DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter.
A/N: Inspiration for this story came from Avril Lavigne's song 'Losing Grip'.
Losing Grip
Pansy Parkinson sat alone in her Slytherin dormitory, tears sparkling in her eyes as she thought of how Draco Malfoy had been treating her for the past year. Whenever she tried to take his hand, so that they could walk together to their next class, he pulled away from her grip and either quickened his pace so that she was unable to keep up, or he would take a detour and disappear for hours at a time.
She remembered one time when Draco had been alone in the common room. She'd gone to fetch her school bag, having forgotten to take it to her dormitory, when she found him staring into the fire with his back to the room. Pansy crept up behind him and slipped her arms around his waist, resting her forehead on his shoulder. She had felt him turn in her arms and, thinking he was turning to hug her back, she loosened her grip. But he'd simply detached himself and left for his dormitory, leaving her behind to stare blankly at a closed door...
As she lay staring at the high ceiling, she thought of the day they had come back to Hogwarts. She had held her hand out for him to take so they could get a carriage together, but he'd told her to go ahead, his only explanation being that he wanted to check something.
Why would he do that? He was supposed to be her boyfriend and yet he'd been cold towards her ever since he had joined them at the Slytherin table. But she hid her disappointment well. Whilst Draco re-enacted his encounter with Potter, she laughed along with everyone else. But her insides churned with something she couldn't quite explain. Then Draco turned to look at her: he had felt her staring at him. A light pink flush crept up into her face, so she turned her gaze to her bowl of fresh cream and strawberries.
Pansy decided there and then that she would not let Draco Malfoy damage her ego. She would remain impassive to his behaviour. Pretend she hadn't noticed and pretend that he had not hurt her. She didn't know when, but he would soon have to acknowledge her with more than just a cold stare.
Who could she tell? Her friends would laugh at her, tell her she was being stupid. They had often told her that she was sometimes too clingy with Draco, but she ignored them, telling herself that he didn't mind. Granted, men like Draco needed their space, but she had thought that having only three classes in total together he would have plenty of space.
She was not the only person to notice that Draco spent less and less time in the Slytherin common room. Everyone knew that Draco's father had been captured at the end of the last school year and thrown in Azkaban and so they assumed that he was avoiding them. While people still spoke to him and laughed with him, there was a limit to it all. His name was dirt around the school, and whilst Pansy remained faithful to him, others laughed at him behind his back.
She supposed she must be the only person left in school who actually cared about him, and this knowledge turned on her, making her nervous when she was around friends. She tried to join in with their laughter about the blonde haired man, but it went against the grain to do so. She had noticed how he seemed to be losing weight and his skin had taken on a cold greyish tinge that reminded her of the stone gargoyles placed around the school. But she was the only one who did.
Pansy turned onto her side, staring at the gas lamp that glowed on her bedside cabinet. She wondered who Draco was with every time he disappeared in the evenings. Maybe he was seeing another girl? Perhaps someone she knew. Maybe even someone she shared a dorm with! That was when Pansy swore to herself she would find out who he was seeing behind her back, even if it was the last thing she did.
Pansy remembered back in their fourth year during the Triwizard Tournament. They were supposed to be putting the horrible Blast-Ended Skrewts into crates to see if they hibernated, which seemed like a stupid idea to her. Most of the class had let themselves into Hagrid's cabin, noses pressed against the windows.
It was when they were on their way back to the castle that Draco had pulled her back and asked her if she would accompany him to the Yule Ball on Christmas Day. Professor Snape had told them about it the previous evening. He had let himself into the common room and told them about it in a rather bored voice. The girls squealed with delight but the guys had all groaned when they realised what it would mean. But they all looked marginally more cheerful when Snape had said that Potter would have to open the Ball tripping over his own feet with an imaginary partner.
All day Pansy had waited for Draco to ask her if she would go to the ball with him and when he finally asked her on their way to lunch she lost no time in telling him 'Yes'. She was going to the Yule Ball with Draco Malfoy! She could hardly keep the smug look off of her face.
Pansy was now crying as she remembered how it used to be with her and Draco, and how it contrasted with how he treated her now. Only earlier this evening she had found Draco walking with a couple of first year girls up the staircase that led to the seventh floor. She had literally shrieked at him to explain what he was doing with these children, not even registering the obvious fact that they were seven years younger than him. He had turned on her, telling her to mind her own business, then went on his way up the staircase.
She'd ran up the steps and grabbed his wrist, wrenching him round to face her. He'd looked livid, but it was nothing in comparison to what she was feeling inside. She brought her right arm back and, with all the strength she could muster, she brought her hand crashing against Draco's cheek, leaving a large hand print on his face. She couldn't bring herself to care. Instead, she rambled on about how he had treated her so unfairly over the past year. She was supposed to be his girlfriend and he should have a little more respect for her.
When he appeared not to be listening she brought her hand back and prepared to slap him again, but he had caught her wrist and said, 'Pansy, listen to me. I want you to go to your dormitory and stay there. It won't be safe for you to be anywhere else in the castle tonight. You need to stay there and stay out of the way. No matter what you may hear. Trust me.'
Then he'd turned away from her and carried on up the stairs, the two first years close behind him. And Pansy couldn't help but trust him. She ran down stair case after stair case, until she came to the Entrance Hall. Racing down towards the dungeons she gave the password and flung herself across the room, into her dormitory and onto her bed. There she reminisced the old days, whilst she heard the distant bangs, crashes and shouts that echoed through the dungeons.
The Death Eaters had entered Hogwarts.
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