about. It was an older guy. He figured out that it had to be the teacher of the small group. His black hair was tied into a short, high topknot, with one thick bang nonchalantly falling off to the right side of his face. He also had a mustache, but what really made him seem strict, were the thick scars running down his face, which were probably old battle scars.
At first, he had not been able to recall his name, but suddenly the name "Master Eraqus" had popped up into his mind. Something felt wrong about that "Master." Every time he thought about him, he started to feel incredibly guilty. There was also another feeling, just as strong as the other one: unreasonable hatred. Was he an enemy? He didn't really look like a bad guy, though. But then again, who was he to decide on which side the guy was?
Thinking too much of the dreams that bothered him always gave him a terrible head ache, but he just could do nothing else but think of it, think of them, all day long. He was pretty sure of one thing, though; those dreams would not leave him alone for a long time. All he could do was bear with them for the time being. He did not know if he was able to do so, though, but he knew he had no other choice.
A/N: Thanks for actually taking the time to read this! =) I really hope you've enjoyed it. ^_^ So was it good? Bad? Let me know what you think of this one-shot and let me also know if you want more one-shots like this one, about this very same subject and if you want a series of one-shots, all put in one story, or just all those one-shots apart from each other. You would really help me if you did that. The next one-shot (if anyone's interested) will be about what exactly he's dreaming. So more BBS spoilers to go!
